by Zoey Draven
Kirov straightened and spun around.
When their eyes connected through the glass, his expression shifted, tightening, and Lainey swallowed, nervous.
After their argument the previous night, after how Lainey had left him on the balcony, she wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see her again.
Please. Please open the window. Let me talk to you, let me apologize, let me explain.
Again, relief swarmed through her when he walked over the window, his magnificent body shifting and moving. Lainey’s eyes drank him in, every step he took towards her tightening her belly. She felt like she’d been starved for him. She could just…watch him all day.
Kirov opened the window, the glass disappearing into the wall. He watched her carefully, made no move towards her. Instead, he leaned his forearms on the ledge, waiting.
Lainey blew out a breath. He wouldn’t make this easy for her. Rightfully so.
“I—” she said, her voice breaking a little, which mortified her. She cleared her throat, suddenly so nervous it was hard to speak. “I thought you’d left already. Vixron said…”
“I got held up at the command center,” he said, his voice even.
His voice was like a drug to her, smooth and deep.
Her fingers picked at her skin and she pressed closer to the wall, closer to him.
“Were you going to say goodbye?” she asked, wanting to know. She hated how small her voice sounded.
Kirov blew out a breath, running a hand over one of his black horns. “You made your position clear to me last night, female,” he said, instead of answering her question directly.
Dread pooled in her stomach and Lainey wondered if it was too late. If he’d already decided that she wasn’t worth it, if she screwed it all up.
“Kirov…” she nibbled on her lip, feeling like an invisible clock was ticking somewhere. “Can we talk? I have some things I need to say. I wanted to apologize. Please.”
“Lani, I—”
“I’ll beg if I have to,” she said, words she never thought she’d say to him. “Please.”
Kirov looked at her, his eyes moving over her face, trying to read her, trying to determine what she was up to. The fact that he didn’t trust her stung a little, but then again, Lainey had given him no reason to trust her.
Finally, he straightened from the window and said, “Tev. We can talk. But not here.”
“Where then?” she asked, her knees shaking again. “I’ll go anywhere.”
His expression flashed with something that Lainey couldn’t read.
“The meadow?” she suggested, hoping that he would understand her unspoken meaning. That by going back to the place where she’d opened up to him a little, where they kissed for the first time, where they were intimate, he would understand that she wanted a re-do of that night, that she wanted to start fresh.
Kirov told her, “Go down the back of the dwelling and meet me at the hovercraft. Stay hidden until I come get you. Tev?”
Excitement and relief mingled in her breast. Kirov was much too good for her. If their positions were reversed, Lainey would’ve slammed the window in his face.
Then again, maybe that was balance.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll meet you out front.”
She didn’t deserve him, but Lainey hoped that maybe he would see she was trying to be better. For him.
One step at a time, she thought.
Chapter Eighteen
Kirov took a steadying breath, hurtling them towards Troxva in his hovercraft. The supplies and belongings that Kirov had loaded in beforehand were slowing their pace, but with luck, Vaxa’an wouldn’t realize that Lani was gone until late morning tomorrow.
Because eventually, Vixron would grow suspicious as to why she hadn’t emerged from her sleeping quarters. And the moment he found her gone, he would immediately alert Vaxa’an.
Whether the Prime Leader would immediately come after them or not, he didn’t know. They would reach Troxva hopefully before she was found missing and his longtime friend and warrior brother would try to hail him there on the Coms first.
Kirov would explain, but it wouldn’t make him regret capturing her and taking her right out from underneath Vaxa’an’s protection. She was his fated mate, whether she wanted to accept it or not.
Vaxa’an could strip him of his rank, take Troxva away, and exile him from Luxiria because of his actions, but Kirov would never regret it.
Lani was standing in the circle of his arms, like a couple nights ago, pressed between his body and the control panel. There was still much to be said between them and Kirov knew that once she realized they were going the opposite direction of the mountain ranges, she would be furious.
But Kirov would take her fury. He would absorb it and bury it inside him until she understood.
He’d been surprised when she’d showed up at his window and he was still wary about what she wished to discuss with him. Especially once she found out he deceived her.
Fabric whipped around his legs and he looked down, his Instinct purring its approval seeing her in a traditional Luxirian dress. It was a deep, deep blue that contrasted beautifully with her red hair. Her skin appeared luminous against the rich, dark color.
“Where did you get this?” he murmured down to her, running his fingers down one of the straps, eliciting a shiver from her.
Whether she wanted to admit it or not, her body certainly recognized Kirov as her mate.
They hadn’t spoken a single word since they left until now and Kirov longed to hear her voice.
“Kate,” she responded, tilting her head up to look back at him.
He tried to read her expression, wondering what seemed different about her. But something was different and it wasn’t just the dress. There was a softness in her gaze that hadn’t been there before.
“Do you like it?” she asked, her voice shy and hesitant, like she wanted him to like it, like she wanted to please him.
“Tev,” he said. “It is beautiful.”
