by Zizi Cole
“I was meditating,” I explained. “I was trying to relax. Everything has been so stressful lately, I felt I needed it. Why are you back so soon?”
Jake shrugged and joined me on the swing. “I was worried about you. I also had a feeling that you needed me.”
I smiled at him and touched his face. I didn’t actually need him there at the moment, but I did want him here. I always wanted him here. I just wished that I could have him with me all the time, even in my dreams, so maybe the nightmares would stay at bay. I knew that wasn’t possible, so this was the next best thing.
I leaned toward him and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you. I promise that I’m fine, but thank you for caring.”
He smiled. “You’re welcome. You know I will always care about you. So, what were you meditating about? It didn’t look like a simple ‘trying to relax’ moment, Lex.”
I knew it was time to completely trust him. I had given him my heart years ago, and now I needed to bare my soul. “I’m looking for a book. My mother told me to find it. She doesn’t remember what she did with it, but she says it’s important for me to find it. She said that Mia and I would need it.”
“What kind of book are you looking for?”
“I don’t know. She didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I guess I’m looking for the family “Book of Shadows” type book. I know it’s cliché, but that’s the only book I can think of that my mother would say we need. She didn’t describe it or anything.”
“So you were mediating to find a book?” he asked, clearly confused.
I shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly meditating. I was trying to expand my subconscious to see if I could... I don’t know. Feel the book, for lack of a better word. I was trying to strengthen family connections, but I think I need Mia and possibly Aunt Christina to do so.”
“Have you tried physically looking for it?” he asked. He wasn’t being condescending, he was just being practical.
I felt a little sheepish. “Not yet. I know that my mother wouldn’t have left it where it would be easily accessible.”
“It’s okay, darlin’. We’ll find it.” He studied me for a moment. “How are your hands and neck?”
I held out my hands so he could see that the blisters were already disappearing. I moved my hair off of the back of my neck. He moved closer to examine it. I could feel his breath on my neck and it gave me chills. I wasn’t sure what my neck looked like, but it seemed like he was examining it closely. I kind of enjoyed the way his breath on my neck was making me feel. I had knots of anticipation in my stomach. I wished he would touch me.
“Well? How does it look?” I asked in a breathy voice.
Jake sighed and moved back away from me. “Looks like a brand. I’m fairly confident that the brand is a sigil, but I am not sure what the sigil is for. Based on the symbols, it appears to be a demon’s brand. I’m not too familiar with the sigil myself, but I’m going to send a picture of it to someone who knows more about it. I promise you we will figure this out and we’ll get that evil mark off of you.”
“Jake, what is a sigil?” I asked, wearily.
“It’s a symbol that’s used to summon a demon. The only reason I can think of that the sigil would be placed on your skin, is if whoever is doing this is working with the demon or made a deal with the demon to help obtain their goals,” Jake explained quietly. He slid an arm around my shoulders and gave me a comforting hug.
I ran my fingers through my hair. I was sure that he would keep that promise. I just hoped that he would figure it out in time.
***
Cole had shown up at the house an hour before Mia did and was sitting there waiting for her to get back. It was obvious by the way he watched the clock and pretended he wasn’t. I found it endearing. If he was around after this, maybe we could all be friends. That would be awesome. Then I had an idea.
“Cole, why do you annoy Mia so much?” I asked him.
He glanced at me, then at the clock, and then back at me. He shrugged, then smiled. “Because it’s fun. She’s hilarious when she gets riled up.”
He just liked getting a rise out of her? “Okay. Why are you watching for her?”
“I’m not,” he denied.
“Okay, but if you don’t want her thinking you’re waiting for her, you might want to get busy because she’s coming down the drive,” I smirked as he opened his laptop and started trying to look busy.
Mia walked in the door and looked at both of us. I was just sitting there grinning at her. She cocked an eyebrow at me. She knew something was up.
“What’s up?” she asked, setting her stuff on the counter by the door.
“Oh, nothing. I was just waiting for you to get back. I’m bored. Jake took off a while ago and Mr. Stuffy-pants over there is BO-RING. I couldn’t even leave the kitchen without him looking over my shoulder,” I told her, pouting.
“That doesn’t surprise me. He was up my ass the whole fucking day at the diner,” she told me.
She reached into her purse and pulled out a medium sized paper bag. The bag had no symbols or anything to indicate where she’d gotten it from. She handed the bag to me and I pulled the dream catcher out of it. It was beautiful. It was made with different colored leather and beads. The beads were a variety of colors, but there was more purple than any other color. The dream catcher was absolutely stunning. I could feel its power thrumming through my hands. The power that coursed through the dream catcher was more powerful than I had ever imagined. I had never thought that dream catchers had power, but this one definitely did. I looked at Mia.
“It’s absolutely beautiful. And, wow, I have never felt power like this. Why so much purple though?” I ran my fingers gently over the purple beads.
