Reign or Shine

by Мишель Роуэн

  "I'll keep that in mind," I said dryly.

  "However, if Elizabeth does become queen of the Shadowlands, I would like to give her a little something special to… commemorate this event. Do you have any suggestions for me? Perhaps jewels, or furs. More obedient servants, perhaps?"

  I really didn't like this guy. At all.

  "I know she likes the perfume you already gave her," I said with distaste. "She even wears the bottle on a chain around her neck."

  "Perfume?" His frown deepened and confusion flashed across his expression. "I've never given her perfume before."

  "Maybe I heard her wrong."

  "No," he replied quickly. "If Elizabeth said I gave her the perfume, then I certainly did. I give her many gifts and I have a tendency to forget some of them."

  He glanced over his shoulder at something I couldn't see. When he turned back, he said, "I must go now, Princess Nikki. Please tell Elizabeth that I wish to speak with her at her earliest convenience."

  His image faded until there was nothing but shallow water in the basin.

  Elizabeth had said that she received her perfume from her boyfriend. Had Kieran really forgotten? Maybe she had more than one boyfriend? She was a beautiful woman, so it was entirely possible. I hoped I hadn't ruined anything by mentioning it to Kieran.

  Then again, after my very short conversation with the handsome Kieran, I figured Elizabeth would be better off without him. I did not like the way he leered at me. I mean, the guy had to be at least thirty years old-and that was assuming that demons aged at the same rate humans did.

  Creepy.

  And what was all that about Elizabeth wanting to be queen? I mean, I understood that she'd accepted the inevitable, but the way Kieran said it, it sounded like she was actually looking forward to it. What was that all about?

  I started to wonder what was taking Elizabeth so long, so I left the room to look for her, feeling uncomfortable being in the room with the gazer any longer. I headed along the hallway to the end where it turned to the right and kept following it until I saw Elizabeth go into a room up ahead. When I got to the doorway, I saw that she had a tray with a jug of water and a silver goblet. She poured a few drops from her small perfume bottle into the jug and then stirred the contents with a large silver-handled spoon.

  "Elizabeth?" I said out loud.

  She turned to look at me with wide eyes. "Nikki! You startled me." "Sorry."

  "I was about to come back for you." "What is that?" I asked, pointing at the jug. "I thought that was perfume you wore around your neck."

  She touched the blue bottle and I noticed her hand was shaking a little. "This. . no, this is medicine. It's to help with Desmond's pain. A few drops will ease his suffering. My perfume is in another bottle." She smiled. "They all look very similar, don't they?"

  I studied the vial skeptically. They did look similar. Really similar. "Could be Gatorade for all I know."

  She tilted her head to the side. "What is Gatorade?"

  "It's a drink. You can get it in the blue flavor if you want."

  She smiled. "The human world is a fascinating place, isn't it?"

  "Depends on the day, really."

  "Indeed." She picked up the tray. "I'm ready. We can go see your father now if you wish." I swallowed. "Okay."

  She left the room. I followed her through the mazelike hallways. I braced myself to hear another cry of pain, but there was only silence.

  I tried to remain calm and not overthink things, but my brief conversation with Kieran had deeply confused me. I had a hard time concentrating on anything else.

  "I have never given her perfume before."

  It was probably nothing, of course. It was also probably nothing that Elizabeth's perfume vial looked exactly the same as the container of my father's pain meds. My aunt was a kind woman who was looking after her dying brother. She was sacrificing her freedom to become queen because she felt it was her duty. She didn't even want to be queen.

  Who would want to be trapped in this castle without the opportunity of leaving?

  But still. Something felt off to me.

  "It's all she speaks of." Kieran's words echoed in my mind.

  "Desmond," my aunt said as she entered my father's room. Michael stood at the far side against the wall, silent. He looked at me and he smiled a little-just enough for me to see. "Nikki is here with me."

  "Yes," a deep voice replied. "I sensed that she had returned."

  My father, in full demon form, lay on a huge canopied bed in the middle of the room. He raised his head a little to look at me and I saw his eyes flash red.

  "Nikki." His voice was weak. "You shouldn't have returned. I didn't want you to see me like this again. Please don't be afraid."

  My heart clenched and I went directly to his side. This time, unlike last night when his demon form had taken me by surprise and scared me deeply, I could see him more clearly. He had coal black skin and a ridged forehead with large, curved horns protruding from his temples. His cheekbones and chin were sharp and angular. The tips of his ears came to a point and his eyes were catlike and glowed with dull red light in the dimness of the room.

  The room was a bit different from the others I'd seen. While I could tell that it still had black stone walls and floors, it had a few more personal touches.

  Colorful draperies and beautifully detailed paintings covered the walls. The scenes depicted seemed to be those of my world: waterfalls, sunsets, and beautiful meadows. In a frame among the other paintings there was an oil painting of a smiling woman who looked remarkably like my mother. It was dim in there, lit by a few torches.

  My father was covered by a blanket, but his large, heavily muscled bare arms lay on top. The skin looked leathery, similar to the wings that extended from his back, folded in on themselves so I could barely see them now. His hands were clenched over his stomach as if he expected to be racked with pain at any moment.

