He deliberately held her gaze before lowering his head, and the feel of his mouth on her breast caused her to cry out as his tongue lapped the sensitive peak and a shaft of pleasure unfurled in the pit of her stomach.
‘Tell me you want me as much as I want you.’ Alex’s voice grazed her skin as his mouth trailed a fiery path to her navel. ‘I want to know that it’s me you’re thinking of when we make love, not your husband. You don’t have to stay tied to a man who hurts you,’ he went on inexorably, ignoring the panic in her eyes as reality intruded. ‘There’s no unbreakable bond between you.’
Now was the time to tell him that she was no longer married, that she was a free agent, Jenna accepted. She wanted him with an emotion akin to desperation, with a hunger she had never experienced before, certainly not with Lee—but if she admitted that fact where would it leave her? At best all Alex wanted was a brief affair, and when it was over would he expect her to leave her job, or would she be like Katrin Jefferstone, unable to hide her feelings for him and an object of pity?
She had too much pride for that, Jenna acknowledged, and there was too much else at stake. Where would Maisie fit into the equation if she embarked on a relationship with Alex? And how much more leverage would it give Lee if he decided to fight for custody of their daughter?
‘There is a bond between us that will last a lifetime,’ she whispered, desire retreating and leaving in its wake emptiness and shame. She was linked to Lee inextricably—not through love, but through Maisie, the daughter Alex knew nothing about.
Alex rolled onto his side and she shivered at the coldness in his eyes. ‘In that case what the hell are you playing at by inviting me into your bed? If you were hoping to snag a wealthy lover as well as your husband, think again. Chris might be willing to share, but I’m damn well not.’
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled on his trousers with jerky, economical movements that betrayed his bitterness, the contempt in his eyes crucifying her as his gaze roamed her body in insolent appraisal.
‘I didn’t invite you,’ Jenna defended herself. ‘You came into my room. You started this.’
‘It was hardly against your will,’ Alex snapped scathingly. ‘You made your enthusiasm abundantly clear. But I at least retain some morals, and I’m afraid I must turn down what’s all too clearly on offer.’
With infuriating calm he eased her bra back into place, and even then, knowing how much he despised her, she was unable to disguise her shiver as his fingers brushed against her breast.
‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ he taunted as he crossed the room, and Jenna shot after him, slamming the interconnecting door after him and bolting it as if barricading herself from all the demons in hell.
CHAPTER SIX
ON THEIR return flight to England Alex was aloof to the point of totally ignoring her, and Jenna quailed beneath his icy disdain on the few occasions he deemed it necessary to speak to her.
He was in court for the rest of the week, and she did not dare enquire on the outcome of Sebastian Vaughn’s case—although she later learned from Margaret that Seb had escaped a criminal record and been bound over to keep the peace.
The stand-off carried into the following week, and Alex’s coldness towards her and his biting sarcasm was not going unnoticed by the other staff.
‘Heaven knows what you’ve done to upset Alex,’ Katrin snapped as she swept past Jenna’s desk. ‘I’ve never known him in such a foul mood.’
‘Why assume that his mood has anything to do with me?’ Jenna argued stubbornly, refusing to be browbeaten. Alex’s scathing tongue was enough to contend with; she certainly didn’t need Katrin getting in on the act.
‘Because he’s been like it ever since the two of you returned from Paris. I hope you didn’t embarrass him. The Vaughns are a very high-profile family.’
By the end of that week Jenna was ready to call it a day. There had to be other jobs, she argued as she spilled out of the overcrowded tube train at London Bridge and headed towards the Morrell and Partners offices. The atmosphere at work was truly awful, and Alex’s bad temper was affecting everyone. For the sake of the other members of staff as well as her own sanity she would have to leave—and right now. Pole dancing in a sleazy nightclub seemed preferable to suffering another day of Alex’s vicious tongue.
There was an air of fevered speculation in the offices, and Jenna could not hide her curiosity as she reached her desk. ‘Has something happened?’ she asked one of the juniors.
