‘I thought you should know. I’m pregnant and I don’t want your money. Call me if you want to be a father.’
* * * *
Melody paced in the living room of Allan’s condo, switching between wringing her hands and raking them through her hair. Her nerves were shot and her patience was worn. If she had to watch her brother sit against the glass wall looking out at the Hudson River as he clutched onto a piece of paper like it was a lifeline one more day she was going to break the glass and push him out!
It had been two weeks since Matthew forced him back to the States. Two weeks of him sitting in the same spot only leaving it to use the bathroom. Two weeks of him looking out at that damn river like it was some sort of world wonder. He didn’t use another part of his condo, and if Melody hadn’t made it a point to cook and force the food down his throat, he would have starved to death.
She had left her comfortable home to sleep on her big brother’s couch so she could watch him every single minute of the day because she was afraid he might finally kill himself.
Melody fought the tears for the hundredth time that day alone, like she did every day, watching Allan decay before her eyes. This was not her brother. Her brother was already dead. He had died with Riana. She took him from her and left her with a shell of who he used to be.
When she hadn’t seen him for the past two years, she understood he wanted to mourn in private. And she was grateful to Riana because she proved to Allan that there was nothing wrong with loving with all your heart. But right now, watching what her loss was doing to him, she hated Riana. Melody had never met the woman before, but she hated her for dying.
The doorbell rang and she rushed to it. She needed a break. From Allan, from herself and especially from all the bitter feelings that filled her.
She yanked the door open and dragged Matthew in, not letting him say a word.
“Do something!” she cried, pointing at Allan.
“He still hasn’t moved from there?”
She began pacing again. “If he could drag the toilet to that stupid glass wall he would because that is the only time he does move.”
Matthew grabbed her shoulders, stopping her pacing. “I know this is getting to you. Why don’t you take a break and I’ll watch him.”
She needed than a break. She needed distance. She felt like putting a continent between them. She should leave Allan and get on with her life because he had every intention of staying stuck. She should leave him…but she couldn’t. He was all she had left.
When Allan finally woke up from his coma, she left his bedside for an entire day. Just one day to get cleaned up, organize their trip back home, and take a nap. When she came back the next day, he was gone. That was the last time she saw him for two years. She was afraid if she stepped out of the condo, he was going to disappear again, and this time she may never see him again.
She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I can’t leave him.”
“Okay. Why don’t you go to his room instead? Take a long, relaxing bath and a nap. I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t leave or do anything stupid.”
Melody nodded and covered her face with her hands. She was tired and she wanted to rest and cry. The seclusion of the bedroom would permit her to do both.
She reached the door when Matthew called her. By the expression on his face she knew she wasn’t going to like what he was going to say next.
“Melody, I know you must have forgotten because of Allan, but ah…the charity gala in Riana’s honor is tomorrow night.”
Without a word, Melody walked into the room and closed the door behind her, turning the lock.
It was after four hours of a long bath, an even longer cry, and a nap before Melody ventured out of Allan’s room. She was rejuvenated and ready to take on the care of her brother again. She opened the door and stopped when she heard Allan speak. She was a little shocked considering his recent vocabulary only consisted of six words—thanks, good morning, goodnight, and I’m sorry.
He was actually speaking, and by the tone of his voice—not lifeless and dead but affectionate and loving—she was sure he was talking about Riana. From the few words she caught, he was talking about their trip to Italy.
She took a few steps into the room. He couldn’t see her because his back was to her but Matthew did. He signaled for her to remain quiet and just listen to Allan speak.
“No, it’s all right,” Allan said without raising his head. “Come sit with us, Melody. Matthew asked me why I couldn’t get over losing Riana and I was just explaining why.”
For some reason that pissed off Melody, but her brother was talking again and she wasn’t going to jeopardize that by telling him what she thought of his precious Riana.
She sat down next to Matthew opposite Allan. He had that stupid paper he kept caressing in his hand. What the hell was written on it that had him so fixated?
The edge of his lips turned up in a faint smile. “You’ve been my little sister for twenty-two years, so I know what going on in your head.”
“And what would that be exactly?”
“You hate her. Riana. You blame her for the pain I’m in.” He looked up.
Melody pressed her lips together to keep from making a sound. For once he didn’t have that dead look in his eyes. She felt like he really saw her, unlike those other times that made her doubt her own existence.
“It’s not her fault. It’s all mine.”
“No it’s not!” she half-yelled.
Allan looked down at the piece of paper again.
Melody groaned. “For crying out loud what the hell is on that stupid paper!”
“Melody!” Matthew reproached, elbowing her.
“It’s all right.” Allan looked at her the way he used to when he was trying to gauge her next reaction to a bomb he was about to drop. “Promise not to tear it up?”
“I have a feeling if I did you would suffer another break down.” Matthew elbowed her in her side again. “All right, I promise.”
Allan looked down at the paper and stroked it. Then, with much effort on his part, he held it out to her. Melody was offended by his mistrust. She almost told him to keep it when she saw one word that practically screamed at her.
