“Go down on her.” Cole barks another order, and I suddenly realize why he’s doing this. It’s so fucking obvious now. He knows about me and Gabriel. He knows Gabriel’s listening in. He’s doing this on purpose, he’s manipulating this shit and it’s sick and wrong but there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it. “You hear what I say there, son? You never put your tongue in a woman’s pussy before?”
Theo ignores him, and I keep my eyes closed, my fingers gripping the sheet tight as I feel his mouth touch me, and I’m wet, despite this warped scenario. I’m wet, and he finds that wetness and he licks me with soft, light flicks of his tongue and I know he’s done this before. He’s no amateur. And I know the only way I’m going to get through this; the only way either of us are going to get through this is to pretend that bastard isn’t here; pretend we’re alone, and I’m trying to do that. I am.
“Now suck her tits; finger fuck her.”
Cole’s voice interrupts the pretence, but I keep my eyes closed and try to return to that place in my head I’ve created as Theo’s mouth moves to my breasts, kissing one then the other, his tongue flicking across my nipples as he slides his fingers inside me. And I gasp, my body bucking as he thrusts his fingers deep, pushes hard; bites down gently on my nipple. I cry out quietly, arching my back, pulling him in deeper, and I realize that I want to feel him fully inside me now. I want his cock not his fingers, and I feel sick that I feel that way, but I’m throwing myself into this shit now. I have to. I have to play Cole’s game.
But he seems to have stopped barking instructions now, and I briefly open my eyes to look at Theo, and he gets the message. He nods, and I close my eyes again and I open my legs wider and when he enters me I cry out loud; when his fingers slide between mine I moan quietly, and I let my body fall into a slow, gentle rhythm as it moves against his. And then the pace quickens, and I’m vaguely aware of Cole’s voice in the background but I can’t make out what he’s saying, all I can hear is mine and Theo’s breathing as he thrusts into me a little harder, and I take him deeper, angling my body so he falls into me. And when we come it’s within seconds of each other, him first, and I follow, our bodies moving together in a joint climax, his fingers tightening around mine as it washes over us both, one big, sick, twisted wave of pleasure.
“You OK?” he whispers as he slowly pulls out of me, and I nod.
“Did I say you could talk?”
Cole’s voice breaks the moment, and Theo lets go of me and stands up, digging his hands into his pockets as he walks over to Cole, right up in his face, so close to him I feel my stomach turn in a somersault of nerves.
“You get everything you need, you sick, fucked up prick?”
Cole laughs that cold, cold laugh again but Theo stands his ground, his expression doesn’t waver. “For the minute, yeah. I got enough.”
“Can she go now?”
Cole looks over at me, his own expression impassive. I can’t tell what the hell he’s thinking. “She can go.”
I grab my dress and hurriedly pull it back on, and I take the hand Theo holds out for me as he pulls me toward the door. But then he stops, and he looks back at Cole.
“About Dom. Your contacts…”
“I ain’t going back on my word, son. Everything’s still going forward.”
Theo says nothing to that, he just opens the door and pulls me outside, and we don’t stop until we’re out in the compound. We don’t stop until we’re on his bike heading for home. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that I’ll be sleeping in his bed tonight. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t…
Gabriel
I drain the glass and immediately refill it with an over generous measure of whiskey. I don’t give a fuck, I need this drink. What I had to listen to tonight, that almost broke me. This case, it’s fucking killing me, I need it to end, I can’t do this anymore.
That sick, twisted fuck made her sleep with Theo Blane in front of him, and we had to listen to that. I had to listen to him fucking her, listen to her moans and her sighs and I swear, I was this close to giving this shit up; to confessing my feelings for her. But I pulled it back, because when all’s said and done I have a job to do, and I can’t fuck that up. I’m not that man.
I get up and walk over to the window, looking out at the quiet street outside, and I know I’m not staying here, once this is over. I can’t. Too many memories; too much messed up shit.
When this is over Skye’s going to need a whole new life.
When this is over I want a new life.
And I wish with every beat of my fractured, fucked up heart that we could have that life together.
But we can’t.
We can’t…
Chapter Eleven
Theo
She’s still asleep, and I leave her in bed. After last night I don’t think a lie-in is gonna hurt anyone. So I quickly wash and head into the kitchen to fix breakfast, my cell ringing out the second I put the eggs on. I look at the caller ID. Unrecognized number – it’s Dom. I answer immediately, my heart beating hard and fast because if this is bad news…
“Hey, baby bro.”
“What’s up, Dom?”
“What’s with the anxious voice? I told you I’d call when I had a time, didn’t I? I have a time. I’m calling you.”
I breathe out. Of course he said he’d call. All that shit last night’s got my head so messed up, and if Mack thinks, even for one second, that I’ve lost focus…
“So, what’s happening?” I ask, pulling the eggs off the stove.
“It’s a late night transfer, kiddo. Due to pass through your neck of the woods around ten to midnight, Thursday.”
“Same route?”
“Heard no different. All set your end?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re all set.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, bro. And Theo? Thanks. For doing this.”
“I had nothing to lose. Right?”
