by Kailin Gow
“He’s dead, gone. I’m the only one left. Tell me what do I have to do to get you to move on, Rial. How can I make it right again between our families? Between us?”
Rial looked at me with questioning dark eyes. “If you really want me to forget all about your father’s betrayal…”
More than anything, I longed to clear the slate. “What do I have to do?”
“Give me one night with you, one long, special night.” His fingers traced a line up my thigh. “Let me make love to you. Let me show you just a glimpse of what marriage to me would look like… feel like. Tomorrow, decide what you want to do… who you want to be with.” He slipped his hand into my panties and stroked my clit, already sleek and moist. “You're so hot already, Lilly. Can you feel it?”
I groaned.
His eyes lit up with lust and mischief. “You’re so wet, your panties are soaked. We’ll have to take them off and let them dry before you can leave.” He tugged them down and let them pool at my ankles while his hands went around to grab my bare bottom. The heat of his soft hands on my skin was intoxicating.
“This smooth silky skin,” he murmured. “This full, round ass, so firm, so perfect… I just want to get lost in it.”
Grabbing me by the waist, he hoisted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. My moist pussy rubbed up against his engorged cock. Even through the fabric of the robe that separated us, I could feel how hard he was.
A deep, animal groan rode up my throat as instant pleasure filled me. I wanted more of his cock. I wanted to see him, fully aroused and stiff as a rod.
Instead, he set me down on the sofa, my legs in the air and my entire sex open to his gaze.
“My sweet Lilly. Look at how beautiful you are.” He ran his fingers along the creases of my sex, so wet and hot for him. “I always did find you beautiful, Lilly, but now… now you're sultry, sexy… a real tigress. I could…” With an animal grunt, he shoved two fingers up inside me and reached the spot that instantly had me bucking and begging for more.
Licking my lips, I looked up at him, happy to see just how hungry and aroused he was.
“You’ve got the perfect pink pussy, Lilly, and so tight. My cock is aching just thinking about squeezing in and getting lost in your moist heat.”
“Then fuck me, Rial.” The words slipped out before I could even register them.
He grinned and whispered, “Not yet,” He bent down until his face was in my crotch. “So pink and sweet.” He kissed my inner thigh and slowly snaked his tongue up to my pink lips. “Not yet,” he repeated.
I could feel the juices flow and my clit throb with the need to be touched, to be coddled, to be satisfied. I tilted my hips up, and tried to align my clit with his mouth, but he dodged it.
“Tell me what you really want, Lilly.” He gave my clit a teasing lick that left me gasping. “Tell me what you want me to do, angel.”
“Eat me, Rial,” I said through a heated breath.
“Eat you?” Grinning, he lowered his head and licked through the folds of skin. “Like that? Or do you prefer…” He lowered his head again, this time dropping his entire mouth over my clit. His teeth bit gently down on the sensitive nub before he added a little pressure, while his fingers found my nipples and pinched and twisted them until I thought he’d rip them off.
“Yes,” I said, panting for breath as the pleasure took over my body.
“This is how you like it, Lilly?” he said, his fingers digging into the flesh of my breasts.
“Yes. Yes, Rial. Harder… even more.” I thought I’d go nuts if he didn’t fuck me soon. My body was on the verge of exploding and I so badly wanted him inside me when it happened.
He gave my sex one long, sweet lick then looked up at me through the valley between my breasts.
“Have you always found me attractive, Lilly?” he said.
“Yes, always.”
“I’ve always suspected you had a bit of a crush on me. Am I wrong?”
“I had a terrible crush on you,” I breathed. “I thought about you all the time, and always looked for excuses to be around you.”
“And when you look at me now, do you remember feeling a profound affection for me?”
I close my eyes and went back to the little girl I’d been. The little girl who’d looked at Rial with adoration; the little girl who’d wanted nothing more than to have Rial look at her the way he looked at other girls. He’d always treated me like a child. Even at his birthday party, when he’d turned fifteen… I’d begged my father to buy me a more grown up dress, one that didn’t have any ribbons and bows; one that wasn’t pink or lilac. But, despite the dark blue dress with the delicate straps and shorter hemline, despite the touch of blush I’d sneaked onto my cheeks and the fashionable sandals, Rial had patted me on the head and turned his hungry eyes to Rebecca, a fourteen year old brunette with budding breasts.
It was always the same. Every young girl for miles had a crush on him, and even a few girls from the next districts. He was always so popular, and so unattainable. I was a little girl trying to compete with young ladies from the entire neighborhood… from all of France for all I knew.
“Yes. I’ve always wanted you.”
“Then stay with me tonight. Let me make sweet love to you. Let me show you what true love looks like. Tonight, one night, be mine like it was meant to be.”
I opened my eyes, suddenly confused by my surroundings. I knew I had to get home, yet, looking around, it felt like I was home; home after so many years away. “Rial, I have to go.”
He straightened up and scowled at me. “I expected as much.”
“Please don’t be angry.”
“I wanted you to come to me, to my bed willingly, Lilly. I was offering you the choice, hoping you’d make the right decision. It’s more than I would have offered your father if I’d found him.”
