by Mia Fox
I wasn’t only nervous about seeing him because I liked him. I was nervous over my job and the new demands placed on me that directly involved Cole. How was I supposed to turn this sports lesson into a bonafide date? What if I couldn’t get him interested in me off the field?
One thing was for certain, if I were to be successful in attracting his eye, I’d need to wear something decidedly more sexy than a pair of shorts and a sports bra, although maybe he’d like that, but I knew I’d feel sexier in pretty lingerie and a dress. I went back and forth between a practical wardrobe and a sexy one until finally, the sexy one won out. It might not be totally conducive for field hockey, but let’s face it, I wasn’t the one trying to make the Olympics. I opted for a flirty, white sundress with embroidered details at the neckline and a key-hole opening in the back. Its sexy length just grazed my mid-thigh and looked perfect with booties. Not as sexy as a stiletto heel, but it still served to elongate my legs and the closed toe would protect my foot if the hockey ball were to hit me.
I carefully did my makeup, ensuring that my face had a porcelain quality to it without looking like I had put in too much effort. It was much harder to make oneself look beautifully casual than going all out glam mode. I put the final touches on…gloss over my lipstick to make my lips shiny kissable…and sighed with the irony that I was probably spending more time on my appearance for this hockey lesson in order to keep my job than I had done when I first went for the job interview in the first place. But then again, I couldn’t keep lying to myself. This was much more than a hockey lesson and more than a way of keeping my boss happy. I was full on attracted to this guy.
When I walked out of my room and into the living room, Megan was on the couch watching television. “You look amazing. Where are you headed?”
“Thanks. Just doing a work thing.”
I had thought Megan was alone, but no such luck. I should have known better as she never really does alone time. One of her overnight guests yelled from her bedroom, asking if she was coming back to bed.
She sighed and picked herself off the couch. “Remember, survival justifies our actions.”
Chapter Thirteen
I flipped on the radio and then promptly turned if off as proclamations of love and passion filled the airwaves. I needed to get my mind off what I was about to do — trying to tempt this guy into a tryst. Not that it’s ever too difficult to get a guy to take part. But, I hadn’t been with anyone in quite some time. Add to that fact my old-fashioned sense of romance and I had placed myself in an impossible situation. Even if Cole did find me attractive, there was no telling if he would have the guts to act on it and I certainly wasn't going to take the lead.
All of these thoughts swam around in my head until I pulled into the parking lot of the hockey field and saw him practicing. That’s when the minutiae of what I was doing, what I was told to do, left me and all I could think of was how cute he looked in shorts and a t-shirt, whacking that ball with amazing strength that echoed its pounding sound with every hit.
“How did you get the gate open?” I called out, making him turn in my direction.
“One of my teammates gave me the combo — I come prepared. But I’m not sure you are…” he said taking in my attire.
With a hungry look in his eye he approached me. I noticed his eyes drop to my legs and travel back up again, but it wasn’t overt. He was still a gentleman even though little signs told me he liked what he saw. His adam’s apple did a slight bob as he swallowed hard. He licked his lips and took in a deep breath. It wasn’t in a lascivious way, but rather, his attention was flattering. After all, I had taken enough time planning this outfit, it would have been disappointing if he hadn’t noticed.
“I came from work.” It was only a half lie. If it wasn’t for my work demanding that I write another viral post and needing the inspiration from him to do so, I probably would have just worn work-out clothes instead of a sure-to-be-noticed sundress.
Still, I wondered the extent of what Cole thought…if he found me attractive in that way, or at least as attractive as I found him to be. The questions came at me fast and my heart sped up even though our training hadn’t yet begun.
He was so close and so cute. Dark hair that gleamed in the sunlight, his square jaw adorned by a short, soft beard that made him look older than his years. And those eyes…soulful and kind with impossibly long lashes. Why is it that guys have such long lashes when girls have to wear mascara? I started to wonder if the cosmetic companies were actually sabotaging my lashes with their mascara, causing my lashes to fall out and become shorter only so I would keep buying more product.
These thoughts and other crazy, nervous ramblings were attacking my brain when I suddenly realized that Cole had lightly fingered the sheer fabric of my dress, touching the white gossamer fabric at the bottom and slightly lifting it to expose more of my thigh. “I like this dress. You look good in it,” he said simply.
I met his gaze, my breath hitching with his closeness and the compliment. My reaction didn’t escape Cole as he didn’t miss a beat to close the gap between us. Without any more words or preamble, he covered my mouth with his own. He didn’t ask for the kiss, he took it. It was unexpected, but so wanted. My hands found his face, wanting to hold him in place and desiring the feel of his soft beard under my touch. He may be young, but he was all man.
As we kissed, I was aware of his hand slowly moving down my back to finally rest on my butt in the most comforting way I’ve known in a long time. Who am I fooling? It was more than just comfort. It was a welcome surprise. I would never have imagined that Cole would be so confident in his actions. It made me wonder just how experienced he was…from the way he kissed and held me in this simple prelude, I suspected that there had been quite a few girls before me.
