It was hard not to fall for him when all she could see was a man she wanted her sons to resemble.
Yes, she had already admitted to herself that she was falling in love with Allan when they had danced to a slow, soft band in a small, candlelit café in Florence. He’d hummed the tune in her ear as he held her close as they moved slowly in a circle. That was the moment she knew she was lost to him.
She thought a lot about it, making her mind stray on the idea of not telling him they would need to start using condoms soon, so that she could get ‘accidentally’ pregnant. She chastised herself for allowing that thought of betrayal against Allan. Her conscious was heavy with guilt for a while until two words plagued her mind…‘Why’ and ‘Not’.
Why not?
She knew she shouldn’t entertain the thought, but it was becoming clearer every day that she loved this man and she would never love another the same way. It hurt her to know he would never love her, and she only seemed to mean ‘something’ to him because she was the only companion who he had wanted to stay the longest with him on a trip.
So if she couldn’t have him, why not have a piece of him?
Riana rubber her forehead and sighed. She was beginning to get a headache from everything that was going on in her mind.
Loraine would call her an idiot right about now. And Reno would call her his naïve little sister for falling for the man’s grandeur like their mother had and foolishly believed that a child—their child—would be a symbol of their love. A symbol that would only be hidden away from the public like they had been.
But Mama would understand me.
Riana groaned, leaning her head back against the backrest of the long, plush seat of the executive cabin. Yes, her mother would welcome her to the foolish-women-in-love-with-unreciprocating-men Club.
What am I thinking?
“Are you all right?” Allan’s voice brought her out of her thoughts.
His husky baritone made her shiver with anticipation like it always did when he whispered in her ear right before he made love to her.
She stared at the man she was foolishly falling in love with. “Huh?”
He pointed to her with his pen. “You are clutching your belly. Do you have a stomach ache?”
Riana looked down at her belly. Her hand had absently moved there. Not to clutch it but to rub it like expectant mothers do.
She pulled her hand away, shook her head and forced a smile. “I’m fine, just tired.”
He leaned away from the desk and turned to her. His brow was slightly up in an expression she had come to recognize as indecision. It was rarely there and she’d only noticed it in Milan, when she’d asked him to help her decided between two pairs of shoes she liked. The brow was up there for only a moment before he gave up and purchased both, of course ignoring her protests.
She now had two suitcases full of shoes and jewelry and three others just full of clothes.
She pulled her lips in a more convincing smile. “I promise, I’m just tired, but my body is too wired to rest.”
His brow rose higher, his lips mirrored it in a lopsided grin. “Well, I can remedy that,” he whispered huskily, and Riana swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat before the excitement chocked her. But she had a feeling her erratic heart would take her out first.
She watched the sultry look take form on his face. He slowly pushed out of the seat and approached her like a predator to its prey.
Riana nibbled on her lower lip nervously. She knew what was coming but she couldn’t help feeling nervous with all the anticipation.
He bent down and gathered her into his strong arms without a word, just a look that spoke volumes, setting her even more ablaze. He pushed the sliding door that separated the bedroom and the rest of the cabin open and deposited her on the bed. He straddled her, slowly pulling his T-shirt over his head. Riana couldn’t help but watch lustfully as the muscles on his torso and arms ripped at the movement. She couldn’t tear her eyes away either, when he unfastened the top button of his khaki pants and slid the zipper slowly down.
Oh my, she thought unable to lift her dead tongue to say the words.
Allan leaned down and snaked his hands under her shirt, slowly pushing it up, kissing the exposed skin, and quickly driving her crazy. She closed her eyes and her head dropped on the duvet, her body trembled at the torturing ministrations.
“I know just how to tire your body so that you can sleep,” he whispered into her ear then pulled the lobe into his wet, warm mouth, making her gasp.
She let him exhaust her body for almost an hour. He then held her close and didn’t leave her until she was fast asleep. When she woke up, she picked his T-shirt up off the floor and shrugged it on before she slid the door open.
Alan was at the desk working away—shirtless. It took a good ten minutes of her observing him, her heart tied up in familiar, painful knots, before he noticed her presence.
He leaned back in his seat and smiled at her. “How do you feel?”
She leaned her head against the door frame and answered softly, “Rested, thanks.”
“If not, I could always tire you out again.” He wiggled his brows and chuckled.
Riana shook her head with a smile. There was nothing she wanted more, but at that moment she needed something else.
“Do you need anything?”
She nodded. For you to love me back.
She crossed the cabin to him and sat on his lap and cuddled herself against his bare chest. “Just hold me.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Riana, what’s wrong?”
Everything. “Nothing. I just want to be in your arms for a few minutes.”
He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “Okay but you’ll have to get dressed soon. We’ll be stopping in fifteen minutes.”
“Then hold me for ten.”
Riana knew she needed to stop pitying herself or risk ruining the rest of the trip. She needed to pull her big girl panties on, burry her feelings, and take this trip as what it was from the start—a rebound affair.
