When the wagon came into view, Zeke couldn’t decide whether he wanted to pull to the side so Josie could see him or hide behind Hawk until the last minute. Never one to hide behind anybody else, or put off the inevitable, Zeke pulled over to the side and moved up alongside Hawk.
“I see you’ve decided it’s better to put on a brave front.”
There were times when Zeke wished Hawk didn’t understand him so well. “No point in avoiding the inevitable.”
But that wasn’t the only reason he had refused to hide behind Hawk. Though he would have denied it to everybody in the world, including Isabelle, he was anxious for his first sight of Josie. Yes, she was a beautiful woman. Yes, it annoyed him that she disliked him so. Yes, she was so feminine it made his body ache with desire. But none of that explained why this woman had him by the jugular. He was helpless to break the hold she had on him, a hold she didn’t appear to want any more than he did. So yes, he was anxious to see her. He couldn’t wait to be close to her again. He hadn’t wanted this, but it had been forced on him by something deep inside. They were going to tangle until he figured out what she’d done to him. He had no idea what the outcome would be, but the battle was inevitable.
Josie sliced the bacon with quick, skilled movements and tossed the pieces into the hot pan with practiced precision. When the water came to a boil, she knew exactly how many scoops of grounds to use to make the right amount of coffee at the right strength. Though it had been years since she’d done anything like this, she hadn’t forgotten the skills she’d acquired nearly as soon as she was able to reach her mother’s stove top.
She hated anything to do with cooking. The sound of the bacon frying in the pan, of grease popping into the crisp morning air, fueled her agitation. It reminded her of the way her father treated her and her mother like virtual slaves. It didn’t matter that her white father had loved his slave enough to take her west after the war and marry her. It didn’t matter that her mother loved her father enough to do whatever he wished. It mattered to Josie that her father treated them both as though they had no purpose in life other than to satisfy his every wish. When she tried to rebel, she felt the lash of his tongue or the back of his hand. Later, her mother would spend hours trying to convince Josie that her father was the most wonderful man on earth. Josie had finally learned to keep her opinions to herself, her gaze lowered so her father couldn’t see the fury in her eyes, and to find something that needed doing as far from her father’s presence as possible.
She wasn’t in a receptive frame of mind when she looked up and saw Suzette and the mules approaching, accompanied by Zeke and Hawk. She slammed down her knife and wrapped up the bacon. She hoped they’d already eaten, because if they hadn’t, they’d go hungry before she cooked for them. She hadn’t fixed enough coffee, and it wasn’t nearly strong enough for Zeke’s taste. She didn’t understand how he could drink the stuff he liked. It looked like the tar she used to collect from an oil seep on their farm in Wyoming. They’d used it to start fires.
She could imagine the superior smile on Zeke’s face right now, the smirk that said he knew she couldn’t make it to Tombstone without his help. Knowing he was right made that truth even harder to swallow. She stopped pacing, turned in their direction, placed her hands on her hips, and tried to think of some withering remark that would tell Zeke in a single sentence exactly how she felt about his presence.
“They found our mules,” Suzette said.
The obvious statement threw Josie off stride, but not nearly so much as Zeke’s expression. He looked like he was braced for an attack. He came to a stop with his legs apart, arms held slightly out from his sides, his body balanced on the balls of his feet. His gaze was fixed on her, but his jaw was clenched and his lips were compressed until they formed a tight circle. The hand still holding the rope attached to the mule’s bridle was clenched into a tight fist.
It shocked Josie to realize that his reaction was entirely due to his expectation of what she would say and do. She’d never thought her behavior was so terrible, her words so ill-natured. She just didn’t mind telling people who bothered her that she didn’t want them hanging around. Zeke’s reaction made it plain he saw her as some kind of hellcat. If not a hellcat, at least a very nasty woman. But she wasn’t like that. All she wanted was to be left alone.
“Thank you.”
The words surprised Josie as much as they appeared to surprise Zeke and the others. She wanted to retract them the moment they left her lips, yet she didn’t want Zeke to go on thinking she was some kind of raving, irrational, ungrateful woman. She wasn’t. Really. But life had taught her some particularly painful lessons, and she had no intention of allowing herself to be in a position to experience any of them again. She moved her hands from her hips, gripped them together in front of her, a gesture she realized was totally out of character.
“I’m afraid I haven’t made enough breakfast for everybody,” she said. “If you want something to eat, there’s plenty more—”
“We’ve already eaten,” Zeke said.
Thank goodness Zeke interrupted her. She was about to say she could cut some more bacon, make some more coffee. She was about to act just like her father had expected her to act. Knowing that clarified some of the confusion in her mind. She didn’t intend to cook for Zeke and Hawk. But she also didn’t want Zeke to continue thinking of her as some kind of hate-filled woman. She didn’t hate him. She even thought he was attractive, probably nice as well, but she knew what she wanted out of life. More importantly, she knew what she didn’t want, and she didn’t want anybody to be in doubt about that.
“Would you like some coffee?” Suzette asked.
“I’d love some,” Zeke said.
Josie grabbed the pot. “It’s not strong enough for you.”