When we broke our bond Cole demonstrated his dry wit again. “I’d be quite happy just doing this, but if you’d rather have a lesson, I’ll control myself.”
And then, I couldn’t help but ask…my nerves, my insecurity…it all got the better of me. “Considering your age…and mine…is it easy to control yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
Damn. He wasn’t going to make this part easy. “I mean…are you only being nice to me to get featured in an article? It could boost your PR, which might help solidify your place on the national team, perhaps?”
“Is that what you think?”
At that moment, a car driven by a very pretty college girl slowed next to us. The window rolled down and she called out, “Cole, you never called me. I was down for that party. Next time, okay?”
“Sure,” he called back as if to make my point.
I gestured my head toward the girl who had now driven away. “See? I’m sure you have a lot of options open to you.”
“And I’m very particular. You are something special.” He nuzzled my neck. “And you’re beautiful.” His mouth trailed kisses toward mine once again as he whispered, “And I want to get to know you better. Maybe we should go somewhere to have a bite, and talk, and then I can kiss you again.”
He was so sweet. He wasn’t like the guys who Megan brought home — the ones who just wanted to jump straight into bed and straight to doing the deed. Afterwards, they seemed to feel obligated to fix a leaky sink or help Megan change a lightbulb that was just out of reach. Her life was as romantic as pulling weeds.
It was different with Cole. There were definite advantages to his youth. We were following those unwritten rules about the dating steps. First a kiss. And not just one, but deep, passionate, can’t-pull-apart kisses. The anticipation of doing anything more…the waiting…that was the aphrodisiac.
I was just about to succumb to his kiss once more when the loud sound of a car could be heard approaching. I only knew one car that made that sound…my son’s. I jumped backward faster than a hunted rabbit, hardly believing my eyes.
“We’ve got company. The friend of mine who gave me the combination,” he explained.
“T
hat’s the friend?” I asked in disbelief. “I need to tell you something…”
But before I could, the approaching car stopped, my son got out and called, “Hey Mom…Cole…You two know each other?”
It was one thing to be older. It was quite another to get involved with someone the same age as my own son. Add to the twist that they are friends, and this situation just became a whole lot more complicated.
Chapter Fourteen
“So what are you doing here?” Jack asked and I suddenly felt like our roles had switched, like I was a naughty teenager caught with my hand in the cookie jar or rather, dangerously close to being caught with my hands woven within Cole’s dark, thick waves of hair.
“Like you said…I’ve got an assignment. A sports profile.” I hoped that my voice sounded casual and convincing…both to Jack and for that matter, Cole. I did need another interview and then some if I was to have any success in writing another viral post.
“You could’ve interviewed me,” Jack said.
Maternal instinct mixed with guilt. I looked up to check his intention, to see if he was truly hurt, but then I saw his flash of a smile and heard him say, “Kidding. That would be weird. You gush about me enough.”
He turned his attention to Cole. “I was just swinging by to make sure you got in with the combo I gave you. Sometimes they change it without warning.”
“You staying? Want to hit a few balls?” Cole asked casually and I was thankful that one of us was acting normal.
“I can’t. I have to be at work. See you tonight, Mom,” and then turning to Cole, he added, “Later.”
I felt an awkwardness in the air and I prayed that it existed only in my own mind. But after Jack drove away I turned to Cole with a questioning look to see if he felt it as well. I wondered if this tryst was over before it began. I didn’t want that to be the case. Not only because I was financially dependent on this happening, but also because I now wanted it to happen.
“You’re a mom,” he said immediately.
I wondered if he was mature enough to realize that even moms have needs. That we don’t become sexually dormant after giving birth or maybe he thought since my vagina had pushed out a human being, it was now off limits. The fearful thoughts were running rampant through my mind and I felt myself shrinking away from any proximity to him.
“You think I’m dog food,” I said without thinking.
“What? I do not think you’re dog food. Trust me.”
“What do you think?” I asked quietly.
“I wonder how I got so lucky to attract your attention.”
There was something about this guy. His words warmed my heart. His kiss melted my entire being. This was fun and exciting, and I wanted him.
“It can get kinda crowded here. You want to get outta here?” he asked.
“Definitely.”
Chapter Fifteen
I followed Cole to a tiny strip mall about two miles from the field. Even though it was close by, I never drove in this direction, nor would I think to go into the well hidden taqueria. “How did you ever find this place?”
“It’s a well-known secret amongst the hockey crowd. Best Mexican food around.”
Cole walked over to a small, portable bar that featured different salsas of varying degrees of spiciness, pickled vegetables, and pico de gallo — a melange of chopped tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. Best yet, were the chips in a rainbow of colors.
“Wow, this is unexpected,” I said picking up a purple one.
“Beet root chip,” he noted and then pointed to the others. “Yam, carrot, kale…and over here for the less adventuresome are tortilla chips. Although, they’re homemade too, so there’s nothing run of the mill about them.”
He filled up a plate with chips and small puddles of the different salsas for both of us. We sat in a quiet corner. There was only one other couple in the place and they spoke in Spanish, adding to the authenticity of this hidden gem of a restaurant.
