My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book One]

Home > Other > My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book One] > Page 20
My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book One] Page 20

by Lauren King


  “You are correct. I have not been back to Longbourn since the first week of October. That could be a nice day trip. May I let you know once I find out if Jane can come too?” Elizabeth looks over at Jane again, and she still looks cheerless.

  Elizabeth thinks that Mr. Bingley must be taking this very badly. She can imagine that Mr. Bingley is worried about his and Miss Bingley’s reputations. Their wealth is new, and they come from trade, thus the ties to anything scandalous could seriously hinder their growth into higher society. She does not know if Mr. Bingley could weather this specific problem, especially with a sister such as Miss Bingley. Then, both Jane and Mr. Bingley stand up to walk towards Elizabeth and William – both appear sad.

  “Mr. Bingley is leaving, Lizzy.” Jane says in a serene, friendly manner.

  “It was good to see you again, Mr. Bingley. Good day to you, sir.” Elizabeth says amiably.

  “Thank you, Miss Elizabeth.” Bingley smiles affably like he always does, but it is obvious that he is subdued. Then, he looks at Darcy. “Are you leaving too, Darcy?”

  “Not yet, Bingley. I still have to speak with Miss Elizabeth about something before I take my leave.” Darcy looks and smiles happily at Elizabeth before asking, “Should we let them know, Lizzy?”

  Elizabeth smiles back at him just as happily and replies, “Yes, if you would like.”

  “Bingley, I want to share with you and Miss Bennet our good news. Mr. Gardiner has consented for me to officially court Miss Elizabeth.”

  “Oh, congratulations, Darcy and Miss Elizabeth.” Bingley says with some excitement, and then he looks at Jane who is hugging Miss Elizabeth.

  Bingley notices that Darcy just called Miss Elizabeth by her family name. They must be very serious with each other. Bingley is happy for them, but he wonders if Darcy knows of the trouble that the Bennets are currently having. He does not think Miss Elizabeth would hide such an important fact from Darcy to deceive him into this courtship. It must mean that Darcy accepts the potential negative outcome from all this. Amazing – Bingley never would have thought that Darcy would be so lenient and understanding of such a scandal. This will affect both Darcy’s and Miss Darcy’s reputations. Has Darcy thought of that? Bingley is certain that Darcy has thought of all the facets to this situation because he is an astute, an upright, and an honorable gentleman of high standing in society. If Darcy is not distressed by this, then Bingley has less of a reason to be against this connection with Miss Bennet. However, Darcy’s stellar family reputation and high status in society afford him much leeway against bad connections. Actually…with Bingley’s current social status, it will result in less scrutiny because he does not receive as much attention in society as Darcy does. On the other hand, any mar against Bingley will be magnified more than it would against Darcy. Blimey! He really wants to talk with Darcy about the Bennet’s situation. Bingley can make this work – maybe. He just has to think things through. He will talk to Darcy about this later.

  At the beginning of this visit, Bingley was very happy to ask Miss Bennet to enter into a courtship with him, but she gave him quite a shock when she told him about her current family problem. He did not know what to say, so he just kept quiet and listened. He was greatly relieved that Miss Bennet was not the one that was in trouble, but he felt such distress for her. She deserves to have a good future; however, it will be hard for any suitor to pursue her now.

  This problem will taint everyone in their family and anyone that is connected to them. If Bingley goes forward with his pursuit of Miss Bennet and their shame should surface, then it will be even more difficult to deal with Caroline. She will complain, protest, gripe, and object to his relationship with Miss Bennet; Caroline will not relent until he completely disassociates from Miss Bennet.

  Caroline is under Bingley’s care, thus he is in an extremely difficult situation. Does he sacrifice his happiness with Miss Bennet because of Caroline? Does he continue with Miss Bennet and cause more conflict between him and his sisters? He, very much, wants a future with Miss Bennet, but he still has to be fair with securing Caroline’s future and not damage his family reputation. Miss Bennet has the qualities that he wants in a wife, and he knows that she genuinely and entirely cares for him – not just for his wealth. Now, for him to be in a position to lose her is aggravating and depressing. He is torn between his family duty and his own future.

