The Sanctuary

by Arika Stone

  His eyes narrowed. “I only started using after I returned from New York. If you would have stayed away from Jude, none of this would have happened.”

  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and leaned against the wall. I would not argue with him. I knew the mood swings were from the withdrawal. “Please, Val, she’s not going to have a father if you continue down this path.”

  “I don’t want to leave you again for another month or two. Don’t you get that?” His tone was sharp and to the point.

  “I’ll leave you two alone to discuss this,” the doctor said as he stepped out of the room.

  I sat down on the bed next to him. “If you don’t get help, then you may not see me for a while. I can’t cope right now with you detoxing. I’m not in any physical state to do so. We’ll get the best help out there, but you have to understand I don’t know how to take care of you properly.”

  He sighed and ground his teeth again. The sweat poured down him. “I hate group. They make you talk to a bunch of strangers, half of whom don’t want to be there.”

  “And would you be included in that group?” I grabbed the washcloth and washed his face again before staring into his hazy eyes. “Please, Val, she needs you to do this.”

  He slowly nodded. “Fine, but only if you transport me there. I need a cigarette.”

  Chapter 54

  Sixty thousand dollars and thirty days later, Val and I had our first couple’s session together. We obtained the most exclusive treatment money could buy—no expense could be spared to make him well. We kept in touch daily, and even though we were apart again, this time it was different. We connected on a different level, a more intimate one that surpassed sexuality and transcended into spirituality. We spoke about things that never came up in conversations prior: life, death, heaven, hell, our hopes, our dreams, and our future together. It was a bonding experience, which our relationship needed, a pickup after the fall.

  The receptionist ushered me down an immaculately decorated corridor, which resembled a luxurious five-star day spa. She knocked on the door and announced my presence before extending the door open for me to enter. I peeked inside and saw Val. He was radiant and beaming.

  “Hello, darling.” He stood up and rushed to me, embracing me in his arms and kissing me sweetly on the lips. “I’ve missed you.”

  “And I missed you too.” I buried my head on his chest. It was good to have him back.

  “Hello, Eve. I’m Doctor Verke. I’ve been working with Val. Please have a seat.” He extended his hand for me to shake.

  “Excuse me, Doc.” Val turned to me and held my hand. “How are you, darling?”

  “Beat up inside. I don’t think she’s going to wait much longer.” I shrugged my shoulders. The pressure on my joints made my legs want to give out half of the time.

  “Is she moving?” His eyes glimmered with delight.

  “No, not yet today, but I’ll let you know when she does.” I knew once she heard him she would stir. She always did.

  He eyed me up and down. “Are you up to taking a walk later? I’d like to have some alone time.”

  I knew that look, and it was dangerous. I glanced down at our baby before looking up and winking. “Of course I’m up to it.”

  “You two seem to be getting along much better.” Doctor Verke smiled. “But there are still some issues I’d like to discuss. Let’s start with when you first met. Tell me about it.”

  For the next hour, we discussed how we met, what drew us to the other person, why we’d moved in together so fast. We chatted about our likes and dislikes. The doctor explained to us why we behaved in certain ways toward each other. It was very enlightening and refreshing to hear a different perspective of our situation.

  “Let me ask you both this. Why did you agree to rush into marriage after three months?”

  Val began, “She inspired me from day one. I was in love with her the first moment I saw her. I couldn’t let her go. And I feared as soon as she returned to America, I would lose her and she would be unhappy again.” He turned to me. “More than anything in life, I want to see you happy, and I hope I am the one to always bring happiness to you.”

  “And again, we go back to the role of protector. This is a constant theme in your relationship. He wants to shelter you from the things that hurt you.” Doctor Verke looked at me.

  I nodded that I understood and turned to Val. “You make me happy. You are the blood that flows though my heart. You give me life. And you gave me life too.” I rubbed my belly, making my point. “I hesitated to rush into things, but that wasn’t because I doubted our love. It was because I doubted myself. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want to be hurt. But you showed me what it was like to be loved, to have a family, to be a wife. And I enjoyed that, so much. I wanted to grow with you and for us to experience life together. I was afraid our lives would tear us apart if I wasn’t bound to you. I didn’t want to lose you.”

