by D. Griffith
‘Hey Danni, thanks for agreeing to tonight, I hope your ok and I know your probably nervous about tonight. I’m here if you need to talk.’ Well, she has that right, I am, but she doesn’t need to know that. The next text is of Adam saying.
‘Hey peanut, thank you for giving mum a chance, I know how hard this must be for you. I’m grateful, I’ll see you later.’ I’m not doing this for her; I’m doing this for them. I check my email last.
[email protected]: Morning beautiful, I landed early hours last night; it’s why I never checked in. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I know you’re probably got, a ton of feelings rushing through you now, just remember ‘no fear’ you can do this Miss Shaw. I’ll see you at six.
Forever yours
J
That takes me back to the beginning, when it all started, the words ‘no fear.’ The flash backs start replaying themselves in my memory, the love and laughter. I want to scream like a little girl right now, with the excitement I feel remembering that moment and that I get to see him again. I best hurry up and get of this bed, but I must reply to him, he hates it when I don’t, he would give me a lecture.
[email protected]: Hey you! I’m glad you had a safe journey; I can’t wait to see you. Thanks, I always remember those words, it’s hard to forget. I still get surprised with you knowing everything about me, I’ve not seen you in a while and yet you know exactly how I feel, amazing. I’ll see you at six, don’t be late.
Always yours
D
I love how we can still be so noble to each other. Other people would have given up. Right Danni, move your ass, don’t start thinking of him, you’ll turn all depressed. Thanks self-conscious, isn’t she just a gem? I think maybe she has her own personality that comes when I’m sleeping.
I jump out of bed, get into my slippers and wrap my dressing gown over me, it’s still snowing outside, so you can imagine how cold it is. I need to work out what I’m wearing tonight; I think I need a coffee first.
I head towards my kitchen and go to put the coffee on and I’m startled by a voice.
“Here you go mam, already made.” I turn around and Phillip has already made me one. Isn’t it a bit weird that he’s always around?
“Oh, thanks, Phillip. Did you stay on my sofa last night? Don’t you think you should have gone home? Aren’t you supposed to change over after twelve hours?” He sat on my sofa reading the daily newspaper, not even looking at me. I click my fingers “Earth to Phillip.” He laughs and puts it down on my glass coffee table and looks my way.
“I would normally stay in the car, but it’s far too cold and yes, I was suppose to change, but Steven fell ill, they wanted someone else to fill in for him, but I told them not to bother.” I don’t mind Phillip; he’s a good friend and guard. But I can’t help but feel a bit contempt about him, there’s something off with him, it’s never happened before, because I’ve been able to trust him and he did teach me how to defend myself. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, thinking everyone is out to get me.
“Ahh right, ok, well I’ll make us some breakfast then, what do you fancy?” I ask.
“A fry up?”
“This isn’t a cafe dude; you’ll have to settle for a bacon roll.” I say, playing, but with a bit of truth, because I can’t be arsed cooking a fry up.
“Hey, you offered mam, but a bacon roll would be great.” I roll my eyes at him and go put the bacon on and go sit down on the chair opposite Phillip.
“Anyway Phillip, are you at this meal tonight? Or do you get it off with Jared being there, as Andrew will be with him.”
“Yes, I get it off, thankfully. I really don’t want to be around when the bomb goes off between you and your mother, I can see it coming, all though it’d be entertaining, but far too much drama for my liking.”
“Fair enough, I can’t blame you, so what are your plans then? Or are you just going to lurk around on people’s sofas.” I sarcastically say.
“You’re funny mam, but you’re lucky I’m here, you never know who could be lurking around your apartment. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has got through right?”
“Point taken! Not that I like the thought of being watched, I’m going to finish the bacon rolls.” I get up and walk towards the kitchen counter, quite pissed off with his remark, I can’t moan because I started it though, I wonder if I could get away with clogging him on the head.
