by Logan Belle
“Do you know what this means?” he asked.
She was about to admit that, no, she didn’t. But then she remembered Carly’s words: She wore this leather collar—like a dog collar. But it had a little lock on it. She told me it signified to other people in the community that she was “owned” by someone. . . .
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Tell me,” he said.
“It means that I’m yours,” she said.
“Yes,” he said, his voice low. “Your pussy is mine, and your ass, and your breasts . . . to do with what I want, when I want, where I want.” As if emphasizing his point, he reached around and touched her breasts, then trailed his hand down her body, sending a shiver through her. “Your body is more mine than yours now, do you understand?”
She nodded, her eyes on the mirror, on the necklace.
He gently turned her around and kissed her forehead. “I have one more thing for you,” he said quietly. “Wait here.”
He disappeared into the hallway, and he returned with another small box, this one black and tied with a black ribbon. He handed it to her, and, without question, she opened it.
Inside, she found a small, stainless steel object shaped like a fat tear, with a short stem and a flat base. She looked at him, confused.
“It’s a plug for your ass.”
Her cheeks flooded with color, and she closed the box.
“Carry this with you at all times. I will, at some point, text you to insert it. And I want you to do so. Also, you are to wear it to every meeting at the library. I will be checking you after the meetings to make sure you are complying with these instructions. If you don’t, you will be severely punished.” He smiled at her and smoothed her hair. She was shocked to find that his words had made her wet.
“The car is waiting for you downstairs to take you home.”
CHAPTER 24
In the morning, Regina’s first thought was of the necklace.
Her hands moved to her neck, feeling for it, wondering if it had all been some crazy, erotic dream.
But no, the necklace was there, heavy against her collarbone. The weight of it comforted her, anchored her in the reality of her sexual servitude to Sebastian: a symbol of her desire, and of her being the object of desire.
It was as if the outside world could already see it. For the first time in her life, men were blatantly checking her out when she walked down the street. She didn’t think she looked physically different; it was more as if they could sense passion roiling inside of her. As if they could sniff out the lust she carried with her everywhere.
She stepped out of bed, wrapped in the lingering euphoria of sexual satisfaction.
And then she remembered that it was her birthday—and that her mother was coming to town.
•
It was late morning, after hours of alphabetizing returns, when Regina was interrupted by a visit from Margaret.
“I went to find you at the Delivery Desk, and they told me you had been moved here,” Margaret said. Today, she wore spectacles so thick her eyes appeared magnetized. “What did you do to get such exile?”
Regina smiled. “I somehow managed to get on Sloan’s bad side.”
Margaret sighed. “The woman is a tyrant. Did you bring lunch? I thought we might sit out on the steps. It’s not too hot today.”
It was true—her birthday had somehow brought with it a return to spring. The sky was cloudless, and there was no humidity.
“I’d love to,” she said with a smile. She reached under her desk and retrieved her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in its brown paper bag. As she bent down, the padlock charm bounced against her neck. Nestled under her blouse, she’d almost forgotten about it.
They found a spot near the top of the stairs. Regina tilted her head up toward the sun. She thought of the first day she’d sat in that spot—the day she’d first seen Sebastian.
If it weren’t for having to see her mother that night, she would almost feel happy. She wondered if she would even have a menu in her hand before her mother started to guilt-trip her.
“How much longer are you going to be at the Returns Desk?” Margaret asked.
“I don’t know,” Regina said, unwrapping her sandwich. She’d gone too heavy on the jelly that morning, and it was seeping out of the bread. Margaret shook her head.
“It’s a shame, your coming into this field at such a bad time. I can tell you have the passion for it.”
“Oh, it’s just that Sloan is having some sort of power trip. I’m not that upset about it. I can wait her out.”
Margaret shook her head, spearing a grape in her plastic container of fruit salad.
“It’s not only Sloan Caldwell—though, in my day, a woman like her would never be running the show. It’s all about money today. It’s the whole system going to the dogs. Every library is losing funding, losing the support of politicians who don’t understand what we do—Louisiana just lost their state funding. Libraries are shutting down, cutting staff, cutting hours. I never thought I’d see this day come.”
“What do you mean Sloan would never be running the show?”
“She didn’t earn her position. Her parents used to run the board—they’re still huge donors. They bought her the job.”
Interesting, Regina thought. “If she’s only doing this because it was an easy job for her to get, then she probably won’t be here long. She seems pretty consumed with her wedding planning. Maybe she’ll quit once she ties the knot.”
“Like I said, people like Sloan Caldwell are only part of the problem. The entire future of libraries in this country is in jeopardy.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Margaret nodded wistfully. “Sadly, I do.”
Regina felt her bag vibrate. She reached for her phone. I will be checking you after the 1:00 Lions meeting. I hope you followed my instructions and are carrying the black box with you.
She dropped her phone back in her bag. Why hadn’t Sloan told her about the meeting? Or had she told her and Regina had forgotten? It would be unlike her to forget something like that but, given how distracted she had been lately, not entirely out of the question. She didn’t know what to do. If she went to the meeting when she wasn’t supposed to, Sloan would be annoyed. But if she missed the meeting when she was supposed to be there, it would be even worse.
