by Dena Christy
“What is it?” His voice came out gruffer then he intended, but maybe that was for the best. His mind needed little encouragement to think about them both naked, together, so he needed to put up some kind of wall.
She hesitated and her eyes searched his face.
“I never thanked you for saving me.” The husky, femininity of her voice stroked down his skin. He kept his feet firmly planted where they were and squeezed his hands together behind his back.
“There’s no need to thank me.” He’d done what he’d done for the sake of his friend’s woman. If he’d met her before the rescue perhaps she would have been the motivation, but she wasn’t. It didn’t feel right, having her express gratitude for something that needed doing.
He turned away to go back to his room. Her hand encircled his bicep, and he froze, his heart giving a heavy thud.
“I have every reason to thank you. My life my not seem like it’s worth much, but it’s precious to me.”
He turned around and placed hand on hers, where it rested against the fabric of his sleeve. He concentrated for a moment, trying to get a glimpse of what was in her mind, but it was closed to him. He slowly eased her hand away.
“Who told you your life isn’t worth much?” If he had to guess he’d say it was Reggie. A flush crept up her cheeks, she looked down at the floor and it confirmed his suspicions. “Reggie is an asshole who doesn’t appreciate what he has. Don’t let him fool you into think you aren’t worth ten of him.”
She looked up at him, surprise written on her face. “Why would you say that? How would you know what Reggie thinks of me? You were only in his company for five minutes.”
“Am I wrong?” She wouldn't know that he’d read Reggie’s mind and saw exactly what sort of man he was. And what he’d thought of her. “When you were brought back to him, safe and whole, was he overjoyed to see you there? Did he hold you and comfort you? Did he express his concern for you or was your kidnapping a minor irritation that interrupted his busy schedule?”
Why the fuck was he saying all this? That she was here told him something happened between her and Reggie. If the reason she was here had nothing to do with what Reggie thought of her, then it would hurt her to hear it. It was none of his business. Nothing she did was his business.
“Reggie and I had a business relationship, not a love one. I’m sure from his perspective that his interrupting his busy schedule to meet me at my apartment was a magnanimous gesture.”
Ryce shook his head.
“Don’t make excuses for him. It shouldn’t matter if what you had with him was a business arrangement or not. He was supposed to be your protector, and yet he couldn't stir himself to help you beyond making a phone call.”
Why was he so pissed about this? She was safe now, and that’s all that mattered. What she did with her life, and who she spent it with was none of his concern. Her face paled a little when he finished his tirade and his shoulders sagged.
“I’m sorry.” He took a step toward her. She didn’t deserve how he’d spoken to her. Her life was hers to do with as she chose.
He tilted her head back, and he searched her face. He needed to remember that he wasn’t talking to a hardened soldier who could handle the unvarnished truth. She had feelings that needed to be taken into consideration. Not that he felt he was wrong about what he’d said, but his delivery left a lot to be desired. Unfortunately the dearth of female companionship on his planet had blunted his tender side, and he had no clue how to talk to her.
“Don’t apologize. I thought as much about Reggie, but it’s nice to have my suspicions confirmed. It’s why I’m here. I’ve ended it with him.” She took a small step forward, which brought her into his personal space. Only a sliver of air separated their bodies, and he felt pulled to her as surely as the ship he’d been on had been pulled to this planet.
“Good. He is unworthy of you. You deserve someone who would rip the world apart, who would walk through fire to help you. He doesn’t appreciate what he had.”
“I know.” Her eyes darted down to his lips. Was she thinking about kissing him because that notion had been lurking in his mind since she’d said his name a few minutes ago?
He lowered his face toward hers until he could feel her sweet breath fanning his face. What would it be like to kiss her? To have her as his woman?
He wouldn't be like Reggie, who expected others to keep her safe. If she’d been his woman when she'd been kidnapped, he would have killed to keep her from harm. He would never have stopped looking for her, and when she was safe he would have held her. He would have shown her with his body and his words how precious she was to him.
Her eyes were so deep and blue that for a moment he thought he was drowning. All he needed to do was lower his face a fraction of an inch and he would taste her. Her pupils dilated, and he read the desire for his kiss in her eyes. It wasn’t all one sided, it wasn’t all in his head. She felt something too, at least enough to want to kiss him. All it would take was one small movement, and he would satisfy the curiosity that burned inside him from the moment she’d faced him so bravely in the abandoned laboratory.
“Ryce,” Evie said from behind Collette.
Collette gasped and jumped back. Just like that, the spell between them shattered. Ryce looked at Evie as he deliberately stepped away from her friend. The young brunette stood with her arms crossed in front of her. Her disapproval was easy to read.
“What is it?” He shoved aside his frustration. There was no point in dwelling on what might have happened if she’d come along a few minutes later than she had.
“They need you in the communication room. You have your commander to find, remember?”
