Chapter 26
Differential Calculus
WHEN the professor arrived to start the class five minutes late, he found the doorway blocked by Bill and me in a tearful embrace. Trying to make light of the moment, he said, “I’m so sorry that I’m late. I had no idea it would have such a deep personal impact on you, Mr. Mitchell.”
We broke apart reluctantly. I didn’t want to, but I had to sit down and start paying attention. Bill didn’t want to leave, so I had an idea. I took his hand and pulled him over to two empty seats and had him sit down beside me. He would have no idea what was happening or what was being discussed, but it would give us a minute to just simply be together.
I pulled out my notebook and started paying attention to the lecture. While I had read about the topic of today’s lecture over the break, there were a few points I was a little fuzzy on, so I was hoping to get those cleared up today.
After about ten minutes of sitting and listening, Bill leaned over to me and whispered, “You understand this stuff?”
“Of course.”
“I’m impressed.”
“As you should be. I’m an impressive kind of guy.”
“I’ve always known that.”
Bill had a backpack with him—I hadn’t noticed it until now. He pulled out what looked like a cheap airport paperback and started reading.
At one point I noticed that the professor had made an error in one part of the equation he was writing on the white board, so I called it to his attention. As the professor paused to read through the equation and try to verify or discredit my comment, Bill leaned over and said, “How in the world did you know that?”
“I’m good.”
The professor verified my claim, made the correction, and proceeded. Rather than return to his book, Bill simply sat and stared at me for some time. I found it a little disquieting after a while and started to give him some looks that tried to say, “Stop it!” He finally did return to his novel, which was a relief.
When the lecture ended, Bill walked out with me. “What’s next?”
“Are you stalking me now?”
“I’m never letting you go ever again,” he said in a very matter-of-fact tone.
“What’s next?” I echoed his question, thinking. “I’ve got a programming class in an hour. I’m hungry, so I think I’ll go grab a bagel at the coffee shop over in Ward.”
“That sounds good. I haven’t eaten much since I got back.”
“Why not?”
“I lost my appetite after I heard from you what had happened here. After throwing up on the lawn a couple of times from stress, my stomach wasn’t very settled for the next day. I thought my life was over. Oh, word of advice: don’t ever tell Moira you’re thinking about suicide—she doesn’t respond well to that. I had almost forgotten her son killed himself. She was mightily pissed with me—and a bit scared too, which was certainly what I was at that time.”
“You talked about suicide?” I asked, incredulous.
“I thought that everything of any value in my life was gone, lost forever. What did I have left to live for with you so furious with me, the school kicking me out, all the world thinking I was unfaithful to you, and did I mention you being mad at me? You get the picture?”
We were walking across campus to grab breakfast during this conversation. It wasn’t that long a walk, but because I kept stopping every few feet to look at Bill in astonishment or shock (take your pick), the trip was taking us longer than it should have. Nonetheless, we made it, bought our bagels and coffee, and found a table to sit at while we ate.
“Instead of going to my next class with me—which you’ll find just as boring as the last one—why don’t you go to the registrar’s office and try to explain to them what happened and see what they can do to get you reinstated, or at least headed in that direction. If you have to apply again, it would be best to get that process started sooner rather than later. I quite honestly don’t know what the process is. The letter that came to the house sounded pretty dire.”
“I suppose I should,” he said with a sigh, “although I don’t look forward to that process.”
“Would you rather I went with you?”
“Yes, but you’re right that I should at least start the discussion with them now and try to bring them up to date on what’s been happening and why I was a no-show for this quarter.”
“I meant to ask you, but how was your conversation with Elmer last night?”
“Fine. He was totally whipped from the long flight—it really is a ballbuster. No one can sit in a tin can moving at five hundred miles per hour for fifteen hours and arrive feeling as fresh as a spring daisy. You feel tired, grungy, disoriented, and in need of a very long shower, not to mention the need to drink a few gallons of water to try to rehydrate.”
“You’re making the trip sound like so much fun.”
“I’m never going back. I can assure you of that.”
“Or if you go, you’ll not be going to the same part of the country.”
“I’d rather stick with my thought of just never going back. There’s a whole lot more world out there that we can visit first.”
“Well, I think our traveling days are over for a while. I’ve been covering everything for the last month on my Starbucks salary, and that’s already stretched pretty thin. With tuition coming up again in hardly any time, we’re gonna have a serious cash shortfall. So I think travel is going to be at the very bottom of the priority list for the near—and far—future.”
“Sounds reasonable. I have no desire or plans to go anywhere anytime soon. It is amazing how fast you can fall so far behind. Oh, we’ll have some money—I’m getting paid something for my lines in the movie. And Moira said she’ll try to squeeze some extra compensation out of the studio for the hardship we suffered due to the weather and the conditions. She was getting all fired up about poor planning and something about logistical support. I just hope I’m never on the receiving end of one of her rants—she can be pretty laser-like with her focus and energy.”