‘You mean you haven’t heard? Alex is getting married to Selina Carter-Lloyd; their engagement was announced in the papers this morning.’
For a moment the floor rocked beneath her feet, and she actually gripped the edge of her desk, fighting for composure. ‘Well, that is news,’ she said quietly. ‘Totally out of the blue.’
‘I know—it’s amazing, isn’t it? Alex is such a dark horse. Not even Margaret knew until this morning,’ the junior confided excitedly. ‘Do you think that’s the reason he’s been in such a bad mood recently? Maybe he and Miss Carter-Lloyd had an argument, but they’ve obviously made up now. It’s so romantic. He’s coming along the corridor now. I’m going to congratulate him.’
Jenna took advantage of the younger girl’s excitement to escape to the cloakroom, where she forced herself to comb her hair and check her make-up with fingers that trembled.
Katrin stepped out of one of the cubicles, her face so pale that her scarlet lipstick cut a vivid slash across her face, her eyes hollow with misery. In the midst of her own shock Jenna felt a wave of sympathy for the other woman, and she put a hand on Katrin’s arm.
‘Katrin, I’m sorry.’
‘For what?’ Katrin surveyed her with haughty disdain, her lip curling. ‘Do you think I care? It’s you I feel sorry for. Do you think I hadn’t noticed your pathetic crush on Alex? The way you sit mooning over him like some love-sick teenager? He’s out of your reach now, that’s for sure.’
It was sheer dogged pride that saw Jenna walk into Alex’s office and congratulate him on his engagement in a cool, uninterested tone. But for a man in love he didn’t look very happy, she noted when he turned away from the window to survey her with cold blue eyes, his expression unfathomable.
‘You and Selina must be busy making arrangements,’ she murmured. ‘When is the wedding?’
‘In the spring. We haven’t set a date yet,’ came the brusque reply. ‘We’ve put the planning on hold for a few weeks. As you know, Selina is a sports journalist with a magazine. She’s flying to Durban next week, to cover a series of polo matches, and I want her to honour her commitment. It’ll give her a chance to decide whether marrying me is really what she wants to do.’
He couldn’t admit that he had insisted on Selina going to South Africa, or that he needed the reprieve while he came to terms with an engagement that he had regretted the minute the words had left his mouth. He was thirty-eight, he reminded himself. It was high time he settled down and produced the grandchildren his parents so hoped for. Marriage to Selina was the sensible option. He couldn’t pretend that he was madly in love with her, but he liked her, and a marriage built on a foundation of respect and mutual goals was infinitely more desirable than one that involved messy emotions.
He suspected that Jenna’s marriage was far from happy, yet for reasons he couldn’t fathom she insisted that she had made a lifetime commitment to her husband. In a climate of increasing divorce statistics he supposed he should applaud her loyalty but as he stared at her he recalled the bruise on her face and fought an overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and tell her that he would take care of her.
She didn’t want his protection, he reminded himself. She desired him—even now she was unable to disguise the flare of hunger in her eyes before her lashes swept down to conceal her emotions—but she didn’t want him with any degree of permanency in her life, and he was past the age of happily settling for a role as her stud.
‘I’m sure Selina is already convin
ced that she wants to marry you,’ Jenna said quietly, taken aback by the hint of uncertainty in Alex’s voice. ‘But you’re right. Marriage is a huge step.’
‘You’re the expert, so you should know.’
Across the office his eyes burned into hers, and she trembled at the unspoken message in those deep blue depths. He moved to stand in front of her, so close it would take one tiny step to reach the sanctuary of his arms, and she was tempted, so tempted that every fibre of her being yearned to close the gap between them. The air thrummed with tension, the silence so intense she could hear the pounding of her heart.
‘It’s not too late,’ he offered huskily, his eyes never leaving hers, and she bit down hard on her lip, tasted blood as she waged an inner battle.
Go to him, hope he would accept Maisie, and in doing so wreck his engagement to the woman who would make him an ideal wife? Or walk away from what was never going to be anything more than a temporary affair, where she stood to lose her self-respect, her job, and possibly her child?