  “Thank you, Bingley.” Darcy says cheerfully as he turns back to smile at Elizabeth. He is very happy, indeed.

  Darcy recognizes that something has happened between Bingley and Miss Bennet. Bingley does not seem as affable as he usually is. Darcy guesses that Bingley has decided to pursue Miss Bennet seriously; hence, Bingley may not be very thrilled right now if he also just found out about the Bennet’s family problem.

  Darcy has made the right decision for himself because he cares for Elizabeth too much to let her go. Just the fact that she was sacrificing her own happiness in order to save his reputation was proof enough of her goodness. He wants to spend his life with this amazing lady. Darcy cannot imagine any of the young ladies that he has met in the Ton doing such a selfless act. This is why Darcy will not let Elizabeth go. He will make it work for them.

  Darcy does not have to answer to anybody. He is the head of the Darcy family. His Uncle Henry and Aunt Catherine have no say over his family. As long as he and Elizabeth do not do anything wrong or immoral, then he is satisfied with living his life without too much concern about the Ton’s gossip. He does not think Elizabeth cares about being in the center of society; therefore, not being part of the Ton will not hurt her. She sounds like she cares more for family than being caught up in high society. She is intelligent, caring, logical, and sensible – all of which will be beneficial to being his wife, being the mother of his children, and being the mistress of Pemberley.

  “I am happy for the both of you, Lizzy, Mr. Darcy.” Jane responds nicely.

  “Thank you, Miss Bennet.” Darcy responds contentedly.

  Jane smiles “I will walk Mr. Bingley out and be right back, Lizzy.” Jane says serenely.

  “Certainly, Jane.” Elizabeth is sympathetic for Jane and Mr. Bingley; she understands everyone’s position in regards to this awful problem. She is elated that William can weather this problem and is willing to weather this problem with her. Elizabeth already can sense that William is truly a great gentleman. She cannot imagine being in a courtship with someone else. As Jane and Mr. Bingley speak in the foyer, Darcy tells Elizabeth that Mr. Gardiner said that Darcy has a good idea regarding investigating the man involved with Lydia. Mr. Gardiner will advise her Father about pursuing that man to do his duty by Lydia. Elizabeth is glad something will be done in order to help this situation. They speak for a couple of minutes before Jane comes back to inform Mr. Darcy that Mr. Bingley would like a word with him in the foyer.

  Elizabeth and Jane speak to each other while Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley speak in the foyer.

  “Is everything all right, Jane?” Elizabeth hopes that Jane and Mr. Bingley will work out eventually.

  Jane responds glumly, “Mr. Bingley asked me to be in a courtship with him, so I told him everything, and it really shocked him – understandably so. When I saw his reaction, I told him I completely understand his position, and I do not expect for him to go forward with our courtship. We talked a little more about how this could affect us all. At the end, I told him I do not hold anything against him or expect anything from him. I told him not to worry that I will try to claim an acquaintance with him. He objected to that, but I told him that I am only being realistic. I do not want to cause any problems for him with his family or with society. I know he has to consider Miss Bingley. I emphasized again that I understand his position, and I do not blame him for rethinking his intentions towards me. In the end, I wished him luck in all his endeavors. He insisted again that we could stay friends, but I told him to be sensible; I really do not want any adverse effects towards him.”

  “I am sorry, Jane. I tr
uly am sorry.” Elizabeth hugs Jane again, and then Jane asks about Elizabeth’s talk with Mr. Darcy.

  Elizabeth tells Jane the condensed version of her conversation with William. Jane says that she is thrilled for Elizabeth’s happiness. Jane thinks from this show of devotion, Mr. Darcy has solidified himself as a most honorable, admirable, praiseworthy, and kindhearted gentleman.

  Jane is positive that releasing Mr. Bingley from her is the right route to take; his family pull will be too much for him to handle. She does not want to contend with Miss Bingley’s bitterness and condescending attitude for life. Furthermore, should Mr. Bingley try to intervene into Miss Bingley’s treatment of Jane then there will surely be resentment and more hatred from Miss Bingley which could lead to the breakup of their family. Jane, unquestionably, does not want to be the cause of that.

  Darcy comes back into the sitting room after a few minutes more, so Jane excuses herself to go get more tea. Darcy and Elizabeth continue their talk happily.

