I shook my head and looked down at Tommy.
“Almost ten minutes.” I stifled a sob. “I tried to get to him...I…“
The paramedic pushing on the pump over his mouth nodded to me knowingly while the other pumped on his chest.
I ran my hands through my hair before going to Sammy’s side. Medical jargon was being thrown between the two paramedics and it just made the situation seem all the more real.
“He’s not breathing, Connor, he’s not breathing.” A torturous wail came out her mouth and I pulled her back into my chest. Stroking her hair, I didn’t take my eyes off the scene that was playing out in front of us.
Each paramedic stuck their fingers to the side of Tommy’s neck and checked his pulse before looking at each other with wide eyes, the one who had been pumping his chest shook his head.
The world started moving in slow motion. Sammy slipped from my arms and picked up Tommy screaming into his hair as the paramedics stepped away.
It was chaotic.
People started to crowd around the edges of the beach the police were cornering off. I looked down into Tommy’s lifeless face and a huge sob finally escaped me.
It all went by in a blur, I was numb with a mixture of emotions.
Wrapping them both into my arms, we cried together. This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening, I repeated the mantra in my head and then it was time.
The paramedics explained that they needed to take his body to the hospital. His body. Tears streaked down my face.
“You’re not taking him!” I pried Sammy’s hands away to let them intervene. “No! They’re not taking him! Connor, get off me, get off me.” She hit at my chest as I pulled her away from him.
“Sammy, stop it! Sammy! Please, just stop it!”
She froze and looked into my eyes before crumpling into a little heap on the dock. I knelt down in front of her and took her hands.
“Sammy. I... I’m here for you. Please tell me what you need.” As I was trying to instill some comfort in her, I noticed two police officers making their way over to us and stood up with Sammy tucked up against my side.
One was a woman in a cop uniform and I noticed she had a solemn look on her face compared to the stiff faced man in the suit who spoke first.
“My name’s Detective Chapman and this is Deputy Lee. I know this is hard for you both but I really need you to answer a couple of questions.” I nodded at them while Sammy stayed silent, tears running down her face. We were given foil blankets from two other officers and I watched Sammy hug it to herself.
Deputy Lee spoke next. “I’m very sorry but we’re going to have to do this separately.” She put her hand on Sammy’s arm. “I promise it won’t take longer than ten minutes hon.”
She looked to me when Sammy wouldn’t budge and I turned her in my arms.
“I’ll be right here; I’m not going anywhere. Answer what they need you too and then we can get you home.”
She sniffled and nodded quickly before we followed them onto the beach. Deputy Lee took Sammy a little way further down.
“I understand this is a sensitive situation but if you could just answer these next questions without hesitation, then it’ll be over before you know it.” I nodded stiffly as I watched the paramedics lift Tommy’s body onto a stretcher. “If you could give me all your details; name, date of birth, address and your relation to the boy”
The boy?
“His name’s Tommy.” I clenched my jaw as he gave me a look. “Connor Hartley, May seventeenth, nineteen-ninety-one, three seventy-one Teespark Avenue, Little Hollow.” I waited for the next question.
“And your relation to the b- to Tommy?” My relation? I wished myself not to cry as tears stung at the back of my eyes. How did I sum up my relationship to Tommy?
“A good friend. He’s my best friends little brother. Was my best friends little brother.” I corrected myself, I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer so I let them go freely.
I raised my hands above my head and linked them together behind my neck letting the blanket drop to the sand.
“And can you tell me what happened from the beginning. Don’t miss out any little details.” He was thorough and quite cold, I wanted to be far away from this guy so I told him what had happened.
Sammy was being questioned longer than me so I interrupted them to tell her I would go grab a couple of bits from mine and come pick her up, her eyes widened in panic and I assured her I’d only be five minutes.
But I never made it back to her.
I still remembered every nerve crushing detail as if it was yesterday. I knew why Sammy hated me, I knew why she blamed everything on me, because I did too.
A tear rolled down my cheek and my mom came over to take my face in her hands. “Connor, you’ve got to let this go, sweetheart.” I’d made a promise to Sammy that I’d never go back there again but I still couldn’t let it go that easily.
“No matter what I do, I’ll never be able to let this go. It isn’t something I can just sweep under the rug. A little boy didn’t get to grow up because I wasn’t watching him!” I gritted my teeth and then said in a breath, “I wasn’t watching him.”
I hung my head in my hands and my mom rubbed my back.
“Accidents happen. He was a perfectly good swimmer, you knew that.” I did, I taught him myself. He’d asked me to, so off we went on one of our ‘man days’ to the local pool, we started off small at first but he was a quick learner.
“Of course I knew that but I wasn’t thinking that at the time. We were just goofing around; I didn’t mean to leave him by the water on his own. But it happened and that’s on me.”
I wiped at my eyes and looked at my mom.
“Oh, sweetheart, there were three people there that day and neither one of them was to blame. I wish there was a way I could make you see that.”
Well, there wasn’t. Saved by the bell, Pete walked through the front door and into the kitchen.
“Mmm, smells good, guys.” He kissed my mom on the cheek and picked a slice of bread up off the chopping board.