I swallowed the lump of responsibility he’d laid on me. My father, the engagement, this house… Could I really erase it all simply by sleeping with this man; this beautiful, sexy man who’d been in my dreams for so long? Even without knowing it was him, he’d always been there, hidden away in some dark and erotic recess of my mind, and now he was there… in the flesh. And what sexy flesh it was.
Since the very day I met Rial, the desire I had for him had begun to plant the seeds of doubt I had for my relationship with Bobby. Was my future really with Bobby?
Rial stood and closed my robe. “Go wash yourself up and get dressed,” he said, his voice flat and devoid of any hint of lust. “I’ll have the limo come up front for you.”
Not knowing what to say, I stared up at him.
“Go home and think about all we’ve talked about. Think about the offer I made you and consider your options. If you decide you want to set this right, come back, and I’ll be more than happy to accommodate you, but if you decide to leave things as they are…”
My heart beat like thunder and my palms clammed up as I listened to him.
“Then you’ll leave me no other choice than to continue my search for your father… and when I find him, I’ll deal with things my way.”
He turned and walked out without giving me a chance to answer, not that I really had any answer to offer. Feeling lost and empty, I found my clothes, cleaned myself up and got dressed.
Thinking I’d find Rial in the front foyer as I made my way out, I was disappointed when he didn’t show, but as promised, the limo waited at the door.
I knew I was leaving something big, something important behind as I opened the door and walked out, but I had to leave. Before getting into the limo, I glanced up at the windows hoping to find a glimpse of him. Then I finally saw him, his face set in stone… sad and lost. My heart ached for him and for a moment I consider running back inside.
What’s gotten into you, Lilly?
I loved Bobby, or at least I thought I did. If I loved Bobby, how could I be so undeniably attracted to Rial, to this man from my past?
Because I’d always loved Rial. H
e was part of the past I wanted to find. Maybe if I remembered my past with him, I could find out who I was before I was left at the convent.
Looking at the house, at the property, so much of who I’d been and how I’d loved him came rushing back to me, and I realized my memory had been wiped from me; maybe through illness, maybe through that accident Rial mentioned I had, or maybe through some traumatic experience. Whatever it was, it had wiped clean my memory of Rial, of this house and of my father.
Now I had to fight to regain it all.
Chapter 9
“Where were you?” Bobby asked the moment I stepped into the apartment. His hair was a mess and he clearly hadn’t shaved that morning.
“You look like hell. What happened to you?” I tossed my purse on the sofa and headed for the kitchen.
“Worrying about you is what happened to me. Where were you?”
“I went in search of answers. I went looking for my past.” I grabbed the loaf of bread, tore off a chunk and slathered it with butter before popping it in my mouth.
“You mean your past with that Rial bastard?”
I leaned back on the counter and looked at him. “It’s more than that, Bobby. Don’t you think there’s something abnormal about the fact that I can’t remember much of my childhood, that I can barely remember anything before arriving at the convent? Maybe some of what Rial said is true. Maybe we are engaged… and what if my father really is alive? I want to find him and I want to learn more about who I am. Don’t you?”
“Yes, of course, but does it have to involve Rial?”
“He’s the only person who remembered me from my past. I can't just ignore the fact that we might be engaged. I also need to find out why we’re engaged, why our parents promised us to one another.” I found it increasingly difficult to face him and hurried past him to the living room to sit on the sofa. It was hard enough knowing that I had to fight to find my past without having to argue about it with him. I also didn’t want to face what happened between Rial and me…what I’ve been dreaming about for so long…Rial and being with him.
I looked away from Bobby. “All this time I thought I was an orphan. I grew up, all my life without a home, and now… Now I find out that I may be a part of some old, aristocratic family, a family with a history, with traditions and with responsibilities. I have a family home that Rial is now living in…we, my family and his must’ve been really close for him to live there. So, Bobby, there is some truth to my engagement to Rial. Everything points to the engagement as being real, and if it is, it’s my turn now to take responsibility. I have to make things right.”
Sitting beside me, looking pained at first when I mentioned the engagement, nevertheless, he put his arm around me. “Okay. It’s hard for me to process that the engagement is real and I don’t know what to say. I just know it must be hard for you to take this all in. Just one thing at a time, angel. One thing at a time.” He kissed my forehead and gave me an affectionate squeeze.
He was so sweet and I knew he was a good guy. Suddenly regretting my time with Rial, I leaned in to kiss him and was surprised when he pulled away.
“You know, since you’ve been gone all day, I’ll make you a bite to eat. A good, hearty dinner. You must be hungry. You went for that loaf of bread like you hadn’t eaten for days. Did you have lunch?”
“No, but…” I didn’t want to discuss Rial’s meal.
“What do you feel like? Turkey with dumplings? Or how about chicken on a bed of rice? Or maybe something even heartier, like a good steak, or grilled salmon. We did something really cool today in one of the classes. Wait until you try it.”
Twisting around, I stared at him as he headed back to the kitchen and busied himself with the preparations. He pulled out pots and pans and a variety of ingredients without even waiting for an answer from me.