Once they reached Troxva, he would have a couple dozen more made for her from the best seamstress in the outpost.
His female flushed in pleasure and they dropped back into silence.
They had only been flying for another handful of moments before Lani began looking around at the landscape, her neck turning, searching for something that was familiar to her and finding nothing.
“Um, shouldn’t we be there by now?” she questioned, confusion infused in her tone. “Where are we? Are we going somewhere else?”
Kirov inhaled a slow breath. He looked over his shoulder and could no longer see the Golden City in the distance. They were out of sight and safe for the night.
“Kirov,” Lani said, squirming in his arms to face him.
She looked up at him and Kirov saw the exact moment she realized what was happening. Her eyes flickered over to the travel sacks he’d loaded into the hovercraft and she gasped, her lips parting, her eyes darting to his.
“We…we’re not going to the meadow, are we?” she asked slowly, her neck craned up to confront him directly.
He might all well tell her right then, though she already knew.
“Nix, female,” he said, just as slowly. “We are not going to the meadow.”
“You…” she blinked, her eyes widening, and then that familiar spark of anger lit her gaze. “You just kidnapped me without me knowing it! You’re taking me to Troxva, aren’t you?”
He exhaled an impatient breath. “You are hardly a child, so nix, I did not do this ‘kidnapping’ to you.”
“That—that’s not the point,” she returned. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you. You had me thinking you weren’t even going to say goodbye and you were planning to take me all along, weren’t you?”
Kirov would not deny it. “Tev, I was always coming for you this night. You just showed up at my window first, saving me the trip.”
Lani’s mouth dropped open. “You—you—ugh!”
Kirov looked over her head, to the stars, to his Coms on the control panel, ensuring they were on a direct path for Troxva before he turned on the auto-pilot mode.
If they flew through the night, they would reach his outpost by mid-morning, possibly later, depending on how much drag they experienced with the load he was hauling back.
“You wish to fight about this,” he said. “I am prepared for it.”
“You could have, oh, I don’t know…asked!”
Kirov narrowed his eyes.
“You made it quite clear that you saw no future for us,” he bit out and something flashed in Lani’s eyes. Something that looked like…guilt. “So, nix, I did not ask. I acted, because I already knew what your answer would be.”
“It doesn’t make it okay,” she said, though some of the indignant anger had lessened in her voice. She inhaled a long breath. “You can’t make big decisions like this without consulting me. I’ve felt terrible all night and all day and here you were, planning to take me to Troxva whether I wanted to go or not.”
“Your place is with me,” he growled. “Until you realize that, I will be making more decisions like this when it concerns you, when it concerns us.”
Lani’s eyes flared, her nostrils flared, and her mouth tightened.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered, turning back around to face the control panel, crossing her arms over her chest.
Kirov cursed under his breath, running a hand over his horn. He felt like he was losing his goddamn mind. Ever since last night, he’d felt…unhinged.
“Female…” he said, softening his tone, reaching out to touch a lock of her hair.
“No,” she said, her tone clipped. “I’m mad at you. We will talk later once I calm down.”
Kirov blew out a breath, but he knew that she needed time. She would forgive him eventually.
She had to.
Turning from her, he crouched down in front of one of the travel sacks he’d loaded and shook out a fur blanket he’d packed from his sleeping platform.
He approached her and carefully draped it around her shoulders, wanting to keep her warm during their journey at the very least. He doubted she would let him hold her at this point.
“Thank you,” she sniffed, her tone remaining like steel, her back straight and still. But for some reason, as he watched her pull the blanket tighter, Kirov fought back a small grin.
“You are welcome, female.”
Chapter Nineteen
Lainey woke sometime the next morning to the sound of gentle wind and the beauty of an even gentler sunrise.
Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, praying she hadn’t been drooling in her sleep, she looked up from her position on the floor of the hovercraft to see Kirov, still standing at the control panel, still awake.
Blinking the sleep from her eyes and immediately combing her fingers through her hair, she pushed up from the floor, her back twinging with discomfort. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but there was a blanket pushed underneath her head and another draped over her body to keep her warm.
Her heart thumped hard at the knowledge he’d tried to make her comfortable.
“Where are we?” she asked, her voice scratchy, feeling oddly vulnerable that she’d slept in front of him. She just hoped she hadn’t been snoring.
Still sitting with her back to the wall of the hovercraft, keeping the blanket secured around her shoulders, she peeked over the edge to see an entirely different landscape than what she’d been expecting. Whereas the land surrounding the Golden City was like a desert, with sand spreading in all directions, peaked with gothic, yet lovely, mountains, wherever they were had given way to lush greenery, huge lakes of water so dark, they looked filled with coffee, and meadows and fields.
“Come,” he murmured, holding out his hand for her. After a moment of hesitation, she took it and let him secure her between his body and the control panel. He lifted his arm and said, “A pack of trixava. It is rare to see them this east. We near Troxva.”
