by Thorpe, K.
“It’s what’s inside that I’m worried about,” she says.
Josh exits the car. Natan reluctantly follows, opening her door slowly and easing her way out of the car. “See, it’s not so difficult. One foot in front of the other,” he encourages. Josh rounds the car to meet Natan on her side.
“I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this, Professor. I’ll oblige for the moment, Mr. Numbers, but if I see a cauldron or an eye of newt, I’m outta here.”
“She’s a psychic, Agent Natan…not a witch.” Natan and Josh approach the house.
“You know what I mean.” Natan looks around suspiciously in her N.S.A. way as they make their way to the door. Josh is just about to ring the door bell when Natan spots him fidgeting and holding his right thumb inside of his right four fingers. Natan stops him before he depresses the bell. “What are you doing with your thumb?”
Josh holds his hand up. “What? This?”
“What is that?” she asks.
“It’s faith,” he spouts matter-of-factly.
“Faith?” Natan’s anxiety elevates even more. What am I getting myself into here?
“We’re late, Agent Natan. I’ll tell you later,” he tries to insist.
Natan stops him. “Oh, no…no. I need to hear this, Professor.”
Josh squares off to face Natan. Realizing that he will lose this battle, he gives in,
speaking quickly. “When I was a boy I used to get stressed quite easily.”
“That’s hard to image, Professor.”
“Do you want to hear the story or not?” he asks.
Natan lowers her head. “My apologies. Please continue.”
His speech remains quick to eliminate more of a delay. “My mother tried everything to help calm me down and nothing worked. Then one tense afternoon when I was so stressed because of a serious situation…” He trails off as he eyes Natan’s expression.
“Are you going to finish, Professor?” she asks.
Josh continues, “My mother pulled me aside and told me to hold my thumb. She said it symbolized faith…”
Natan interrupts, “Faith in what…that your thumb would still be there after terminating circulation to it?”
“Faith that everything would work out…that all would be okay,” he asserts.
“By holding your thumb?” she asks. Josh nods yes. Natan giggles despite her attempts to maintain a straight face. “Does holding your ear represent anything for you?” she jokes. Josh rolls his eyes and starts to ring the bell. She interrupts him, “And apparently this worked for you.”
“Absolutely. Faith came…washing the calm I needed all over me.” Josh eyes his watch, “Look, we’re getting later by the minute. I’m ringing the bell.”
Natan gives him a go-ahead nod and Josh rings the bell. The two stand waiting.
“How old were you when your mom taught you this little trick?” she probes.
“Six or seven,” he replies.
“And you still do this, even though you’re how old?” she asks.
“I’m thirty-five. If things work…why change them, right?”
“Wasn’t that the business theory of the early 1900s?” she teases.
Josh shakes his head. “You think it’s childish.”
Natan throws up her hands. “To each his own, Professor.”
Josh grabs Natan’s hand. “Try it, Agent Natan.”
She is startled by his touch again. “That’s okay, Professor. I’m…I’m good actually. I have all the faith I need.”
Josh replies, “You are a person more in need of faith than anyone I know. Besides, you shouldn’t judge until you try it.”
“Fine.” Natan reluctantly holds her right thumb inside of her four right fingers as she stands waiting.
Josh brims with anticipation. “Well? Can you feel it, Agent Natan?”
“I feel something all right,” she retorts.
“You have absolutely no faith, do you, Agent Natan?”
“Professor, I don’t need faith to know that opposable thumbs are a blessing and when I play this little game of hide and seek with my thumb,” she flips her thumb in and out of her hand, “I feel as though I’ve taken a few steps down the evolutionary ladder.”
Josh shakes his head at Natan. “You know, my family and I aren’t the only ones
who believe holding your thumb is a good thing.”
“I’m sure young children and some animals all over the world benefit from it,” she replies.
Josh explains, “Actually, Scandinavians hold their thumbs for luck…just like Americans cross our fingers for luck.”