Mia nodded. “I know, I could feel it through the paper bag. I tried not to touch it too much. Now, you need to go and hang it above your bed. Hopefully it will keep the nightmares at bay and protect you while you sleep. The purple beads represent spirit and inner self, which is where the nightmares seem to be coming from. The shaman couldn’t guarantee it would completely get rid of the nightmares, but it should deter whoever’s doing it.”
I nodded. This could really work. “Okay, I’ll go hang it up now.”
17
I woke up to the sound of a heartbeat. It was loud, echoing throughout the room. I sat up in bed and looked around. I didn’t see the heart, but I could still hear it. I climbed out of bed. I still wasn’t seeing anything. I walked out into the hallway and the heartbeat grew louder. I followed the sound down the hall to the room Jake was sleeping in. I opened the door. It was pitch black in the room and I couldn’t make out any shapes. I stuck my arm in the room reaching for the light switch. I couldn’t find it. I stepped into the room, closed my eyes, counted to ten, and opened them again. I could barely make out the bed. I walked towards it but couldn’t even see Jake’s outline.
I looked to where the window was, and it was completely dark. That explained the darkness; the curtains were closed. I walked over and opened them. The light of the moon poured into the room. I could see Jake’s silhouette in the bed. The heartbeat was so loud now that it was hurting my ears. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. I was scared to reach out to him. I looked around to see if my mother was there to give me the advice that I desperately needed. Of course, she wasn’t.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew that she had given me the advice that I needed from the beginning. She was constantly telling me to trust my heart. And if I heard the heartbeat in this room with him, then he had to be the key, right? I reached out to him. My hands were trembling so badly that it took me two tries before I was able to grab the edge of the blanket and pull it down a little. I then put my hand on his shoulder and shook his him slightly.
“Jake, wake up,” I whispered next to his ear.
Jake started to move around and sat up. He looked around the room before his eyes settled on me. His eyes widened for a moment. Then he masked his expression
so I couldn’t read him. His initial reaction was shock. Why was he shocked?
“What?” I asked him.
He smiled. “I should be asking you that. Especially since you’re in my room, naked.”
I looked down. What the hell? I had been wearing a tank top and yoga pants when I walked into the room. I looked back at Jake and smiled. What the hell, I might as well go with it.
“It’s the newest fashion, you know,” I explained.
He chuckled. “Well, we must’ve both received the memo since I sleep that way every night.”
“Oh.” I shifted, slightly uncomfortable. I was so glad this was a dream and he would never know what happened.
“What is that noise?” Jake asked, looking around the room.
“A heart,” I told him. “I just can’t find where it’s coming from. This is usually the point where I am being chased around by a psycho murderer, so I don’t know.”
How did I know that? I’d never acknowledged I was dreaming before. It always seemed so real when I was in the moment. I figured that it was because I wasn’t alone in this dream. There was another person in it with me, so my subconscious alerted me to the fact that I was dreaming. I looked at Jake again. He was looking around the room. I reached out and took his hand. He looked at me, then and his eyes softened.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked him quietly.
“Anything,” he said.
“I still love you. I always have, always will. You are my soulmate. You are my heart. I don’t know what I would do without you,” I whispered.
He pulled me to him, helping me under the covers. He hugged me tightly and kissed me on the lips. He just sat there and held me tightly. I snuggled into his arms. I loved feeling our skin touching like it was.
“I love you, too,” he whispered into my hair. “I never gave up on you coming back to me, darlin’. I just want you to know that. I haven’t been in a serious relationship since high school. I couldn’t. I kept seeing your face.”
I put my head on his chest as we lay in bed talking. I realized that the heartbeat in the room was in sync with his heartbeat. That was odd. I put my hand to my chest to feel my heart. It was also beating in sync with the heartbeat in the room.
I was just starting to relax in his arms when I heard faint footsteps. I sat up quickly and looked around. He didn’t seem to notice it. He pulled me back so that I was lying against his chest. I tried to relax a few moments later when I didn’t hear the footsteps anymore.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I opened them up again, I saw the shadow by the bed. I jumped.
“Jake, did you see that?” I asked him.
“What? I didn’t see anything, Lex,” he said.
“We need to move, trust me,” I said, starting to get out of bed.
The shadow took the opportunity and suddenly attacked. I saw the knife just in time for it to slide through Jake’s heart. I screamed and reached for the knife. Searing pain went through my chest to my heart. That’s when I noticed the room had gone completely silent. The heartbeat has stopped.
I looked into Jake’s eyes. The light behind them was fading fast. He put a hand to my cheek and tried to talk.
“No, Jake. Don’t talk,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “It will be okay. You’re fine. We just have to call an ambulance. You’re going to be just fine.”
“I love. You.” Jake murmured, his voice getting weaker. He was having trouble breathing.
“I love you,” I said. I was panicking. “You are going to be okay, you can’t leave me.”
“Never-,” he said, taking one last breath, then went still.
“No!” I cried. I held him as I sobbed. My heart was shattered. My soul was ripped apart and dead.
The figure stood beside the bed watching. Then he did something I had never seen him do before. He spoke.
