by Lena Skye
I waited for a half hour for him to arrive, and he never showed up. I started my work out without him, and I was getting more and more pissed as the time went by. Why in the hell did he drop off the face of the earth? I don’t like that kind of behavior from my man and he knows that.
I went through the rest of my workout so that I could get my rage out. I couldn’t wait to see my friends in a few hours because I had some serious venting that I needed to do. Who in the hell did he think he was? He would have a complete fit if I disappeared on him the way that he did.
I went home to shower, nap, and to put on a great outfit. I wore my hair up in one of those buns that I love so much, put on a huge pair of earrings, and wore deep red lipstick. I always wore red lipstick when I wanted to look severe. I was in a severe kind of mood.
I showed up to the restaurant and my girls were already seated. As soon as I sat down Patrice lit into me.
“Girl why weren’t you at the party last night?”
“Well Ken and I had a workout this morning, and I didn’t want to be tempted to drink,” I said.
Jasmine and Patrice looked at each other and then gave me a puzzled look.
“Ummm, Ken’s ass wasn’t fit to work out this morning,” Jasmine said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“He was boozing it up last night at the party is why.”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me, “I said in disbelief.
“No girl, we’re not kidding. He was knocking down shots like they were water. He was the life of the party. And the soul!”
I was so angry that my hands began to shake. Clearly partying was more important than the agreement that we had. Why would he go to Desmond’s party and not tell me? Why would he even go to Desmond's party in the first place? Unless Josh dragged him along.
Either way, he was being such an inconsiderate asshole. He wasn’t supposed to be drinking at all. I wasn’t sure if I was more jealous or pissed. I tried my best to hide my anger because I didn’t want them to know.
“Oh okay, he told me that he was going out but I didn’t realize that’s where he was going,” I said coolly, “I guess some stuff got lost in translation.”
Jasmine gave me a suspicious look but let it go, “Anyway, Ken and Desmond squared up to each other and it looked like it might get heavy. It was a huge debacle but luckily it was squashed before anyone threw a punch.”
I gave a huge sigh, “Why must men act like such douche bags in public. That’s what happens when there is too much testosterone and alcohol in one place.”
“You’re right about that,” Patrice agreed.
So not only did Ken go out behind my back, he was also trying to start trouble with Desmond. That was probably his whole motive for going there in the first place. This entire situation was unacceptable, especially since Desmond was my client now. My boyfriend went to one of my client’s parties and tried to start a damned argument with him. I didn’t have to be there to know who started that confrontation. I made a mental note to apologize profusely to Desmond later. I could only hope that it wouldn’t affect our business relationship. I don’t play around when it comes to my career, and I didn’t like the idea of him jeopardizing it.
“I’m sorry ladies; I have to go see Ken. I spent all that time being upset with him, and it was my fault for being so forgetful.”
“Alright Chica, call us later,” Patricia said.
“Bye hun, love you,” Jasmine said as I got up from the table.
I kissed them both of the cheek, “Love you more.”
*
I headed to Kenneth’s house in a fury. I hoped like hell that this isn’t what our year was going to be like. He couldn’t disappear off the face of the earth, go partying, and start trouble while we were together. It didn’t just make me look bad, but it made him look bad too. Word travels fast and if he looks like a loose cannon people will drop him as their accountant. Everyone loves to see a fool, but no one wants to work with one.
I showed up to his new apartment because I had a huge feeling that it was where he would be. I leaned on the doorbell because no one was answering me, but their cars were outside. Someone buzzed me in, and I walked to the door. Joshua was there with a smirk. I wanted to wipe it off of his face, but I chose not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me upset. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he was enjoying every minute of it. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him and Kenneth, and so I had to pick my battles wisely.
“You must be looking for Ken,” he said.
“Yes, is he here?”
“Yep he’s in the room,” he said as he opened the door wide enough for me to come in. I had to brush past his body to get inside of the apartment. He was being a dick. I walked to Ken’s room and saw him damned near passed out on his bed. If I was evil I would have doused him with water, but I was going to be nice this time.
“Ken,” I said as shook him awake.
“What?” he asked before he opened his eyes.
“Wake up, I want to talk to you,” I watched as his eyes slowly opened.
“Oh hey babe,” he reached towards me and tried to get me to lay down with him. I was disgusted because he still smelled like alcohol. Being with someone that was drunk wasn’t any fun unless you were in the same state.
“This is ridiculous Ken!”
“Oh hell no. I know you didn’t come over here to nag me.”
“I’m not nagging. You broke our agreement, and you stood me up this morning,” I said.
“Oh babe, I am sorry I just remembered” He said slowly. “I honestly forgot about the workout.”
