by Jill Kemerer
“Are you getting married or something?”
She barked out a laugh. “No, nothing like that.”
“Then I think you are the person.” He tapped the table twice with his knuckles.
“You don’t know anything about me.” Oops. She’d let bitterness creep into her tone. Oh, well. Bitterness had crept into every cell of her body since last December. She’d failed Treyvon and Jay. Would she ever fall asleep at night without seeing their trusting faces?
“You’re right.” He ran his hand through his short, almost black hair. “But I know you have integrity and devoted your life to helping others. Back in school, I had an ego as long as the Mississippi and as deep as the Grand Canyon. I never thought about anyone but myself. I apologize for that. And I apologize for—”
“Look, we don’t have time for unnecessary apologies. Wyatt will be back soon. I want to help you out, but I can’t. I was a social worker, but I don’t work with troubled kids anymore.”
“What will it take for you to say yes?”
“Nothing.” She lifted her hands, palms up. “I give you credit for using your best weapon—Wyatt—to try to seal the deal, but no.”
His nostrils flared. “Do you have another job?”
“Yes.”
“Permanent?”
Ugh. He knew. Always knew people’s weak spots.
“I’m filling in at LE Fitness for Laney Mills. Maternity leave. She’ll be back next week.”
“There you go. The timing’s perfect. You need a job. I need help. I’ll pay you whatever you’re making there, plus ten percent.”
She fought irritation. This relentlessness was part of Drew’s personality, part of what had made him a winning football player. But, for real, the man needed to accept the word no. She didn’t owe him anything. “You can find someone else.”
“He needs you.”
That threw her off. Drew didn’t know her, not really. “How can you say that with a straight face?”
“Look, he’s been through a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and he’s hurting. Withdrawn. I’m worried he’ll never be the same fun kid I’ve spent so much time with over the past ten years. I’m all he has.”
A nightmare... For eight years she’d worked with kids embroiled in nightmares. Chicago’s inner city had supplied a lifetime of them. She’d thought she could help. She’d been wrong. But Wyatt’s face when he’d admitted there was nothing for him in Detroit scratched at her heart. She knew exactly how he felt.
There’d been nothing for her anywhere the first seven years of her life.
Drew squared his shoulders. “I could find a babysitter or someone else with children where he can stay on my overnights, but he’s been through too much. You know how to handle kids like him. Know what he needs. I want someone who will come to our house. I want him to sleep in the same bed every night. Feel safe. Grow up as normal as possible.”
Kind of like the normal life her adoptive parents gave her. Uh-oh. He’d twisted the screw into her vulnerable spot.
“Even you have to admit he needs special care right now. He lost his mom. His dad’s in jail. He’s scared of photographers jumping out of the bushes. Please, Lauren.”
Yes was on the tip of her tongue, but the memory of last December’s phone call haunted her. “I can’t help. When I say I can’t, I mean I really can’t. Even if I agreed, I’d only be giving you false hope he’ll be okay. He’s not an easy fix, Drew.”
He opened his mouth to counter, but Wyatt came back, setting the ice cream and the change in front of Lauren.
“Thank you, Wyatt.” She smiled at him. Skinny with light brown hair and one of those cute faces destined to grow up handsome. She couldn’t halt the longing in her heart to help him. To take him under her wing and just let him be a kid. Help him adjust to life without his parents.
She’d had the same longing every day since she was sixteen years old. She’d thought she was meant to help kids like Wyatt—kids like her—ones with broken wings and matching spirits. But her efforts were for nothing. Worse than nothing. She’d given those two boys hope, and look where they’d ended up.
How had she been so wrong about her life? Her calling?
Her neck felt as though a noose was tightening around it. “Well, I’d better get going.”
“But you didn’t eat your ice cream,” Wyatt said.
She tried to smile, but his hazel eyes held a glimmer she recognized. It was a sliver of need, asking her if he was worth anything. Yes, Wyatt. You’re worth everything, but I’m not the one who can help you.
“I guess we’re even, then.” She pointed to his bowl. He blinked, and the glimmer vanished. Guilt compressed her chest until she could barely breathe. She darted a glance at Drew and wished she hadn’t. He looked unhappy.
Without a word, Wyatt pivoted and jogged away. Drew followed him.
The guilt squeezing her chest so tightly exploded. She’d made the sweet kid feel unwanted, and she did want to help him. Wanted to get to know him, to hear all about his little-boy day. She wanted him to know his parents had made bad choices, and none of it was his fault. She wanted to be part of his recovery.
But she wasn’t recovered herself.
One broken soul couldn’t fix another.
Lauren watched Drew draw near the boy. He crouched to his level and put his hand on his shoulder. The picture they presented radiated love. It didn’t take a degree in psychology to see Drew would do whatever was necessary to keep the boy safe and make him happy.
For the briefest moment, she wanted the same. For Drew to chase her and do whatever it took to keep her safe and make her happy.
Which proved how messed up she was.