“Hey! You wait until it’s served. I’m dishing up now.” She smiled playfully at him and our conversation was forgotten about. Just like that.
I wish it was that simple for me.
I underestimated how tired I actually was. After five hours on the road, I had to stop at a motel. I was exhausted from the past couple of days and I knew that if I carried on, it was more than likely going to end up with me not getting to my destination safely.
Speaking of destinations, I took out my cell and shot a text to Lewis.
Did he reply? Have I got an address? Sammy.
Before going inside to get a room, I checked in with Keeley too.
Pulling over into a motel, it’s the creepiest I’ve ever seen. If I die, I love you. Oh, and don’t eat my Oreos if I do, I’ll be watching! S x
I chuckled to myself before taking a deep breath and walking into the eerie reception area. There was no one about so I tapped the bell. Out walked a girl around my age and I visibly relaxed.
“Can I help you?” she mumbled in a bored tone. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the friendliest of people but at least she didn’t look like a murderer.
“Yeah, I’d like a room for the night please,” I said as she popped her gum at me.
“That’ll be forty-six bucks for the night, check out is at ten.” I’d never heard anyone talk so monotone before. I placed the exact bills on the counter and she slid a room key towards me.
“Room seven.” I thanked her and made a beeline for my room. It felt weird being on my own, I’d never been more than three hours outside of Little Hollow before and everything had me on edge.
Opening up the door to my room, I was pleasantly surprised. It had all the necessities and it was clean; that’s all I needed.
Setting my duffle on the bed, I got out some of my comfy clothes and went for a shower. I’d not had time to properly think since I’d left, that was, unt
il now.
Of course, I thought about random things on the drive up but I was too pepped up with excitement and apprehension that I’d forgot to think about the what ifs. What if I got there and his girlfriend opened the door? What if it was all just in my head, the attraction, the crazy sexual tension?
It couldn’t be though, he admitted to loving me or loved? Should that be past tense? Thoughts whirled around my head making my eyes tired so I hurriedly finished washing my hair and got dressed.
As I lay on the bed flicking through cable, one ‘what if’ was more prominent than the rest. What if I’d blew my chances with him and he didn’t want me there? I jumped as a ding sounded from my bedside table and picked up my cell.
I can’t promise anything. Actually, now you mention it, I do fancy a snack. Stay safe, I quite like having you as a best friend, love you. K x
I smiled at the message and clicked reply, telling her she was a big teddy bear. There was another unread message, this one from Lewis. He had an address for me. I sighed in relief, at least I knew where I was going now instead of driving blind into a city I knew nothing about.
It was almost eight and my stomach rumbled reminding me that I hadn’t eaten all day. I looked down at my baggy sweatpants and decided I didn’t care what I looked like and set off in my car to the roadside diner I saw about three miles back.
When I got there I was greeted by a peppy blond haired waitress carrying three milkshakes over to a table of guys.
“Hey there! Pick any table you want and I’ll be right with you.” I smiled at her; she was a stark contrast to the girl from the motel.
I sat down in a corner booth away from all of the other customers. For a Sunday night, it sure was busy. I looked over the menu and decided on a cheeseburger and fries without even feeling guilty, I’d hardly eaten these past few days and I was going to enjoy every last bite.
“Sorry about the wait.” I jumped as the waitress appeared out of nowhere. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” She giggled and I couldn’t help but join in. “Can I get you any drinks?”
I laughed and ordered my food and drink, checking out all the other customers. My eyes landed on a teenage couple sitting three booths away from me. A little girl of around six sat next to the boy. What was she doing out so late?
The couple were quite clearly having a heated discussion and the little girl had her head bowed, looking uncomfortable. It broke my heart to see her like that so I tried to catch her attention by pulling funny faces.
After the fourth one, I saw her head peep up and she giggled before covering her mouth. The waitress brought me my water and I pulled another face at the little girl. Again, she giggled but this time, the boy turned around and glared at her.
“What you laughing at, Daphne? It’s bad enough mom made me babysit you, again, I told you to just sit there and be good! You’re so annoying.” I felt my heart break again at the sadness in her face. How could he be so callous towards his baby sister? I would do anything, and I meant anything, in the world to have my little brother tagging along with me everywhere I went again.
Okay, maybe not everywhere, but he shouldn’t speak to her that way. I felt the tears start stinging my eyes but they were tears of anger this time. I dabbed at them with the corner of my sweater as the waitress brought over my burger and fries.
I thanked her and looked down at it. I’d lost my appetite but took a bite anyway knowing I needed to eat something. It could’ve been the tastiest burger to ever cross my palette, but it just tasted like cardboard as I kept staring at the little girl with her head down.
She sneaked a look my way and I smiled sympathetically at her. She looked up at her brother and puffed out her chest.
“Mom says you have to be nice to me, Dylan. And I’m tired, I wanna go home!” The boy, Dylan, looked from the girl sitting across from him to little Daphne who cowered under her brothers’ stare.
“Well, mom isn’t here right now, is she? Stop embarrassing me!” Something switched in me and I slammed some bills down on my table with a generous tip and stalked over to them.
