by Brey Willows
Alec gave her a big hug, and the relief on her face was clear. “Hey, avenger. How you been?”
“Good, really good. Dani, can I introduce you to Selene?”
She shook Selene’s hand, and her smile was gentle and genuine. “Great to meet you. Any friend of Alec’s, and all that. You must be finding all of this a bit disorienting, though?”
“Likewise. And yes, it’s…Yes. Disorienting is a good word for it.”
She glanced at Alec. “How about I get a drink and we go sit on the patio? I hate being stuck inside at these things.”
Jesus laughed. “That’s because people hate being stuck inside with you.”
Dani winced, and her smile was forced. “Yeah, well, no news there.” She headed toward the kitchen and Selene gave Jesus a questioning look.
“Death is a reminder, you know? Not only does she take our followers, sometimes by the truckload, but there’s no telling if she might come for one of us. Well, not really, because we don’t work that way. But she still represents finality, you know? Like, she’s a bummer.”
Alec shook her head. “She’s no more responsible for the way life works than you are, or I am. Cut her some slack, would you?” She turned to Selene. “She has a hard time making friends because in a way, J is right. What she stands for disturbs even the gods.”
“But you said she’s a good friend of yours?” Selene said.
Dani rejoined them with a beer in hand. “She’s been my closest friend for centuries.” She motioned toward the patio doors. “Shall we?”
The four of them headed outside, and Selene felt like she was in the strangest conga line ever created. Death leading the way, followed by the son of God, an ancient fury, and…herself. Alec reached back, as though sensing Selene’s need for contact, and she gratefully took her hand. Even amid this chaos, being with Alec felt like high ground in a flood. Once again, she pictured her wings, so massive, so soft, and the way Alec’s eyes changed to an unknowable, impossible black the night she’d been protecting Selene. She shivered slightly.
Dani sat at an empty table near a heat lamp and patted the chair next to her. “Selene, you want to sit closest to the heat? Wouldn’t want you catching cold.”
The innocuous comment should have been sweet, but coming from Dani Death, it held a faintly ominous note. No wonder she has trouble making friends. Everything she says feels like an omen. She smiled at her with the sudden desire to make her feel less self-conscious. “Thank you, that would be nice.”
They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching as guests roamed in and out. When they saw Alec, they often started to head their way. But when they saw who was at the table with her, they changed direction.
“Don’t let it get to you, buddy. You know how they are.” Alec squeezed Dani’s shoulder.
“That’s why I don’t come to these things. I always end up feeling worse. But when I heard you and your guest were coming, I decided it was worth it.”
“Then concentrate on that. I’m always worth it.” Alec winked and gave her a saucy grin. They all laughed, and the tension was broken.
Dani turned to Selene. “So, questions. You must have a million. Can I help?”
Selene glanced at Alec, who nodded. “If there’s anyone who can answer the basics, it’s this lady. She’s older than all of us put together.”
“Well, that’s not strictly true. My post is older. I’ve only been in the position for a bit longer than Alec. Jesus, here, is the baby of the group. There aren’t many in the organization younger than him.”
Jesus propped his feet on the edge of the table and sipped his Corona. “True enough. But there are plenty of my offshoots who are younger.”
Selene wiped at the condensation on her glass thoughtfully. Where to start? “Death’s persona is always portrayed as male. But you say it hasn’t always been you?”
Dani shook her head. “No. The position has been in play since humans gained a level of consciousness about their world and became aware of the inevitability of death. I’ll probably retire soon myself.”
Selene processed that for a moment. “Okay, I suppose the first thing that occurs to me is why are all of you here? I mean, Alec said you’re brought into existence by people’s belief systems.” She looked at Jesus. “So, that’s why you worry about keeping people believing in you. But what happens when people stop believing in you?”
Dani looked at Alec, who tilted her head for her to answer. “For those who need belief to be here, losing believers means losing life force. The more life force they lose, the more insubstantial they become. We call it fading.”
“But Alec and her sisters can’t fade. And you?”
“No. That’s why Alec and I have been friends for so long. She and her sisters understand the necessity of my post, and I understand what they do. We’ve worked together on many, many cases. Without death, the world couldn’t exist properly. There’s a natural cycle, and I’m a part of that. I don’t need belief because I’m an undeniable fact.” She took a sip of her beer, obviously considering her words. “And because the gods fade or, essentially, die when they lose their followers, they often blame me for taking those followers, even though there’s no other option.” She gave her a small, sad smile. “So you see why I’m not the most popular party guest.”
Selene squeezed her hand, noting that it felt cold and bony. “I’m sorry. That must make for a lonely existence.”
Her smile widened and she began to laugh. She squeezed Selene’s hand in return. “Imagine, a human being one of the first people in centuries to acknowledge the loneliness of being Death.” She looked at Alec. “Excellent.”
Selene turned to Jesus. “I have to ask this, because it seems like the most logical, if clichéd question of all time. If you all really exist, and you’re there working to answer prayers, why do bad things happen? Wars, poverty, plagues?”
