“Your mom does seem like the sentimental type.”
“Yeah, she is. In fact, I stopped by my parents’ house earlier and picked up something for Timmy,” he said as he guided her toward his office. Reaching into a drawer, he said, “Believe it or not, she saved this.” A superhero-shaped nightlight rested in his outstretched hand. “It was mine as a kid. My brothers gave me such a hard time for being afraid of the dark. At least Timmy doesn’t have to worry about those monsters as well as the ones under the bed.”
“He’s going to love it.” And she should have remembered to bring one from home. Maybe that would have kept him from having the nightmare in the first place. “About last night—”
Sam’s eyebrows rose, and Kara realized why as his gaze dropped to her lips. “I, um, mean about Timmy’s nightmare.”
The heat in his gaze cooled as he gruffly asked, “Does that happen a lot?”
“A few times since we’ve been here.”
“And what about before you came?” Kara hesitated long enough for Sam to make his own conclusions. “It didn’t, did it? Timmy wasn’t having nightmares until you brought him here.”
“No, that’s not true! He did have nightmares back home, but being in his own bed, surrounded by his own things, he settled down easier,” she admitted. “The only reason Timmy reached out to me last night is because he’s more comfortable with me.”
“Just how often did Marti leave Timmy with you?” Sam asked softly.
Startled by his change in subject, she protested, “That’s not why—”
“I’m not judging her, Kara.” A slight wince crossed his features. “Or at least, I’m trying not to, but I want to know what Timmy’s life was like with Marti...and with you.”
“She was my little sister.” Lifting her hands in a helpless gesture, she added, “She was young and beautiful, and she liked going out.”
“You make it sound like you were some kind of old-maid aunt. You’re young, beautiful...why weren’t you the one going out while Marti took care of her own child?”
“I just didn’t. And when—if I’d been in Marti’s shoes, I would have wanted someone to be there for me, the way I was for her. I never minded watching Timmy. Never. I loved every minute.”
She’d lived for those phone calls from Marti, hoping to hear the excitement in her sister’s voice, knowing it meant she had a date planned. Taking care of her nephew had filled Kara’s empty arms and a small part of the hole in her heart left by her daughter’s death. Nothing and no one could ever replace Ella, but her nephew’s birth had helped heal the hurt more than time or the way she’d thrown herself into school and her career ever had.
“I know how much you love him and how much he loves you.” He dropped his head but not before Kara had seen the pain in his eyes. “You’re the closest thing he has to a mother. That’s why I don’t know how...I can’t...”
“Hey, you two, hurry up!” Will called out from the front of the garage. “Before me and Timmy eat all the food!”
Sam exhaled a breath as if the interruption had given him a reprieve from what he might have said. “We should get out there.”
Kara followed him down the hall and outside, barely managing to put one foot in front of the other. For a second, she’d been so sure Sam had made up his mind about the decision facing them, the one they’d agreed not to talk about, and that hovered around them like early morning fog coming off the ocean.
Had Sam really been about to say he couldn’t take Timmy from her?
“Sam!”
Timmy pushed off the tailgate as he caught sight of his father. He rushed over with a wide grin and one of the still-wrapped sandwiches in his hands. A sandwich he exchanged for the nightlight and a piggyback ride back to the truck. His laughter drifted across the lot, and the hope floating through Kara’s heart sank.
I don’t know how...I can’t...
“I don’t know how either, Sam,” she whispered beneath her breath. “And I can’t take him away from you.”
Maybe there’s a compromise where you all win.
Whatever that compromise was, she hoped she and Sam could find it soon.
Chapter Eleven
For years, Sam and his brothers had met at Rolly’s Diner on Mondays for lunch, but this was one get-together he wasn’t looking forward to. Plastering a fake smile on his face, he greeted his older brothers at their large table in the back of the diner. “If it isn’t my two favorite brothers!”
Grabbing the laminated menu from his oldest brother’s hands—Sam didn’t know why Nick bothered looking at it when he ordered the same burger and fries every time they came—he asked, “How are the wedding plans coming along?”
As a stall tactic, that line wasn’t his best. As happy as Nick was to be marrying Darcy Dawson, wedding talk wasn’t going to be enough to save Sam from the grilling he knew his brothers had in store for him. By the end of the meal, chances were good he’d end up with more scorch marks on his hide than on Nick’s well-done burger.
But the questions his brothers were bound to ask were the same ones that had been plaguing him since he found out about Timmy. Questions that weren’t getting any easier to answer.
“You’re asking the wrong member of the wedding party that question,” Drew cut in before Nick could respond. “Nick is leaving everything in his beautiful bride’s hands. And in Mom’s and Sophia’s and Hope’s.”
Nick shrugged at the teasing. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get to marry the woman I love without having to be in on every decision about invitations and napkins and place settings. My only job is making sure you two clowns show up at the church on time.”
“I think that’s more the other way around. We’ll be the ones propping you up when you’re ready to hit the floor.”
“Not a chance,” Nick vowed with enough certainty to send a streak of something Sam refused to call envy shooting straight through his heart.