Was he trying to change the subject? Did he not want to hear about my search for my past? Damn it. It was just like him to take something that was so important to me and push it aside because… because what? Because he learned some new cooking technique in school?
Fuming, I joined him in the kitchen. If he wasn’t interested in who I was and he only wanted to deal with the here and now, then maybe I should take a closer look at our relationship. Maybe we didn’t really have a future together after all.
Standing there for a whole two minutes, I waited for him to address me, but when he kept his attention adamantly on the preparation of his meal, I turned and headed to my room to change. I could still smell Rial on me and it was way too distracting.
When I came back to the dining room, the table had been set and Bobby walked in with two steaming plates of salmon and rice.
“Right on time,” he said as he set the plates down.
“Smells wonderful, Bobby.” I sat and poked my fork through the rice, but I barely had any appetite.
“It’s a special blend of herbs with a very dark Dijon.”
“You're so sweet to do this.”
“Hey,” he said with a shrug. “It’s what I do.”
We settled into a relaxed and light conversation that was comfortable and so familiar. After my first bite of his salmon, my appetite grew, and I was able to finish off my plate.
At the back of my mind, my afternoon with Rial gnawed at my consciousness, but I tried to concentrate on Bobby as he told me about his classes. But when we’d made the rounds and had talked about all the little and somewhat insignificant things, we were silent until Bobby put his hand over mine.
“I’m glad you're back and safe, Lilly.”
Uncomfortable, I fidgeted. I knew we had to talk about Rial and my past, but I dreaded it.
“You know, of course you're right about finding out about your past. It’s only normal for you to get answers about who you are. I was just talking to Taryn this morning and she was going on about Errol and how shaken up he is about this whole thing too. She’s trying to keep him from becoming embittered by the fact that his parents were right here in France while he grew up lost and feeling alone. She’s encouraging him to do everything he can to find out what happened so that he can then move on and put the past behind him; closure. I think that’s what you might need, too.”
“I think you're right.”
“Then do what you need to do, Lilly. I won’t stop you. I won’t get in your way.” He leaned over and set a cool and chaste kiss on my cheek then stood and picked up the empty plates and brought them to the kitchen. “In fact, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t have the heart, but now…,” he called from the kitchen.
I sat at the table staring at a stray grain of rice on the tablecloth. My heart pounded as I anticipated his next words.
“I have to go to New York for a while. My mom’s isn’t feeling very well, and she needs a hand at the restaurant.” He returned to the dining room with two cups of coffee.
“Can’t Taryn go?”
Shaking his head, he poured some sugar into his coffee and stirred for an interminably long time. “Errol’s right smack in the middle of a semester. They can’t leave Paris right now.” He glanced at me. “It wouldn’t be fair to ask Taryn to leave her new marriage. Her place is here with her husband. Me? My classes can wait. I’ll come back and catch up next semester. The important thing now is going home to take care of my mom.”
And me? I wanted to ask.
“Of course, I will miss you, Lilly. In fact, you're really the only person I’ll miss, but…” He sipped his coffee then set his cup down and stared at its contents. “I’m worried about you, about us. Things lately… I don’t know how all this will turn out. Your life is here in France while mine is back in New York.”
My heart crumbled and tears made a quick dash to my eyes.
“I can’t very well ask you to give up what you have here, anymore than you can expect me to ignore my responsibilities back home.”
“You're right.”
“If anything, I think the time apart may do us some good. You’
ll have more free time to do what you need to do without me in the way.” He pressed his lips together. “It’s probably best that you find out who you are and what you really want before you can make any kind of commitment to me. I’ll admit, I was tempted to force your hand and have you make a choice here and now, but that ultimately wouldn’t do us any good. I want you to take your time and come to whatever decision you come to without any pressure.”
“What are you saying, Bobby?”
“I’ll be gone for a while. You're not obligated to me for anything.”
“You're breaking up with me?”
He sat back and let out an exasperated sigh. “I love you, Lilly. Don’t ever doubt that, but… I’m not stupid. I can see how you’ve changed since… well. You’ve grown distant and it’s clear your mind is elsewhere. We’re drifting apart and I know there’s nothing I can do but let you drift where you need to drift.”
“So are you just running away to New York to leave me some time alone?”
“No. I really do have to go back. I’ve been thinking of it for a while, wondering if I should leave you to tend to your things, but I didn’t really want to. Then when I got the call from my mom, well… It was like some divine sign telling me this is the right thing to do after all.”
Torn, I wanted to keep him from leaving all while knowing he was right.
“If we’re meant to be together, Lilly, it will happen. We’ll find each other again and then we’ll know it’s for real, but in the meantime, I won’t contact you or pressure you in any way. Just know that I love you, and I’ll never forget you.”
“When do you leave?”
“My flight leaves in three hours.”
“So you already had this all planned out.”
He nodded.
I reached for his hand as tears streamed down my cheeks. “But I don’t want you to go, Bobby.”
He got up and reached for his jacket and I tagged along behind him as he headed for the door.
