He made the five mile ride to his brother’s house at a slow, leisurely pace. He couldn’t quit thinking about what it would be like to be married to a woman who was pregnant with another man’s child. And how would he feel about the child after it was born? He thought he’d be able to be a father to it, but what if it was born and he felt no connection?
Instead of going to his brother’s house, he searched for him as soon as he crossed his own property line and was on his brother’s land. He knew his brother would be in the field at this time of day, the same as he’d been. Samuel was always where he was supposed to be.
After a minute or two of peering across the rows of wheat, he spotted his brother. He dismounted and tied his horse’s reins to the saddle before heading across the field to him. By the time he’d picked his way through the field to his brother, Samuel had stopped working and was watching him. Because Samuel had always been a man of few words, instead of greeting his brother, he simply nodded at him.
“Need some advice.” Thomas was the more talkative of the two, but he didn’t waste words when they weren’t necessary. After days and days alone on the homestead, it sometimes felt strange to hear the sound of any voice other than his own anyway.
Samuel nodded. “Sure.” The two brothers were alike in both looks and temperament. They were both tall, thin men with dark hair and eyes. Samuel wore a beard and mustache, but Thomas was clean-shaven. Victoria, Samuel’s wife, always said if Thomas ever grew a beard, she’d never be able to tell the two of them apart.
Samuel’s dog, Jasper, played around their feet as they stood in the field. “You know I mentioned I might send for a bride?”
Samuel nodded. “Mail order.”
“Yup. Well, I did, and it’s been three months. Just got a response today.” He pulled the letter out of the front pocket of his pants and handed it to his brother to read.
Samuel read through it, folded the letter, and handed it back. “You want a pregnant wife?” His eyes studied his brother’s face.
Thomas shrugged. “Don’t know. Trying to figure that out. Can a woman, you know, when she’s pregnant?” He was embarrassed to have to ask, but he needed to know to make the decision.
“Yup. We did.”
“Does Victoria let her patients do that?” Samuel’s wife, Victoria, was the midwife for the other women in the area.
“Sure. Long as they’re healthy, it’s not a problem.”
Thomas stood staring off into the distance. Now the question was did he even want to marry a woman who was pregnant with another man’s baby? Would he feel like he was doing something wrong every time he touched her? “You think I should do it?” He valued his brother’s advice more than any other man he’d ever met.
“Can’t answer that. You lonely? Want a wife?”
Thomas nodded. “Yup.”
“Then do it. At least you know she can have kids.”
Thomas looked down at the folded letter in his hands, wondering just what the right thing to do was. He wondered how he’d feel if he died and knew his wife was pregnant and desperate enough she had to become a mail order bride? He’d want a good man to marry her and take care of her. He didn’t know the man she’d married, but he could do something good for him anyway. “I’m gonna do it.”
“Good. Stay for supper.”
Thomas nodded, and knelt on the ground and started pulling up weeds. If he was going to stay for supper and get a good home-cooked meal, the least he could do was help his brother work for the rest of the day.
He’d make the thirty mile ride into town the next day and send for his new bride. He just hoped she was pretty enough to make up for the fact that she was pregnant.
*****
During the month since Charlie had died, Esther had made a point of visiting with Harriett every morning after she sold her surplus eggs. Her father-in-law had taken the farm over and was working it as hard as Charlie ever had. He’d hired a couple of men to work his own land while he worked his son’s. If her mother-in-law was going to come for a visit, she always came in the mornings, so Esther made a point of being out of the house whenever possible.
On a Wednesday in early July, she made the walk to Harriett’s house with her empty egg basket as usual. She still missed Charlie with everything inside her, but she knew she had done the right thing by responding to Thomas’s letter. Her baby needed to have a father.
She was far enough along that the morning sickness had started. Esther wanted to laugh at the term morning sickness. It was more like all day long sickness. It was morning, noon, and night sickness. It was look at a small piece of food that you needed to eat to nourish your unborn child and get sick sickness. She’d vomited more times within the past two weeks than she had in the rest of her life put together.
When she got to Harriett’s house, she knocked on the door with absolute confidence. She knew now she’d be accepted immediately. When the door was answered, she smiled up at the tall slim man. “Good morning, Higgins! Is she in her office?” She loved visiting with Harriett. As soon as she left her house for the day, she began anticipating the next trip to town to see her friend.
Higgins nodded and opened the door wide for her. She walked back through the house and stood outside the closed door of Harriett’s office. “Are you up for tea and cookies this morning, Mrs. Perry?”
Esther put her hand on her stomach and shook her head. “No cookies for me this morning, but I’d love some tea.” Tea was one of the few things she could drink that didn’t make her sick.
“I’ll bring it straight away.”
“Thank you!” She opened the door to Harriett’s office without knocking, something she did on a regular basis, and saw her friend’s face go from sadness to a smile in seconds.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Harriett held up a letter. “Look what we got today!”