“I don’t care,” Zeke replied.
“It won’t take long to make some more,” Suzette offered. “I’ll just have to heat some more water.”
“You know you can’t make decent coffee,” Josie said to Suzette.
It had always seemed ironic to Josie that Suzette didn’t mind living in the West but knew so little about how to take care of herself, while Josie hated it but could survive quite nicely on her own. The difference hadn’t mattered in Globe, because they lived in a rooming house where they had their meals prepared for them, their washing sent out, their rooms cleaned, even their beds made. Now Suzette’s lack of knowledge manifested itself constantly, especially when she offered to do things she couldn’t.
“It doesn’t matter. I can drink the coffee you already have,” Zeke said.
“There won’t be enough for all of us,” Josie pointed out.
Josie realized she was sending mixed messages, neither of which was what she wanted to say. She was merely pointing out the obvious, but Suzette looked embarrassed, and Zeke looked like he’d rather be anywhere than where he was. Hawk looked from one to the other with no identifiable expression.
“It won’t take but a few minutes to make some more,” Josie said.
Again, she’d said something she hadn’t meant to say, but she couldn’t back down now. To cover her confusion, she turned away and walked to the wagon to get some more coffee beans. Once she was out of sight of the others, her body sagged against the wagon. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Her brain and her tongue didn’t seem to be connected. Either that, or her brain had divided into halves, with each sending different messages. Whatever the problem, it was Zeke’s fault.
“I’ll take the mules for a drink before we harness them,” Hawk said.
“I’ll go with you,” Suzette offered.
Josie grabbed the coffee beans and scooted around the corner of the wagon, protests against being left alone with Zeke teetering on the end of her tongue, but Suzette and Hawk had already turned toward the river. To call them back now would be to offer an even bigger insult. As much as she didn’t want to be left alone with Zeke, he didn’t deserve that.
“You want me to
leave, don’t you?” Zeke asked.
“No.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. She’d rather he were not here, but her real objection was to being left alone with him. His knowing smile made her squirm.
“I never pictured you as one to lie, even about little things.”
“I didn’t lie. I don’t want you to leave.”
“Okay, but you don’t want me to be here either.”
She nodded.
“Because you don’t like me.”
“I don’t dislike you.”
Josie didn’t understand why it should be so important to her that Zeke believe she didn’t dislike him. Maybe she just didn’t want him to have the wrong impression about her. After all, she wasn’t cruel. She simply didn’t want a relationship with a man, and Zeke seemed exactly the kind of man she most wanted to avoid. If she lacked any other reason—and she had plenty—the fact that he confused her was enough.
“Why don’t you fix your own coffee?” she said, holding the coffee beans out to him. “You know better than I how you like it.”
Zeke took the coffee from her with a disbelieving grimace. “You just can’t bring yourself to do anything for me, can you? I wish you’d tell me what I did to make you dislike me so much.”
“I don’t dislike you.”
“Yeah, and the look you’re giving me isn’t saying I wish you were dead.” He strode to the back of the wagon. “Where do you keep your extra pots? Never mind. I found one.” He filled it with water and settled it on the coals. “Hawk and Suzette have decided that since we’re going the same way, we ought to travel together,” he said, looking up at her from where he was squatting by the fire. “We need to get a few things straight between us if that’s going to work.”
Josie’s confusion of the last several minutes was nothing compared to the chaos Zeke’s announcement created among her thoughts. She was furious at Hawk and Suzette for making such a decision without consulting her, surprised Zeke would even consider it, and petrified that she might actually be feeling relieved. “What do you think?”
Zeke’s gaze narrowed. “That depends on you.”
His gaze was so piercing, she had to stop herself from stepping back. “How do you mean?”
Zeke’s gaze didn’t waver. “I’d prefer to get our horses to the ranch as quickly as possible. That would be easier without a wagon, and traveling alone, we’d be better able to avoid trouble with horse thieves.”
“How many times has somebody tried to steal your horses?”
“Just once, but we got away without too much trouble. The mares can run faster than a horse carrying a man. Your mules couldn’t, even if they weren’t dragging a wagon.”
She faced him squarely. “Then leave us.”
“We couldn’t do that.”
“Why not? You’re more concerned about your horses than you are about us.”
Was that one of the reasons she was so irritated with him? She hoped she hadn’t become so pathetic she could be jealous of a bunch of pregnant mares.
“If we decide to take you with us, we’ll be just as responsible for you and Suzette as for the horses.”
“I thought it was already decided.”
He gave her a questioning look. “It won’t be if you or I don’t go along with it.”
“And whether you agree depends on me.”
Zeke poured a healthy amount of coffee into the boiling water. “Look, we both know you practically get hives when you see me. I’m not about to spend the rest of this trip having to watch my back.”
“You think I might try to hurt you?” Surely he couldn’t believe she was violent. “Look, I’ve had some bad experiences with men.”
“Then you shouldn’t hang around with men who’re drunk and starved for the sight of a woman. It’s a bad combination.”
Josie’s body stiffened at the implied insult. “I entertain men. I don’t hang around with them.”