“Soon.”
“No!” I screamed, sitting straight up in bed.
I looked around the room and everything was blurry. My face was wet. I wiped my face and realized there were tears. I was crying in my sleep. I jumped out of bed and rushed out of the room. I ran down the hallway and burst into the room that Jake was sleeping in.
I stopped at the side of the bed. I couldn’t hear his breathing. I looked around the room and it looked exactly as it did in my dream, only brighter. I reached down and touched his shoulder. He sat up, wide awake and alert. He had his gun in his hand and it was aimed at my chest. I held my hands up so he could see I was unarmed.
“Jake, it’s me. Alexandrea,” I told him slowly.
He lowered the gun and put it back under his pillow. He rubbed his hands over his face, then looked at me again.
“You okay, Lex?” he asked.
I shook my head no. I really wasn’t okay. I stood there looking at him. Would I be okay if anything actually happened to him? No, I would not be okay. That was one thing I knew for certain. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure what I needed to do next. Should I leave, or get into the bed with him?
“Sit down, and tell me about it,” Jake said, scooting over and giving me room to get into bed with him if I wanted to.
I took him up on it. I crawled into the bed and sat right next to him. I could feel his leg pressed against mine. He felt warm and safe. I stared at the wall at the foot of the bed. I needed to just tell him about the dream. I looked at him again. He seemed off. Like something was on his mind.
“I had a nightmare,” I told him.
He nodded. I knew he would figure that one out on his own. He put an arm across my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.
“Tell me about it,” he said softly.
I did. I told him the whole dream. As I was telling him, he stiffened. It felt like he was even holding his breath. Why was he acting so strangely?
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “Nothing, darlin’. Just listening.”
For some reason, I didn’t think he was being completely honest with me. I wasn’t going to pressure him tonight. I just wanted to know we were both safe and together, at least for one night. I looked up at him. I put my fingertips on his chin and turned his face so he was facing me. He looked down at me and smiled. I kissed him, trying to tell him how I felt with my body, not just my words. Sometimes words weren’t enough. And sometimes, like now, I was too scared to use words to tell him how I felt about him.
I broke the kiss and whispered against his lips, “Can I stay with you tonight?”
“Always,” he whispered back.
I cuddled up against him and closed my eyes. As I was drifting off to sleep, I thought I heard Jake murmur something under his breath as he kissed me on the forehead. I was too tired to ask him what he said, so I just relaxed in his safe arms and fell into a deep sleep.
***
Could we have really had the same dream? Lex described it exactly as I had seen it. Was that how all her dreams were? I couldn’t believe that we’d had the same dream. I hadn’t expected anything like that to happen. I knew she had certain abilities, but dream sharing wasn’t one I thought she had.
After seeing that dream from my perspective, I could understand why Alexandrea was always distancing herself from everyone. It was awful seeing her watch me die. There was nothing I could do about it. She seemed aware that it was a dream, but at the same time she seemed to realize it had been different.
I rubbed my chest where the knife had entered in the dream. There was a dull ache and the area was tender. I wasn’t sure how it could hurt like it did, when it was just a dream. I figured I felt it since somehow I had been connected to the dream as well. I glanced down at my chest and saw the darkening of a bruise above my heart.
I held on to Lex a little tighter. There was no way I was going to let her go or lose her to this monster. I was going to find out who was torturing her and I was going to make him suffer. I wasn’t as kind and gentle as she thought I was. I had a dark side to me. That was what the agency liked
about me. When she had left and shattered my heart, I felt something shift and knew it would never be the same. It wasn’t until I had killed my first demon that I knew I needed something like that to keep me fulfilled. It took the pain of her not loving me away, even if it was just for a few moments.
I kissed the top of her forehead. There were things that I had done since she left that she could never find out. Things I wasn’t entirely proud of. I was certain that if she knew, she would look at me differently. I also knew that she thought I hadn’t changed at all over the years. I felt like a stranger in my own skin at times. The only time I felt like myself was when I was with her. Then I could pretend I was just a small town boy, living a small town life.
I sighed. That dream had shaken me. It had felt like more than a dream. The only good thing that had come out of that dream was that Lex finally admitted how she felt about me. She had admitted that she loved me, even if it was only in a dream. I couldn’t tell her I had the same dream because she would be embarrassed.
I tried to readjust and get comfortable, but I had trouble sleeping with Lex beside me. Hearing her moan and breathe deeply in her sleep stirred things inside me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Feeling her gentle breath sliding across my chest was causing an ache deep inside of me. A part of me wanted to wake her up and have my way with her, but the other part of me wanted to make sure she would be safe all night long. Both sides of me knew what I was so vehemently trying to avoid. She was mine. Always had been, always would be.
I knew that I had to get my feelings and urges under control before she woke up; before we had a very embarrassing moment in the morning. Right as I was starting to get my urges under control, she shifted, rubbing her leg all the way up mine. She slid one leg over mine so it was laying between my legs. I groaned. This was going to be a long night.