“I have to get back to the desk,” Regina said, dropping the uneaten portion of her sandwich back into the paper bag and brushing off her hands.
“I didn’t mean to scare you off,” said Margaret.
“No, it wasn’t that. I just found out about a meeting that Sloan didn’t tell me about. I don’t know what’s going on.”
Margaret tsked, shaking her head as if to say, I told you so.
Walking back up the stairs to the library, Regina remembered that Sebastian’s text wasn’t just about the meeting—it was about how she was supposed to prepare for the meeting. She stopped at the top of the stairs and opened her bag, feeling around for the small black box, fairly certain she had it with her but, for one heart-pounding moment, not entirely sure. When her fingers closed around it, she exhaled in relief.
Walking into the cold, air-conditioned entrance foyer, she broke out in goose bumps. With a shiver, she thought about the secret she would have in the meeting, an unspeakable secret only she and Sebastian would share. And with her hand still on the box, she smiled.
•
Regina walked into the Trustees Room, and when Sloan looked up with undisguised irritation, Regina knew she had made the wrong choice in attending the meeting.
It was too late to back out now. Unsure of where to sit, Regina took an open spot two chairs away from Sloan. She looked around the room but didn’t see Sebastian.
Regina shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the metal plug inside of her making it unlikely she
would be able to sit through an entire meeting.
She still couldn’t believe what she had just done, closing herself in a bathroom stall, pulling down her underwear, and pressing the strange object slowly into her ass. Her mental squeamishness aside, the physical act had been surprisingly easy.
“Sloan wants you to switch seats so you’re sitting next to her,” said Lesley Byrd, one of the more senior board members.
“Oh, okay,” Regina said, getting up and moving. Sloan watched her with a death glare. When she was seated beside her, she leaned in close and hissed, “I didn’t invite you to this meeting.”
“I’m sorry—I heard about the meeting and thought I’d forgotten. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to error on the side of being here.”
Just then, Sebastian walked into the room. Regina felt her anus clench reflexively against the plug. He looked directly at her, and her knowing that he knew what was going on in her pants made her feel incredibly turned on. Sloan was forgotten, her physical discomfort was forgotten—now, she was locked into her little game with Sebastian. That world, her shadow world with him, had taken over.
“Today’s meeting will be a quick one,” Sebastian said, standing at the end of the table. “You all know you have another ten days or so to get me your vote for the fiction award nominees, so we’re in a holding pattern there. But Lesley needs to talk to you about the winter fund-raiser. Lesley, it’s all yours.”
Lesley Byrd beamed at him. “Thank you, Sebastian.” She looked down at her yellow legal pad before launching into her checklist of outstanding issues for the winter fund-raiser. Her words blurred into background noise. All Regina could think about was the pressure in her ass—that, and the colossal effort it took not to look at Sebastian, all the while feeling Sloan keeping a close eye on her.
Her mind, as if enslaved by the small piece of metal inside of her, kept slipping into a reverie of the night before. She imagined Sebastian’s fingers on her clit, the way it worked in tandem with the hard bead in her ass to stir her body into a state of exquisite sensitivity. She thought about how it felt to have him remove the object, and that sitting there now, she might be just moments away from such sweet relief.
When she heard Lesley say the words, “And finally . . . ,” she finally allowed herself to glance at Sebastian, but he was listening to Lesley with apparent concentration. She looked at his hands folded together on top of a notepad, and squirmed.
Everyone stood and gathered their notes, and she knew the meeting was mercifully over. The act of standing shifted the pressure inside of her ass.
“Get yourself back to the Returns Desk,” Sloan said. “No more time wasting for you.”
Regina was startled. “What?” she stalled, looking toward Sebastian.
“I need to borrow Regina for a few minutes,” he said, and she realized he was directly behind them as the rest of the board members shuffled toward the door.
“Absolutely not,” Sloan said, without a hint of the playfulness she usually directed at him. “You’ve taken enough of her time. She’s a paid employee, not a volunteer.”
“I’m not asking you,” he said, so quietly it was almost a whisper. Regina saw something flash across Sloan’s face, something complicated and indecipherable.
With a death glare at Regina, Sloan left the room.
Regina looked at Sebastian questioningly, but he was busy ushering out the last few stragglers. Then he locked the door.
“Maybe I should go. . . .”
Without a word, he crossed the room and bent her over the table. He unbuttoned her skirt and yanked it down to the floor, and then pulled her panties to her ankles.
“Spread your legs,” he said, his voice thick with desire. In that instant, Sloan and everything else was forgotten; she did as he had asked and was rewarded with the hot sensation of the plug being slowly removed. But its absence left her yearning to be filled again. He held her in position, one hand slipping underneath her as he rolled his thumb over her clit. She bit her lip to keep from moaning, and then he stopped touching her, holding her in place with one hand on the small of her back. She squirmed, barely able to keep still. She heard a rustling sound, but she was disoriented with her need for the pressure of his hands on her, inside of her. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, his palms spread her legs wider, and with a quick thrust he filled her with his cock.