She loved him, she acknowledged painfully. This wasn’t just about desire or sex. Somewhere along the line she had fallen in love with Alex, with his wit, his charm, his strength, and above all his sense of honour.
But Alex used his formidable skill in the courtroom to champion the underdog. He believed that marriage should be a lifelong commitment, particularly if children were involved, yet if Lee had his way she was going to be embroiled in a bitter custody battle for Maisie. Where would Alex’s sympathies lie? she wondered. Any sort of relationship with her would necessitate a relationship with her daughter, because the two of them came as a package, yet Alex did not even know of Maisie’s existence. It would be better for all of them if he never knew, if he went ahead with his marriage to Selina, whom he presumably loved, and forgot this fierce attraction that burned between them. In a matter of weeks, months at the most, it would have burned itself out; it would be better for all of them if they never lit the fuse.
‘We met at the wrong time, Alex; it’s too late for both of us. You have a wonderful future ahead of you. Selina will make you an ideal wife and I hope you’ll both be very happy.’
‘As happy as you?’ he queried softly, drawing his thumb-pad lightly over her lips and discovering a smear of blood on his skin. ‘God, Jenna!’
His frustration spilled over and he pulled her into his arms, but his mouth was gentle on hers, caressing her tender flesh, the kiss so sweetly beguiling that she had no thought but to respond. He forced himself to relax, to explore her mouth with a slow sensuality, waiting until he felt her lips part before sliding his tongue into her and savouring her inner warmth.
He drew back at last, when his body felt taut with a need he dared not reveal, and sensing his withdrawal she stepped back, his gentle kiss on her forehead a final benediction. He was saying goodbye.
The next few weeks were torturous, and Jenna took to scanning the appointments pages of the newspapers, in the hope of finding another job that paid as well as her position at Morrell and Partners.
November dragged into December, the leaden skies echoing the feeling around her heart, and all the while she and Alex skirted around one another like moths drawn to a flame, but determined not to singe their wings. Fortunately he was in court for much of the time, working on a lengthy fraud trial, but she suspected that his new habit of e-mailing the office from home was so that he could avoid her.
Midway through another dismal week he announced that he was joining Selina in Durban for a few days, and took the ribbing that he was having his honeymoon before the wedding with good grace. Although, had she dared look into his eyes, Jenna would have seen that his smile did not reach them.
Jenna had given up hope that the sun would ever shine again, and for once was glad of the incessant rain. Lee had phoned to say that he intended to take Maisie out for the day on Saturday, possibly to the zoo, and as Jenna listened to the storm raging on Friday night she assumed that he would ring to cancel.
Saturday dawned cold but bright, and her heart sank as the peal of the doorbell heralded his arrival, her hands shaking as she fastened the buttons of Maisie’s coat.
‘I want you to come, Mummy.’ Maisie’s lip wobbled ominously, her grey eyes glistening like silvery pools, and Jenna sought to control her own emotions as she reassured the little girl.
‘You’re going to have a lovely time with Daddy, I promise. He loves you very much, Maisie, and I’ll be here, waiting for you when you come back.’ The second was a certainty; she would be counting the hours until Lee brought Maisie safely home. Of the first, she wasn’t convinced. But Lee was Maisie’s father, she had to give him the benefit of the doubt.
‘How many children are you taking to the zoo?’ she queried faintly when Lee led the way to a top-of-the-range people carrier fitted with eight seats.
‘Louise thought we should have a big car for all Maisie’s gear,’ he explained.
‘What gear? She’s not a kit of parts, you know, just one small child—and who’s Louise?’
‘Louise is my fiancée. She can’t wait to meet my little girl, especially when she’s such a pretty little thing,’ Lee said, his satisfaction with Maisie’s appearance evident. ‘She’s been buying things for weeks—toys, clothes, a pushchair.’
‘Maisie’s too big for a pushchair,’ Jenna argued, and Lee threw her an impatient look.