Jesus sighed and tugged his socks up. “Okay. So here’s the thing. Yeah, we answer prayers. But they’re on a first come, first served basis, right? I mean, one prayer comes in asking for something, and we answer it. The next prayer comes in, asking for the opposite thing, and because we’ve already answered the first one, we can’t answer the second. It’s about who gets in first. At least, with the Christians it is. And the Jews. A few of the religions have a hierarchy, where if you’re born in a certain caste system or whatever, you have to wait until you’re reborn into another one to get your prayers answered.” He shrugged and wiggled his sock covered toes. “It sounds harsh when you describe it that way, but it’s true.”
“Okay, so that covers prayer. Kind of. What about the other stuff? Bad things happening to good people?”
Alec leaned forward to answer, but Jesus cut her off. “That’s where free will comes in. See, the gods are only as powerful as they’re believed to be, and they’re never more powerful than the people who created them, ironically. People have free will, and if they really believe they’re doing the right thing, they’re going to do it regardless of whether or not the gods approve or can help their cause. When big things happen, like wars, especially between religions or in one or more of our names,” Jesus made air quotes at this, rolling his eyes, “most prayers go unanswered because there are too many opposing prayers coming in. People do the wicked, awful, horrifying things they do, and then we try to clean up the mess and provide some relief afterward. We don’t honor the prayers of extremists, and the Afterlife constitution says we don’t act on prayers against one another.”
Selene pondered the answer for a long time, the sounds of the party in the house behind her growing more raucous. “So when times are okay, you’re here for people. But when things get really bad, you don’t do anything of use. Is that about it?”
Jesus sat up, his face red. “We give hope. We might not be able to help a lot in the face of humanity’s messed up ways, but we can give those who have no hope in their lives a reason to keep going. And we do answer prayers, in a logical way. But when two football tea
ms go out on the field, and they both pray for a win, you take the prayer that comes in first. That’s fair. And it’s answering a prayer. Being useful and shit.”
That Jesus swore was something Selene filed away to consider later. For now, she needed to understand yet more of the world she’d been dropped into. She thought about her conversation with Frey, and wondered if he was right. Maybe hope, faith, and religion were only crutches, excuses for people to behave badly, or to behave well but only for a reward. But then, maybe without hope, without getting their prayers answered, people would give up on lives that were ultimately too hard to bear. The concept was too much to take on board all at once.
“Okay. And the afterlife?”
They all stayed quiet for so long Selene wondered if she’d spoken the question out loud.
Finally, Dani answered. “That’s a tough one to explain. Each belief system has their own idea of the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Nirvana. And if a group has enough believers, then those places exist in the way they’ve constructed them, but they tend to be loose, because no two people conceive of the exact geography the same way. So Heaven and Hell exist, as does Nirvana, and there are folks overseeing those spaces.” She took a deep breath and shrugged slightly. “But those people who don’t have a big enough group of believers, or whose idea of the afterlife is too fuzzy, well…”
Selene waited, but she seemed to have finished. “Well, what? What happens to them?”
“They meet me, or one of my staff—”
“Wait, your staff? Do you have your own offshoots? Death minions?”
She laughed and seemed to relax. “Yeah, kind of. There are seven billion people on the planet. Hundreds die every hour, all over the world. More, in war torn areas. I could do it myself once upon a time, but there’s no way now. So I’ve got a staff, many of whom work for me from remote offices, all linked via the Internet. We Skype once a month to discuss issues and work out schedules, particularly if there are more wars than usual going on. It works well.” She gestured at the group with her empty beer bottle. “I need another drink. Anyone else?”
All of them nodded and she left to get more.
Jesus said, “I just saw my mom come in, and I haven’t stopped by her place in ages, I’ve been so busy. I’d better go say hi real quick. I’ll be back in a second.”
Alone for the first time since they’d arrived, Selene slumped in her chair, exhausted by the wealth of answers she’d received. Questions humanity had been asking for centuries were suddenly laid before her like nothing more than a paper napkin at a fast food restaurant, and she had no idea what to do with it all. How to process it. She flashed on Mika briefly and wondered what she would think if Selene told her about this whole situation. She’d have me committed. Alec cleared her throat softly and Selene looked up.
“You okay? Do you want to leave? Or talk to other people?”
The care, the genuine concern, in Alec’s voice made Selene feel better. I’m not alone. “It’s just a lot to take in. I can’t really even analyze any of it yet. I guess I’ll have to do that later, once I’ve got all the answers, right?”
Alec took her hand and she marveled at the way it grounded her and made her feel safe.
“There’s no hurry. You can process all of this any way you want to, in whatever amount of time you need. And you’re not alone. Remember that.”
“Tell me what happens to the ones who don’t believe? To atheists, like me.”
Alec ran a hand through her hair. “Nothing. They don’t go anywhere. Dani, or one of her crew, show up to claim them. They take the soul, the essence of any human, from the body. The believers go whatever direction they’re supposed to according to their belief system. The non-believers…their essence turns to a kind of spirit dust, like something you’d take out of a fireplace, and they blow away.”