She’d had her life planned out since she was sixteen. Devote her life to neglected kids, eventually get married, have a family of her own. That was the funny thing about life. Plans changed. Not always for the better.
Now what? She had no plan. Temporary jobs didn’t fulfill her. She wanted a new life purpose. Something to dig into. Something to make her feel alive again.
In the distance Drew rose and kept his arm around Wyatt. He pointed to a black truck. While Wyatt trudged to the passenger door, Drew marched back to her.
“That was my fault,” he said, head high. “I took a chance bringing you two together, and it blew up in my face. I’m sorry. But I’m still asking you to consider it. Don’t decide now. Give it a few days. I’ll call you.”
Please don’t.
He strode, tall and confident, back to the truck.
She grabbed the ice-cream containers and threw them in the trash. Drew didn’t need her. He thought he did, but Wyatt would be better off with someone else.
Anyone else.
For months she’d avoided thinking about her next move, but this meeting drove home the fact that she needed a long-term plan. A new career. A way to get out of this nothingness she’d been in. But what?
Drew Gannon was dangerous. He tempted her with the one forbidden fruit she’d promised herself she’d never take a bite out of again. Her purpose no longer included helping kids with hard lives. Not even ones who wiggled into her heart and made her want to feel again. Not even Wyatt.
* * *
“See how I’m holding the rod? You want to bring it back like this, then flick it forward while you hold the reel’s button.” At the end of the dock in front of their cabin, Drew demonstrated a perfect cast.
After leaving JJ’s Ice Cream, he’d driven to the elementary school to sign papers for Wyatt’s enrollment. The kid hadn’t said a word since they’d gotten home an hour ago. Wyatt held a fishing rod in his hand, but he’d yet to attempt to cast a line. “Try it.”
With a loud sigh, Wyatt laid the pole on the dock and slouched in one of the camping chairs Drew had brought down. He
stuffed his hands into his sweatshirt pockets and stared out at the sparkling blue water.
Drew was ready to pull his hair out. Today had been bad. Really bad. What had made him think springing Wyatt on Lauren would help his cause with her? He shouldn’t have badgered her. Shouldn’t have expected her to help him out, not after the way he’d treated her years ago. Not only had it backfired big-time, but he was no closer to finding a babysitter than before. Unless the college kid she mentioned... No. He didn’t want anyone but her.
Did Lauren still have the same impression of him from way back when?
What did it matter?
If he could just figure out how to get through to Wyatt. He’d always been a big part of the kid’s life. Chase’s career as a wide receiver kept him training and traveling nine months of the year, so Drew had helped take care of Wyatt off and on during football season. Wyatt’s drug-addicted mom had never been around. Even if she had been, she certainly couldn’t have taken care of him.
“Don’t you want to show off your fishing skills when your dad gets out?” Drew kept his tone light. Chase made mistakes—big mistakes—but Drew believed in him and hoped Wyatt would, too.
“Six years from now.” Wyatt kicked at the dock with his sneaker.
“His lawyer said he’ll get out in three if he models good behavior.”
Wyatt looked up at Drew. “Do you think he’ll do it? Get out early?”
Drew lowered himself into the chair next to him, ruffling Wyatt’s hair with his free hand. “Yeah, I do. He’ll do anything to be back with you. He loves you.”
Wyatt’s face fell again.
“What did you think of Lauren?” Drew asked.
He shrugged.
“We went to high school together. I wasn’t very nice to her.”
“Is that why she left without eating her ice cream?”
“Maybe she wasn’t hungry.” Drew cranked his line in a little ways. “I don’t think she left because she held a grudge. Like I said, I was mean to her in high school, but she was probably the nicest person I knew. Very genuine.”
“Why were you mean?”
Drew kept one eye on the bobber out in the lake. “I was stupid. When I was fourteen, I had a crush on her. One of my friends told me she’d never go out with me. He said she was too perfect. I asked one of the other cheerleaders if she thought I had a chance with Lauren, and she laughed. She told me Lauren would never date me, that she thought she was better than everyone. I took their word for it. And my pride made me say things and treat Lauren in ways I regret.”
“She deserved it if she thought she was better than you.”
“No, she didn’t. No one does.” Drew shook his head. “I trusted people who didn’t have my best interest at heart. I should have asked Lauren myself, instead of listening to my so-called friends.”
“What do you mean?” Wyatt’s face twisted in confusion.
“Looking back, I think every guy in my class had a crush on Lauren.”
“She’s pretty.”
“Yeah, and some of the cheerleaders were jealous of her.”
“Oh.”
“They had their own reasons for not wanting me to ask her out. Lauren kept to herself, but it didn’t mean she was stuck-up. I hope you think about that as you get older. Don’t believe everything you hear.”
“Like about my mom.” Wyatt got a lost look on his face again.
Whenever Drew tried to talk to him about his mother, Wyatt’s mouth shut tighter than a vacuum-packed seal. Maybe this was the opening he needed. “What about your mom?”
“Forget it.”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
“People said things.”
“People say a lot of things.”
