He pulled his hat over his ears as he got to his feet.
“Celia says Bridget and Rebecca will be leaving for the airport in Bismarck at around ten tomorrow morning.” He sighed when Jack made no reply.
Gavin tugged on his boots and zipped his parka. “I’ll see you around.”
He turned to leave. All these years Gavin had never tried to tell him how to care for Leslie. The fact that he’d broken ten years of silence told Jack what a serious mistake his brother believed he was making, with Leslie, and with Bridget.
“I’ll see you.” He took a breath. “Thanks.”
Gavin looked up in surprise. He nodded before opening the door and leaving.
He watched the headlights of Gavin’s truck as it drove out of the yard. Was he really as blind as Gavin seemed to think he was? Was he really using Leslie as a shield to protect himself?
If that was true, he’d failed his daughter.
* * *
Jack tucked the blankets around Leslie, being careful not to bump her right arm. He placed her favorite teddy bear beside her on her left side. She slid the bear under the covers.
“Is Becky coming to ride Candy tomorrow, Daddy?”
“No, Sunshine. Remember I explained that Becky and Bridget are moving away?”
“When are they coming back?”
“They’re not coming back.” He smoothed the fine blond hair from her forehead. “They’re going to live someplace else.”
“Why?”
He sighed. She simply could not understand why someone she loved would leave her. He wasn’t sure he understood himself.
“Because Becky wants to be close to her daddy. You can understand that Becky misses her daddy, can’t you?”
Her eyes filled with tears as she nodded. “I don’t want them to go.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
He gathered her in his arms, his heart aching for her. Damn Bridget for making his little girl fall in love with her and then abandoning her.
She snuggled against his chest. “I don’t want them to go,” she repeated. “Bridget thinks I’m smart.”
“I think you’re smart too.”
He felt her shake her head. “No.”
He felt like he’d taken a sucker punch to the gut. “Why do you think that?” He held her a little tighter.
“Bridget lets me bake cookies all by myself. I measure the flour and the oil in the measuring cup. Bridget showed me how.”
She said the words with pride. “Bridget says if I work hard I can do all kinds of things. I memorized the recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies. See?”
She rattled off the ingredients and the instructions and he was sure she hadn’t left anything out. He tipped up her chin, wanting to look in her eyes.
“Leslie, I think you’re smart. Do you believe that?”
She answered with a matter of fact shake of her head, as if she were simply stating how things were. “No. You think I’m stupid ’cos I can’t do stuff. I can’t dress myself or make my bed. I know you’re mad at me because I can’t do stuff. Because I’m stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
Was this how he treated his daughter? Was this how his daughter saw herself? As a helpless person, a worthless person? He felt sick inside. He’d made her feel this way. He’d thought he was protecting her, but all he’d succeeded in doing was making her dependent and unhappy.
He took a shaky breath. “Maybe when your arm gets better I’ll teach you the right way to put the bit in Molly’s mouth.”
She glanced up at him as if she didn’t quite believe him. “Really?”
He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, really.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
She spoke with such trust and acceptance that it brought tears to his eyes. She trusted him to do what was right for her.
And focusing on all the things she couldn’t do instead of all the things she could do was not what was best for Leslie.
Bridget had tried to tell him that. She’d immediately seen that Leslie was capable of so much more. Why hadn’t he been able to see that all these years?
He settled Leslie in her bed and put out the lights. His thoughts chased him around his big, empty house and he prowled like an animal in its cage. Finally he went to his office and picked up the brochure from the Blackwood Academy. He read through it carefully before setting it back down on his desk.
He’d spent so much time and effort trying to protect Leslie that he’d never given her a chance to grow. All these years he thought he was doing the very best he could for her, when in reality he was smothering her with his love.
The revelation came as a shock. It was natural for a parent to be protective of his child, especially one who’d been as sick as Leslie had been as an infant. But a parent also had to teach his child how to fly on her own, to be an independent person who lived up to her potential. Bridget had tried to tell him that.
He closed his eyes and groaned. Bridget.