He stays silent, but I already know his answer. The line goes dead and I throw down the phone, dropping my head and sighing heavily.
“Now that doesn’t sound like a man with no worries.”
I look up and she’s standing there, wearing one of my T-shirts, looking all beautiful and bedraggled and I just want to take her hand and get the hell out of this shit hole. But we can’t do that. And I’m overcome with a feeling of such utter despair, it just engulfs me. And she senses that, and she runs over to me, pulls me into her arms and she holds me. She just holds me, and that somehow makes everything feel better, if only for a brief moment.
“I’ve just spoken to Dom.”
She pulls back and she looks at me, gently stroking my cheek with her thumb. “Everything OK?”
“The transfer – they’re due to drive through here around ten to midnight tomorrow night, so, I guess it’s game on, huh?”
Her eyes search mine, but there’s nothing to find. No solution to this crap, no happy ever after scenario. Just a mess we can’t fix.
“Are you scared?” she asks, and there’s fear in her eyes now, I can see it.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m scared.” I take her hand and raise it to my mouth, kissing it gently, stroking her knuckles with my thumb. “I’m fucking terrified, Skye, but… what I said yesterday…”
She pulls her hand away from mine and folds her arms against her chest, stepping back from me. “That can’t happen, Theo.”
“Why not? Why can’t it happen? Give me a reason, come on.”
“Think about it. You and Dom, you’re getting new identities, new names… I don’t even have a passport right now, I can’t go anywhere.”
“I can’t leave you here, Skye.”
“You have no choice. And deep down you know I can’t go with you. You know that.”
I drop my head again and I close my eyes. She’s right. It was a stupid idea, but I’m clutching at straws here, just trying to cling onto some shred of normality.
“We’ve got today, though. Right?”
I look up, and she’s smiling at me, and she makes me want to smile back, despite all the shit going on around us. “Yeah. We’ve got today.” I drag a hand back through my hair and sigh quietly. “You OK? After last night?”
She throws me another, slightly weaker smile, and she nods.
“Look, I’d… I’d better go call Mack. Tell him what’s going on.”
I grab my phone and turn to go.
“Theo?”
I stop and turn back around and she looks at me, but even though it seems as though she wants to say something, she stays silent.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“OK.” I watch as she turns away from me and starts making coffee. It really did look as though she wanted to say something to me just there, but she stopped herself so, maybe it wasn’t important.
And maybe it was…
Gabriel
“Jesus, Gabe, she’s playing close to the freakin’ edge here. I swear, she is gonna break, she’s gonna fucking tell him.”
“She won’t, Phil.”
“You seem very sure about that.”
“Trust me. She might think about it, but she won’t do it. She has a chance of freedom if this all works out. It’s right there in front of her, she isn’t gonna risk that. We’ve all just gotta hold on for one more day.”
One more day. A day she’s going to spend with Theo Blane, I won’t get to see her until tonight. Until then, Christ knows what I’m gonna hear.
“And you really didn’t have to be here this early, Gabe.”
Phil’s voice pulls me back from my thoughts. “What?”
“There are plenty of us working on this, you don’t need to be here 24/7.”
“I’m not here 24/7.”
“Close enough.”
He throws me that look again, and I lean back against the wall and fold my arms. “You trying to tell me something, Phil?”
“Erin’s gone now, right?”
“And that’s got what, exactly, to do with whatever the hell you’re trying to get at here?”
“Jesus, Gabe, you really want me to go there?”
“I want you to shut the hell up, keep your goddamn nose outta my private life and focus on what’s happening over the next couple of days. That’s all you need to be worried about.”
“And what about you, huh? Is that all you need to be worried about?”
I hold his gaze for a beat or two before I turn away and sit back down, pulling my headphones on.
I’ve got shit to be worried about.
I’m shutting myself off from the crap, it’s the only way.
Because I have to get through this.
We all do.
Skye
I know what Cole was doing last night. I know the way his twisted mind works. He knew there was every chance Gabriel was listening in, and that’s why he made me and Theo have sex. So Gabriel could hear. Oh, I’m not saying the bastard doesn’t get off on that kind of shit, but what he did, that was deliberate.
I lean back against Theo’s Harley and close my eyes for a few seconds. It’s a beautiful day, hot and sunny and there isn’t a cloud in the bright blue sky. I open my eyes and look up, and I realize the sky is almost the same color as Theo’s eyes, and the guilt rushes over me again. I’m betraying him, to save myself? I’m lying to Gabriel because I’m too scared that Cole will find out I’ve said something; too scared it could jeopardize my chance of freedom? But if Cole gets to me first… I have no idea what part I’m supposed to play tomorrow night, and that’s what scares me the most. The only hope I have is that Gabriel will pull me out of this mess before there’s a chance of it all going wrong, but in reality, no one really knows how it’s going to play out.
“You look deep in thought.”
I glance up at Theo as he lowers himself down beside me and hands me a beer. “I guess we’ve all got a lot on our minds.” I take a sip of beer. “Has Cole sorted the passports you and Dom need?”
He nods, and he briefly looks down. “Yeah. Mack’s got them at the clubhouse.”