They talked for a few more minutes about the upcoming bachelor party, but not even that topic kept Nick from circling back to Sam. “Have you told Timmy you’re his father yet?”
Sam shook his head. “He’s still getting to know me. Timmy’s been through a lot already. We can’t just drop something like this on him. Kara and I agreed to take a few days for me to get to know Timmy before we talk about the future.”
“You’re going to have to tell him eventually,” Nick pointed out.
“I know,” Sam said, fighting the urge to turn Nick’s words into a criticism by instantly turning defensive. “But Kara and I agreed the best thing is to take it slow.”
“How slow?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you telling him next week? Next month? Next year?”
“It isn’t something you can put on a timeline!”
“Maybe you can’t,” his brother muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Sam—” Nick cut off whatever he was going to say and started again. “You said yourself Kara loves Timmy, and you can just bet that a woman like that is already making plans for her future with him.”
“We both agreed,” Sam argued, but Nick just shook his head, disappointment darkening his gaze.
Irritated, Sam fought against arguing back. Against defending himself...and Kara. He knew Nick thought he was being naive, foolishly trusting in the woman who posed a threat to his relationship with his child. But that was more about his big brother’s past with his ex. Carol had walked out on Nick and their daughter only to change her mind and want back into Maddie’s life.
But Kara wasn’t like that. Sam could trust her. He did trust her.
The question was whether or not he could trust himself. Would he have the strength to do the right thing—even if that meant letting Timmy go?
“I don’t get it, Sam. I don’t understand why you aren’t fighting with everything you’ve got for that boy.” Frustrated by the lack of response, Nick pushed away from the table despite Drew’s protests. “I’m going to leave now before I say something I’ll regret.”
Sam let out a bark of a laugh. “Come on, Nick. When’d you ever let something like that stop you?”
“Fine,” his older brother bit out. “This whole live-for-the-day, never-take-life-seriously attitude of yours? I thought maybe, just maybe, it was some sort of facade. That when push came to shove, you could man up and take responsibility when it mattered. Looks like I was wrong.”
Nick’s exit wasn’t dramatic enough to cause the entire restaurant to fall silent, but Sam felt as if it had. Or maybe the doubts swirling through his mind were so loud, they drowned out the normal sounds of silverware clanking against plates, orders being called out from the counter and the laughter and conversation from the tables around them.
“So,” Drew’s calm voice cut through the din, and Sam blinked, refocusing on his brother. “Was Nick wrong?”
Sam sucked in a breath. It probably shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick and—judging by the knowing expression on his face—Drew had seen through him so clearly. Had seen that his good-time-guy-grin was little more than a mask. But if both his brothers knew—hell, maybe the only one he’d been fooling was himself.
“Don’t you know?” Sam finally asked wryly. “Big brother’s never wrong.”
“That’s pretty much what he’s been saying our whole lives. Not that I’m about to tell him it’s true.”
“This isn’t about being afraid of responsibility or not wanting to take fatherhood seriously. I know how serious this is. How important it is to do the right thing here.”
“But?” Drew prompted when Sam bit back his next words.
“I’m not so sure that Timmy living here—living with me is the right thing.” After briefly explaining about Timmy’s nightmare and the way the little boy had pushed him away and clung to Kara, he said, “He’s already lost his mother, but the way Kara’s stepped in...”
He’d never had the chance to see Marti with Timmy and maybe he wasn’t being fair to his ex-girlfriend, but Sam couldn’t imagine that she’d loved Timmy any more than Kara did.
“I’ve been—” Sam cut himself off before saying out loud the thought that had been playing through his mind. An idea he’d barely acknowledged because it was too crazy to consider, wasn’t it? “I’ve been thinking about asking Kara to stay.”
His heart was pounding in his chest just hearing the words, and he looked up to try to gauge his brother’s reaction. Drew had always been the type to play things close to the vest, but Sam expected a hell of a lot more than a slight eyebrow lift, considering the bombshell he’d just dropped.
“It’s crazy, right?” he asked without waiting for Drew to respond. “I mean, just because I ask doesn’t mean she’ll say yes. Kara has a life in San Diego. A career. She’s a college professor, for God’s sake. Is she really going to give that up for—” Me?
Sam cut off the word before he could say it. This wasn’t about him, about Kara’s feelings for him, or God help him, his feelings for her. “For a life here in Clearville? Even if it does mean being a mother to Timmy.”
“I guess that depends,” Drew said finally.
“On what?”
“Are you asking her to stay because you need her help or because you need her?”
“I don’t—I don’t know what you mean.”
Drew’s knowing look called him a liar, but all he said was, “You might want to think about it. And if Kara doesn’t give the right answer, it might be because you asked the wrong question.”
* * *
Kara wasn’t sure what to think when Sam asked her to meet him at his apartment before their planned night of pizza and a movie. The animated feature was geared toward families, and it was one Timmy had already seen. Like most kids, though, he could watch his favorites dozens of times without getting bored. She’d teased Sam about the movie choice, asking about the last cartoon he’d seen.
“I don’t remember the last one,” he’d confessed before adding, “but I’ll remember this one.”