“Oh!” she cried out, trying to grip the table beneath her. He stood still for a moment, his girth stretching her. Then, slowly, he pulsed in and out, his hands holding her hips. She felt herself become lost in his rhythm, forgetting where she was, unable to think of anything but the pressure building in her pelvis. She started to moan uncontrollably, and if she had been anywhere near her right mind, she would have worried about someone overhearing her. But every synapse in her body was focused on pleasure. When her orgasm broke, it shook her like a convulsion.
His strong hands held her in place until she was done, and then, to her surprise, he pulled out slowly. He turned her around.
“Suck my cock,” he said. The words were shocking and thrilling, and she did not hesitate to get down on her knees. She took him in her mouth, surprised by the tangy taste of her own juices. She did not let it deter her, and she moved her tongue up and down his shaft, licking the tip, then enveloping him in her mouth, repeating the sequence until she was eliciting a moan.
He pulled away.
“Get up,” he said, his voice raw. He helped her to her feet and lifted her onto the table, on her back, and he spread her legs with his knee as he climbed on top of her. He thrust into her almost angrily, building to a frenetic pumping that was almost violent. She was surprised to find her own pleasure building again, her pussy humming to life as if it had just been put on pause. When he cried out, and she felt the vibrations of his orgasm, it sparked another wave of pleasure rippling through her.
She felt him withdraw from her but did not move until he gently eased her up to a sitting position. She saw that his face was flushed, and he looked so boyishly handsome it almost brought tears to her eyes. The flood of emotion was bigger than any physical experience—bigger than anything she’d felt in her life. The give and take, it seemed to know no bounds. Was this it? she wondered. Was this love?
The thought scared her.
CHAPTER 25
“I can’t remember the last time I had a full meal,” said her mother, peering at her over the menu at Kellari, a Greek restaurant just two blocks from the library. “There’s no sense cooking for just myself. It’s still quite a shock not having you around, Regina.”
Regina smiled tightly, glancing around the restaurant. It was a welcoming and beautiful space, with wood-beamed cathedral ceilings and an open kitchen. She reminded herself that it was her birthday, that her mother was there to celebrate with her.
“You shouldn’t stop cooking just because I’m not at home, Ma. Just cut down the proportions and make your usual.”
“It’s not the same,” her mother said.
They settled into silence, broken only when the waiter came to take their orders.
“I’ll start with the traditional Greek salad,” said Regina. “And then I’ll have the grilled jumbo shrimp.” She handed over her menu.
The waiter smiled and looked expectantly at Regina’s mother.
“These fish are all just grilled?” her mother asked, pointing to the menu page of fish by the pound.
“Yes, that’s right, madame. And we recommend ordering a pound per person.”
“I can’t decide. What should I get, Regina? Is there any difference between these fish? Lavraki . . . pompano . . . it’s all just white fish, right?”
“If you’re looking for something mild . . .” the waiter said, starting a fish-by-fish description, and Regina knew he was just wasting his time.
“Let me just order for you, Ma,” she said. “Sh
e’ll have the Greek salad to start, followed by the Dover sole.”
“Very good, madame.” He took their menus and retreated.
“I thought you might show me around the library before dinner. I thought that’s why we were picking a restaurant in this neighborhood.”
Regina had, in fact, originally planned to have her mother come to see her at the library and to show her around. But the thought of running into Sloan—or, worse yet, Sebastian—changed her mind.
“Well, you know, Ma, I work there all day, and by six I’m ready to go.”
Her mother nodded. “In the end, they’re all just jobs, right? No matter how impressive the building. So you could have stayed in Philadelphia after all, eh? Nothing magical about New York.”
Regina immediately thought of Sebastian and felt herself blush.
Her mother, mercifully, did not notice.
“I like New York. Look, I’m sorry about not showing you around the library. Why don’t you change your plans? Instead of driving back to Philly tonight after dinner, stay overnight, and I’ll take you around in the morning.”
“You know I’d never be able to sleep here, Regina. The noise. The crowds . . .”
“Ma, it won’t be noisy and crowded in a hotel room.” Again, she thought of Sebastian and the Four Seasons. She shook her head slightly, as if to clear her mind. “I’d offer for you to stay with me, but the place is pretty small and my roommate—”
“It’s fine, Regina. You’ll show me the library another time.”
But it wasn’t fine. As always, she felt she was letting her mother down. Her mother’s need for her was overwhelming. It was why she’d never considered applying to colleges outside of Philadelphia, and why she’d never gotten an apartment in Center City while at Drexel but had lived with her mother in the suburbs and commuted to class every day. And if there were a library in Philadelphia that could rival the NYPL, she probably would still be living there. She supposed it would be different if her father were still around, or if her mother had ever dated and found a new relationship. But it was as if, when her father died, her mother just gave up on having a life. The problem was, she expected Regina to do the same. She hadn’t realized to what extent she had gone along with this until now—now that she had some distance. If her mother had come to visit just to try to guilt-trip her into moving home, she had wasted her time.