“If the locals like it, you know it’s good,” Cole indicated the couple.
“Something tells me that you appreciate the finer things.” I thought to his car and noted his clothes, which may have been understated, but were still expensive name brands.
He nodded. “I work hard so I guess I feel I deserve the best. Good food. Nice car.” And then his voice dropped and took on a sexier quality as he leaned forward, meeting my gaze. “A comfortable bed with down pillows and soft sheets. A beautiful woman to share it with me. And the good health and stamina to make it all worthwhile.”
Whoa. That last part had me thinking and he seemed to know exactly where my mind had travelled.
“Have you ever been with a younger man?”
My heart started to beat wildly as I entertained the thought. But I couldn’t speak. I merely shook my head ‘no’ and felt the heat rise on my cheeks.
“You’re blushing!” He laughed, making me feel as if I were the young one who was too shy to articulate her thoughts. But it was a warm and inviting laugh that put me at ease. For the rest of our meal, which included chicken and cheese tamales and a sizzling plate of fajitas, the conversation flowed easily and it felt like we had been together forever.
Cole didn’t talk about the same old things that men my age ask on dates, usually dull conversations related to work, designed to impress with the amount of money they earn and power they assert. Their idea of conversation is to either relay the stress or the love of their job as if there’s nothing else that fills their time.
But with Cole the talk was about hopes and dreams — what he wants to accomplish for himself and even the world — his dreams of creating an app that would be a social disruptor, something that can bring about change in the world. And then the real kicker — the game changer that hooked my heart to him was when he asked what I wanted from life.
My ex-husband never seemed to care about my feelings. Instead, I was merely a conduit to fulfill his needs. I can’t even recall how I ever fell into such a traditional role. I was expected to do all the housework, make all the meals, take care of Jack, which I loved doing, but a little help would’ve been nice.
And in the bedroom, it was all about him again. Sometimes I actually felt just one step above that of a prostitute. If I didn’t ensure that he was satisfied there would be hell to pay. My needs or desires never figured into the picture. Instead, I learned to find some life satisfaction through my hobbies, but in the evening when he came home, the tension in the house was palpable and I found myself watching the clock until I could retreat to bed, claiming fatigue.
Tiptoeing around him on weekends was an enormous stress so on the days when he worked late I never complained. I also never wondered if he was having an affair because frankly, it didn’t matter to me. His time away was a welcome reprieve from his abuse. When days turned to weeks and he later told me that he wanted to leave, I accepted without complaint.
Cole spooned the last of the fajitas onto my plate in a funny, familiar gesture. “There’s not enough to take home and too much for me to eat on my own. Save me from myself.”
“If you insist.” I dug in and smiled as the intense flavor of the onions and bell peppers, spices, and warm chicken tantalized my tastebuds.
“You like my taste in food,” he noted. “We should do this more often.”
My heart did a little backflip and I knew that I could get used to this. I realized that I hadn’t given much thought to my ex-husband in recent years. The only reason he entered my mind tonight was that the comparison between he and Cole couldn’t be more different.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” he answered.
There was nothing typical about Cole. He had lived less than two decades, but he was refined and educated, almost worldly. “How are you so…wise? And, to be blunt, so put together?”
He laughed. “What do you mean by that?”
“Come on, your car is amazing. You’re extremely well-groomed with never a hair out of place and i
t seems your closet is full of designer clothes.”
He leaned forward on his elbows and took me in. “That’s very flattering. But, I’m not sure I deserve it. Most of it is due to my father. He’s got a lot of real estate holdings around the world. So I guess that’s how I’ve learned a lot about business, other cultures…we traveled a lot when I was a kid. Not so much any more because I need to be here to train. Olympics are on my bucket list.”
All I could think of was ‘wow.’ He had wisdom and goals, privilege and wealth, but with humility. “You didn’t answer the part about being so well-groomed,” I teased.
“Well, that’s all me. Dad had nothing to do with forming my sense of style. Thankfully.”
Cole was kind and interested in me. Gentle, but with quiet authority. I knew already that he could get me to do anything, and I found myself in an odd quandary of wanting to take care of his needs while also hoping the confidence he displayed now would appear in the bedroom as well.
I knew that part of the appeal he saw in me had to be the experienced older woman cliché, but while that was flattering, I wanted a man. As Cole reached across the table and gently ran his thumb over the back of my hand, I shivered from his gentle touch. But there was a difference between gentleness in a public place and too much of it in a decidedly more intimate setting. If we were to be together, I hoped he wouldn’t be hesitant. I was attracted to his youth, but I wanted the confidence of a man.
If he wouldn’t take any initiative, I didn’t think I could carry out this plan that my boss had laid out for me. Certainly, she couldn’t expect me to take the lead. I wanted to be seduced. If only this assignment wasn’t on the table. If only, Cole saw me and fancied me enough to make a move. Was that too much to expect?
As I looked across the table and my eyes met his, I prayed it wasn’t. He stared back at me and the corner of his mouth lifted as if he could read my thoughts. Once again, I felt myself blushing for what I was thinking, for everything I wanted.