She didn’t take it. Her hands were preoccupied covering her mouth. She could do nothing about the tears, but she was not going to wail and make her brother feel worse.
Allan retracted his hand and pressed the paper to his chest. He leaned his head against the glass wall and his long hair tumbled forward to cover his face. “I failed to protect them and now you’ll never know if you were going to have a niece or a nephew.”
Melody shifted to move closer to Allan but Matthew held her back.
“Hey, tell Melody about the time you and Riana got caught making out at the Colloseum!” he said with a laugh.
Melody caught on to what he was doing. He wanted to make it okay for Allan to remember without the memories being painful.
Melody whistled. “At the Colloseum? A public, historic place! Really, Allan!”
Allan smiled and looked up at them and for the first time she was sure in two years, his eyes lit up with laughter. “It wasn’t my fault. I don’t know why, but she jumped me!” He chuckled. “She got me so hot and bothered we almost had sex against the pillar. And we would have if we weren’t interrupted.”
Melody covered her ears. “Eeeew! I don’t need the picture of my brother’s naked ass in my head!”
Another miracle happened next. Allan grabbed her hands and pulled them down, away from her ears. “The security guard thought he was in for a live porn show!”
Melody fought weakly to get out of his hold. “I still have an innocent mind! Do not corrupt me!”
Allan released her and leaned back against the glass wall. Melody felt all her hope die when he drew back into his somber cocoon.
What happened? We were making progress! Just a second ago he was laughing!
“You two would have gotten on
well together,” he whispered.
Matthew playfully punched his knee. “Probably because they were the same age!”
“I always knew you were into little girls,” Melody teased and thank God she got the result she was aiming for.
Allan chuckled. “She might have been young in age and yes, I’ll admit she had a teenage girl’s face. But she was an old soul and there was nothing innocent about her life.” His lips lifted in a leering smile. “Or her body.”
Melody slapped his knee. “Perv!”
“Why don’t you tell us about her?”
When Allan went silent, Melody echoed Matthew’s suggestion. “Tell us about your trip to Italy. I’d like to know the woman who tattooed her name on my brother’s heart.”
Allan let out a shaky sigh. “She’s my soul mate.”
She wanted to hug him when she saw tears run down his face but she knew she shouldn’t. He needed his space if he was going to talk.
Allan cleared his throat then began. “Riana Albury is the love of my life, the mother of my first child, and I’ll miss her and the life that never was.”
* * * *
Allan stood staring at the wall, biting down the pain as the memories assaulted him.
Why did they pick this place?
Fine, he had refused to set foot in what used to be New York’s Casa Italiano hotel but why out of all the other hotels did they pick this one?
He slowly raised his hand, his breathing growing labored as he moved closer to the wall. Tentatively, like he was about to touch an open flame, Allan placed his shaky hand on the wall.
His heart lurched.
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cold surface.
He could see that day in his mind like it had happened yesterday. Just standing there made him relive each and every second of the moment his life had changed forever.
Her tears and her sobs as she cried over her broken heart and the fierce determination that came after to get over her disappointment and move on.
Her startled gasp as she jumped around to face him. Her saucy, brown green eyes, red and wet from crying, as she stared up at him and the immediate babble as her mouth tried to cover her emotional state.
He rubbed at his aching chest. He missed her babbles.
How her breath hitched when he trapped her against the wall, this wall. Her heavy lidded eyes as she swallowed and the pink tip of her tongue as she absently wet her lips.
He could actually smell her, feel her breath against his neck as she pressed against the wall like a frightened cat and yet excited as she waited for what they both silently wanted.
Yes, he could relive his first encounter with Riana like it was just happening.
Why did I come here?
Because it had been two and a half years of waiting for something he was too much of a coward to do himself—Riana was right about him in that regard. Because Melody convinced him the best way to honor her memory was to make her dream come true. She had wanted to teach art, but she couldn’t because—
Allan swallowed the lump in his throat.
If Riana couldn’t teach, at least the kids with dreams like hers could get the opportunity to explore their talent.
He came because he was tired of the stress he caused his friends and sister. He’d never seen his sister cry so much—he knew it was out of frustration, sorrow, and helplessness. She’d cried even more when she saw his scars. He wanted to do this for her before he went back to his ‘could have been’ life, trying to imagine what his son or daughter would have looked like if its father wasn’t such a coward.
Would his daughter have had her mother’s smile and eyes? Would she have babbled nonsense when she was nervous or laugh just because she was happy? Would daddy’s little girl have been just like her beautiful, gentle, loving mother?
Would his son have had his eyes, his attitude as he tried to live up to the Sinclair name? How much of an impact would his mother have on his misguided career? Would he have had gotten her easy going, stop-and-smell-the-roses attitude to balance out his own serious, take-charge attitude?
It was sheer luck Allan was still alive. The scar that told of how his flesh was ripped from his side by a bullet, just like the scar on his shoulder from his venture in the burning yacht, were just symbols of his unlucky brush with death. But the lucky shot was the bullet that went into his ribs, breaking loose fragments of bone that pierced his lung causing a collapse. It was supposed to have killed him.