“We definitely want to keep her on our side. Wouldn’t want to encounter her in either a dark alley at night or on the other side of the table in negotiations over anything.”
“Amen to that. And she also told Derrick about some of what happened because of being stuck in Australia for so long. She gave him some pretty broad hints that he should chip in something to help cover some of our expenses until we get everything sorted out and get back on our feet.”
“That was nice of her, but I’m not sure if I’m comfortable taking his money.”
“You’re still mad at him, aren’t you?”
“I’m still angry, and at the moment he’s the only tangible target I’ve got, so yes, I’m still mad at him.”
“He was trapped there just like I was.”
“Please don’t—not yet. Not right now. I’m not ready to hear it yet. Maybe later, but not now.”
“All right.”
Checking the time, I announced that I had to get going to my next class. Bill told me that he would meet me outside the lecture hall afterward, if at all possible. Otherwise, he would see me back home. I gave him my keys so that he could get into the apartment and rescue his stuff from the piles behind the house. We’d have to get a copy of the keys made for him. I told him that he could take care of that this afternoon while I worked. By the time I finished with class and a full shift of work I expected to be wiped out—especially after sleeping on the lumpy sofa in the lounge of Slatter’s dorm last night.
“By the way,” Bill said, “Slatter’s new in the picture since I’ve been gone. Who is he? How did you meet him? Are you sleeping with him?”
“No! I am not sleeping with him! Jesus, Bill! He works at Starbucks with me. We spent Christmas together. He had nobody and I had nobody so we decided to spend the day together. We talked, cooked out on the grill, read, relaxed. It was good for me. I was pretty down about then and was dreading the holidays. We were good for one a
nother.”
“Thanks for telling me. I was curious.”
“I hope you’ll like him. He’s a really nice guy.”
“Why was he here alone at Christmas?”
“His family was less than thrilled when he came out to them.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
My class was starting, so I wished him a good visit with the registrar and went in to try to learn something to make the class worthwhile.
Chapter 27
Later That Evening
BILL was outside my class when I got out. He’d had a good visit with the registrar and started the process of getting reactivated for the next quarter. He was going to be able to return to school, but he was going to be off-cycle. Some of the classes he was supposed to take this quarter were only offered in this quarter each year, and some of those courses were prerequisites to future courses, so his missing this quarter was going to have a ripple effect that would follow him for quite a while.
I drove to work, and then Bill took the car and went off to get keys made so he could go home and get inside our apartment. He asked if he could use the car that afternoon. I certainly wasn’t going to while I was working, so I told him to go ahead and keep it, but I asked if he might be able to come back and pick me up when my shift ended at nine. He readily agreed.
We were busy that day, so when nine o’clock rolled around, I was beat and wanted to go home and collapse. As promised, Bill was waiting outside the door to pick me up when I crawled out at the end of my shift. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that I was exhausted. I think I nearly fell asleep in the car on the short drive home.
I refocused on my surroundings when the car stopped at home and managed to pull myself together enough to get out and make my way inside. After a stop to drop my backpack and a stop in the bathroom to throw some water on my face, I collapsed onto the sofa.
“Are you hungry?” Bill asked.
“I haven’t been to the grocery store in a while, so I’m not sure what we’ve got.”
“I went today and picked up some things.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I had the time; you didn’t. What can I get you?”
But I found that I was simply too tired to think. Bill nodded, walked into the kitchen, and a few minutes later some food appeared in front of me at the table. I ate and drank whatever it was, which helped to give me a hint of a second wind.
“Feeling a bit better?” he asked.
“Yes. Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“No, I didn’t have to do that; I wanted to do that. I want to do a lot to take care of you, especially after being gone for so long and leaving you to handle everything by yourself.”
For the first time I noticed that he looked as sleepy as I felt. “You look like crap,” I said without thinking before the words came out.
“Why, thank you,” he said. “Hopefully nothing that a few weeks of sleep won’t cure.”
“Why are you tired?”
“Do you know how many time zone changes there are between California and the middle of northern Australia? A lot. My body doesn’t have a clue what it’s supposed to be doing right now.”
“Then I suggest we go to bed,” I said.
“I will not argue with you,” he said as we turned out the lights and moved into the bedroom. “But if you’re expecting sex tonight, you may be disappointed.” He rubbed his neck and head and squinted his eyes, as if in pain.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I have a miserable headache, and my neck hurts. I must have slept wrong last night somehow. That with the jet lag is leaving me totally wiped out.”