“Excuse me, Dylan is it?” The boy looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face. “I think your sister would like to go home now, you need to listen to her.” He scoffed and looked at his companion.
“Is this chick for real?” I placed my palms on the table, noticing the looks from the other customers surrounding us but not actually giving a flying-
“Oh, I’m being deadly serious. You really should be nicer to your sister; she looks up to you. And you,” I looked at the girl sitting opposite him. “How you can sit there and watch him treat that sweet little girl like that is disgusting. If he will treat his own flesh and blood like that, well, I’d hate to think how he’d be towards you if you didn’t like something he did or said.” Her eyes widened and she looked from me to Dylan.
“Maybe you should just take Daphne home Dylan, it is kinda late. We can do this another time.” He was furious but I’d proven my point to this girl, I doubt there would be another time for him. I knelt down and craned my finger towards Daphne and she shuffled towards me.
“Hey! Stay away from her, you creep!” Dylan flung a protective arm around her and I smiled and stood up.
“Looking after your little sister every now and again isn’t the worst thing in the world, trust me. I’d do anything to be able to look after my little brother one more time. Just go a little easier on her, okay?” He looked down at Daphne in his arms and pulled her onto his knee.
“I don’t know who you are, lady, but you don’t know me. I...” He looked sheepishly at the girl. “I love my sister but she’s still my annoying kid sister. We don’t get along all the time but I’d never do anything to hurt her.” He ruffled her hair and my eyes filled with tears.
What was wrong with me? I’d just confronted some kids still in school. I just missed Tommy with every fiber of my being. I missed being close to someone like that.
I nodded and turned on my heels not bothering to take a look back at them but noticing everyone was now staring at me. I was in a town where no one knew me and I still managed to draw the attention of everyone in it, humiliating myself yet again.
Making my way back to the motel, it occurred to me that I’d been living day to day, not getting close to anyone but Keeley. I’d pushed every other single person out of my life.
Why? Because then I’d have to have acknowledged any other emotion other than fake happiness. I was happy with my career and I loved Kee but there was something missing. I’d buried everything deep down and I’d not even had the chance to grieve properly for Tommy.
I couldn’t remember much of the day of his funeral, it was all one big blur. What I did remember was having to arrange it all because my mom was in no fit state to do it. In a way I was glad that she couldn’t remember. We only had a small gathering, it wasn’t what normal people would call a funeral but it was all I could afford with the help of Miss Debbie.
I woke up, having not had nearly enough hours of sleep to get through today. My throat was sore and my eyes were red raw from all the crying. Nobody would see me cry today. I was determined not to, I’d done my fair share already.
I got out of bed, showered and dressed like a robot. Passing my mom’s room, I saw her bed hadn’t even been slept in yet and I wasn’t surprised, over the past week she had slept here once. I wasn’t sure where she’d been but she only came back for a change of clothes, looking worse each and every time.
She hadn’t shown much emotion about Tommy, she’d just spiraled into a drinking binge, but this time I didn’t blame her. I understood. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend this wasn’t happening too but I needed her. I needed her so badly it hurt but there was nothing I could do to let her know that.
She had tuned out and I was left to pick up the pieces.
I took a deep, shuddering breath as the doorbell rang, my heart skipped a beat and my stomach tightened. It had been a w
eek since I’d last heard from my best friend. Word around town was he’d been shipped off to his grandma’s but I knew the real reason. He just couldn’t cope with the guilt; I knew because I felt it too.
He was gone, and I was so angry with him, but every time the phone rang or the door went, I still wished it was him.
Opening up the door, Miss Debbie was there with a solemn look on her face. My boss had been my rock over the past week but she wasn’t the person I wanted to see standing there.
I waved her in and she went straight to the coffee pot. “Have you eaten yet?” I shook my head. “Sammy, sweetheart.” She reached for my hand. “I know you won’t feel like eating but it’s important. Let me fix you something?”
I nodded, that was all I could muster. I didn’t even know what we had in but she soon started putting some ingredients together to make me a turkey sandwich. “Well, it’s not breakfast food but it’ll keep you going.” She sat opposite me at the table, watching me take little bites and I squirmed under her intense stare.
“You’ve got the Salon to run, you don’t have to be here,” I finally said and she sighed, looking around the room.
“I don’t want to go through this again with you, you know Rose is covering for me today. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” I swallowed the last of my sandwich, not acknowledging the comment and put the dish in the sink. I heard her chair scrape across the floor as she got up.
“You don’t have to be this stoic and detached today, everyone understands, Sammy, you’ve just lost your brother.” I flinched as she put a hand on my back.
“I didn’t lose anyone. He died. He isn’t going to magically turn up like a lost set of keys.” I shrugged her hand off. “I just want to be alone right now so I’d appreciate it if you just left.”
She hesitated before picking up her purse. “You can’t push people away forever, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I hate to say it but...Tommy wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want you to be alone.” As if I had a choice in the matter, she continued, “And yes, things are shitty right now but you have people around you that want to help; you have me. Don’t lock yourself away, this is something you don’t have to deal with alone. I’ll be back in two hours to pick you up, whether you want me there or not.” With that, she left.
One Moment (The Little Hollow Series Book 1) Page 17