Selene frowned, considering those options, and the possibility of being nothing more than crap sucked up by some cosmic vacuum. “I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean, I would have been dust anyway, because that’s what I think…thought, would happen. And is that so bad, compared to believing in and moving on to a place like Hell?” She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a need to keep herself together.
“Hey, don’t worry. We can talk all this stuff through. Life is about learning, right?”
Alec gave her a small grin, and Selene laughed softly. She leaned over and rested her head on Alec’s shoulder, the feel of Alec’s arm as it went around her shoulders a brace against the whirlwind of emotions and questions flooding Selene’s mind and body. She murmured, “I need to go to the bathroom. Please don’t tell me there isn’t one because gods don’t pee.”
Alec laughed. “I won’t bore you with the physicality. Yes, there’s a bathroom. Come on. I’ll take you.” Alec stood and took Selene’s hand to lead her through the crowded house.
Whispers and stares followed them, and Selene returned to her question that had now been avoided at least twice. They stopped in front of a bathroom in a quiet corridor, and she grabbed Alec’s forearm. “When I come out, we’re going to talk about why people are reacting to me the way they are. No more avoiding, okay?” She looked into Alec’s beautiful eyes, determined to show her she was serious. “Please?”
Alec searched her face, for what she didn’t know, before she nodded slowly. “Okay. I hear you. But let’s not do it here, okay? Maybe we can head down the coast, grab a drink somewhere by the water?”
Selene looked down the corridor at the mass of people laughing, drinking, and chatting. People seems like a loose term. “If we go, will you promise I’ll have this opportunity again? I want to meet more…people. I want to know so much more.”
Alec made an x over her heart. “I promise. But we can take it slowly, right? No need to dump it all on you in one night.”
Impulsively, Selene pulled Alec into a hug. “Thank you.” She pulled back slightly, unwilling to let go, and with their faces only inches apart, she licked her lips.
Alec groaned and closed the distance between them, holding Selene’s face in her hands as she kissed her deeply, her tongue sliding into Selene’s mouth, sending waves of heat crashing through Selene’s body. Alec leaned Selene against the bathroom door, their bodies pressed together. Selene’s hands slid into the soft, downy feathers of Alec’s wings. She couldn’t see them, but they were most certainly there.
The door popped open under the pressure of their weight and they nearly fell to the floor. Alec pulled away first, grinning. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll find Meg real quick and let her know we’re heading out, and I’ll come right back for you, okay?”
Selene nodded, breathless, unable to form words. She’d never, ever been so physically entranced by someone. All she could think about was getting their clothes off so she could feel Alec’s perfect hands on her body. She wanted to feel Alec’s mouth on her neck, her breasts…lower. I want her everywhere.
She closed the bathroom door behind her and leaned on the sink. If she weren’t wearing makeup she’d splash cold water on her face, but seeing as she didn’t want to look like a crying panda, she had to settle for patting some water on the back of her neck and on her wrists. She took several deep, calming breaths. She wanted answers, and getting into bed with Alec wasn’t going to get her those. At least, not yet.
She peed, washed her hands, and stepped back into the corridor, feeling a bit more able to have a normal, nonsexual discussion. Alec wasn’t there, but she didn’t want to go wandering through the party on her own, so she decided to wait where she was. A light chuckle from behind her startled her, and she spun around. A dark-skinned man wearing a tall, half-red, half-white hat leaned against the wall behind her. His eyes glittered, though with mischief or malice she couldn’t tell. Feeling defensive, she crossed her arms and looked over her shoulder for Alec.
“She’s been caught up talking to her sister, the beautiful Megara. I’m sure she’ll be right back.”
His accent was Egyptian, and
she tried to think of what few Egyptian gods she knew. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met?”
He moved forward, too close for comfort, and held out his hand. “Esh, at your service. I wanted to meet the woman so many are talking about. The savior of the gods.” He bowed, mockingly. “I’m sure your mother will be proud.”
Selene’s stomach turned, his words biting into her fragile emotions. “I think you must have me confused with someone else. When Alec gets back—”
“Ah, I’m sure she will clear things up, of course. But have no doubt, beautiful lady, you are who they say you are. Whether or not you believe it, or are capable of such a feat, well…that remains to be seen. I look forward to hearing your plan to keep us from fading into nothingness, or becoming fruit sellers on PCH, whichever the case may be.”
He stepped even closer, and she could smell his nauseating, cloying cologne mixed with a smell that made her think of rotting vegetables. She tried not to gag and stepped back, but stopped when he grabbed her wrist in a cruel grip.
“You’re supposed to save us, but you don’t believe. An unbeliever, someone who disrespects us, and everything we stand for. A woman, a Halfling, a nothing.” He abruptly let go of her wrist and stepped back. “You will fail. If it is our destiny to fade, so be it. I personally will not be held hostage to a human’s intelligence.” He turned and walked back into the dark of the corridor. Before he disappeared completely, he looked at her over his shoulder and gave her a malicious smile. “Say hello to your mother when you see her. She’s the same in every belief system, and she is truly magnificent. It’s a shame you’re such a pale comparison.”
