by Lena Skye
“Yes, what are you doing here?” I asked Kenneth.
“Hello to you too Nicole,” Ken said with humor in his voice. “If you must know, I’m here with a few of my friends,” he said as he mocked my voice from last night and motioned to some guys at the bar, “I hope that’s okay with you”
“Of course that’s okay,” Joshua responded. He was so fucking clueless. How could he be a jealous person one minute and then blind to an actual threat to our relationship? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Ken was doing here.
I placed my pool stick on the table and crossed my arms, “Joshua can we please leave now?
“Babe, don’t be like that. We’re all adults here and there isn’t any animosity between anyone,” Joshua said as he closed the space between us and kissed me on the lips. His arms went around my waist and he held me close to his body. I was unable to return his level of passion because I felt so weird about the situation.
“Exactly,” Kenneth said, “We’re all grown here and we’re all happy. We may as well get used to seeing other because this situation seems very, er... permanent,” he said as his jaw tightened.
There it was, that raw emotion that he always tried the hardest to hide. I knew that he didn’t enjoy seeing Joshua kiss me but he wasn’t going to say anything. He was the king of cool. Since he seemed like he was going to hang around for a bit, I wanted to get back at him. I looked into Joshua’s eyes and pretended that Ken wasn’t standing there.
“You’re right, I need to stop being so sensitive. You and I are together and we’re happy. You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” I leaned in and kissed him slowly and softly on the lips.
In my head I was thinking, ‘Take that asshole’. I was determined to put on a show for him since he wasn’t going to leave. Maybe if he saw how happy I was with Josh he would finally give up.
“Where is Amelia?” I asked him, “We could have gone ahead and completed this little reunion.”
He laughed and said, “Amelia is busy tonight so I had to entertain myself.”
Two things ran through my head when he said that. The first was that I was a little jealous of Amelia because she had Kenneth and he’s very secure within himself. He never caused a ruckus when I wanted to go out and be with my friends. I didn’t have to try to appease him when I was late. He always understood that I had a life outside of him.
The second thing that ran through my head was that he’s still the same old Kenneth. His girlfriend is busy and so he chooses to chase a woman that’s not her. Instead of just having innocent fun, he’s out being an asshole. That was the part of him that I didn’t miss at all.
“You always seem to do a good job at that,” I said with more bite in my voice than I intended.
“Ouch, just when I thought that you accepted all of my apologies,” he responded.
The tension between us was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. I was seething on the inside and it was making Kenneth bolder. The real problem for me was that the more he was around, the more that I realized I missed him. He was making me second guess my feelings for Joshua and that was what was pissing me off even more. My life has been happy and I’ve felt content. Joshua was safe, my oasis, and I always know how he feels about me. I’ve never had to guess with him or chase him.
Kenneth was always a conundrum, he kept you on your toes and he was exciting. I’ve realized that exciting isn’t always a good thing. I’m not looking for a challenge anymore; I finally want to settle for the good guy.
The choice of words in my head sent me into deep thought.
Was I settling for Joshua? I like him but is he really the person that I’m meant to be with, or was he just a rebound? And by settling for Joshua, am I settling for second best? I refused to acknowledge that possible truth in my head.
“I’ve accepted your apologies,” I told Kenneth, “And I’ve moved on. I’m glad that you’re happy.” I looked at Joshua, “Can we please go now? I’m hungry and I don’t want bar food.”
Joshua had a confused look on his face but he finally took my cue and understood that I was ready to leave. It took him long enough. His cluelessness was annoying me further. I understand that he and Joshua are best friends but we were all going to need some serious boundaries if this arrangement was going to have any chance of working. He seemed to be blind when it came to Kenneth, he wasn't just able to charm women it seemed guys would follow his every word too. Like he was some sort of feared Mafia boss.
“Okay we can leave, I’m a bit hungry too,” he said to me before he looked at Kenneth, “I’ll see you later?”
“Of course, we’re still on for basketball tomorrow right? You can’t have us losing the way that you were losing to Nicole before I came in here,” he said with a smirk.
“Yeah I’ll be there tomorrow and whatever dude. You know that when I’m on that court, I’m a beast. I don’t play any games and it’s not my fault that she conned me today. I blame you, you never told me that she was this good,” he laughed.
I blushed deeply at Joshua’s compliment because I knew the way that Kenneth’s mind worked. In his head that last comment was sexual. Kenneth and I always had mind blowing sex. He made my body do things that I swore they never could. Him and I always seemed to be in sync and on another level. I had good sex with Joshua, but I had AMAZING sex with Kenneth. I never knew what I was going to get with him. One day he would be gentle and then the next day he would treat me like a slut. Call me weird, but I loved the variety and it kept me hooked.