Was this his way of punishing her for leaving him twenty years ago? He shook his head. If she’d stayed, she would have grown to resent him for holding her back. He’d begged her to stay because Paradise had been where his dream lived. He’d never once offered to make any concession to her. He’d been so focused on his own dreams that he hadn’t paid any attention to hers. How selfish he’d been.
He’d been so wrong about so many things when it came to her. He’d treated her as if she were an unwelcome intrusion instead of the love of his life.
There. He’d said it. He loved her. He always had and he always would.
The question was, what was he going to do about it?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bridget’s heart felt as dark and heavy as the morning sky. A storm was moving in and if they didn’t get on the road soon they wouldn’t make it to the airport in time.
With any luck they’d have a three-day blizzard.
She dragged her suitcase down the stairs and over to Ben’s rental car. He stomped his feet and tucked his hands under his armpits in a vain attempt to stay warm. In his leather dress shoes and stylish trench coat he was woefully underdressed for the weather. Under other circumstances she might have laughed at the ridiculous picture he made. But she didn’t feel much like laughing right now.
“That’s the last of it,” she said with a sigh as she hoisted the suitcase into the trunk.
“Thank goodness,” Ben said, blowing on his bare hands. “I’ll be glad to get out of here. Where’s Rebecca? We should get going before we’re stuck here forever.”
Rebecca emerged from the bar. Mavis walked beside her, one arm hugging her tightly to her side. Bridget closed her eyes in an effort to hold back her tears. Rebecca was going to lose contact with her grandmother, and for what? For the few moments of attention that Ben might deign to bestow on her?
When they reached the car, she could see that Rebecca’s eyes were rimmed with red. It broke her heart to know her daughter had been crying, but it gave her hope as well. Maybe she was beginning to see that leaving Paradise wasn’t such a good idea.
“Are you okay, honey?” she asked. “It’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”
“She’s made her choice, Bridget,” Ben said. “Time to get in the car.”
Rebecca looked up at her, her face a picture of misery. Bridget smoothed the hair from her face so she could look in her eyes. “Do you want to change your mind?”
“Rebecca, it’s time to go. Come on,” Ben said impatiently.
“Shut up, Ben. For once in your life, shut the hell up.”
He took a step away from her, momentarily dumbfounded by the vehemence in her tone. Had he always been this much of a jerk or was she just seeing it now?
She turned her attention back to her daughter. “It’s not too late, honey, really.”
At that moment Jack’s truck pulled into the motel’s parking lot next to Ben’s rental. Jack lifted Leslie from the vehicle and set her on the ground. She ran to Bridget and threw her
good arm around her waist.
“For Christmas, I wished that you could be my mommy.”
Tears spilled down Bridget’s cheeks as she hugged her. “I like that wish very much. But it can’t come true, sweetheart.”
She left Bridget’s arms and launched herself at Rebecca. “I don’t want you to go, Becky,” she said, her voice muffled against Rebecca’s winter jacket. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered.
“Becky, neither of us wants you to leave,” Jack said. Bridget saw the dark circles under his eyes that spoke of his exhaustion. “I love you too. And your mother.”
Her eyes widened and her heart filled with hope. She couldn’t believe he was saying this. He gave her only the briefest of glances before returning his attention back to Rebecca.
“I want both of you to stay. If you do, I’ll sell the new foal to you when she’s born in March. But you’ll have to work for her. You can help by cleaning the barns and brushing down the other horses. And maybe you can give Leslie some riding lessons.”
Leslie looked up at Rebecca. “Daddy’s going to teach me how to ride Molly all by myself.”
Bridget covered her mouth with her hand. Tears rushed to her eyes even as her mind filled with confusion. What did this mean?
“Who the hell are you?” Ben asked, his voice rising in irritation.
Jack looked directly at him. “I’m the man who’s going to be Rebecca’s stepfather, if Bridget will have me.” He dismissed Ben and turned his attention back to Rebecca. “So do we have a deal?”
“You can’t bribe my daughter!”
“Why not? You do it when it suits your purposes. Do you plan to spend time with Becky, to really get to know who she is, what her dreams are, or will you just throw money at her and hope she’s satisfied with that?”
“She’s my daughter!”
“Yeah, she is.” Jack looked directly at Bridget. “A father has to do what’s right for his daughter, even if it scares the hell out of him. And what’s right for Becky is to stay here with the family who loves her.”
