by Brey Willows
The panic receded and she nodded. “I’d like that.” Selene stood, and her shirt fell in pieces around her. She crossed her arms over her chest, mortified.
Alec blushed. “Sorry about that. I have an idea, though.” She wrapped her wing around Selene and cloaked them in her magic. When they arrived in the T-shirt seller’s shop, the only one open this early in winter, she only dropped her cloak when Selene had pulled on an “I love Venice” sweatshirt. The proprietor screeched slightly when they suddenly appeared.
On the walk back to the Hummer, Alec took her hand, and Selene felt tears threaten. She’d always wanted to be with someone who was proud to be seen with her, someone who wanted to touch her whenever, wherever. While she wouldn’t expect that level of anything from Alec, it was nice, just in that moment, to feel wanted.
They stopped at the 18th Street Coffee House, neither of them talking. Selene wasn’t sure what was going through Alec’s mind, but she knew she didn’t want to talk yet and risk breaking the spell from the night before. Magic wasn’t supposed to exist, and yet, magical was exactly what it felt like.
They sat at the outside patio, the morning sun promising a good day.
Alec took Selene’s hand. “Want to start?”
Selene sighed. “I suppose. I just…where to begin?” She sipped her coffee for a few minutes, Alec allowing her the space to think. “Alec, does my mother work at Afterlife?”
“No. She’s too free for that. She’s not a big fan of walls.”
“You know her? I mean, how well?” The possibility that Alec knew her mother made the panic flare up again.
“Yes. I know…knew…your mother well. Never romantically, if that’s your concern.” Alec squeezed Selene’s hand. “We were incredibly close for a while, and have been off and on through the centuries. But when the industrial revolution hit, the buzzing and constant humming of machines and wires made her crazy, so she decided to make herself scarce. We’re not always sure where she is.”
Selene processed that. The idea that gods, omnipotent beings, might be bothered by innovations over the centuries, would never have occurred to her. The moon, a lump of rock without its own light, surely wouldn’t be bothered by anything. But a representative of it…someone tied to the tides, gravity, storms…yes, she could see how someone like that might be bothered.
“Could you find her, do you think?”
Alec appeared to consider the question seriously. “It might take me a bit of time.”
Suddenly, it felt like the most important thing in the world. To know her mother. To know why she’d given her up. To know who her father was…all the questions about fate, oracles, and religion paled in comparison to the promise of a possible family. “Can you start looking today?”
Alec nodded. “I can. Do you want to come to the office with me and hang around? Or do you want to go home and have some quiet time to think?”
Selene felt the sand in her jeans and knew her hair must be a frizzy mess. The sweatshirt wasn’t exactly her style either, though it was surprisingly comfortable. “Home sounds good. But you can drop me at the train station, if that’s okay? I like the quiet time on a train. And my car is still at the park and ride.”
“No problem.”
They went to the car and drove the few miles to the station in silence. Once there, Alec turned to Selene. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For not running. For last night. Selene, I won’t say I haven’t been with plenty of women. I mean, that would be ludicrous, given my age. But last night…that was special. I don’t know if you felt it too, but…well. I just wanted you to know.” She got out and opened Selene’s door for her. She pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’ll call you as soon as I know anything, okay? And if you want to talk, or want me to come to you, all you have to do is call, and I’ll be there. I promise. And if anything feels off, or strange, just shout. If someone or something makes you think of those other creatures, call me right away.”
Selene looked into Alec’s eyes and saw something she thought only existed in fairy tales. True, genuine emotion. Promise. Care. A lump formed in her throat, and she kissed Alec’s cheek softly.
“Thank you for wanting me. Call me later, even if you don’t know anything?”
“You got it.”
The train pulled up and Selene reluctantly let go of Alec and stepped on board. Alec scanned the train, frowning, but turned back and waved with a smile.
“All clear.” She mouthed it, and the look in her eyes was one of concern and care.
Selene placed her hand to the window as the train pulled away, feeling strangely bereft at leaving her behind, even though it was temporary. Is it, though? She didn’t know what the rules or guidelines were in this new world. What if one day, it all just…disappeared?
She closed her eyes and concentrated on Alec’s promise. She’d said they’d do it together, whatever “it” was. Now Selene just had to decide if she was willing to take the leap.
Chapter Twenty
Glass shattered into hundreds of splintered pieces, like rainbow diamonds raining down in the sunlight.
“Who does he think he is? What the Hades does he think he’s doing? Of all the stupid, childish, rash things to do, he has to go and nearly ruin everything?”
Zed and Ama stood against a side wall, well out of Alec’s target range. She threw another glass, needing the release she felt when it exploded.
“Alec, Eshnu is the god of mischief. Frankly, it’s amazing Loki, or even one of our own, didn’t already try something like this. He can’t help it any more than you can help having wings.”
She spun to face Zed. “Bullshit. I call bullshit on that. You know why? He could have chosen to not speak. He could have decided not to go to the party. He could have gone somewhere, anywhere else. Instead, he waited for his chance, the fucking few minutes I left her alone—to pee, for fuck’s sake—and then he made his move. It was calculated, and it was stupid. What if she’d been seriously pissed off? What if I hadn’t been able to talk to her?” She hissed through her fangs. “I should rip out his tongue and feed it to him. Teach him not to say shit without considering the consequences.”