Lainey peered to where he was gesturing and a little thrill of excitement went through her when she saw a large herd of dark-haired beasts, not unlike buffalos, drinking out of one of the lakes they passed over. They were too high to see their features, but even from this distance, Lainey could see they were huge.
“We are almost there?” she repeated, looking from the herd of animals to the surrounding area. The sunrise made everything ten times as beautiful and Lainey had a feeling that even if she could take a picture of the view, it would never capture everything.
This place had to be experienced, not captured.
“Tev,” he said, looking down at her. Always direct, he asked, “Are you still upset with me?”
“Maybe,” she whispered, though if she was being honest, a little bit of much-needed sleep had helped dull it.
And yeah, Kirov had totally tricked her and kidnapped her from the Golden City.
Then again, Lainey had lied to his face about believing in the whole Instinct thing and had hinted that the night they’d been in the meadow hadn’t meant anything to her.
So really, she figured they were kind of…even? Still, Lainey had a lot to apologize for.
Besides, she’d made up her mind when it came to him and she intended to follow through with that commitment.
“If you would’ve asked me, I would’ve said yes, Kirov,” she told him quietly.
She felt his arms tighten around her middle and he turned her to face him, studying her features with a frown.
“I do not know if I believe you,” Kirov admitted.
That stung, but in time, Lainey hoped to earn his trust.
“It’s the truth,” she said, taking a deep breath, bringing her hands up slowly to place them on his chest. Ignoring the way he tensed, she felt his heartbeat pulse against her palms and said, “I wanted to apologize for how I treated you a couple nights ago. I got scared and I tried to push you away. It’s what I do. And it tore me up inside, knowing that I’d…that I’d hurt you.”
Kirov’s brow furrowed and his eyes flickered back and forth between her own, as if trying to figure out what her motives were. As if he was mistrustful of her words.
“Why this change so suddenly?” he asked, his tone low and deep. He cocked his head to the side, his long hair tickling the backs of her hands.
“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking since that night,” Lainey said, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “Reflecting on how I treat others and why. I’ve been a coward and I’ve been mean and I try to cut other people before they have a chance to cut me.” It was hard saying these things to him out loud, but Lainey needed to. She just hoped that he believed her. “And…I—I want to be better. I want to not be so afraid anymore. I don’t want to hurt people anymore, especially you. I’m sorry, Kirov. I hope you can forgive me.”
Lainey didn’t realize that she was trembling. She’d never been good at confrontation, about admitting her wrongs. She was so bad at it that her body was literally rebelling against her.
Something in Kirov’s gaze softened and hope lit up her chest when he stroked one of his hands through her hair. He let out a deep exhale that softened his tight muscles and he grumbled, tilting his head down, “Kiss me, female.”
Hope.
Lainey’s breath hitched and she immediately leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes fluttering shut as he moved his mouth against hers.
His hands came to her waist and the blanket dropped from her shoulders when she slid her hands from his chest to wrap around his neck. Head spinning, she smiled and he licked her teeth with his tongue, asking for entrance, which she gave without hesitation.
When Kirov pulled away, she swayed a little on her feet, her eyes dazed, her lips stinging.
“Does…does this mean you forgive me?” she asked, breathless. “That you’ll give me another chance?”
“Tev,” he murmured. “With a condition.”
She frowned.
“You m
ust forgive me too,” he rasped and she bit her lip, trying to hide her smile.
“On a condition,” she said.
“You are giving my condition a condition?” he clarified, his lips twitching, shaking his head.
“Yes, and it’s that you can never kidnap me again without my knowledge, that you have to ask about things like this. Okay?”
“Fair enough, female,” he murmured. Then his expression went a little serious as he asked, “What does this mean then?”
“Wasn’t the kiss obvious?” she asked, a little shy again. Shy about these kinds of things, in general, really.
“Say it, female,” he demanded and Lainey would never admit it, but she might really like when he was a little bossy. Just not too bossy. When he was like that, she would just sass him until he stopped.
She bit her lip and said softly, “I’ve noticed you haven’t called me luxiva yet.”
His expression tightened. “Nix, I have not.”
Lainey licked her lips and said, “I…I wish that you would again.”
Her little confession would tell him all he needed to know.
Kirov closed his eyes, a tremendous amount of tension releasing from his body at her words. Lainey hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding it in, how much he’d needed to hear her say it.
A guilty ping radiated in her chest, but she would make up for it. She needed to. She wanted to.
“Luxiva.”
She smiled, her heart fluttering. “Yes?”
“Tell me again what this means.”
Lainey fiddled with a lock of his hair and behind him, she saw the sky turn a glorious bright pink.
“It means,” she started, “that I’ll be open to this, to you. That we can take this relationship one day at a time and see where it leads. And I promise I won’t fight with you about it and I’ll do my best not to freak out on you. But just a warning in advance, that if it does happen, I just need you to push against me and tell me I’m being an asshole, okay?”
That crooked little grin returned and Lainey felt like she’d won something when it appeared.
