by Sara York
Alexandria woke as light shot from his body. She blinked and then scooted away. When the light around him dimmed, he had his old body back. He closed his eyes and revelled in the feeling of coming home. Everything felt right again with his soul and his body.
He opened his eyes and looked for his love. The fear in Alexandria’s face brought tears to his eyes. She would forget everything that had happened down here, so he might as well let her know the truth.
“Peace.” Raphael’s voice was calm but powerful.
Alexandria scooted away, searching for an escape route.
“Please hear me out. Alexandria, I’m not who you think I am.”
“You bastard. You hit me, tortured me. You would have raped me if Lash hadn’t shown up.”
“Stop.” His face heated with anger.
Her body shook as her face turned red. “Leave me alone.”
“Alexandria, I want you to listen to me.”
“You lie. You’re evil.”
His face fell and he looked pained. “Please, I’m begging you.”
There was nowhere for her to go. Lahash lay on the floor, as still as the dead. She would listen. He just had to be patient.
“I’ve changed places. Soul swapped.”
Alexandria stared at him, her face screwed into a frown. She shook her head and closed her eyes. “How did you do it?”
“What?”
“Change places, or whatever you did.”
“I’m an angel, and I was sent to Earth in a different form as a punishment.”
“Punishment. Why?”
“I saved your life four months ago when you were supposed to die. God forced me to change places with that one to do penance for my sins.”
Alexandria’s eyes popped open, her gaze on him. “You are lying.”
“No, I’m not.”
Raphael spread his wings wide, and a beautiful light filled the room. “I never lie. I’m Raphael, or Rafe, as you know him. You’ll forget everything that happened down here and only remember what I allow you to remember about me.”
Alexandria shook her head. “No, I don’t believe you.”
Raphael closed the distance between them. “Touch me and you’ll understand.”
She hesitated and fear filled her eyes.
“I’m not him. I won’t hurt you. Touch my hand.”
She reached out and brushed her hand against his. Her face turned white, the bruises from the beating she’d taken grew darker. He needed to get her to the mortal world, and to a hospital. The switch much have diminished his tears’ healing powers enough that he couldn’t heal her body while she was down here in Hell.
“Oh, God, you are Lash.”
“Call me Raphael, please.”
She moved around him, limping as she went. His breath stalled as her hand hovered over the feathers. He glanced back over his shoulder, and their gazes connected. Excitement zinged through him. His wings flinched and brushed against her hand. Alexandria jumped back, then reached out with more confidence.
“They are so soft, almost silky,” she said. After stroking his wings she finished walking around him, stopping in front of him.
“Who is that on the floor? Is he Lash?”
“Yes, but that’s not his real name. And please don’t ask what he’s really named. Calling out to him brings death and destruction.”
“If he’s so bad, why was he allowed to run around without supervision?”
“His powers were diminished, like mine were.”
“But now, does he have his full powers?”
“Probably, but maybe not.”
She glanced over at Lahash, then moved away from him. “I’m so confused.”
“That’s how messed up everything gets when angels involve themselves with humans. I should have stayed away.”
Alexandria turned back to Raphael, her face serious. “Then I wouldn’t have known you.”
“We should get out of here,” Raphael said.
“Will I remember anything about you?”
“A small amount.”
“Will I ever see you again?”
“It depends.”
“On what?” Her eyes were huge, her gaze pleading.
He sighed, wondering if he would ever feel whole again. “You’ll be given a choice. If you choose me, then your afterlife will be different.”
“Afterlife?”
“You can’t be conscious for this part. Moving between worlds is going to hurt. I love you and I know you’ll have a great life.” Raphael closed his eyes and brushed his lips across hers. She moaned and leaned against him. Desire pumped through his veins, but he couldn’t act on that craving or he risked undoing all that he’d accomplished.
Her eyes fluttered open and she graced him with a smile that melted his heart. Raphael swiped his hands across her eyes, removing their conversation from her memory. The love he had for Alexandria had forced him to do some stupid stuff. Now, with Cupid’s help, he would set Alexandria’s life right. She might not choose him in the end, but that was fine, because what he really wanted was for her to have a great life and be happy.
The shock of pain hit Alexandria first, then everything began to go numb. Her eyes wouldn’t focus, then when they did she wished they hadn’t. Something was wrong with everything. She was back in hospital again, and this time Scott sat beside her, holding her hand. She moaned as she moved to sit up.
“Lash, where is he?”
Scott leant forward and kissed her knuckles. “He went back home last week. Don’t you remember?”
Alexandria sat up and her head swam. “I don’t remember much. What happened?”
“You were in a wreck. Your truck was hit by a boulder coming off one of the mountains.”
“My truck?” She rubbed her eyes, hoping to clear some of the fog.
“I found you. Was able to breathe life back into you. You scared the heck out of me.”