“What do you call working in a saloon?”
“A job.”
“If you lie down with dogs, you’re bound to get up with fleas.”
Rage consumed Josie so completely, she picked up the pot of brewing coffee and hurled it at Zeke before she realized what she was doing. When he yelled and threw himself to one side, escaping the boiling water, she went after him, the pot raised over her head. One minute she was chasing him. The next he had her firmly in his grip, her body pressed tightly against him. He applied pressure to her wrist until her grip relaxed and the pot slid from her grasp.
“What in hell is wrong with you?” Zeke demanded.
“I won’t let anybody call me a whore.” She struggled to break away, but Zeke’s grip was like iron. She tried to kick him, but he pinned her legs between his.
“I never said anything like that,” Zeke protested. “I wouldn’t even if I’d thought it.”
“You accused me of lying down with dogs.”
“That’s just an expression. It means if you hang around dangerous people, you can expect dangerous things to happen to you.”
The fight went out of Josie, but she didn’t stop struggling. She didn’t want Zeke to know how relieved she was he didn’t think she was a whore. “I don’t believe you.”
“So what else is new?”
The feeling coursing through her body was new. Now that the blinding rage had receded, she was aware her body was in intimate contact with Zeke’s. Her back was pressed against his chest, his arms across her chest resting against her breasts as he held her hands in his unbreakable grip. But it was the power of his thighs holding her lower body motionless that was gradually draining the strength from her muscles, making it impossible for her to struggle against him.
Even though she tried to tell herself she didn’t want him to touch her, that she didn’t even want him close to her, her body was ignoring her brain and sending its own messages, forcing her to acknowledge them in spite of herself. She didn’t want to feel pleasure at a man’s touch. She didn’t want to feel excitement at his closeness. Most of all, she didn’t want to feel desire for a man, need for one. That need had made a slave of her mother even after the law had declared she was free.
“Let me go,” Josie said.
“Not until I’m sure you won’t throw anything else at me.”
“I won’t.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
She couldn’t tell him she wanted him to let her go because she was afraid she would start to like being held in his arms. She certainly wouldn’t tell him the feel of his body against her own was making her so warm she was having trouble thinking clearly. She absolutely wouldn’t tell him that she was beginning to wonder if he might be different from all the other men in her life.
Despite the fact that he was attracted to her—she’d seen evidence of that on at least two occasions—he didn’t lose control. She felt something perilously akin to regret. She took pride in her ability to control her feelings for men. Consequently, it embarrassed her to be unable to control her feelings for Zeke. In the same vein, she prided herself in her ability to make any man want her. It hurt her vanity—and threatened her security—to discover that Zeke could control his feelings for her more effectively than she could control her feelings for him.
“You don’t, but you can dunk me in the river if I make any attempt to attack you again.”
“Well, well.” Suzette’s voice came from behind them. “And I thought you two didn’t like each other.”
Chapter Seven
Zeke released Josie and stepped back. It would be impossible to explain the circumstances. He could tell from the expressions on Suzette’s and Hawk’s faces that they weren’t going to believe anything he said.
“We’ve decided to become best friends,” Josie said, sarcasm vying with embarrassment for prominence in her voice. “That was just our way of sealing the agreement.”
The satisfied look disappeared from Suzette’s face. Hawk’s expression barely changed. It was his eyes that told Zeke he didn�
��t believe a word. He looked for the coffeepot and found it only a couple feet away. He poured more water in it and set it back on the coals.
“I thought the water would have been hot by now,” Hawk said.
“We had an accident,” Zeke said.
“It was no accident.” From her stormy expression, it was clear that Josie didn’t mean to hide behind Zeke’s excuse. “Zeke is just trying to protect me. I misunderstood something he said and threw the coffee at him.” Her cheeks aflame, she faced Hawk and Suzette as though daring either of them to say anything. “I missed. He very wisely grabbed hold of me to prevent me from throwing anything else. I should apologize. He’s never done anything to make me think he would make a rude remark.”
Leaving three people staring at her in disbelief, Josie walked away and disappeared along the path to the river. Zeke was surprised that Josie had taken responsibility for the misunderstanding. It was even harder to believe that she’d apologized.
“What did you say to her?” Even Hawk, usually indifferent to people’s behavior, was curious about what could have caused such a change in Josie.
His words hadn’t seemed ugly when he’d said them, but now Zeke felt slightly embarrassed. “If you lie down with dogs, you have to expect to get up with fleas.”
“That doesn’t sound so terrible,” Suzette said.
Zeke ducked his head. “It’s what I said earlier that made it sound bad.”
Hawk chuckled softly. “And you’re supposed to be the one who’s good at talking to women.”
Zeke looked up, shrugged, and reached for the coffee beans. “All bets are off when it comes to Josie.”
Suzette moved closer to Zeke. “It’s not your fault. She’s had some bad experiences with men.”
“I’m not asking her to fall in love with me.” Zeke was unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. “But I don’t see how traveling together will work if she’s going to take everything I say the wrong way.”
“Are you saying you won’t let us travel with you?” Suzette asked.
The Mavericks Page 9