“She’s already made her decision.” Ben held out his hand. “Come on, Rebecca. Let’s go.”
Rebecca remained immobile. She clutched at Leslie’s jacket.
“I like it here, Dad. I’ve made friends here and all my family’s here, except for you. I want to stay.”
“Rebecca, you can’t be serious.” He was truly shocked. Bridget knew he couldn’t fathom why anyone would choose Paradise over San Francisco.
“I heard you talking to Sherry, Dad,” she said. “I know she’s having a baby soon, and that you won’t have much time for me right now. But maybe next summer I can come and visit you and my new baby brother or sister.”
Bridget raised an eyebrow at Ben. He had the grace to look embarrassed at being caught in lie. Not only had he not broken up with his girlfriend, she was about to have his baby.
“You’re sure about this, Rebecca?” Ben asked again. He still didn’t get it. “You really want to stay?”
“Yes, I really want to stay.”
Mavis let out a cheer. “Come on, everybody. This calls for a celebration.”
She led Leslie back to the bar. After giving her father a hug goodbye, Rebecca followed them. Jack hauled their suitcases from the trunk.
“You’d better get going,” he said to Ben. “You don’t want to miss your plane.”
Ben watched as Rebecca opened the bar door and went inside. “No, I don’t. Take care of her, Bridget.”
With that he got into his car and pulled out of the parking lot. Bridget watched him leave and then turned to Jack.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said after several moments of silence.
“Why? Because I bribed Becky into staying?”
“No, but now that you mention it, that was pretty good. She just needed an extra push. I’m proud of you for agreeing to let Leslie learn how to ride by herself. She’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”
“Yeah, I think she will.” His warm breath mingled with the cold, crisp air to form a halo around his head. She smiled at the image.
“I phoned that school, the Blackwood Academy. I signed Leslie up for a couple of their Saturday programs. If they go well, we’ll look at putting her in camp next summer.”
She closed the distance between them and placed her gloved hand on his face, her eyes filling with happy tears.
“I really am proud of you.”
He put his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry for being such a stubborn ass. I love you, Bridget.”
“I love you too, even if you are a stubborn ass.”
She felt the low rumble of his chuckle vibrate through him, and she knew she’d never been happier.
He tightened his hold on her. “I was serious when I said I wanted to be Becky’s stepfather. You realize, of course, that means I’d also be your husband.”
“Yes, I understand it works that way.”
“So, what do you think?”
“About marriage? I think it’s a fine institution. As long as it’s with the right person.”
“Do you think we’re right for each other?”
All traces of amusement left him. The look he gave her was unsure, as if he really didn’t know she’d walk over hot coals to be with him. She laughed in delight.
“Yeah. I’d say we’re perfect for each other. You might even say we’re a match made in Paradise.”
He groaned even as he laughed in relief. “Don’t tell me I’m going to have to listen to corny jokes like that for the next fifty years.”
She wound her arms around his neck and drew him in for a kiss. “Stick with me, kid. It’ll be a laugh a minute. I promise.”
* * * * *
About the Author
When Jana Richards read her first romance novel, she immediately knew two things: first, she had to commit the stories running through her head to paper; and second, they had to end with a happily ever after. She also knew she’d found what she was meant to do. Since then she’s never met a romance genre she didn’t like. She writes contemporary romance, romantic suspense and historical romance set in World War II, in lengths ranging from short story to full-length novel. Just for fun, she throws in generous helpings of humor, and the occasional dash of the paranormal. Her paranormal romantic suspense Seeing Things was a 2008 EPPIE Award finalist.
In her life away from writing, Jana is an accountant/admin. assistant, a mother to two grown daughters and a wife to her husband, Warren. She enjoys golf, yoga, movies, concerts, travel and reading, not necessarily in that order. She and her husband live in Western Canada with their pug/terrier cross, Lou, and several unnamed goldfish. She loves to hear from readers and can be reached through her website and blog.
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ISBN-13: 9781426896439
FIRST AND AGAIN
Copyright © 2013 by Jana Richards
Edited by Alissa Davis
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All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagin
ation of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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