*
We found a high end restaurant that was still open. We just beat the cut off time by 5 minutes. When we stepped in, there were patrons eating their meals. We walked in and no one came by to service us. A hostess finally came and told us that they were closed. I stood by and waited for Joshua to work his magic. There is no way that we should have been turned down for service because they were still supposed to be still seating for another 5 minutes.
Joshua responded by saying, “Oh okay, we’re sorry. We did come in at the last minute. Have a great night,” and then he grabbed my hand and walked us out the door. Speechless doesn’t even describe how I was feeling. I was pissed, disgusted, and annoyed all at the same time. What kind of man just lets this kind of thing happen? If I was out with Patrice, we would have been sitting at a table by now. Shit, if Kenneth was here we would not only be getting service but they would be kissing our ass too. None of them would just let that happen.
He just let them shoo us out of the restaurant because they were too lazy to serve us. I wanted to tell him that he should be more forceful, usually just asking a second time will get a table. It is money for the restaurant after all. As he walked me towards the car, I felt my phone buzz inside of my pocket. I already had a huge idea of who it was. I slid into the car and waited for Joshua to walk to his side before I checked my phone. I had another text from Ken and it said ‘I miss you already.’ I sighed but a part of me felt happy to receive the message. Why in the hell should I care if he missed me or not? He’s disrespectful and he shouldn’t be doing this.
I wanted to stay mad at him but it was hard to do when I missed him so much. At first his vast differences from Joshua made me appreciate Joshua more. But as my relationship with Joshua progressed, I missed Kenneth a lot more. The honeymoon period with Joshua was definitely fading away.
Women everywhere would probably want to choke me if they could hear the thoughts that were running through my head. I really was starting to miss Kenneth. Seeing him so much recently was messing with my mind. I was no longer happy and content. I cursed myself for being so fickle. Why do we women do this to ourselves? We never want the “good guy” and Joshua is a really good guy.
There was no guarantee that if I got back with Ken, that things would be any different. I would maybe call him tomorrow to set up a lunch with him so that we could talk. That way I could sleep on my thoughts and make sure that it’s not the liquor talking.
I drove home and was happy that Joshua was heading to his home and not my own. He had to get an early start in the morning and he didn’t bring a change of clothes with him. So I drove straight to the nearest McDonalds and ordered a Big Mac and fries. The entire time I could only think that Kenneth would never let me go hungry and he would never let me eat McDonalds alone after a date.
*
Work wise, this was a busy point in time for me because I had to get prepped for the change in seasons. My clients always want what’s hot and new in their stores and I can’t say that I blame them. So this involves me looking at the competition, going to fashion shows, and private viewings of collections. I have a wide array of clientele and so my days are endless. I love what I do but it keeps me busy.
I’ve been so busy that I was unable to contact Kenneth and schedule a meeting to really talk things over. I was also unable to see Joshua as much as I would have liked to which was a bit of a relief in some ways. When I got home, I would crash into the bed and then wake up to do it all over again. Of course this lead to a lot of text messages and phone calls from him. One moment he would accuse me of cheating and then the next moment he would tell me how much he missed me. He was coming off as being pretty bi polar and it was starting to get to me.
I did miss Joshua but the drama and his accusations were just starting to become too much. I enjoyed the time that we had together but it could be so much better if he wasn’t so insecure. Maybe the circumstances under which we got together is what’s driving him crazy and understandably so. But I’ve been faithful to him and that’s just the kind of person that I am. He hasn’t had a valid reason to think the way that he does about me.
I was in my bed catching up on my favorite shows with my DVR and my phone rang. I hoped that it wasn’t Joshua because I just wanted a little bit of peace. I planned on seeing him the next day and having some sex but I was not in the mood for the talking part. I looked at my phone and saw that it was Kenneth. I hesitantly answered the phone; I didn’t have a clue as to what he wanted now. His text messages had stopped over the last few days. I missed them a little but I told myself that maybe he’d gotten a clue. Maybe it was for the best we stopped speaking.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey Nicole, I’m sorry to call you so late but I wanted to speak to you while I still had the nerve,” he said.
He sounded pretty humble over the phone and that worried me. Did someone pass away?
“Okay tell me what’s going on,” I replied.
“Can you meet me tomorrow for dinner? I promise that I’m not up to any dirt, I just want to talk to you in person. It is really important.”
I thought of my plans with Joshua and I knew that he would be upset about me canceling on him but my curiosity about what Ken wanted was too great. I would just invite Josh to spend the night with me and that should handle the problem.
“Sure, just let me know where you want me to meet you. After 7 works best for me.”
“Okay sounds good, I’ll text you in the morning with the details and I’ll make sure it’s local.”
I love how Kenneth takes charge. We never go back and forth over where we’re going to met because he always takes the initiative. Women love a decisive man that knows how to make small decisions like that. It makes us feel more feminine. It’s annoying to have to go back and forth with a man over where you should go out. Just make a damned decision and we’ll be there.