“You know what your new name is?”
I’m trying to lighten a mood that can’t really be lightened. This is serious law-breaking shit going down here, and I’m trying to feed the FBI as much as I can because that’s what I’m here to do. I’m not here to care about Theo or Mack or anyone else but me. But I do care about Theo. Not like I care about Gabriel, that’s a different thing altogether. I care about Theo like a friend. A good friend. The kind of friend you really want to keep safe and close and… I’m as good as throwing him into a jail cell myself. And as far as the FBI are concerned, I’m not telling them everything, am I? And that could come back to kick my ass big time. It could ruin everything, my decision to keep quiet, to do what Cole told me to do. But it’s a risk I’m taking because I’m terrified of any other option.
Theo looks back up at me and he gives me a wan smile. “Caleb Knowles. That’s my new name. I’m a thirty-five year old lawyer who’s looking to start up a law firm in a deprived part of Panama because that’s the kind of guy I am.”
There’s a hint of cynicism in his voice, but that’s understandable.
“At least you get to go back to doing what you love, right?”
He doesn’t reply, he just holds my gaze and I feel my stomach dip. I don’t want him to have these feelings for me, it isn’t fair on him. I can’t reciprocate them. This was never meant to happen. And then he looks away, staring out ahead of him.
“Y’know, I actually thought about calling this whole thing off.”
My eyes widen as he turns to look at me again. “Theo…”
“I lay awake, last night, and for the first time I wondered whether it was all worth it.”
“Your brother is facing jail for something he didn’t do.”
“I know that, Skye. I get that. I killed a man, and Dom took the fall for me. But if I was to tell him I can’t do this, he’d back me. He’d tell me it’s OK…”
“Why?”
He drops his gaze, twisting his bottle of beer round and around between his fingers. “I could start again, Skye. We could start again.” He looks up and our eyes lock. “We could get the hell out of here and go some place no one can find us.”
“It’s not that simple, Theo.”
“Isn’t it?”
I feel my heart break a million times over as I stare at him. “No. It isn’t.”
“When you said you couldn’t come with me, I just… there has to be another way. For us to be together…”
“Listen, Theo, there isn’t… I don’t… I can’t be with you because… because I…”
“Don’t feel the same way about me as I do about you?”
“We said no ties, remember? We were just supposed to be having fun. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“I know.” He leans back against the bike and pushes a hand through his hair. “I know. But you gave me…” He bows his head and I feel the guilt engulf me all over again. “I don’t… I don’t know, Skye. I just know that I’m scared.” He raises his head and his eyes meet mine. And I see fear and pain and regret in those beautiful blue eyes, and it hurts. It really fucking hurts because I know what I’m doing to him. And I can’t stop it. “I’m fucking scared, Skye. I just want everything to be normal again. I want all this shit to go away, to have never happened, and I just want a normal fucking life. I don’t want this.”
I put down my beer and he pulls me over so I straddle him, and kissing him isn’t helping anything, I know that. But nothing can help now. This mess is so far gone, so confusing, and I don’t know how much longer I can play this game. I’m tired and I’m scared, and I just want it all to go away, too. I’m just not sure it’s going to. If anything, because of what I know – because of what Cole knows, it’s only going to get worse.
I slide my fingers into his hair and it’s wrong, I know that, doing this. Leading him on. But I think he knows this is it now. This is all it’s ever going to be, and fucking Theo means I
get to distance myself a little further from Gabriel, and then I remember I’m meeting with him tonight. So when I feel Theo touch me, feel him push my panties to one side, I grab his wrist and pull his hand away. I can’t do this. A moment of weakness made me want to, but I can’t do it.
“No,” I whisper, climbing off him. “This is wrong, Theo.”
He draws his knees to his chest and stares out ahead of him. “Wrong…” He laughs quietly and drops his head, shaking it slowly. “You wanna tell me what’s right about any of this?”
I cross my legs up underneath myself and take a long sip of beer. I can’t answer that.
“All we need to do is get on that bike and ride, Skye.”
“Theo, please…”
He reaches out and takes my hand and I let him. “You don’t have to feel the same way. About me. You just have to feel something.”
I do feel something. I feel guilt. I feel sick and exhausted and terrified of what’s coming next. But I can’t run. I can’t do that.
“We were drawn together because we’re the same, baby. Don’t you get that?”
“Please, Theo… Don’t do this, I’m begging you…”
“We’re the same, Skye. You and me. Something made us come here, to this place, because we couldn’t stay in that other world we’d once lived in. Something threw us together…”
I stand up and I walk away, I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know that I can’t do this. I can’t. It’s too fucking hard…
Gabriel
“We need to pull her the fuck outta there, Gabe.”
“Leave it, Phil. She can handle this.”
“Can she? Are you listening to this?”
“She won’t let him call it all off. Trust me. She’ll turn this around. She knows we’re listening, for Christ’s sake. What d’you think she’s gonna do? Climb on his bike and ride off into the sunset? Because that rosy picture of utopia he’s painting there, she knows that’s bullshit. And so does he, he’s just thinking with his dick right now.”
Bound (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 3) Page 13