“Scott.” Alexandria closed her eyes. Her thoughts were jumbled but she knew she was supposed to love Scott. For some reason the emotion felt strange, almost forced, but the force was strong. Loving Scott felt more natural with every second that passed.
Memories of Lash slowly slid away. By the time the nurse arrived, she’d forgotten all about Lash and Rafe. Scott was her primary focus.
After a week in the hospital she got out and moved in with Scott. He asked her to marry him a week later. Everyone in Columbia Falls thought it was the best wedding the town had ever seen. The bride happily kissed her new husband, loving every minute with Scott, the love of her life.
Raphael watched Alexandria walk down the aisle in her beautiful white dress. When she kissed Scott, he thought his heart would fall out of his chest. The pain seared him in a way he didn’t know angels could hurt. But she seemed happy with Scott. Raphael didn’t want to think about what he’d done. Interfering with her destiny had almost given her a one-way ticket to Hell. If he couldn’t have her, at least she had Scott, who would love her every day of her life.
He was an angel, immortal to the core, and Alexandria’s life on Earth would end soon. They were totally incompatible, and yet she was irresistible to him.
Michael floated next to him in a cloud of mist. “I see you’ve succeeded.” Michael put up a hand for a high five that Raphael didn’t return.
“Will she die soon?”
“All of them die,” Michael said.
“Damn it, that’s not what I mean. I want to see her live and be happy.”
“You’re very involved with this human?”
“Involved doesn’t come close to how I am with her. I’m totally enmeshed in her life. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
“Raphael, the danger of mixing with humans is tremendous. You know what happened last time? God almost destroyed the humans. You got off easy. You push this, and who knows what will happen.”
“I know, I know, but don’t expect me to ignore her. She’s… I can’t explain the connection other than t
o say her soul is interwoven in my life, to the point I can’t breathe without her.”
Michael tisked his tongue against his teeth. “This isn’t good. You’ve never fallen for one like this before, have you?”
“Never. I want an exception for this mortal. I want her to be—”
“You do understand what you are suggesting is impossible?”
“Not impossible. Nothing is impossible for Him.”
Michael threw up his hands and growled. “Might not be impossible, but I’m not going to Him with this.”
“Let me.” Raphael pushed his position and he didn’t care if it angered Michael. Taking such a petty concern to God could cause him more trouble, but he wanted this woman in his life.
“No. No. No. There is no way I am letting you into His presence for at least a century. You’re lucky God let you off so easy. He could have forced you to live as Lash for a long time. He was proud of you for admitting that you shouldn’t have interfered. That admission alone gave you back your body and your life.”
Raphael blew out a slow breath. God had forgiven him—so that was why he’d changed back. “I want to find a way around this problem.”
“The girl isn’t yours to keep.”
Michael was speaking the truth. Alexandria wasn’t his. She belonged to the mortal world and not his.
“Let me have one more night with her.”
Michael shook his head. “That’s not wise.”
“Not now, later—her last night on Earth. Please, I want to hold her in my arms one last time. After that I’ll behave.”
“Fine. When she dies, you can have one night.”
Sixty-two years later
Alexandria’s children drifted out of the hospital room. The equipment had been unplugged and the doctors had covered her with a plain white sheet. She had lived a full life. Raphael would know, because he’d kept account of everything she’d ever done. He’d watched out for her children and her husband, Scott, keeping them out of danger and helping them all to accomplish great things.
Raphael sat on the bed bedside her, waiting for her to open her eyes. When she finally came to, he leant down and kissed her lips. Her dull eyes brightened, and she let out a small squeal.
“Rafe—I mean, Raphael—you came for me.”
Pleasure filled him—he hadn’t expected her to recognise him. “Do you remember me?”
“Yes, everything. That’s odd, I remember it all.”
“You have a choice,” Rafe said.
“I want you—”
Raphael held up his hand, stopping her flow of words.
“If you come with me, you’ll be able to see your children in Heaven and talk to them, but you’ll not be allowed to live with them. Your life will be with me.”
Alexandria sat up, her body already transforming to the younger version of itself. “I can visit them?”
“Yes.”
“And Scott?”
“He’ll be with your children.”
“What about us? What type of relationship will we have?”
“Whatever type of relationship you want.” Raphael pulled her into a crushing kiss.
She broke the kiss after a moment. Her fingers traced his chin, then his nose and lips.
“I’ve missed you,” Alexandria said.
“You didn’t remember me until now.”
“I didn’t forget everything. Every day of my life, I knew I was missing something.”
“What were you missing?”
“You.”
Raphael wrapped his arms around Alexandria and whisked her off to the land of angels, where they could spend the rest of eternity together, loving each other and making up for lost time.
Also available from Total-E-Bound Publishing:
Fallen
Brynn Paulin
Excerpt
Chapter One
After all uncounted millennia, he’d fallen prey to his baser desires and been banished. Now of all times. When the portal between good and evil was thinned by the solstice.