“Whatever, you came up missing on me last night. I don’t play that shit. This morning would have been easier to forgive if you would have kept it real with me in the beginning,” I spat.
“Babe, I’m sorry. You’re right I should have called. I promise that I’ll make it up to you. Josh and the guys just dragged me out last minute.”
I knew that he was just apologizing so that I would be quiet but how can you continue to berate a person that had apologized? He reached for my arm again and pulled me into a liquor soaked hug. I laid next to him for a few moments, and he began to snore in my ear. I pushed his arm off of me and left his house still pissed off. It was an annoying fuck up but I guess I was over reacting. He really did seem like he forgot.
I decided to contact a potential client to see if she wanted to meet up to discuss some things. She was one of the few boutiques that were open on Sunday and I hopped in my car and prepared to head across town. One thing that always made me feel better was the prospect of making more money.
I was stopped at one of the longest red lights in all of Atlanta and so I pulled out my phone to check Facebook. It was a horrible addiction of mine but I wasn’t looking for a cure. I saw that Ken had been tagged in a photo by Josh. I looked at the photo, and it was Ken standing in between two beautiful models and one of them was kissing his check. I screamed out loud for the first time in a long time. I was just so damned frustrated, and if I didn’t need my phone I would have thrown it out the window.
The photo was pretty innocent I tried to tell myself but the irrational part of me was pissed off about it. Maybe he would feel some remorse once he sobered up, but I truly doubted it. I wasn’t going to bother him about the photo because then I really would just look like a nagger.
I saw that I missed a text, and it was from Desmond.
To: Me
From: Desmond
I missed you at the party last night
I rolled my eyes at my phone.
“And I’m tired of your inappropriate ass too,” I said out loud to my phone.
I could have responded rudely and reminded him that I wasn’t his damned girlfriend, but I decided that not saying anything was best. I wasn’t in the greatest mood and so responding out of frustration would not help anyone. I turned on my gospel music and tried to let it sink in. I needed some peace and clarity in my life because everything was driv
ing me crazy. I wasn’t usually an angry or frustrated person, but I’ve been experiencing it a lot lately.
It was time for me to calm the hell down. My life was good; I had a great boyfriend even though he was being a bit of an ass, an amazing career, and even better friends. When I thought about it like that I realized life was not as bad as I was making it out to be. Sometimes I can just get really insecure I guess.
Maybe I just need to chill the fuck out and stop over-thinking everything. My breathing regulated as I listened to Yolanda Adams and I drove to meet my potential client.
Breathe Nicole, Breathe...
#Chapter7
“I can’t stand those evil ass fur balls.”
Patrice
My life over the last few days has consisted of nothing but work, work and more work.
I’m not complaining at all because I love the money. Desmond has been a hot ticket item and the word has traveled fast that his new line is about to sell like hotcakes. I’ve had several boutiques that aren’t my clients call me about getting his line. I’ve told them to contact him directly, and they’ve said that he’s referred them to me.
Now, that’s something that he hasn’t had to do at all because he could cut me out (the middle man) and pocket all of the cash for himself. I’ve never exclusively represented a designer before, and so this is new territory. My interest has always been in favor of boutiques, but I must say that I like it a lot. He’s opened up a lot of doors for me, and now companies that hadn’t worked with me in the past are showing a lot of interest.
Desmond is taking my career to the next level without even realizing it, and I’m so thankful for that. I’ve been in need of some elevation because everything has felt stagnant. An assistant is going to be in my very near future because I’m going to need someone to be the gatekeeper. I also have the tendency to double book myself. It’s hard to tell clients and potential clients no. I want to make them all happy and at times that’s just not possible.
I’ve wanted to spend more time with Kenneth, but he’s been pretty busy as well and our schedules haven’t been synching. It’s a little frustrating to not be able to see him as much as I’m accustomed to. His new place has completely thrown a wrench in our time together. When he’s off work he wants to hang out with his friends. He invites me over, but I just don’t feel comfortable in the house with Joshua.
It’s all just been so incredibly annoying, and I’ve done my best to keep quiet to prevent causing problems. I didn’t expect our reconciliation to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard. A huge part of me feels like he has gone back on his word. I took him back because I thought that things would be different, but they seem to be back to the status quo. I didn’t sign up for this; I want a man that I can see daily.
I picked up my phone again out of frustration and called him in the middle of the day. Usually we don’t speak during traditional business hours because we’re pretty busy. That’s one of the things that I love and dislike about him at the same time. I appreciate him not being clingy, but it would be nice to feel cared about. He’s been showing more of it, but it’s been aggressive and not attractive.
“Hello?”