“Alec, please stop giving me a new glass carpet and calm down.”
She glared at him but set the glass she’d picked up back down and ran her hands through her hair. “Well, what now?”
Zed and Ama moved away from the wall. Ama went to Alec and enfolded her in a strong hug. “I know the stress you’re under. But hold it together, okay?”
Alec felt some of the stress leave her shoulders. A benefit of having goddess friends was they often had soothing, healing touches. When they weren’t angry, anyway. Then it was a different matter. “Thank you.” She kissed Ama on the cheek, retracted her fangs, sheathed her wings, and sat down.
Zed sat across from her, Ama on his right. Alec noted the way Ama gently touched his hand. She was glad they’d found each other, even if it didn’t last. Monogamy wasn’t really an option when you lived forever, but you could certainly spend a good amount of time with someone before one or the other got bored and moved on.
“Alec, as much as I hate to say it, go back to the oracle. It says it’s Selene, and it says it’s you. That means no matter what happens, you’ll be able to talk to her. This is her path.”
“That’s the thing about this oracle, though, Zed. Unlike ever before, there are two possible outcomes. We succeed, or we fail. Usually, there’s an element of no matter what you do, you’re fucked. But this time they’re not sure. The Fates aren’t sure, Zed. That means nothing is completely certain, except that Selene is caught up in this whole crazy mess.”
Ama gave her a searching look. “Alec, last night, it looked like you were quite close. Closer than friends. Are you losing your objectivity?”
Alec started to give a sarcastic retort, but reined herself in and forced herself to consider the question. The truth was undeniable.
“Yes. I am. We slept tog
ether last night, and I’m feeling…things. Things I’m not analyzing right now. But you know what? It doesn’t matter, does it? Because the oracle says it has to be the two of us. And if it goes down in flames, well, I’ll deal with it then.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Zed said, “Fine. I suppose you being emotionally invested can’t hurt. Or maybe it can. You’ve been chosen, and we have to trust in that.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
He waved away her words like gnats. “She wants to see her mother?”
“Yeah, and frankly, I don’t blame her. Tell a mortal, who was raised in foster care, that she not only has a mother, but her mother is a goddess, and it seems pretty logical that she’s going to want to meet her. The question is, do we know where Chandra is?”
Ama pulled up a page on her laptop. “The last address I have for her is Milwaukee, but I heard at a party a few weeks ago someone had run into her in the Alban Hills.”
“Excellent. Milwaukee or Italy. Do we have anyone in those areas who can run quick checks?”
Ama started typing rapidly, her brow furrowed in concentration.
“What’s your next step, Alec? After you take Selene to meet her mother, assuming Chandra is available and willing to talk. What are you going to do after that?”
“I don’t know.” And truthfully, she didn’t. For the first time in her existence, she had no idea at all what the next step was. “It looks like I have to just go with it in order to see what’s coming down the road. Like each step is necessary to understand the next one. I hate it, but that seems to be the way. Unless the oracle has changed, and it’s given us some more information? Have the Fates sent down any more we can work with? Like what, exactly, Selene is supposed to do to help us? Or what I’m supposed to do in the scheme of things?”
Zed opened the ever-present folder and scanned it. “Nope. Same as it’s always been.”
Alec sighed. “You know, at some point Selene is going to ask to see it. The real thing. She believes far more in what she can see than in something she’s simply asked to believe.”
He shrugged. “I don’t see why she can’t read it. It’s not like we’re divulging secrets. And maybe it will serve to convince her of our need.”
Ama’s computer pinged and she scanned the message. “Our operative in Milwaukee says Chandra hasn’t been there in about six months. Italy is nine hours ahead of us, so we’ll have to wait until our person there is awake.”
“Awake? Are they a pre-fader?” Alec asked, referring to those who had been about to fade, and so had taken jobs in the real world instead.
“Yes. One of the lesser Roman gods, he’s a curator at a museum now.” Ama closed her laptop and looked at Alec. “So, since we’ve got a few hours to wait, why don’t you go home? Shower, relax for a while. Hell, maybe even sleep. Take some time for yourself. I promise I’ll call you the moment I hear anything.”
Alec considered her options. Selene needed some time on her own to think, so going to her was out of the question. Hanging around the office was just going to agitate her, since there was little she could do. She focused on Selene’s energy and knew she was still on the train, and she was calm, maybe even asleep. She had a thought. “Hey, Ama, if we do head to Italy, do you think you could see where Tis is? If she’s anywhere in the vicinity, maybe she could meet us there?” Alec’s worry about Tis’s state of mind hadn’t abated at all, and it would be good to check on her if possible.
Ama made herself a note. “I’ll look into it. I think she was farther east than that, but I’ll see. I think Meg is home, if you wanted to go hang out with her?”