It was a reminder he needed since in those last few moments with Collette he’d forgotten he even had a friend named Cynric. Still, it would have been nice to taste her lips at least one time. He glanced at the soft pillow of her mouth. One kiss would not be enough. Perhaps he should thank Evie for getting him back on track. Maybe he would once he forced back the frustration his body was feeling.
Evie cleared her throat, and he jerked away from Collette. Even with Evie standing there watching him, he could hardly pull himself away from her. He gave Evie a curt nod as he walked past her down the hall. Finding Cynric was his priority. Not kissing Collette. Being with her would not save his friend, and his friend needed saving. Still, what would it have been like to have just one kiss?
Chapter Four
Collette’s hands curled at her side as she turned to face Evie. Talk about horrible timing. He’d been so close to kissing her, and in the moments just before Evie interrupted, she wanted him so bad that she could practically taste him. Only a whisper of space had been between them. His mouth had been so close. What would it have been like if Evie hadn’t come along when she had.
She’d never wanted something as badly as she wanted his kiss. For the first time in her life she felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush. How was she supposed to deal with that? The reason she’d never experienced this was because the men she was with paid for her, a situation that didn’t lend itself to the stirring of her emotions. She had met no one like him. He stirred her on such a deep level, it frightened her. Perhaps Evie had done her a favor.
“How are you settling in?” Evie asked as if nothing had been happening when she’d walked up.
“I’m fine, but I would like something to do.” One way to distract herself from Ryce and what he stirred in her was to keep busy. She also wanted to do something useful. Her life as a chippy hadn’t been useful at all, and if she was going to embark on a new life, she wanted to do something more than decorate a man’s world.
“I’m sure we can find something for you to do if that’s what you want. Don’t feel that you have to earn your keep here. You need a place to sort your life out, and if you get set on the path that you want to go, that is more than repayment enough for me.” Evie looked at Collette for a moment, and the silence stretched between them.
There was a question in Evie’s eyes, and Collette figured that although the other woman hadn’t brought up what she’d come upon a few minutes ago, it hung between them.
“What’s on your mind Evie.” Collette braced herself. This new Evie was a different woman then the one Collette had known years ago, and Collette couldn’t get a read on what she was thinking. From what she’d seen so far, Evie didn’t appear to be that impressed by either Ryce or Synn.
“What was going on when I got here? It looked like I was interrupting something.” Evie kept her voice neutral.
Was she being deliberately dense? It was plain to anyone who looked what she and Ryce had been about to do. Perhaps Evie wanted her to admit to what had almost happened between her and Ryce, like she was confessing to a crime.
“You must not have been with a man for a long time Evie if you don’t know what the moments before a kiss look like.” Her shot found its mark when Evie’s mouth tightened, and Collette couldn’t bring herself to feel remorse for it.
“I know what a kiss looks like,” Evie said, her voice threaded with impatience. “Perhaps I should have asked not what you were about to do but why?”
Collette thought she could read disapproval on Evie’s face, and it brought back memories that were buried deep in her own personal basement. When she’d started school, Miranda was the first girl there to see past what Collette would be to see the person she was inside. Evie had been Miranda’s friend first, and she had to be persuaded to accept Collette. She’d gotten past her problem with Collette becoming a chippy, but the look on her face brought it all flooding back.
They may have grown to be friends, but Collette could see that Evie was still as judgmental as she always was. Maybe she hadn’t really changed that much. Why had Evie agreed to let her come here at all? The answer to that was plain. Evie wanted to save Collette from herself and coming upon her almost kissing a man would show her that she needed to overcome Collette’s wicked nature.
“Why wouldn’t I want to kiss a man like that? He’s young, strong and very attractive. Obviously I have little control over myself.” It stung seeing the look on Evie’s face that she’d grown used to seeing on others. She didn't think she’d ever see it on the face of someone she considered a friend. Apparently the intervening years had brought Evie back full circle to the person she’d been when she’d first met Collette. “Why is it a problem? Is there no fraternization allowed here?”
“There aren’t usually men here, and I’m not running a brothel.” There was an edge to Evie’s voice that hadn’t been there up until now.
Her words punched Collette in the gut. She would add the dig about the brothel, as if Collette was inviting every man within a five-mile radius to share her bed here, instead of almost kissing just one. She may offer her companionship for money, but she was far from the type who worked in a brothel. She gave her companionship to one man only for the duration of their contract, but the nuance would be lost on someone not schooled in the differences between a chippy and a whore.
“No, it’s obvious that you are running a nunnery. I’m surprised that you would let a whore like me sully such pristine surroundings.” Anger bubbled up inside her. It was a stupid idea to come here and think she could change her life. Perhaps her mother’s life was her destiny, and nothing she tried would change that.
Maybe it would be better to go back to the apartment and try to find somewhere else to go from there. At least there she wouldn’t have to face disapproval around every corner. If it meant securing another protector, so be it. At least that was a world she understood and could navigate. “This was a bad idea. I’ll pack my things and go somewhere else. I’ll be gone within the hour.”
Collette turned away and walked toward her room.
“Collette wait,” Evie said from behind her.