“Hey babe,” I said as brightly as I could.
“Hey you, what’s up?”
“Well you’ve been on my mind heavily for the last few days. I know that things have been a little tense and that we’re both busy. However, I was hoping that we could make some time for one another soon.”
“I miss you too,” he said warmly, “How about we get together and do something on Friday night?”
He and I may go out every now and then on Friday nights, but Thursday nights were usually reserved for dates.
“What about our Thursday night date?” I inquired.
“I have a meeting,” he said.
“What kind of meeting happens on Thursday after 9 p.m.?”
“I’m meeting Loren. She just got a modeling contract and she wants me to handle her funds.”
I’m sure that wasn’t all that she wanted my man to handle. I wasn’t in the mood for this foolishness.
“But I thought that you weren’t going to take on anymore small time models,” I said tightly.
“Yeah I know, but she is a friend of ours at this point, and this could be a good opportunity. She’s about to blow the hell up, she’s hot property in Atlanta right now.”
He hasn’t even begun to see ‘blow up,’ because that’s exactly what I felt like doing over the phone. This girl was after my man, and now she found a way to weasel her way into his life. I was beyond annoyed, and I wanted to yell at him for being so damned naïve but I knew that we would argue.
“Why does your meeting have to happen at night?’ I asked.
“I’m not sure, but it’s what she wanted and she said that she wasn’t available at any other time. You know that I always meet clients on their terms if it’s my only option.”
“Alright,” I shrugged, “Friday it is.”
“Good,” he said with a smile, “I have to go, but I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said before I hung up.
I closed my eyes and sat back in my chair at my office. I wanted to tell him not to meet her, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want him to stand in the way of Desmond being my client and so it would be hypocritical of me to expect the same of him. I hated doing the right thing because sometimes it just downright sucked.
As I sat in my seat all of my insecurities came flooding back into my memory. He and I have been through so much over the past few years, and all of this just feels so damned familiar. He would receive flirtatious text messages from girls, and I would find them. My heart would beat through my chest as I read all of the things that they were saying to him. There were times that I would want to wake him up while he was sleeping and throw him out of my apartment.
The last time we broke up was over something similar to this. He had a business meeting with a model. It looked just like a date to me even though he claimed that it wasn’t. He and I had a huge argument, and we said a lot of things to each other that were hard to get over. History seems to be repeating itself, and I have no one to blame but myself for being in the same situation all over again.
Did Kenneth really have any intention on changing? I’ve never caught him actually cheating but sometimes I think that this is worse than catching him in an actual act. I’m driving myself crazy with my fear of the unknown.
My mind was too vivid, and my fears were coming into play in full color. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes that I had in the past. I refused to fly off of the handle and ruin things with the man that I loved. We’d hit a rough patch, but most couples do. Our relationship would be defined by how we handle these situations.
Two days later I received a text message from Jasmine saying that the three of us needed to meet for lunch that day. It was rare when she called an emergency friend meeting, and I hoped that everything was okay with her. I didn’t want to her go through anymore drama because she’d been through enough. Jasmine was so sweet, and I only wanted the best for her. She seemed so happy with Cedric and she deserved it.
I had to call Desmond and push our meeting back 2 hours and he took it all in stride. He’s so flexible, and it seems like nothing ever gets to him unless it messes with his money. That’s a personality trait that I could get behind. I rolled out of bed and started my morning routine. I was starting to spend a lot more time in my office because it was starting to become too much to meet each and every client where they were. It was more convenient to allow them to come to me.
It was nice to finally use the office that I’d been leasing for the last year and a half. The truth was that I found my office to be so damned lonely. Sitting there and looking at the walls with no one else around sucked. I played around with the idea of letting the space go, but I couldn’t do it. I think I liked the idea of having an office, and it was a great place to hold all of my files and inventory. Now it was fina
lly seeing some human interaction. My mind drifted to Desmond fucking me on the desk. I shook the thought out of my head. I clearly needed to get laid because I was tripping. I should have been thinking about Kenneth. Oh no.
I looked over at my drawer of toys and decided that I need to pay it a visit before I stepped out of the door. I couldn’t go out that day being horny because it would put me on edge and Desmond would look more tempting than he should. So I grabbed two of my favorite toys and headed to the bathroom. I shouldn’t have to get myself off when I have a man but everything doesn’t happen the way that you want it to.
*
Being with my friends always seems to ground me. I sometimes forget about all of my problems because there’s nothing that they can’t make me feel better about. As the only child, it’s been great to have them in my corner, and they’ve been the sisters that I’ve never had. I gave a sigh of relief when I plopped down into my chair. We all met up at the front of the place and went in together.