Once I’ve made and ate breakfast, I’m more awake now, I head for a quick shower and running ideas through my head on how tonight is going to play out and even on a serious note, what the hell should I wear? Alison, was always so judgmental on what I wore. This is too nerve wrecking, suppose I can see the good side to this, that I get to see Jared, but I can’t help but think what lays ahead, whether it’s good or bad.
*****
This day has flown by, it’s just before six and Jared should be here shortly. I decided on wearing my pink polo neck, knee length dress, that clings to my body. I walk towards the mirror to get the hairspray and go over my hair with it, to keep that extra hold, I tried two braids and surprisingly, I did an ok job. I have never really been good with hair, that was always Andi, she taught me how. I’m startled by a deep voice coming from my bedroom door.
“You look good, Miss Shaw.” I turn around to see Phillip standing there.
“Thanks, Phillip. Next time knock, I could have been naked.” I say, quite irritated.
“Sorry, Mr. hall is here, he sent me to come and get you.”
“Oh right, okay, thanks, I’ll be out now.” This is going to be awkward, I have not seen him in a while and now the butterflies have kicked in, I cannot let my feelings get in the way tonight. I head from my room, towards the lounge and there he stands, in his combat jeans and white shirt with the same few buttons opened, his style never changes. It is one of the reasons why I love him, as to me, many billionaires would wear suits all the time and dress smart, but not Jared, he dresses casual like anyone else and the fact that he doesn’t see anyone below him and treats everyone as equals. Regardless of what he did back then, it cannot cover up the beauty of his soul.
He’s holding a bunch of pink roses and holding them out to me, damn, I want to run over to him and wrap my arms around him, but I don’t, I walk towards him to grab the flowers of him.
“You look beautiful as ever Miss Shaw.” He says, wrapping his left arm around me for a hug and pecks my cheek. There goes those shivers’ running through my body with his touch. I press my lips to his warm soft cheek, really wanting to go for the lips, but I have to fight the urge, I feel like there is a string pulling me towards them. I slowly drag myself away.
“Thank you, they’re beautiful and you’re looking well Mr Hall, have you had a hair cut? It doesn’t look as long as usual. I’m shocked, what happened to, I’m never getting it shorter than what it is?” He laughs at my outburst.
“What can I say, it was getting out of control, but its still longish just above my chin now.”
“You’re as bad as a girl when it comes to hair, maybe your sister rubbed off on you.”
“Funny, can you see the laughter on my face? When are you and my sister going to bite the bullet?”
“Maybe, when hell freezes over, so probably never.”
“Sarcastic much, go put them in some water, we have to get going.” I shone him a smile and head to the kitchen to find my
Chinese, Bone China, Porcelain vase. I love this vase; I found the hand printed plum blossom motif was impeccable. I quickly set the roses inside it and head straight back into the lounge.
“We ready to leave then?”
“Yeah, come on. Before we leave, I need to check if you’re ok, I can imagine what’s going through your head, and the fact that you keep fiddling with your fingers, shows how nervous you are.” As Soon as he draws attention to what I am doing, I stop. He’s right, I’m full of nerves right now, but not with just meeting up with Alison, but been around him, I find it hard to contro
l my feelings and everything gets mixed up and I can’t think clearly.
“I’m ok thanks, yeah, am a little nervous. What do you say to someone who you’ve not seen in years? It seems impractical.”
“You’ve got us all here and if she pisses you of that much, we’ll get Andrew to sling her on her ass, deal?”
“Haha, deal! Come on, let’s go visit the devil.” We both laugh and he puts his arm out for me to link him. I have heals on today, so I’m not tip toeing tonight, although he still hovers over me.
He opens the car door for me and I slip in, followed by Jared and his other bodyguard Tye, Andrew is driving. Tye is pretty built, he only looks to be in his late twenties, hazel eyes, brown spiky hair, tanned, he’s pretty hot. Tye was another one who was assigned to me, but he hardly talks, you cannot get one conversation out of him. I turn to Jared and ask, just as the car starts to move.