The first movie he’d take his son to, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Sam and Timmy had a whole future of ‘firsts’ ahead of them. Everything from Timmy’s first day at kindergarten, his first lost tooth, his first role in a school play. Firsts Kara had always thought she would be a part of. Firsts she still longed to be a part of. If not in San Diego, then here in Clearville...
Her conversation with Olivia circled through her mind.
Do you really think I should move here for Timmy?
For Timmy...for you...and maybe even for Sam.
Could she do it? Give up everything and move to Clearville?
She glanced down at Timmy, his small palm tucked into her free hand, and realization swept over her. She wouldn’t be giving up anything that mattered. Her heart was with the little boy at her side, and she was beginning to fear, with the man opening the door to greet them.
Sam’s emerald eyes shined as he took in the sleeveless dress she’d bought at a small boutique on Main Street. The soft pink-and-white swirled pattern wasn’t what she would normally buy, but the dress had fit her slim curves perfectly—something the heat in his gaze confirmed better than any dressing-room mirror ever could.
“Hi,” she greeted him almost shyly, nervous butterflies dancing in her stomach as if this were a first date.
“Hi, Sam,” Timmy piped up at her side.
A first date with a four-year-old chaperone, Kara thought.
“We brought you a present,” Timmy said.
“Oh, yeah? What is it?”
“You hafta open it and see.”
“I can’t wait.” Taking the large blue-and-white striped bag from her hand, he held out an arm for the two of them to enter his small apartment. The living area had a decidedly masculine feel with earth-tone furniture, a well-used coffee table and an enormous flat-screen television. But a few pieces of art decorated the other walls, and a burgundy throw and matching pillows brightened the tan couch and loveseat. Compliments of his mother, he had already told her. Timmy raced inside, giving Sam time to lean close and whisper, “You look amazing. Almost too good for going to see some kids’ flick.”
“Only ‘almost’?” she asked, surprised to hear the flirtatious words coming from her mouth.
Sam made a sound of agreement. “Any better and I’d be tempted to forget all about the movie.”
Her heart skipped a beat as his gaze dropped to her lips, and she knew if they’d been alone, he would have kissed her. A long-silent, reckless part of her wished he would anyway. But she had to be content with knowing how much he wanted to.
“So, what’s this for?” he asked as he lifted the bag.
“Is it your birthday?” Timmy asked, peering inside when Sam set the present on the coffee table and sat down on the couch.
“Nope, not my birthday.”
As he reached past the blue tissue paper, Kara sat down beside him. “Consider it a belated Father’s Day present,” she said softly.
Sam held her gaze for a long moment before he lifted out the first mahogany-colored frame and stared at the photo behind the glass. He was silent for so long, Kara couldn’t stop the words spilling out to fill the gap. “When I was at your parents’ house, I saw all the baby photos of you and the rest of your family. It didn’t seem right that Timmy wasn’t there.” She swallowed hard as those words took on greater meaning. “Anyway, that’s a picture I took at the hospital right after Timmy was born. I had two copies made—one for you and one for your parents.”
Rubbing a thumb over the glass, Sam murmured, “I can’t believe how small he was.”
Realizing the present wasn’t anything as interesting as toys, Timmy sank down on the carpet to play with one of his plastic dinosaurs. It wasn’t much privacy. Just enough for Sam to lean close and press a soft kiss to her lips. “Thank you,” he murmured as he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ve got something of a surprise for Timmy, too.”
“For me?” Eyes lit with excitement, the little boy abandoned his Jurassic world to scramble to his feet.
“Yep, come take a look,” Sam said with a squeeze to Kara’s hand before he carefully set the picture frame aside.
With her lips still tingling from his kiss, Kara wasn’t sure what to expect when Sam led them down a short hall that obviously led to a bedroom and opened the far door. The space had clearly been used for storage and a makeshift guest room, with a slightly sagging futon beneath the window and a bookshelf lined with sports equipment. But the center of the room was filled with toys. Cars and trucks and trains. Actions figures frozen midbattle. Board games in beat-up boxes with the corners duct-taped together.
Sam was watching Timmy, waiting for his reaction, but Timmy froze in the doorway before looking up with his forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Do you have a little boy like me, Sam?”
Kara stood close enough to feel the impact of those words on Sam. His entire body tensed, his muscles trembled with the effort of holding back the words he wanted to say. Not like you—you. You are my little boy.
She pressed a hand to her chest where her emotions were playing a heartbreaking game of tug-of-war.
Tell him, Sam.
No! Don’t tell him—if you do, he won’t need me anymore. Neither of you will...
Though the selfishness of her own thoughts nearly tore her up inside, she couldn’t help hoping Sam would stay silent for just a little longer. She didn’t know where he found the strength, but somehow Sam managed a smile for his son.
“Actually, these are some toys from when I was a little boy. After I picked up that nightlight from my mom, she went through and found some more of my old toys. I liked cars and trucks when I was a kid, but check this out.” Sam grabbed a new, unopened box off the bookshelf. “This is Robosaurus. It’s a machine and—”
Daddy Says, I Do! Page 14