Wyatt’s sad eyes met his. “They said she was on drugs and owed that Len guy money, and that’s why he killed her.”
Drew reeled in the rest of his line as he tried to figure out the best way to respond. Missy and Chase had never married. They were together for only a few years before Missy left and got mixed up with drugs. “You and I both know she went to rehab last year and was trying hard to live a healthy lifestyle.”
“Yeah. I was glad when she moved by us. We’d play games with Dad and go to movies.”
“Your dad cared about her. They were even talking about getting back together.”
Wyatt nodded, the corners of his mouth drooping. “Do you think she was in a lot of pain before she died?”
While he was glad Wyatt was finally talking, it hurt to think he had to have his conversation. No kid should have to deal with this. A murdered mom? A dad in jail? Wyatt deserved an intact family—didn’t every kid?
“No. The police said she died quickly.”
“Do you think she’s in heaven?”
He squirmed. This was another one of those tricky areas. Drew had no idea what Missy had believed. “The Bible says as long as you trust in Jesus as your savior, you go to heaven.”
“But what if she didn’t?”
“I wish I could tell you your mom is in heaven. I hope she is, but I don’t really know. What do you think?”
“I want her to be.”
“Me, too.”
Wyatt grabbed his fishing rod and stood at the end of the dock. “How do I do this again?”
Drew showed him the steps. Wyatt’s first attempts didn’t get the line far, but after a few more tries, he cast it out several feet. Drew gave him a high five.
“Hey, Wyatt, we’re going to be all right.” He put his arm around him. “I hope you know that.”
“Do you think Lauren would stay with me while you’re at work?”
Drew’s chest expanded. The kid liked her. Wyatt had already opened up more in the last ten minutes than he had since Chase went to jail three months ago. But Lauren didn’t work with troubled kids anymore. She’d made that clear. What had happened in Chicago to make her quit?
“I don’t know.” This conversation alone hammered it home—Wyatt was dealing with much more than the average kid. He didn’t need a college student around to watch TV and heat up chicken nuggets. He needed to make sense of his shattered family. He needed Lauren. She might not believe she could help him, but Drew knew she could.
And maybe in the process, he could help her, too. Her sunny smile had grown cloudy since he’d last seen her, and he wanted to bring her joy back.
He’d just have to figure out how to get her to say yes.
Chapter Two
“I’ve been talking to Stan, and we think you should offer a class.”
Lauren looked up from her computer screen at the reception desk of LE Fitness the following afternoon. Megan Fellows, one of the Zumba instructors, stood in front of her. Since moving back in January, Lauren had reconnected with Megan, two years her junior, and they’d become good friends, partly because Megan was so upbeat and made it her mission to not let Lauren dissolve into a puddle of depression. What would she think of Drew’s offer?
It didn’t matter. Lauren had made her decision. She needed to stay strong and say no when Drew called. If he called...
He would call. His take-charge personality assured her he would not let this matter fade away.
“What kind of class?” Lauren typed in a new client’s information.
“A tumbling class for cheerleaders.”
A tumbling class? The idea didn’t horrify her. “I don’t know.”
“You keep saying you’re figuring things out, but you don’t have a plan.” Megan’s brown ponytail bounced as she drummed her fingernails on the counter. “And Laney will be back on Monday. What are you going to do?”
The million-dollar question. She had no idea. Megan was right about her not having a plan—every time she tried to figure out her next step, she froze
. It was difficult letting go of the dream she’d had for most of her life. She couldn’t handle the heartbreak of social work, but she still liked kids. Tumbling classes might be something to consider.
“I don’t want you to go all hermit-like in your apartment again.” Megan rested her elbows on the counter. Her face had the concerned look that poked at Lauren’s conscience.
“Well, I have been offered a babysitting job.”
“Babysitting?” Megan grimaced. “What ages are we talking? Three? Five?”
“Ten. Do you remember Drew Gannon?”
“Do I remember Drew Gannon?” Megan rounded the counter in a flash and took a seat next to Lauren. “Tall, built and studly? Oh, I remember.”
“That’s him.” Lauren had probably been the only girl in school who hadn’t drooled all over Drew.
“I’ve had a crush on him since I was in second grade. I know he’s a little older than me, but how could a girl not like him?”
“Every girl in this town liked him at one point or another.” Lauren straightened the papers on the desk. “He’s back. Hired in at the fire station. He’s taking care of his best friend’s son.”
“Why?” Megan’s screwed-up face almost made Lauren laugh.
“I’m not getting into all the gory details, but Wyatt will be living with him for several years.”
“A single dad. Maybe he needs some help...from yours truly.”
Lauren swatted at her arm and laughed. “I’m sure once word gets out he’s back in town, there will be plenty of willing female bodies at his door.”
“He’s single, then?”
“Seems to be.”
“So how do you fit into all this?”
“His schedule,” Lauren said. “Twenty-four hours on. Forty-eight off. He needs someone to stay with Wyatt while he’s at work.”
Megan pressed her index finger to her lips. “Why you?”
“My degree. Experience. His mom recommended me.”