Or…she could pretend this was a romantic getaway equal to the honeymoon they would never have and be happy with that delusion.
Riana snuggled closer against him, prompting him to tighten his hold on her. She nuzzled her nose in his neck and inhaled his fresh rainforest scent.
She was going with the latter.
* * * *
Allan watched Riana as they walked down the beach. She looked beautiful and very full of life as she played in the water. She dodged the waves with a squeal, her face lighting up when she laughed. It was hard not to laugh with her—her mood was infectious. That and the few glasses of wine they’d consumed.
No one went to Naples and left without tasting most, if not all, of the wine it offered and of course carrying some bottles along with them. Riana loved wine. She was no coinsurer but she knew enough to get by. By the time she’d had her fifth glass, she was laughing giddily like a child on a sugar high.
Kind of like now. Allan chuckled and shook his head as he watched her jump the tiny wave.
They’d finished with the train leg of their trip and Allan made sure she enjoyed her days touring, forcefully buying everything that made her eyes twinkle. Her nights were wined and dined followed with a bout of lovemaking that lasted to the early hours of the day. She wasn’t too amused to find out she’d have a designer ensemble for dinner in each city they hit. She’d decided to put her foot down in Milan, backing her protest with the fact that she didn’t have enough space in her suitcase.
In response, Allan just bought five suitcases, large enough to smuggle a body in and a rack of clothes from all the designers in the city as a counter. She’d stood in the room full of clothes, nibbling on her lower lip, her brows furrowed together, wringing her fingers as she waged an inner battle on whether to hold on to her resolve or cave.
She’d finally caved, guiltily picking ten head to toe outfits.
He could tell she was
a little sad when they reached Bari. The train rides were over and she couldn’t watch the vast landscapes anymore. They’d also discovered making love in the train made things extra interesting. Allan missed that about the train most. But it also reminded him of the only time she’d seen him lose her temper. It had been a month since, and they hadn’t even bothered discussing it.
Allan was fine letting it go until she was ready to discuss it, but she was too distracted enjoying her trip and he’d grown impatient. He needed to know what had happened, and had a feeling whatever it was, was the reason why he felt like he had to overcompensate.
And maybe he’d finally be able to figure out why the hell he cared about her so much!
“Riana, I know you wouldn’t want to talk about this but I need to know. A few weeks ago, when you broke down about my misguided career, what brought that on?”
She stopped. Her face was void of the brightness that was there only a moment ago as she drew her lower lip into her mouth. Oh shit, shouldn’t I have asked?
“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
She released her lip and smiled. “It’s all right.” She resumed walking but kept silent.
Allan followed close behind but not touching her, hoping the small distance would give her the space she needed.
He heard a small intact of breath before she spoke. “I wasn’t born yet before my mother brought us to the States from New Providence. Reno was only four.”
“Bahamas? Why would your mother want to leave paradise? People pay big bucks to vacation in a place she called home,” Allan joked, hoping to lighten her somber mood. She chuckled, but it didn’t have any life in it. That worried Allan. “Shouldn’t I have said that?”
She shook her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders. “Only my mother would move to another continent to try and escape a broken heart,” she whispered, her voice hitched at the end.
Allan moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Riana stopped and pressed herself against him. Allan wrapped his arms around her tighter, giving her the comfort she craved.
“You don’t have to continue.”
“I want to,” she said, then pulled away from him and began walking. “My mother loved my father so much she ignored the telltale signs. He never spent the night in her home, they never spent time together in public, and he never proposed marriage, even when she told him she was pregnant.” She chortled bitterly. “He asked her not to tell anyone that Reno was his despite the fact that he carried his last name.”
Allan felt his heart go out to her. “He was married wasn’t he?”
She nodded, keeping her face adverted from him, “She’d been with the man for five years and it took being pregnant with me for her to finally open her eyes. She went looking for him at his hotel only to encounter his gorgeous wife.”
Allan wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t like a married man keeping a mistress was a new thing, but watching her try to hide the hurt crushed him. “Is that when she left?”
She nodded. “He begged her to stay but my mom said she felt too guilty to listen to anymore lies. After she found out she was carrying a girl she said she didn’t want me to follow in her footsteps. To give everything of myself to a man who didn’t love me and could never love me. She didn’t want me to be used or come second in a man’s life.”
She looked at him then. Allan felt a growing discomfort in his chest. For some reason, he felt like she was addressing him. He wanted to ask her if that’s how she saw their relationship or whatever this was, but she turned away from him and kept talking.
“So she came here to start fresh and joined a textile company. She didn’t make much but we were comfortable. We had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food on the table. Despite the fact my mom still cried for him when she thought we were asleep and couldn’t hear her, we were happy.”
Riana paused and swallowed. Her eyes batted like she was trying to keep from crying. Allan felt a twist in his gut. The hard part was coming.