  “Lizzy, I am certain you know now that Bingley also knows of your family’s trouble. Miss Bennet told him.”

  “Yes, I do know, William.” It feels good to be able to address William so familiarly.

  “Bingley is distraught over this dilemma because he knows Miss Bingley, well. She has always been outspoken, condescending, disdainful, haughty, and arrogant. She will be in total mayhem and be unmanageable by Bingley once she finds out about your family trouble. Bingley has an easy personality without pretention, and he does not like to confront conflict; therefore, he has never been able to handle Miss Bingley very well – if at all. Now, with the knowledge of your family’s trouble, she will become even more uncontrollable. He is absolutely certain that she will not be amenable to accepting the tie to a bad reputation. Any hint of her being adversely affected will make her angry, demanding, and taxing. I am sorry for Miss Bennet. Bingley truly does care for Miss Bennet; I know that without question. The only way to get around dealing with Miss Bingley is if she is married before Bingley. That way she is no longer under Bingley’s care and cannot be affected as severely. Another way is to keep this situation hidden from her for as long as possible until it cannot affect her. I hope that Bingley and Miss Bennet will be able to figure this out.”

  “Thank you for your genuine concern, William. I am very sorry for Jane, but I do understand Mr. Bingley’s predicament. William…can I ask you a question?”

  “Certainly, Lizzy.”

  “And please do not fret over being forthright with me. Please, do not hold back when you answer me.” Elizabeth states timidly.

  “You can ask me anything, and I will always be straightforward and honest with you.” Darcy replies warmly.

  “Are you sure you will be able to overcome the bad gossip or rumors when or if this problem is tied to you? I know your Uncle is the Earl of Matlock and your Aunt Catherine De Bourgh is prominent; will they not be completely against you being associated with me and my family, in any manner? Please, just be completely frank with me. I would rather know now than later.” Elizabeth speaks candidly because there is no use beating around the bush in cases like this.

  “Lizzy, I am the head of the Darcy family. I do not have to answer to anyone and that includes my Uncle Henry and my Aunt Catherine. I know who you are and what kind of a person you are; therefore, I will make my own decisions in regards to my future. They cannot force anything upon me. When they get to know you, they will know what I know about you. You are a genuinely good person that I want in my life. I adore you. Georgiana respects and admires you because of your goodness. Do not worry, all right? No one can convince me against you. You know I care for you very much.” Darcy reaches out to squeeze Elizabeth’s hand before pulling back right away. He just wants to show her his devotion and his sincerity.

  Elizabeth smiles warmly at William as his pretty blue eyes pierce through her depression that had accumulated these past weeks without him. Elizabeth cannot believe her ears. It is unbelievable how fortunate, how blessed she is to be cared for by a man like William. It is nothing less than astounding to have him for her future.

  “Do you care for me as much, Lizzy?” Darcy wants to be bold so that she knows how much he cares for her. He approves of her being open with her care and her feelings for him.

  Elizabeth nods shyly as she blushes. Can she answer him so boldly? He is the one asking her the blatant question. He is a careful and thoughtful person, so if he asks her such things, then that means he does not mind them talking about them.

  “Will you answer me, Lizzy? I adore your voice. I know you are shy about these matters, but please voice your answer to me. I also adore your pretty eyes; I would like to look at them, too.” Darcy did not know he could be so candid in this subject. Saying these things and having these feelings for Elizabeth feels very natural and exhilarating – feelings that he has not had much of with other young ladies in the past. Elizabeth enticed him from the first time he met her like no other young lady.

  Elizabeth glances up quickly at William and then looks back down at her hands for a couple of seconds before she looks directly at William and says softly, “I do care for you just as much. Is that brazen of me to answer so bluntly? I do not want to offend you.”

  “No, Lizzy; no. I will always want you to be open and frank with me in all matters. I want you to be free to say anything to me. I want to hear anything you have to say especially if you want to tell me that you care for me.” Darcy explains explicitly and then smiles his attractive smile.

  “I do care for you so much, but I am scared for you.” Elizabeth says softly.

  “You are scared of tainting my reputation?”