  I wanted to tell him about my Darkling form. How I'd shifted completely and was still okay. How maybe I was the exception-that maybe I wasn't at risk of dying early like the others had. But I still didn't know for sure. I didn't want to worry him or Elizabeth, so I held my tongue.

  Elizabeth, who wanted to take the throne. According to her boyfriend, that is.

  I reached out and put my hand on top of my father's, and the skin did feel leathery, but smooth and warm. He looked up at me with surprise.

  "I had to see you again," I said.

  "Why?" he asked hoarsely.

  "Because you're my father."

  His currently hairless brows drew together. "Nikki. . you have to go home and be happy. Be with your mother. Take care of her for me. Please forget about all of this. It's for the best."

  "Your father is right," Elizabeth said.

  Her voice made me tense.

  I watched her warily as she put the tray on a bedside table and then poured water mixed with the medicine into the goblet and brought it to my father's lips.

  "Drink this, Desmond. It will help."

  He did. I waited for her to mention the medicine, but she didn't say a word. My father didn't give any indication that he tasted anything other than water.

  Did he know that there was pain medication in his water? She'd been taking care of him for a while, so I guessed it would be expected.

  But why had she jumped when I caught her mixing it into the water earlier? Why had her hand been shaking?

  "Thank you," he said when he was done. "I'm so lucky to have had you near me ever since this horrible illness began, Elizabeth."

  She stroked his forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

  "Elizabeth returned to the castle before you got sick?" I asked.

  "Yes," my father said. "I don't know what I would have done without her."

  Elizabeth squeezed his hand. "I only wish I could ease your pain, brother."

  His attention returned to me and he looked at the vial I wore on the chain around my neck. "Why haven't you drunk the potio
n yet? I thought it was what you wanted."

  "I wanted to see you again."

  He managed a very small smile at that. "Even when I'm stuck in this form?"

  I nodded. His demon form was a fearsome thing, and at first glance anyone would assume that he was a monster, but I now knew that he wasn't. As he'd said to me yesterday, he was the same man underneath, no matter what outer form he took. I had no doubt that my father was a good man, even though he was also a demon.

  It sounded completely crazy, but I believed it.

  I wasn't afraid of him. I hadn't known him for my entire life, but I knew at that moment that I loved him. I loved my father so much and I didn't want him to die.

  My eyes burned with tears. I'd seen him one last time. I'd done what I wanted. I'd shown him that I wasn't afraid of him-I didn't want the last time he saw me to have been last night when I screamed because I was afraid of how he looked.

  Now the only thing I was afraid of was losing him before I got the chance to even get to know him.

  I cleared my throat and looked around the room. "The pictures. Where did you get them?"

  "I painted them myself. My memories of being in the human realm are still very vivid. I wanted to remember what I'd seen."

  "And the one of my mother?"

  "I painted that one as well." His eyes moved to it. "I can still see her when I close my eyes, as if I was with her only yesterday."

  Just then, his face convulsed and he clutched at his stomach. The veins and muscles in his neck bulged. He was in pain but wasn't crying out this time.

  Was it because I was in the room next to him? Did he not want me to see how much agony he was in? Was he holding in the scream so it wouldn't scare me? I felt like sobbing for him, for his pain, and for everything he was going through.

  Why wasn't the pain medication Elizabeth gave him working? Was it too late?

  When he settled down he met my gaze again. "I'm sorry, Nikki," his voice rasped. "For all of this."

  I shook my head and clutched on to his hand tighter. "Don't be sorry."

  He turned to Elizabeth. "May I have some more water?"

  "Of course." She poured more and brought it to him again, holding it up so he could drink. He was so weak he could barely swallow.

  I knew then that Elizabeth was right. He had only hours left. Perhaps not even that long.

  Michael's expression was tense. "I'll get more water."

  "No, I will." Elizabeth absently touched the small bottle she wore around her neck and I took a good, close look at it.

  It was the same bottle as yesterday. I was sure of it. Why would perfume and pain medicine be in the exact same bottle? Why would they be the exact same color?

  My thoughts churned together in a big confusing mass as I tried to make sense of everything I'd seen and heard. It felt like there was an answer there-something I was missing. Something that would make sense of everything.

  Michael, I projected telepathically. Does my aunt control everything that my father drinks or eats?

  There was a pause. "As far as I know. After she sent the rest of the servants away, no one else was here to do it. And she doesn't let me do anything."

  She sent the servants away? She told me that my father did that.

  "No, it was her decision. I was only able to stay because the king insisted."

  Does she have another boyfriend or is it just the prince from the Underworld?

  "It's just him. She's very devoted to him. I'm surprised she even came back to the castle since she had to leave his side to return."

  It was right before my father got sick?

  "Yes, that's right."

  My aunt turned to me then and gave me a kind smile. "I must go get more water. Have a few more minutes with your father, but then he needs his rest.

  Before you leave, however, I must insist that you drink the potion. As you have seen for yourself, there is no other solution to this unfortunate situation. I will have to take the burden of becoming queen. There is no other choice."

  I nodded and watched as she took the tray and left the room. My father closed his eyes and I watched him, sensing how close he now was to the end.