That lucky shot quickly turned unlucky when it failed to do its job.
But his way of thinking only caused Melody more grief. She’d cried when she saw his naked torso. He just stood there watching her anguish unable to do or even feel anything at her sorrow. He didn’t even feel present. Matthew came just in time to do what he couldn’t after a moment of horror as he too stared at the failure marked on Allan’s body.
Without a word to either of them, Allan walked into his room, went to the en suite bathroom, showered, trimmed his beard, dressed in his tuxedo that was now one size bigger, then walked back to his room, sat on his bed, and waited to be retrieved. He heard the apartment door open and close, followed by silence. He thought they had left him behind and he was spared the torture of facing society so he went back to his favorite spot only for the door to open an hour later. Matthew had come back for him, and Melody was to go to the event with his wife, Amy.
So Allan was now here at the event, wishing he wasn’t, tired of being bombarded with questions as to where he was, false concern as to how he holding up, and hypocritical interest as to what he was going to do now that he was back in the world of the living. They wanted Allan Sinclair, billionaire, businessman extraordinaire. What they didn’t seem to realize was that man wasn’t back and never would be. He’d died in that fire with Riana. All that was left of him was a shadow.
“Nothing but a shadow, that’s what I am.”
“Allan…”
Allan groaned turning away from her voice, keeping his head pressed against the cold wall. If he ignored her long enough she was bound to go away.
He heard the clip clop of her shoes as she came round to stand before him. He opened his eyes to face her and met hope and hidden agenda shining in hers.
“Allan, how are you?”
When all he did was just stare down at her wishing she would disappear, she stepped closer her hand raised, about to touch him.
“Don’t!” he whispered with just enough force to make it sound like a warning.
Her smile shook as she lowered her hand. “But Allan…my love, all I want to do is help you grieve. It’s not your fault she died in that fire.”
Allan felt the pain begin to suffocate him. He had barely heard a word after she said ‘love’. Riana’s cries filled his mind as she uttered those three words he refused to return. ‘I love you’. Then he saw the nightmare that had haunted him every night without failure and plagued him while he was awake.
Riana crying those three words as she burned in that fire, as her heart stopped beating after the report of a gunshot…all that after Anthony had—
He pressed his eyes shut as he tried to dispense of the vision and croaked out, “It is my fault.”
He turned away from her, struggling to pull air into his constricting pipes. The pain in his chest increasing with each beat his heart made.
I wish I were dead!
“Allan—”
“Theresa!”
Allan rubbed his itchy shoulder as he pulled in a deep, relieved breath into his lungs. Matthew will get rid of her!
Matthew stopped between them and Allan tuned out what they were saying, only noting that it ended with the clip clop of her shoes fading away.
“Allan…twenty more minutes and then we can leave.”
Twenty more minutes! Allan tugged viciously at his hair. He couldn’t take one more second! Hadn’t he done enough? Hadn’t he made the required appearance? He wanted to go home, back to Italy where Riana still was. B
ack to her memory and remains. That’s where he would still be if not for Matthew.
“You just have to stand next to Melody as she makes her speech, then we can leave.”
Stand next to his sister as she praised the woman he loved.
The woman he failed to protect.
The mother of the child he had practically denied when he refused to say those three little words.
No. He couldn’t do it.
Allan turned to face Matthew to say just that when his mind played a dirty trick on him.
It just couldn’t be. But how his heart came alive in his chest, beating so hard like it was ready to explode the few seconds he watched her walk down the junction that joined his hallway to hers.
“It can’t be…”
Matthew turned to look at what Allan saw before he turned back. “What?”
“Tell me you saw her?”
‘Who?”
“The woman who just passed with Melody!” he yelled.
Matthew took a cautious step back. “Black girl, long brown hair with the white, shiny dress? I don’t know who she is. She was speaking to Melody at—Allan wait!”
He didn’t. He took off running chasing after her before she disappeared.
He stopped when he turned the corner and saw her. It was really her.
God! She was dressed the same as she did for their first dinner date in Rome. She looked a vision then but now she looked like an angel.
An angel that was still alive.
“Riana!”
Chapter Twelve
Reno watched his sister as she stood at the beach looking out at the ocean like she did every single day since she came to New Providence. Every time she went missing, this was the place he found her.
The first time she disappeared, the same day she arrived in New Providence, he had the employees of Albury Hotel search for her. He found her sitting on the beach, the low waves lapping around her. He’d never been so afraid in his life. For a moment there, he thought she was going to try and drown herself.
The girl he’d left in the USA three years ago was different. This girl was always sad, pale, thin, puffy red gloomy eyes and a permanent frown on her face. When he first saw her at the airport, he wasn’t sure it was her. She didn’t even say a word to him she just collapsed into his arms, sobbing her heart out.
Her Venice Affair (The Albury Affairs) Page 18