The two are interrupted as the door opens to a petite, kind, and welcoming-
looking psychic, Susan. Josh leans into Natan, whispering, “We’ll talk about this later.”
Natan pats Josh on the back, replying in an unabashed voice, “There’s nothing to talk about, Professor. Let’s look at the bright side…you could be sucking it instead of holding it.”
Josh ignores Natan, directing his attention to Susan and reaching to shake her hand. “Hello. I apologize for us being a bit late.” Susan extends her hand, as she replies in a dainty voice, “It’s okay. I knew when you would arrive. I’m Susan. Please, come in.”
Natan looks at Josh and rolls her eyes as they enter the residence. You’ve got to
be kidding me.
Chapter Thirty-six
Susan’s home is furnished delicately and femininely. Josh and Natan follow Susan into her living room area, a sea of pink, as she welcomes them. “I love working from my home,” she says, “It gives it a more relaxed feel.” Susan motions to a couch and chairs. “Please have a seat,” she says. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thank you. I’m okay,” Josh replies.
“If I said yes, would you be able to tell me what I want?” Natan chides.
Josh attempts to curb Natan’s jokes when Susan interrupts him, “That’s okay, Professor Sails. She’d like water, is that correct?”
“Yeah…but that’s an evident one,” Natan banters.
“Please sit. I’ll return momentarily,” Susan replies.
Josh pulls Natan over to a couch and the two sit down. “Do you have to be so rude?”
“It’s not rude to evaluate her abilities, Professor. Where’d you find this woman, anyway?
Josh replies, “Amanda referred me. One of her old girlfriends used her before.”
“That’s comforting,” Natan says, annoyed.
Susan enters the room holding a glass of water with ice as she directs her attention
to Natan. “I know you like ice, Katherine…” Natan jumps to her feet and starts to interject as she glares at Josh, believing that he revealed her first name. Susan continues, “And, I know you don’t like to be called Katherine…I just wanted to get your attention. Professor Sails has told me nothing about you…except that you seek to find your own truth.”
“And, if he’s told you nothing about me, then how do you…” Natan can’t find the words to ask.
Susan hands Natan the water. “Please, Agent Natan, have a seat. You are definitely suspicious, aren’t you?”
Josh agrees, “That she is.”
Natan shoots Josh a look of annoyed resolution. “It comes with the job.”
Susan continues, “Your work with the N.S.A….”
Josh interrupts, directing his attention to Natan. “I swear I haven’t told her anything about you, Agent Natan, not your name, where you work, hobbies, nothing.”
An unsettled Natan sits. Susan continues, “It’s true, Agent Natan. I know it’s hard to believe, but my abilities are real. I’m a clairvoyant…among other things. And you, my dear, are a clair-sentient.”
“Clair-what?” Natan asks.
“Clair-sentient. It’s a person who senses…one who uses their intuition to gain insight,” Susan replies as she places her hand over the top of Natan’s head, without touching it.
Natan, moving her eyes only,
looks up at her with part confusion, part fear, and asks, “What are you doing?”
Susan continues probing Natan’s head. “I’m reading your energy. Please be still.” Natan waits. “Ah…and I see you’ve been experiencing visions. Do you get headaches?” Susan asks.
Natan stumbles, “How did you…? What? How?”
Susan pulls her hand away and looks into Natan’s eyes. “Agent Natan. I can
only help you if you allow me to.”
“This isn’t a particular comfort zone for me,” Natan confides.
“I understand. How can I make you feel more comfortable?” Susan asks.
“Can I have the N.S.A. do a background check on you first?” Natan jokes.
Josh and Susan sit speechless. Natan continues, “That was a joke. I may be suspicious, but you’re a bit uptight yourself.” The room lightens as Natan continues, “Tell me how you know what you know.”
Susan replies, “I just do. We all have gifts…and this is mine. Would you like to learn more about yours?”
“I don’t have a gift,” Natan says adamantly.