Alec shook her head. “No, you’re right. I could use a break.” She turned to Zed, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet. “Do me a favor? Have a talk with Osiris about Esh. I know it won’t do much good, but he shouldn’t be allowed to walk away from this without a sanction of some kind.” Sanctioning a god had become the only way to deal with unruly gods in a business where they all had to play nicely together, and it usually involved some form of taking away a power or right, which only their own higher god could do.
“I’ll do it the moment you leave. Your job is hard enough; we don’t need people messing things up.” He stared out the window thoughtfully. “Although, if we look at the oracle, his interference might be what leads you to the next step in the puzzle. Perhaps it was meant to be as well.”
Alec felt a headache coming on. She hated being so powerless. “Whatever. So long as he doesn’t do it again. Oh, and I’ve put in an inquiry with the researchers about someone Selene described to me. If anything comes back, I want to know right away. I’m going home.”
Alec left in the Hummer. She’d considered flying home, had wanted to open her wings and feel the freedom of the air rather than the pull of gravity on her feet. But she was too tired even for that. It was an exhaustion of the soul, and she felt the enormity of the situation, the complexity of emotions, settle inside her like leaden scales. Tilted one way or the other, her life would change. And where did that leave Selene?
She headed home, ready for her dark room and soft pillow. There was only so much she could do in a day, but knowing the days could be numbered, time was a shackle around her ankle. She thought about Selene lying curled in her arms on the beach, and sighed. She’d love to have her there now. She hadn’t realized just how lonely she’d been, but Selene’s presence in her life made it markedly more interesting, and when they weren’t together, she craved her company.
What does it all mean? And why does every damn thing have to mean something?
She shed her clothes as she walked through her apartment and fell into bed. Exhausted, she fell asleep with images of Selene’s body arched in orgasm dancing before her.
Chapter Twenty-one
The train car was nearly empty. Selene hadn’t seen the other passenger get on two stops after hers, but when he had, she’d felt that strange nervousness again. Like she’d felt on the train before, and when she’d been followed onto the freeway. He got on and took a seat in the next row, several seats down, but facing her. She glanced at him and looked away, but she could feel his eyes on her, and when she looked again, he was staring at her intently. She looked to the sides of him and saw it—the same strange fuzziness she saw around Alec and the Hummer.
He’s not human.
The thought sent cold chills through her and she started trying to figure out her options. How many times have I been so close to one and not known? No one Alec had introduced her to had been malevolent, but the things that had followed her on the freeway hadn’t been part of Cupid’s entourage. Alec had said she was looking into it, but with everything else going on, they hadn’t gotten around to talking about it any further. The moment they got together, it was like everything else ceased to matter. But the guy staring holes into her didn’t look like he wanted to talk about cheesecake recipes. There was something wrong with his eyes…but from where she sat, she couldn’t quite make out what it was.
She couldn’t breathe properly. She slid her cell phone from her bag, ready to punch in Alec’s number. She wished to hell she’d had Alec drive her home in her winged vengeance machine.
Battery low flashed in red across her screen. And then it went black.
Shit shit shit. She might only have one chance to call, and she’d need to do it fast. She knew, without understanding why, the creature on the train was there for her.
She pressed herself against her seat when the creature got up and started to move toward her, flashing sharp yellow teeth in a grisly smile.
Whoosh.
The door between the cars slid open, and the conductor stepped in just as they pulled to a stop at another station. “Well, hey there, stranger. It’s been ages. How’s things?”
Selene thought she might very well wet herself, she was so relieved to have Mark there. He sat down in the chair opposite her, his legs stretched out and his big hands over his protruding belly. The crea
ture moved back toward the far door, and with a soft hiss, slid it open and left the car.
“Mark, did you see that man, just now? The one who just left?”
He looked around the empty car, puzzled. “I didn’t see anyone. You sure you weren’t sleeping or something?”
She bit her lip and sat on her hands to keep them from trembling. “Yeah, I must have been. Sorry. Things are great. How are things with you?”
He started talking about his newest interest in meditative psychology and spiritualism, and she only half listened, constantly watching the door to see if the creature reappeared. When Mark said a name that caught her attention, she focused on what he was saying.
“I mean, he makes a lot of sense, you know? But even if he makes all kinds of sense, if you don’t have faith, if you don’t have anything to believe in, then what is there? I don’t know about you, but believing in my fellow human beings doesn’t seem like the greatest answer.”
“You’re talking about Frey Falconi, right? Where did you come across him, again?”
“Boy, you sure are distracted today. You feeling okay? You look kind of pale. Want me to go grab you some water?” He rose to leave and she held up her hand.
“No! Please, don’t go. Tell me more. I’m okay, really.”
He looked dubious but stretched out again and kept talking. “I was listening to one of those talk radio stations, and he was the guest speaker. He sounded all right, like a nice guy, good sense of humor. I’ve always thought there had to be more to life, something out there afterward, you know? But man, I couldn’t stop listening. It was like being hypnotized, and I started to think, yeah…you know, maybe this amazing planet really is enough. I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready to give up my faith, but he’s given me a lot to think about.”
Selene thought about it. Alec had said belief gave people hope, beyond what their daily lives offered them. Frey believed they’d be better stripped of the mythologies and focused on the here and now. Who was right?