“Then, when I was twelve, the textile company was shut down. It was sold to someone who took it apart and sold it off like car parts. Three thousand workers were left jobless. My mom didn’t want us to move to the projects, so she worked three jobs to pay the rent and utilities and my brother worked after school to put food on the table. For two years I was practically alone. I hated those two years.”
She quickly swiped at the wetness on her cheek and smiled. “But things got better. Reno went to community college and I finished high school and found a job to help my mom. She wanted me to join Reno, but I wanted to stay home and take care of her for a change.”
Allan felt like there was more to it, but he wasn’t going to push it. It made him feel helpless when she cried and he didn’t like that. “How did you get to NYU?”
She chuckled. “There was this art contest going on and I did an abstract painting of my mom’s home from one of her pictures. But I didn’t send it in. Two weeks later, I get this letter saying I won the scholarship to NYU. My mom had given it to Reno to send in. She said just because she lacked the money to send two children to school didn’t mean God wouldn’t provide. I was so happy I quit my job the next day to get ready for New York. I know to you it may seem like nothing, but we made an event out of it.”
Allan cupped the back of her head and pulled her close to him. He kissed her temple. “Hey, getting a scholarship isn’t easy. You accomplished it and I’m proud of you.”
She looked up at him, unsure. “You really mean that?”
He nodded. “Of course! I am very proud of you, Riana.” It amazed him how much he actually meant it. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Now tell me about the road trip.”
She laughed. “We drove from Florida to New York. We had road trip music and car games and took turns driving. It was wonderful. And when we got to NYU I cried like a baby. Saying goodbye to them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Allan could see that. She had such a soft heart it amazed him she didn’t cry because the sun came up. “I’m sure it was only a few weeks before you saw them again.”
Allan watched as her eyes glazed over and filled with tears but her smile remained. That worried him. “Riana?”
“They got into a car accident. My mom died instantly. I thought I was going to lose Reno too, but he’s a fighter. He lived, but I still lost him.”
Allan drew her into his arms and hugged her. “Oh, Riana! Babe, I’m so sorry!”
She shook her head, wrapping her arms around his waist. “He was deported. They said his paperwork was forged and he had to leave the country immediately. He woke up from a six week coma to be deported two weeks later. At least I had two weeks with him.”
“Why didn’t you go with him?”
“He wouldn’t let me. He said I had school and I couldn’t disappoint Mom. He was already going back to New Providence to run our father’s hotel anyway. He inherited it after the man died. Three months before my mom.” She sighed. “And now Reno’s happily married and I’m back to being alone again.”
Allan wanted to tell her she was wrong. That she had Loraine and him but…he was only in her life temporarily. “What was your father’s name?”
“Reno Ruiz Albury.” she scoffed. “His mother’s name was Riana. How did she expect to forget the man by naming me after his mother?”
Allan took her hand in his a squeezed. “You blame him for what you went through, don’t you?”
“If I don’t blame him, then who should I blame? It’s because of him Mom left New Providence. She probably would still be alive, living quietly and burden free in her house at the beach.”
And you wouldn’t be here. You would be with her in that house on the beach and not with me. I would never have met you. The thought depressed Allan. As much as he would like to distance himself from her, she had changed him and made him better. He hadn’t been this relaxed and happy in a long time.
Allan was grat
eful that she’d confided in him but he didn’t see himself being so open with her. Not yet anyway. Now, he was more determined to make the rest of the trip perfect for her.
They remained in a comfortable silence as they walked hand in hand up the dock to the yacht. Allan was excited to see her reaction once she saw his yacht. Aurora was his pride and joy, the best thing he’d ever owned and if he could, he would live in her all his life and not only for the two or three days he stole away from work on occasion.
She stopped and gasped. “Allan is this it?”
Allan laughed, winding his arms around her waist and hugging her back against his chest. “She’s the other woman in my life. Do you like her?”
“She’s beautiful…and so big!” She turned her head slightly up so that her cheek pressed against his. “Are you sure you can manage her on your own?”
He kissed her cheek. “Trust me. I’ll take care of you.”
He released her and moved to stand before her. Her lower lip was in her mouth being chewed, her brows furrowed with worry. He held his hand out to her. “Riana, trust me. I wouldn’t invite you on her if I wasn’t sure I could handle her. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
Allan was surprised by how sincere his words sounded, how her trust in him mattered so much. He held his breath and waited, hoping she would put her hand in his.
She released her lip and smiled. Her face filled with excitement as she took his hand. “Can I get a turn on the wheel? I’ve always wanted to live like a pirate, except for the whole getting lost at sea or marooned on an island or sinking with the ship.”
Allan laughed. The things that went through her head! He pulled her to him and kissed her. “You are going to love sailing. It’s going to be just the two of us and the beautiful sea.”
She giggled. “I can’t wait!”
“Shall we board?”
She stepped out of his embrace, stood at attention and saluted. “Aye aye, captain.”
Her Venice Affair (The Albury Affairs) Page 10