‘Just leave it, Jenna. Louise has been looking forward to meeting Maisie for a long time; she’s bound to want to spoil her.’
She couldn’t find fault with the top-quality safety seat, Jenna acknowledged as Lee strapped Maisie in, but neither could she throw off her feeling of unease as she watched the car pull away.
After pacing the house for an hour she was persuaded by a concerned Chris to go shopping, her brother’s promise to stay by the phone and call her if Lee reported any problems alleviating her worry slightly.
‘I see Lee’s fallen on his feet with that girlfriend of his.’
Jenna had been staring blankly at a shop window full of Christmas decorations when a familiar voice sounded in her ear and she turned to see her neighbour, Lee’s old friend from the fire station, Brian Wells.
‘Nice motor he was driving this morning. Taken Maisie out for the day, has he?’
‘Yes.’ Jenna’s tone was cool. She had never liked Brian, never been taken in by his overt friendliness—particularly when he had always taken delight in patting various parts of her anatomy, mainly her bottom, when she had been coerced by Lee to socialise with him and his wife Ann. ‘You don’t miss much, do you, Brian?’
‘Not a lot,’ Brian informed her with sly grin. ‘Lee asked me to keep an eye on you—friendly like, you know. Where’s your posh bloke with the Ferrari? Dumped you, has he?’
Jenna felt sick. ‘Lee asked you to spy on me?’ No wonder he always seemed to know her movements; no wonder the disturbing phone calls always occurred after she had been out on an occasional date. Brian had been watching her and reporting back to Lee.
‘Not spying,’ Brian’s wife hastily interposed. ‘Lee was worried about you living in the house on your own, and of course he was concerned about Maisie.’
‘Oh, of course,’ Jenna agreed cynically. ‘So concerned he’s hardly bothered with her up until now.’
‘Well, now he wants to marry Louise,’ Ann admitted, and Jenna frowned. ‘What does that have to do with Maisie?’
‘Louise is very well off. She runs her own company—a dating agency.’
‘And she selected Lee for herself? Goodness, her business must be a roaring success. But I still don’t understand.’
‘Louise can’t have children,’ Ann explained, her eyes on Jenna, so that she didn’t notice the warning glare from her husband. ‘She’s mid-forties now, and it seems that she’s unlikely to ever fall pregnant. She feels she devoted so many years to her career she sacrificed her chances of having a baby, or so Lee says.’
‘So Lee’s plan is to provide her with a child—my c
hild—in return for marriage and a meal ticket for life?’
‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that,’ Brian remonstrated. ‘Lee’s main concern is that Maisie is brought up in a stable environment, and you must admit introducing her to a steady stream of your boyfriends is hardly ideal.’
‘I don’t have a stream of boyfriends. I don’t even have a trickle. And you can tell Lee that I refuse to stand by and allow his girlfriend to play happy families with my daughter.’
‘She’s his daughter too,’ Brian reminded her. ‘Maybe the courts will decide that Maisie will be better cared for by her daddy and his new wife.’
‘He’ll never get away with it,’ Jenna told Chris later, as she paced the living room.
‘Course he won’t,’ Chris agreed sagely. ‘Even if the girlfriend pays out for top lawyers, you can still prove that Lee hasn’t taken any interest in Maisie up till now, and certainly never paid any maintenance.’
Jenna was not reassured, and fretted all afternoon, relief flooding through her when the people carrier pulled up outside the house.
‘What on earth is she wearing?’ she demanded when Maisie trotted through the front door looking like a fluffy marshmallow in a confection of pink fur.
‘Auntie Louise bought you a new coat and hat, didn’t she?’ Lee said, hastily handing his daughter over as she waved a sticky lollipop near his jacket.
‘She’s got a perfectly good winter coat,’ Jenna argued furiously. ‘Maisie’s not a doll, Lee. Your girlfriend might want a ready-made family, but she’s not having mine.’
‘We’ll see, won’t we?’ Lee murmured, and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.
It was a cheque made out to Jenna, and her eyebrows shot up as she stared at the amount detailed. ‘What’s this for?’
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