Raphian watched the object of his lust as she sent her young charges onto the large yellow buses lining the drive in front of the school where she taught. She smiled at the children, waving as fat snowflakes swirled around her. A gust of wind ruffled her hair into a golden halo, and she appeared more angelic than he ever had.
He swallowed hard as desire knotted through him again. Though it had cost him everything he was, he couldn’t escape his need even for a moment. This woman had burrowed into his soul, and she didn’t even know it. Yet.
As darkness encroached, so did the urgency to get her beneath his wing of protection. He cringed, and deep sorrow rushed through him. His wing… He shook his head. His arms would suffice. He’d keep her safe.
She shivered, reminding him it was cold as late December days were wont to be. He’d never experienced cold before today. Now the bitter air stabbed at his skin, reddening the exposed areas and making his bones ache.
So this was cold…
In the past, his wings had always kept the elements from him as he’d performed his duties on earth.
Now, he had no duties.
He had no wings.
He’d succumbed to human desires and dared to want a woman. His charge. Trusted to protect her, he’d betrayed his position. He’d lain with her during a dream and felt the soft folds of her womanhood embracing his manhood as he plunged within her. Bliss. Hours of incomprehensible bliss.
Then he’d stepped from her sweet embrace and straight to judgement.
There was no denying his action. The moment it had happened, it had been recorded in the annals of history. He was marked. Tainted by pleasure the angels were forbidden to experience.
A phalanx of guards had seized him at the kingdom’s gates then dragged him to his punishment before he could react. Even if he had been able to respond, there would have been no escape.
His condemnation was etched in the stones marking the kingdom. He’d broken the law given to the angels. Fallen.
His brethren had cast him from their realm, sending him plummeting to the earth to make his way and escape the coming scourge of one who wanted him to fall even more—down into the pits where the demons dwelt.
He’d resist them, resist them with all his being if necessary. He’d give his non-life rather than join them. For he was neither angel nor human. He was just fallen.
The cold biting through him amplified the mark of his failure as he shuddered. Each jarring quiver pulled at his back. Reminding him of what had been taken from him. Screaming that he was an angel no more. Angels had wings. He had pain.
Would it ever cease? Or would he forever feel the agony where his commander’s fiery sword had shorn away his wings? Long red wounds now ran from shoulder to waist, seared closed by the flame.
Because he’d dared to want a woman.
For years, he’d protected her. Now, he’d protect her one last time. Tonight as the portal thinned for the winter solstice, the demons would break free. Every demon in the vicinity would be after one man—the former angel they wanted to bring to their side.
They’d threaten him—and the one he loved. They’d tempt him. If he turned, he would once again have power and immortality. They’d offer him kingdoms and wealth. They’d even offer him the woman. She’d be his slave for eternity.
He could have everything, but at what price? With them, he’d never again know peace or love. There would be only hatred, so deep his bones would ache worse than they did in this wretched cold.
His chance for resisting the demons was slim. No one ever had—not that he knew.
It mattered little what history said of the fallen. He may have been condemned, but he wasn’t evil. Death and an eternity between planes was preferable to joining the ranks in the pit.
Raphian’s being stirred as the universe called him to protect. Even without wings, that instinct hadn’t changed. The demons were coming, and they would attempt to use her against him. They’d threaten
her life. And her soul. From sunset to sunrise, they’d battle with every foul means at their disposal as they searched for a crack in Raphian’s will. Anything that would coerce him to their side.
A wingless angel and a mortal woman against a horde? There was no way either of them would survive the siege unless they were together. And soon. The days were short, and the sun already hung low in the sky. Every minute counted as the night drew close. The woman didn’t know him, yet she would have to trust him before the looming darkness blotted the tiny spark of hope from his spirit.
With a silent prayer to one who wouldn’t listen, he stepped forward.
Lissa Chase comprehended she should be afraid of the man who’d stood across the street, watching her for the better part of the last half hour. She should have dashed for the building the second the buses were loaded. One call to nine-one-one and her father would be here with his cruiser. The sight of him and his no-nonsense attitude usually scared away threats and had terrified most of her boyfriends over the last ten years.
Instead of running, she stepped right off the kerb and headed for the stranger. She might be a natural blonde, but she wasn’t stupid. She’d dreamt of this man. She’d seen him for years in the place between wake and deep sleep. Her gran had always cautioned her to heed those special dreams—the lucid ones where everything seemed all too real. They were important.
This wide-shouldered man, with hair as black and long as the proudest Indian chief, was as significant as they came. Even from several feet away, she knew he’d smell of spring trees and new grass. His dark eyes weren’t black, though from half a street away, they appeared like coal. They were the darkest blue, a shade she’d never seen on another person. And his name was…
“Raphian,” she said when she stood a yard from him, still in the street.
His eyes went wide with surprise. His mouth opened.
Suddenly, he dived for her, yanking her towards the sidewalk as a car blaring Deck the Halls passed so close it brushed the back of her skirt.