Esther stared at the envelope, not certain if the pounding in her chest was from dread or excitement. She was ready to leave Beckham and start her new life, but she wasn’t ready to be married to a total stranger. Maybe he’d said no. “What does it say?”
Harriett shook her head. “I don’t open other people’s mail. You’ll have to see for yourself.” Harriett offered the envelope to Esther.
Esther took the envelope from Harriett’s hand, almost afraid to see what was in it. Had he rejected her and the baby? She flipped it over and over in her hands. Finally, she took her regular seat on the couch and opened the letter, reading it to herself.
“Dear Esther, I was pleased to receive your letter. I’ve enclosed a train ticket and some money for your travel expenses. Please give the bank draft to Mrs. Long. I’ll meet you at the station in Lindsborg, Kansas on Saturday, July twelfth at noon. I’ll have a sign with your name on it, so we can recognize one another. All my best, Thomas.”
Esther looked at the papers that had dropped to the floor when she opened the envelope. She hadn’t even noticed them. “I was almost hoping he’d tell me he didn’t want me because of the baby.” Her eyes lifted to meet Harriett’s. “I’m scared.”
Harriett sighed. “You don’t have to go. I can find someone else for him.”
Esther shrugged. “I certainly can’t stay here. My mother-in-law told me I can stay for two more weeks and then I have to get out.”
“You could come and stay with me.”
“But you’re about to leave as well! You can’t take a pregnant woman with you.” Esther laughed softly. “I can just see the two of us getting off the train together to meet your future husband. He’d be trying to figure out what’s going on.”
Harriett smiled at the picture. “Well, it would make for an interesting story to tell.”
“My ticket is for the day after tomorrow. I’ve already sold everything I can sell, and my things are packed. I need to just go.” She handed the check to Harriett. “This is yours.”
“Did he give you enough for travel expenses?”
Esther counted through the cash in the envelop
e. “It looks like it.”
“Good. Do you want me to go to the train station with you?”
“Would you mind? It wouldn’t hurt your leg, would it?” She really didn’t want to go alone, but she didn’t want to put Harriett out either. She wouldn’t do anything that would cause her friend more pain.
Harriett shrugged. “Everything hurts my leg. It’s better if I take a short walk at least once per day, though, so I’ll get the mail while I’m out and go with you to the station.”
“I’d like that.” Harriett didn’t often talk about the pain she was in and had never explained to her what had happened, but Esther got the impression she’d lost her baby at the same time her leg had been injured. “My train leaves at noon.”
“If you’re here by ten thirty, we’ll have plenty of time, even if the train is early.” Harriett smiled at her friend. “Did you have morning sickness again today?”
Esther nodded. “I’ve barely been able to eat anything all day long it’s been so bad.” She rested her hand on her uneasy stomach to punctuate her words.
“Did you talk to the doctor about it?”
“He just patted me on the arm and told me it’s the penalty for bearing children.” Esther shook her head. “You can certainly tell he’s never given birth or he’d be a lot more sympathetic. His wife told me to sip slowly and start every day with toast.”
Harriett grinned. “Have you been able to get everything you’ll need together for your journey?”
“I have most of it. I should probably make myself a couple of new dresses, but I did that right before I married, and I’m just not worried about it.” She shrugged indicating it was all she could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. New dresses were a dream.
Harriett shrugged. “You’ll have plenty of time to sew after you get to Kansas. You know you’re going to have to write to me, don’t you?”
Esther nodded. “I will. I promise I’ll write as much as I can.” She wasn’t sure how her new husband would be about expecting her to help with the farm chores, or just wanting her to work in the house.
Higgins came in with the tea and they both took a cup after Harriett poured. “I’m really going to miss you!”
“But in just a few weeks, you’ll be heading out yourself.” Esther eyed her friend. “Are you sure?” She was more worried about Harriett doing well with her mail order placement than she was for herself. There was just something about Harriett Long that made Esther want to try to protect her.
Harriett shrugged. “I’ve been writing him for two years. If I’m not ready, I never will be. I’m honestly surprised he waited this long for me. He should have told me to send someone else a long time ago.” She stared off into space for a moment as if lost in thought about her new husband.
Esther smiled. “He’s going to take one look at you and be thrilled that he waited.”
“I really hope so.”
“I can’t believe you’re so nervous after the number of brides you’ve sent off.”
Harriett laughed. “I’m great at picking grooms for other women!”
Esther wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She set her tea cup on the table in front of her. “I’m not sure I’ll come into town tomorrow morning. I need to spend the time cleaning the house and getting my clothes packed for the trip.”
“I’ll see you Wednesday morning, then.” Harriett stood up and walked with her friend to the front door. “I can’t even express how much I’ll miss you. Usually I feel a sense of accomplishment as my brides board the train for wherever they’re going. With you, I’m feeling a sense of loss.” She hugged Esther tightly.
Esther hugged her friend back. She’d never really had many female friends other than her sisters. Harriett had been a godsend to her at a difficult time. It was hard to let go.