Collette stood still when she felt Evie’s hand on her arm. She fought to keep from shaking off her touch. She’d been very clear what she thought of her, so what more could she want to say. Perhaps she wanted to drive the message home that she wasn’t worthy of staying here.
“What,” Collette said through her teeth as she refused to turn around. She braced herself to hear what else Evie would have to say as tears prickled at the edges of her eyelids. She had let no one see how much they could hurt her, and she would not start now.
“I think we’ve taken a bad turn here somewhere, and I’m not sure how this has happened. I’m not judging you, Collette,” Evie said quietly and Collette spun around with a disbelieving laugh.
“You’ve always judged me, from the moment you met me in school.” She should be used to seeing what people thought of her, and normally she could shrug it off as if it didn’t bother her. She should be past the point of caring what others thought of her, but Evie’s low opinion stung. “I thought perhaps that coming here would be a good thing, but I was wrong. It’s fine to sit in judgement while you’ve locked yourself away here. You haven’t lived a moment in my skin, and how dare you look at me like I’m somehow less than you. So I almost kissed someone, there is nothing wrong with that. And frankly it’s none of your business. If my staying here means that you get to pry into my private life and dictate what I do and with whom, then I will be leaving.”
Evie’s face paled, and her shoulders sagged. She tilted her head as she looked at Collette and sighed.
“I’m sorry. You’re right about me judging you when I was younger. I did. We all do stupid things when we are young. I’m not judging you now. In fact I admire you for having the courage to come here. I’m sorry for giving you the impression that I don’t have respect for you. And you’re right, it’s none of my business what you do.”
“Then what the hell was behind you asking me what I was doing with Ryce? There was disapproval in your face when you looked at me, and it’s the same look you get when anyone mentions Miranda and Synn. What is your problem?”
Evie was silent and for a moment Collette thought she wouldn't answer her.
“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I’m trying hard to be happy for Miranda, and I am truly. But I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“Synn won’t hurt her.” Collette knew in her heart that this was true. She saw how he looked at her friend, and she knew that he would gladly die for her. The love he had for Miranda shone in his eyes, and there was no mistaking it for anything else.
“It’s not Synn that I’m afraid of hurting her. He’s in a dangerous place, and if she lost him…” Evie stopped speaking for a moment, and took a deep breath. “Please don’t leave, that’s the last thing that I want.”
The anger inside Collette evaporated, and she could see how perhaps she was partly to blame for what she thought. She was sensitive to what she perceived as other people thought, despite telling herself that she didn’t care. It was hurt that had made her lash out at Evie, but it was becoming evident that Evie’s issues had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Evie. That thought had remorse following quickly on the heels of her anger, and Collette made a note to put developing a thicker skin on her list of improvements she need to make in her life.
“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. What was it you were trying to say before I blew up?” Collette was very careful to keep any accusations out of her words and voice.
“I cannot forbid you from getting involved with Ryce. You’re a grown woman and have earned the right to make whatever decision you feel is best for you. I want you to be careful.” Evie’s voice was soft.
Maybe they had both learned something about themselves they hadn’t liked with this conversation.
“Don’t worry, I will be.” Ryce didn’t appear to have any ill intentions toward her, but Collette could see Evie’s point. She was supposed to be getting her life on a different track and to do that she had to figure out what she wanted. “I have no intention of getting involved with another man.”
“So are we okay?” Evie asked, her voice tentative.
“Yes, we’re good.” Collette smiled at her old friend.
Evie looked relieved, and Collette wished she could share that feeling. It was easy to say she had no intention of involving herself with Ryce, but she wished she could believe it as readily as Evie. Evie hadn’t felt what Collette had in those moments when it seemed like he was about to kiss her. She knew that distancing herself from what Ryce stirred inside her was the right thing to do, but doing it was another matter entirely.
Collette followed Evie as she gave her a tour of the facility. Despite the apologies they’d given each other, things still felt awkward. Perhaps the only thing that would cure that was time.
Evie brought her into a huge room where Ryce, Synn and Miranda were gathered, along with a woman that Collette had never seen before. A huge display screen was front and centre in the middle of the far wall, and the young woman sat in a workstation in front of it. There were a few chairs scattered through the room, but everyone except the woman at the computer terminal had declined a seat.
“This is our communication room, and it’s the heart of our operation. This is Rebecca.” Evie drew Collette over to the workstation, and the young woman facing the screen turned with a smile on her face. She had a short pixie style haircut, with purple tips on her black hair. “Rebecca keeps the machine running, and I don’t know what I’d to without her. She’s a great hacker.”
“I’m an extraordinary hacker,” Rebecca said as she shook Collette’s hand. She gave Collette a cocky grin before turning back to face her work.
“What kinds of things do you do here?” Collette asked, looking over at Evie. Her friend’s operation was more sophisticated than Collette had first thought. She’d put a lot of money into this operation, and it showed. In her former life, Evie had come from money, so perhaps when she’d changed her life she’d brought some of that money with her.