“So how far is this place, from here?”
“It’s not far, if we don’t hit traffic, we’d get there in about twenty minutes.” I just nod and look out the window, thinking to myself, how do I approach her? What do I say? What if this is all a big mistake? I find it funny how I question everything now, I never expect anything good anymore, it seem unrealistic, as when I allow myself to get that hint of happiness, it comes crashing down, so it makes perfect sense to expect anything less. So yes being negative is my only way to stop the misery. I’m knocked out from my thoughts with Andrew saying.
“We’re here sir.” Jared turns to me and places his palm to my cheek, and strokes the side of my cheekbone with his thumb.
“Are you ready for this babe?” I huff and close my eyes with the feel of his touch and already the sparks start shooting out, ready to be taken in by his toxins. I resist the temptation and move away.
“Not really, but I have to face this one way or another, so I may as well get it over and done with.” We get out the car and the freezing cold air, brushes through me and I start to shiver. Damn I should have put a jacket on, and talk about the wrong shoes for the snow. See, this is what Jared makes me do. He makes me forget things. I smack him on the arm and he looks at me puzzled.
“Ouch, what was that for?”
“You could have told me to wear something sensible, you made me forget what the weather was like and even when I left my house I didn’t notices as I was all flustered.” He starts to laugh.
“So, I still make you flustered? I told you that you won’t be able to resist me.” The smug look on his face makes me want to smack it off.
“Shut up, you smug git. I never said that.” I say in denial.
“Oh, does the truth hurt darling?” I cannot help but smile and nod, I can’t reply to that, he will go to gloating next.
We walk into the ranch, he was right; it’s not too fancy, a bar, brown decor all around, orange patterned carpet and brown tables and chairs all around, even some booths. They’re a few people here. Let’s hope there is no scene for them all to watch.
Jared, walks to the waiter to check us in, he gestures to me to come over. “They’re all here waiting Danni, we’re just around the corner. Would you like to get a drink before we go over?”
“Yes please, I think I need it.”
“Martini and lemonade?”
“No, not this time, I want a vodka and coke; I’m in need of something strong.” He laughs and orders two vodkas.
“I’ve not had vodka in years.”
“Then why are you getting one? It’s not if you’re about to meet someone who was a cow to you.”
“I’m ordering one because I’ve got a feeling were hitting world war three, once we get over there.”
“Such lovely support Jared, come on, its time.” I reluctantly say and start to walk over slowly. This is it.
As I get to the table, I can’t help but roll my eyes in ignorance towards her and all my anger issues towards her come flooding back. Adam gets up to greet me in a hug.
“Hey peanut, thank you for this, you look great.” I nod and embrace him back.
“It’s ok.” He goes and sits back down. He is sat next to Julie, she just glares at me and lets of a little nod and Jared walks over to Julie to greet her and give her a peck on the cheek. Andi and Alex are sat to the right of Alison, and Adam on the left, how it use to be when we were kids. I was always on the opposite side of the table, next to my dad on the end. Looks like I’m on the end where I’m facing straight at her. Jared holds my chair open for me to sit; I smile at his sweet gesture.
Once I am sat, there is a silence throughout the table; I knew this would be that awkward. Poor Jared and Julie, they must feel extremely uncomfortable right now. I can’t help but stare straight towards Alison, I know she can tell I have many questions and want to kick off, but I can’t make a scene, it’ll be straight over the press.
After another five minutes have past, a waitress comes to take our orders, even she can tell how bad the tension is.
“Can I take your orders?” She asks, awkwardly.
“Can I have the gourmet, chicken burger please.” Jared nudges me for my attention. “What’s up?”
“That’s impressive; you don’t seem like a burger chick.” He turns to the waitress, “I’ll have the same as her.”
“See Mr. Hall, you don’t know me that well after all.”