“You’re right…you don’t have just one gift,” Susan retorts. “You have many, many gifts and if you don’t start getting a handle on them now, they will come with even more side effects than just the headaches you’ve been experiencing every once in a while.”
“And…the headaches?” Natan asks.
“They will get worse before they get better,” Susan says. “Your body is adjusting.”
“Adjusting to what?” Natan asks.
“To your abilities. You can help by not resisting so much.” Susan sits down next to Natan in a nearby chair as Josh watches from the other side of the couch. She points to Natan’s hand. “Can you turn your hand over for me?” Natan flips her hand over, turning it palm up. Susan places her hand a few inches above Natan’s, reassuring her, “I promise I’m not trying to read your palm, Agent Natan. I’m attempting to connect with you.”
“I was just wondering if I should say ohm,” Natan quips.
Josh interjects, “Agent Natan…”
Susan puts her other hand up to Josh. “Professor Sails…it’s okay. I’ll need you to remain silent or your energy will merge with Agent Natan’s and make it more difficult for me…”
Josh apologizes, “Okay, sorry.” He sits back on the couch, quietly observing.
Susan continues, “Agent Natan…I’m going to tell you what energies I’m picking up from you.”
“Oh, do tell.” Natan raises her eyebrow.
“It’s okay…doubt is a natural thing,” Susan says. “Now let’s see where you lead me…” Not touching Natan’s hand, Susan circles her hand above Natan’s hand and closes her eyes. “You have powerful energy around you, from within and from external forces. I’m feeling a very strong maternal energy around you.”
Natan tries to save Susan from embarrassment. “You should know that my real mother died during childbirth and my stepmother was killed in a car accident a year after I was adopted.”
Susan opens her eyes. “That doesn’t make sense. I feel an exceptionally strong maternal energy surrounding you. That doesn’t happen unless a parent remains connected to the child within our plane.”
Natan continues, “Well…I don’t know what to tell you, other than that this isn’t looking promising.”
“It must be an anomaly. We’ll move on.” Susan closes her eyes again, “Your spirit is transforming…evolving.”
“Anything more specific would be helpful,” Natan says impatiently.
“Patience…” Susan whispers.
Natan rolls her eyes and is about to interject when Susan asks, “Are you religious, Agent Natan?”
“No,” Natan says quickly.
“Spiritual?” Susan asks.
“No,” Natan replies again.
“I’m sensing a deity presence,” Susan says.
“What?” Natan asks.
Susan replies, “I feel that God is close to you.” Natan doesn’t look convinced. Susan says, “You’re not a believer.” Natan shakes her head no. Susan continues, “I find it so interesting that God surrounds you…emanating from every part of you…and yet you have no faith.”
“Faith seems to be the permeating theme today,” Natan says as she attempts to get up from the couch, touching Susan’s hand accidentally. Susan shudders from the contact and her body lurches forward, knocking Natan back into her seat as coded Mayan symbols reflect in Susan’s eyes.
In her own mind, Natan finds herself hovering in the sky again. She sees the looming white door against the blue backdrop of the horizon. Natan stands directly in front of it and reaches out to touch the knob. She grabs it and turns the knob. A blinding light envelops her as she slowly enters.
Natan sits with Josh on the couch, as Susan speaks in a trance-like state. “You are
the one…the prevention…our last hope. Katherine Elizabeth Natan, you are humanity’s last chance.” Susan grips Natan’s hand, not letting go. Natan’s eyes are glazed.
Josh tries to reach her. “Agent Natan.” Josh jumps up off the couch to help free Natan from Susan’s grip but finds himself entangled between the two.
“Protect yourself,” Susan warns, grabbing Natan tighter. “You must protect yourself.” Natan’s eyes turn black, fading into her deepest memory.
Inside a home, a mother stands over a bassinet staring at a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. She cries gently as she tries to touch the baby, but cannot. She backs away. Looking up, the mother begs, “Please forgive me, God…for having such a child.”