  My head was spinning, my brain swarming with information that I knew was important but that I couldn't quite piece together. Things that Kieran had told me only added to my confusion.

  He made it sound as if Elizabeth wanted to be queen more than anything, but she'd told me she was only doing it out of duty. That it was, as she'd just said, a burden.

  He hadn't given her perfume even though she said it was a gift from him. And now what I thought was a perfume bottle held medicine that she mixed into my father's drinking water.

  My aunt had returned to live at the castle, leaving the man she said she was in love with, just before my father became sick.

  I started breathing very fast then as it all began to click into place and my heart pounded twice as quickly in my chest.

  Michael, I thought and turned to look at him. Michael… I don't think my father is really sick. I don't think he's got an illness at all.

  "What do you mean?"

  He's. . he's not sick. It's Elizabeth. She wants to be queen. She wants me to drink the potion so I don't get in the way of her taking the throne. That has to be it. It has to be.

  He frowned at me. "Nikki-" Oh, my Qod, Michael. She hasn't been giving him medicine, has she? It's poison. Elizabeth has been poisoning him slowly, hasn't she? He isn't dying at all. He's being murdered!

  Panic clutched at my throat. I had to be wrong. She couldn't do something like this to her own brother, could she? It was impossible.

  Michael didn't think anything for a very long time and I looked at him and waited, wanting him to tell me I was crazy, that I was overreacting, that I was grasping at straws and seeing clues when there were none. His expression was unreadable. And then in the back of my mind, I heard him project two small words that changed everything for me right then and there. "You're right."

  Chapter 17

  I was stunned.

  How do you know? I thought frantically. Why didn't you tell me?

  But before he could answer me, Elizabeth returned to place the tray next to my father's bed. Her hand curled around my shoulder.

  "It's time, Nikki." She glanced down at my father. "He's sleeping now. He falls in and out of consciousness. It makes it easier for him that way."

  I just stared at her.

  Then I heard Michael's voice in my head.

  "Nikki, say nothing. Don't let on that you know anything. Please, trust me."

  "This…" I tried to breathe normally. "This has been very difficult."

  She shook her head. "Did I mention how beautiful you look today? That dress is lovely."

  "I… I was at a dance before I came here."

  "And that's how it should be. Sixteen-year-old girls shouldn't have to worry about these sorts of things. You should think about dances, and friends, and boys. It'll be fine, soon. Everything will be back to how it was meant to be. I promise you."

  I just looked at her. How could she seem so nice, even now? Even when I knew the horrible truth? Maybe I was wrong, maybe Michael was wrong.

  But no. It was true. I felt it deep inside of me.

  "You said that Darklings die before they're eighteen," I said quietly. "But you didn't say how they die."

  "That part of history is quite vague. I searched for as much as I could find, but the details are sketchy. I would assume that their hearts stopped working during their change to Darkling form. Or perhaps their poor little bod-ies simply gave out. It's impossible to expect human and demon forms to blend together. It's like oil and water. They can't be combined."

  "But are you just guessing that, or do you know for sure?"

  The edge of Elizabeth's mouth tightened almost imperceptibly. "For something that happened so long ago, it's difficult to say for sure, of course."

  I looked down at my father. My hand hadn't left his for the whole time
I'd been in the room and now I clung to him like I would never let go.

  Did he have any idea what his sister was doing to him? He shielded the human and faery realms from anything that might do them harm, stopping evil from crossing the Shadowlands, but he had no idea that evil was already there. He protected everybody, but nobody had protected him.

  Elizabeth pulled me away from my father's uncori'scious form and hugged me tightly. "It's good that he's sleeping now. I fear that Desmond will be in horrible pain right until the end, just like our father was. My only solace is that the end is very close now."

  Had she poisoned her father, too? If this was the same way her father had died, the similarities seemed too coincidental.

  She took my hand in hers and brought me over to the entrance. "He's been so strong. He's fought to live, Nikki, and I think a great part of that was learning of your existence. My father passed on much quicker. Desmond is strong, though-he's a fighter. But fighting is only prolonging his suffering. He needs to let go now, and I think that when you drink the potion, he'll be able to."

  "Where do demons go when they die?" I asked, trying to stall for time. Trying to figure out what to do next.

  "Where do we go?" she repeated. "We are not like humans. We have no immortal soul that must be divvied up between Heaven and Hell. All the more reason we should never coexist or fall in love with humans, you see. When a demon dies or is vanquished, we are gone. We refer to it as the Void-our place of eternal rest."

  Elizabeth looked over at Michael then. "Please take Nikki downstairs," she said. "I must stay with my brother to see if he needs anything. He isn't usually asleep for long periods. I will join you momentarily." She turned back to me and took my cold, clammy hand in her warm, dry one and squeezed it gently. "Then you'll drink the potion and Michael will take you home. Does that sound acceptable to you?"

  I nodded stiffly. Michael came to my side and our eyes met for a moment before he looked away.

  As I took a last glance at my father, I felt Michael's fingers close around my wrist and he began walking me away from the room.

  "Oh, I almost forgot," I called back to Elizabeth. "Your boyfriend showed up on your gazer after you left."