  Elizabeth nods gently. “Yes. I do not want to cause you any hardship. If you are associated with me, then both you and Georgiana will be affected negatively. I am sorry. Perhaps, you should think about this again. There is still time for you to back out. I will not hold you to your hasty words; I understand.” Saying this hurts her heart, but she has to give him an opportunity to reevaluate.

  “I am not going to rethink about you or about us. There is no way my heart will back out, Lizzy. I do not give my word lightly. I will not rescind my words to you. I do not want to rescind any of my words to you. Are you rescinding your words to me?”

  Elizabeth declares confidently without any hesitation, “No, I am not! My heart and mind will not allow it.” She looks at him adoringly.

  “Then you understand my heart and my mind perfectly.” Darcy says firmly as he holds her hand securely again.

  In response, Elizabeth squeezes William’s hand. Her natural feelings manifest themselves into her reactions of affections. She believes in telling people and showing people what she means instead of hiding it. Of course, certain things are said or done as eloquently and discreetly as possible. She hopes that he does not consider her too bold. He did say that he wanted her to be open and frank with him.

  “I truly do not want you or Georgiana to be hurt in any way.”

  “I am grateful for your genuine goodness. I appreciate your thoughtful care of me and Georgiana, but I will not forsake you. I will help you overcome this. I will do all that is in my power to assist you and your family.”

  Elizabeth is staggered by his goodness. She never thought that such a prominent gentleman would be so understanding and forgiving of such a shameful, ugly problem. She is overwhelmed with emotion for William. She wishes Mr. Bingley feels the same way towards Jane, but unfortunately, he does not.

  “You are a true gentleman in all senses of the word. Thank you for being such a good…friend to me.” She gently teases him with her coy smile.

  Darcy squeezes her hand just as lovingly and then says, “I am glad that we both understand each other. You are very special to me. You make me extremely happy. I hope you know that I’m not just your friend. I would like to be much more than that.”

  Elizabeth smiles shyly but impishly and says, “You are much more than just a friend.”

  Darcy squee
zes her hand again and then lovingly caresses the back of it with his thumb. Elizabeth is in awe of William. She feels such contentment; she can’t help but feel…love for him. She is afraid that this happiness can be snatched away from her, but she will seize it for as long as possible.

  When Jane comes back with Mildred carrying the tea, the three of them talk about going to Hertfordshire. Darcy will ask if Georgiana would like to join them for the short trip. They can leave Tuesday morning and stay a couple of days so that Elizabeth and Jane can spend some time with their family. The sisters are happy to hear that Georgiana could come with them so they can show her their home.

  When Darcy leaves, he is allowed a final private goodbye with Elizabeth. He asks to call upon her again tomorrow at ten o’clock so he can get her answer for their Hertfordshire trip. Elizabeth cheerfully grants his request. Before he leaves, Darcy holds Elizabeth’s right hand and bends over it like a gentleman. He wants to kiss her hand, but he will do that next time. He does not want to scare her with his fervent affections.

  Elizabeth is filled with glee. Jane teases her about it, but she does not mind. It feels wonderful to have someone like William care for her. She cares for him so much that she cannot think of anyone else in her life. At supper that evening, Elizabeth tells her Uncle and Aunt about William’s invitation for her and Jane to accompany him and Georgiana on his trip to Longbourn to ask for her Father’s permission for their courtship. Both Uncle and Aunt are joyous for Elizabeth’s bliss with William. They are very impressed with his upright, honorable, and respectable character. She deserves this happiness.

  CHAPTER 8

  ***************

  TUESDAY, DECEMBER 16th

  Elizabeth, Jane, Georgiana, and William are in the large and luxurious Darcy coach heading towards Hertfordshire Tuesday morning. Elizabeth sits directly facing William inside his coach, and she feels such joy to be here with him. With bright, contented smiles, they glance at each other more times than not. Whenever Elizabeth tells a story, William pays rapt attention to her every word. Elizabeth determinedly concentrate on her story so that she does not become too shy from his tender gaze. His gaze is rather potent; her heart flutters with excitement when she is aware of it. The five hour ride seems much less tiring than when she came to London in October in her Father’s carriage. She does not like very long coach rides, but with such pleasant company, she is not opposed to it.

 

‹ Prev