On the couch, Natan’s voice fills in the mother’s words, “I am but an instrument, strumming the strings of time. Our innocence is tainted by existence.” A confused Josh watches Natan as she sits on the couch, speaking the mother’s words. Natan continues, almost as if she’s chanting, “We all succumb, as time ticks away pervasively. Moment by moment. A flicker. A blink.”
Inside the home the mother stands holding and stroking a cross dangling from a necklace around her neck as she speaks. Natan’s voice fills in her words, “In one breath a little more innocence fades. You catch your breath…and try to hold on to the little that remains…and then you realize the impossibility of this task.”
The mother backs up toward the foot of a bed in the room. Crying, she kneels down, still holding her cross. “Forgive me, Lord. Please forgive me.”
A terrified Josh struggles between Natan and Susan, finally succeeding in disconnecting the two. Once the physical connection is broken between Natan and Susan, they return to normal. Josh tries to temper the fact that he is greatly disturbed by the unfolding events. “Are you okay?”
“What just happened?” Natan asks.
Susan pushes herself off of the couch. “I’ve never experienced anything like this.” She attempts to tidy up her disheveled clothes.
Natan runs her fingers through her hair. “Things just get weirder and weirder.”
Josh leans in to Natan. “Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.”
Susan addresses both of them. “You’re lucky you both came.”
“Lucky?” Natan retorts.
Susan looks at Natan. “You’re in danger, Agent Natan.” She tidies her hair. “Use that knowledge to help yourself.”
Josh is clueless. “What are you guys talking about?”
Natan replies, “I saw it, Professor. And now, we have to find the answers.”
“Saw what? Answers to what?”
Susan addresses Natan. “You accomplished the first step. You’ve begun the journey, now take the next step. Follow your intuition, Agent Natan. I’ll be here to help you if you need me.”
Josh, Natan, and Susan stand dazed and stare at one another.
Chapter Thirty-seven
2001
A church in central Baltimore is decked out in traditional Christmas holiday adornments, with red and green cloth streaming down pillars on either side and poinsettias lining every wall. Ms. Malin, a devoted
woman in her fifties, kneels on the first pew in front of the altar praying. She raises her head and crosses herself in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, then stands and walks up to the altar.
Ms. Malin stands behind the altar looking out at the empty church as sun streams in through the stained glass windows. She reaches behind the altar through a curtain and retrieves some items for the sacrament, gently placing a bowl with the body of Christ to her left as she places a chalice to her right. Reaching down once again, she retrieves a sacrament cloth, gently folding it in two. Ms. Malin can hear the door open in the front of the church. Still holding the sacrament cloth, she looks up in the direction of the entrance, squinting through the sun as shadows dance around the church. She cannot see the door from her vantage point. She hears footsteps closing in, but is unable to see, so she comes from behind the altar with cloth in hand and spots a parishioner.
She acknowledges him, “Good morning, Sir. Mass doesn’t begin until noon, though you’re welcome to pray if you like.”
The parishioner stands in front of the smiling Ms. Malin. “I’m so glad you look like you’re having a good day, because I’m not really here to pray, Ms. Malin.”
Ms. Malin’s smile fades into a look of shock as she backs up. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
The parishioner closes in. “No…but I know you,” he says, as he grabs her by the arm. The cloth falls and hits the ground.
“What are you doing? Let me go,” a frightened Ms. Malin pleads.
“I must have a word, please.” The parishioner pushes Ms. Malin toward a door behind the altar.
“Please…don’t…I’m a woman of God. I have nothing you want,” she begs.
“You may have the one thing I desire most.” The parishioner opens the door and pushes Ms. Malin inside the tiny cloaked room. He looks around to make sure no one sees him and then he enters the room after her as he pushes her down onto a chair toward the back of the room. He continues, “Make yourself comfortable, Ms. Malin. I have just a few questions for you and I’ll be on my way.”