“Nice try, Danni. I know you more then you know yourself and some advice, do something about this silence, it’s suffocating. I hate silence.” I roll my eyes and wait for the waitress to leave and turn to Andi, who is looking radiant, she’s done her makeup perfectly and curled her hair and is wearing a black cocktail dress, she hardly ever wears cocktail dresses.
“You look amazing, Andi. Are the babies finally sleeping? Who’s
watching them, by the way?”
“Thank you, Danni. I have Katie and Jay watching them. I didn’t think it was a good idea bringing them tonight.”
“Fair enough, you’ve made the right decision there.” We’re snapped out of our conversation with Alison interrupting us.
“Can we stop beating around this and get this all out in the open?” How rude of her? Everyone puts there head down, knowing what is coming next. Jared, places his hand on top of mine. I think that is his way, to try and calm me down. It doesn’t work and I snap.
“No, we can’t. As you can see, I’m having a conversation with my sister, which you have no right interrupting.”
“Danni, please don’t.” Andi pleads.
“No, Andi, let her.. She has every right to kick off, but Danni can you please let me explain? I at least deserve that.” Did she really just say that she deserves to be able to explain herself, I can’t control it any longer, that’s it, I’ve hit boiling point.
“Are you kidding me? Ok, let’s hear it, how you were never around, touring was more important. Oh and how about, why you treated me different? And was nothing but a bitch to me, always putting me down, giving me smacks for doing something little out of line, but when it came to Andi or Adam they would get away with it. You’d lock me away for no reason. Oh, let’s not forget about the important parts of our lives. Andi getting married, having kids, what about me on my death bed for being nearly beating to death? Oh and yet again, I was in hospital again a few weeks ago, where were you? Let’s not forget the biggest problem, where the fuck were you, when dad died? You didn’t return home, you left it all down to Adam to arrange everything and take care of us, where the fuck was your heart? Of course, you don’t have one, because your one cold hearted bitch. So no, you don’t deserve anything from me.” I get up and go to walk out and she shouts back.
Danni Marie Shaw, sit your ass down.” How dare she use my full name, that just pisses me of more. I walk back towards the table and sit.
“Well go on then, the floor is all yours, give us your best shot.”
“You know what, you want the truth? You won’t be able to handle the truth, but if you want to whine like a baby, here it is. You where nothing but a spoilt child, yo
u weren’t like your brother or sister and your farther would give you all his attention, which pissed me of more. I have news for you Danni, he wasn’t your real farther, you were the outcome of a mistake I did with one of my dancers and I had to live with the guilt for what I did. So looking at you, would remind me every day of what I did. I had an affair and I did love him and once he found out I was pregnant, he wanted nothing to do with me and that was your fault.” I’m speechless, this cannot be true.
“Mum!” Andi and Alex snap.
“You’re lying, you heartless cow.”
“Believe me, I wish I was, but it’s all true, you where a big mistake. You wanted the truth, you’ve got it.” My jaw drops and my heart sinks, everyone is looking over in shock. What do I say to that? I was unwanted and my dad who I have always adored, turns out he wasn’t my biological farther.
“Wow Ms Shaw, you’re one bitch, who says that to their daughter.” Jared snaps, he places his arm around my shoulder for comfort and goes to drag me up to leave. I nod no and signal him with my index finger to say one minute. I say the only words that can slip out of my mouth and in a low tone.
“Did he know?” I turn to Andi and Adam. “Did you guys know?” They shake their head no and they look just as shocked as me, and they’re looking at Alison in disgust.
“No, he didn’t know, I’m glad he never. That’s why I always resented you and I’m sorry for that. It’s also why I never came back when he passed away, he died never knowing what I did and then seeing Andi and Adam through him. killed me. I could never forgive myself. I’ve come back to make a mend, for everything I did, I shouldn’t have hated you the way I did, as you’re still my daughter.” I just put my head down, I’m trying my best not to break down in tears, Alison is interrupted by Julie.