I took another sip of my wine before I got nice and comfy in my bed. Tomorrow was going to be another long day for me but I had butterflies in my stomach as I thought about meeting with Ken.
I was actually excited to see him, surely this is wrong?
#Chapter7
“Just for fun, I might do it again”
Kenneth
My cell phone has been blowing up all day. Joshua is really pissed that I canceled on him today. The inviting him over to spend the night didn’t work as well as I thought that it would. He was becoming more trouble than he seemed to be worth. Relationships should be fun, especially in the beginning. I’ve been having some fun with him, when he’s in good spirits and not worrying about what I’m doing or what I’m not doing but is this going to be how it is forever?
Driving to the restaurant to meet Kenneth seemed to take forever. The restaurant isn’t far; my nerves are just on high alert. I’ve been watching my clock all day and that’s made everything go by so slowly. I really hate feeling like this. I went home first to touch up my hair and makeup and to change clothes. I was completely unsure as to what I should wear. I didn’t want to overdress but I didn’t want to look too casual. So I settled for a plain form fitting purple dress and accessorized it. I look pretty good if I must say so myself.
My thoughts turn to Ken and what he wanted. What in the hell would he have to say? He probably had bad news about Joshua. Maybe Mr. Perfect wasn’t so perfect at all. However, snitching wasn’t a part of Kenneth’s behavior. If there was something wrong with Joshua, he would remain loyal to his friend and let me find out about it on my own. Those two had been best friends since they were young. They were the kind of friends that grew up next door to each other and their parents were best friends too. It would take a lot for them to turn on each other.
It had to be really nice to have a person that you could depend on in that way for your whole life.
I was happy that my dating Joshua didn’t ruin their friendship; if it did I would have bowed out all together. Nothing is worth the loss of a lifelong friend. But they have been handling everything in a pretty mature way. I seem to be the only one that feels weird about the situation.
I pulled up to the Four Seasons Hotel and handed my keys over to the valet attendant. We were dining at Park 75 and it brought back so many memories. This was not only one of our favorite hotels but we loved the restaurant. Their ingredients were so fresh and they were grown right on their own terrace. I sighed as I walked towards the restaurant and hoped that he wouldn’t crush me with whatever it was that he wanted to talk about.
I walked into the restaurant and the hostess greeted me with a warm smile, “Ms. Berry?” she asked.
“Yes,” I responded.
“Great, Mr. Matthews is expecting you. He’s already seated, can you follow me please?”
“Absolutely,” I said as I followed behind her towards our table.
It was in fact our table; we always sat in the same spot when we came here. Kenneth and I are big fans of tradition and creatures of habit when it came to dating and going out. We always wanted the same table at each restaurant that we’d gone to. It made it feel so much more special.
He stood from his seat when he saw me approaching the table. He gave me a modest hug and pulled out my chair for me. He smelled really good and I inhaled the fresh scent of his aftershave.
“Well we haven’t been here in while,” I said breathlessly.
The nostalgia of the situation was beginning to overtake me. I looked over the table at him and he gave a slight smile. He almost looked sad, and my heart dropped. Kenneth rarely looked downtrodden; he was the king of cool.
“You’re right, it has been a while. Over a year since we’ve been here together,” he said.
I raised my eyebrow at the ‘together’ part of his sentence. I wondered if he had brought any other women here besides me. We were no longer together but that thought didn’t make me happy at all. There were so many places in Atlanta that I wouldn’t go to because of the memories that Kenneth and I created there. I wouldn’t want to share them with anyone else, it sounds naive but that’s just how I feel.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he laughed, “I’ve never brought any women here that I’ve been dating.”
Relief flooded through me and his laugh soothed my soul. I loved his laugh and he always did a lot of it. That’s one thing about him that I’ve missed. He had the ability to make me laugh in a way that no one else could. He brought so much joy to my life.
; “Remember our first date here?” he asked.
I laughed, “I remember it very well. You told them that we were engaged so that we would get extra special treatment. We were only on our third date. I thought you were crazy! The entire room was clapping and you gave me that bubble gum machine ring and they put it on a cupcake!”
“Yeah I don’t know what was funnier, the rooms reaction or yours.”
“Probably mine because I thought you were crazy. You warned me that you had something up your sleeve but I didn’t think that would be it.”
“Well I asked you if you liked to have fun and you said yes. I warned you that something crazy was going to happen and to just go with it.”
“You did warn me but come on. You had me wondering why the staff was being so attentive to us and why rose petals were on our table and no one else’s.”
This got a hearty laugh from him, “That’s when I saw what a good sport you were. You even said no in front of everyone. You hurt my heart Nicole.”
“I didn’t hurt your heart. I figured that since you wanted to put on a show, we may as well make it a soap opera. I thought that we were never going to be able to show our faces in this place again.”