*****
Wednesday came too fast. Esther didn’t tell her mother and father-in-law where she was going, because she didn’t want them to know how to find her. She explained what she was doing to her mother, but she was the only person she told. Her mother’s reaction was pragmatic. “I’ll miss you, but I think you’re doing what’s best.”
Until that moment, Esther had held out hope her parents would offer her a home, but she knew they didn’t have room.
As she made the walk to Beckham Wednesday morning, Esther couldn’t help but let her mind wander over the events of the past few months. She and Charlie had been the schoolhouse sweethearts. From the time she was twelve, she’d known she and Charlie would marry and spend the rest of their lives together. It had never occurred to her that Charlie would die young and she’d be left alone.
Meeting a new man and marrying him were strange ideas for her, but she’d do whatever she had to do to ensure the well-being of her baby. Stopping in front of Harriett’s stately home, she stared at it for a minute, wondering how her life would have been different if she’d been born into a life of ease. Somehow it seemed as if money would have solved all her problems, but deep down she knew it wasn’t true. Money would just bring its own troubles.
She knocked on the door and Harriett opened it herself. She carried a small canvas sack, which she held up as she stepped over the threshold. “I brought you sandwiches and a jar of lemonade for the trip. Food is very dear on a train, and you don’t want to have to spend that much of the money Thomas sent.”
Esther nodded, almost too nervous about her first train trip to even speak. They walked through the streets with Harriett asking questions in her calm, sweet voice while Esther looked around the town as if she’d never seen it. After today, she’d never come back to her home town. Would she be homesick every day, or would she adapt to her new life quickly?
“I need you to promise me something,” Harriett told her, breaking her out of her reverie.
“What’s that?” Esther looked at Harriett in surprise, realizing just then they’d arrived at the train station.
“I want you to promise me that if you’re in a bad situation in Kansas, you’ll come home.”
“What do you mean by a bad situation?”
Harriett took a deep breath. “I mean if you find yourself married to a man who hits you or treats you badly in any way, I want you to get straight on a train and come right back here. Or to me wherever I am. I’ll send the money for the fare, but you have to promise you won’t stay. You’ll find somewhere to go.” Harriett’s face was earnest as she asked her friend for her promise.
Esther stared at her friend. Was she speaking from experience? “I promise. I won’t put my baby in any kind of danger, and that means I’ll leave as soon as something even makes me a little nervous there.”
Harriett smiled and nodded, looking relieved. “A woman never has to stay with a man who hurts her. I wish I could travel the world and say that to every single woman, but it’s just not possible.”
They talked of Harriett’s plans for her future while they waited for the train to arrive. The call of “All Aboard” interrupted them, and Esther jumped to her feet.
Esther hugged her friend tightly. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m going to miss you more than I could ever express.”
“I’ll miss you too. Write me as soon as you get there so I know you’re okay.” Harriett’s face was sad as she stood hugging her friend for the last time. She’d be alone again.
“I will. You write me as soon as you get to Oregon.” Esther gripped Harriett’s hands. “I need to know you’re safe!”
“No worries. I’ll write you constantly!”
With one last hug, Esther rushed to the train. She looked back over her shoulder to see Harriett standing with tears in her eyes. She waved quickly and boarded the train. She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to Harriett to make her say what she had.
Chapter Three
The trip from Beckham, Massachusetts to Lindsborg, Kansas took four days. Four long days of constant nausea for Esther. The rocking of the train, combined with her morning sickness, had been a
lmost too much for her to bear. She’d vomited repeatedly on the long trip to the point that other passengers stayed as far away from her as possible.
They would be at her stop in just a few minutes, and she wished there was a way for her to take a bath. She had vomit on her clothes, and even some in her hair. She knew Thomas was going to take one look at her and offer to pay for her trip right back to Beckham and she wouldn’t blame him one bit.
When the train stopped, she picked up her carpet bag she’d carried onto the train and walked out onto the platform, her stomach rolling from the sudden stop of motion. She wanted to scream. She was sick when she was moving, but she was sick when she wasn’t moving. It had to stop somehow!
The other people who were getting off at the same stop stood as far from her as they could. She knew her stench was overwhelming, but they made her feel like a leper. She was expecting someone to walk through the crowd in front of her yelling out “unclean!”
She looked out over the sea of people and spotted a tall, thin man leaning against a wagon and holding up a sign that said, “Esther Perry.” He wasn’t handsome, but he wasn’t ugly. She made her way toward him as quickly as she could around all the people. Many people scattered out of her way, trying to avoid the smell of vomit clinging to her even in the open air.
Thomas looked out over the people on the platform, and hoped his bride had missed her train. There was only one person who’d gotten off the train who could possibly be his bride, and she was filthy. Her hair hung down along her face in clumps and her dress looked as if it hadn’t been washed in a month. The woman slowly made her way toward him, and he did his best to keep the revulsion from his face.
Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Page 3