We shed our clothes and fell into bed. I caught a glimpse of his beautiful body and remembered how hot he was and how he got to my libido. Even as tired as I was, the sight of my beautiful boyfriend, whose body hadn’t been there for the past month and a half, gave me a thrill.
I stayed on my side of the bed. He too was a bit unsure about protocol the first time we were sleeping in the same bed together after so long apart. He reached across and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before immediately rolling back to his side of the bed. We turned out our lights and were both asleep almost immediately.
Chapter 28
Sleeping Bill
THE next morning Bill was still sleeping when I woke. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I slipped out of bed, grabbed my running shorts, shoes, and shirt, and quietly left the house. During the time that Bill had been away and I had been alone for so much of the time, I had found comfort in running. My mind was jumbled up with so many thoughts, emotions, and contradictions at the moment that I thought a run might help me to organize some of those many things.
An hour later I was tired, but from actually having done something, from running. Unfortunately, there were still a lot of things running through my head, continuing to bump into one another. I had expected Bill to be awake but found him still asleep in bed. As quietly as possible I showered and dressed. Before leaving for school, I peeked in on him once again but saw that he had not moved.
We hadn’t talked about it, so while I would normally have driven to school, I decided that I should leave the car with him so that if he got a lead on a job he could go check it out. The city buses ran to school; it would just take a little longer than usual. But I had left home extra early to be sure that I got to campus in time for my class.
When the bus came it was quite full, once again contradicting the early “advice” we had received that no one rode the buses in LA. Everything I had ever experienced completely contradicted that statement from our first day in California. While the bus was busy, I was able to get a seat and spent my time reading. I was completely up to date on class readings, so I was actually reading a book for fun. Since I only read when I had a moment with nothing else to do, it was taking me a long time to get through the book, but somehow every time I picked it up, I was able to pick up the story where I had left off.
That day my schedule was awkward. I had a class first thing in the morning and then one late in the afternoon. Usually, if I was driving to campus, I would go home after the first class and then return in time for the afternoon class. Today, since I was not driving, I decided that I should stay on campus.
When my first class ended, I was delighted to see that we once again had a beautiful day in the making. With all the time in the world, I found a tree and parked myself under it—after making the required stop at Starbucks for an iced tea, of course—and did some writing on a paper that was due the following week. I pretty much knew what I wanted to say and had it entirely outlined in my mind, so the process of actually writing the thing was fairly straightforward for me.
I made tremendous progress, only stopping when the battery on my laptop ran down and the thing started flashing me all sorts of warnings. Taking the hint, I saved my work again (I was obsessive about that), powered it down, and put it away.
By that time I was feeling a bit hungry, so I went off to forage for food. I knew the campus relatively well by that time but didn’t eat there all that often, usually eating meals at home to save money. Even though that was especially important now, I was hungry, and I’d been working a lot of hours and felt that I had earned the right to buy something to eat. I wasn’t planning a sit-down meal at a five-star restaurant, but rather a simple sandwich somewhere at one of the convenience food places.
It was not difficult to locate something to eat, and to refresh my iced tea, since my Starbucks iced tea was long gone. Pulling out my novel, I found a table, ate my sandwich, and read a few more pages of my book. I also used the time to plug my laptop into an outlet so that it could start to recharge.
For once I wasn’t able to get into the story in my book. Instead, I found my mind continuing to drift back to Bill. We hadn’t had much conscious time together the previous evening to talk or to get reacquainted. I had no idea what his plans were for today, if he had any. His time back home had b
een so chaotic until now that I didn’t know what he would be doing. I wanted to call, but didn’t know what he would be up to, so I didn’t want to risk disturbing him if he was, for example, in a job interview.
Since we’d had hardly any time to talk since his return, at least civilly, he didn’t have my schedule, so he didn’t know when I had class, when I was scheduled to work, when my study groups met, or anything. Since I wasn’t able to get into my book again at the moment, I powered up my still-charging laptop and quickly typed out my schedule day by day in a nice Word table. When I was satisfied that I had everything on the schedule that needed to be there, I put it in an e-mail and sent it to Bill. It had been so long since he’d had access to his e-mail, I wasn’t sure if he’d even remember how to get into his account at this point, but at least I’d made an effort. The rest was up to him.
My afternoon class was a programming class that turned out to be very engaging. Before the start of the quarter, I was somewhat dreading the class because I couldn’t see the relevance of this course, but once we got started and I got to see some of the real-world applications of what we were learning, I had become incredibly engaged and actually looked forward to the class each week.
To the minute on time, we left the class at six o’clock, and I headed to the bus stop to make my way home. As in the morning, the bus was once again quite busy. It was so full this time that I was not able to find a seat and ended up standing all the way to my stop. It wasn’t far from the bus stop to the house, and it was a pleasant afternoon, so the walk was comfortable.
Go West Young Man Page 18