  Doctor Verke beamed. “She followed you with blind faith, trusting you completely as you guided her into a new life. She enjoys the security and stability you bring. You’re her strength, her shoulder, something she never had and you have fulfilled. So we know why you took that leap of faith together, but that leads into the question, why did you decide to have a baby so soon?”

  “For my own selfish reasons,” Val interjected. “We were both upset over the child we lost. I thought it would heal us.” He turned to me. “I’m sorry, darling.”

  I pressed my lips together, pausing to gather my thoughts. “I knew having a baby would be the end of us. I didn’t want to be pregnant and alone. You were supposed to be my support, and you weren’t there. I wasn’t ready to start a family, although it was something I wanted. I wanted to wait until we returned to Finland. I wanted time to enjoy us as a couple. Remember when I said that?”

  Val nodded.

  “And your response was we would have nine months to do that. But in these seven months, we didn’t. I feel robbed.” I sighed and looked down.

  The doctor spoke softly. “Val, tomorrow will be a month, and I think you are doing marvelously. I know you have two more weeks here, but I think we could alter your plan to a day program. This way you two can spend time alone, at night, to enjoy each other before the baby comes. Is this something you would feel comfortable doing?”

  Val’s eyes lit up, and he squeezed my hand. “Absolutely. Can I go home tonight?”

  Doctor Verke glanced at the clock. “I’ll see what I can do. It’s still early. Eve, how would you feel if Val came home evenings?”

  “If he’s ready, I’d love to have him home.” I smiled. The idea of sleeping in his arms tonight made me ecstatic.

  “Remember what we discussed about triggers. Keep those in mind if you go out.”

  “What does a day program consist of?” I asked.

  “Val would come here in the morning and go home at night. It will make a smoother transition for both of you as you reconnect, especially since you haven’t lived together in over six months. If you feel you need to extend the program after the two weeks, we can do so. We would also need you to come in for more couple’s counseling. It’s important he has your support.”

  “Of course.” I nodded.

  “Why don’t you grab lunch? You have about an hour. I’ll have my assistant start the paperwork so you can go home this evening. Eve, can you come back at five?”

  I smiled. Val was coming home. “Yes, absolutely.”

  We walked out of the office arm in arm. I couldn’t believe our journey was finally over. Nothing stood in the way of us being together. We’d conquered our obstacles and were closer than we ever had been.

  He leaned down. His hair touched the side of my face as he whispered in my ear, “I can’t wait to be home with you.”

  “Neither can I. Is there anything special I can make you for dinner?”

  He shook his head and shot me a devilish smile. “That depends. Are you on the menu?”

  “I c
ould be, but only for dessert.”

  Chapter 55

  “It’s good to be home.” He closed the door and scanned the room. “You’re still up to your old tricks. This place is immaculate.” He sniffed the air and smiled.

  “Thank God for house cleaners. What did you do, fire the maid? The place was trashed when I got here.”

  He dropped his bags and laughed. “Sort of.”

  “What do you mean sort of?” I couldn’t stop smiling. It was good to have him home.

  “She never came back.” He watched me as I started to cook.

  “What did you do?” I laughed. I knew something had happened.

  “Nothing. She walked in on me naked. I didn’t expect her to come that day.”

  I shot him a sideways glance. “You didn’t expect her? She was supposed to be here every day.”

  “Yeah, but I changed it to once a week. I forgot what day it was.” He laughed sheepishly and walked behind me, wrapping his arms above my belly.

  “I know there is more to the story than that. If anything, she’d want to come back to see more.” I tilted my head to the side so he could kiss me on the neck.

  “Well, I was naked, and she might have caught me wanking off.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned back, hysterical with laughter. “You’re so bad.”

  “I know.” He kissed me on the neck again, knowing how much it turned me on. “Is bad on the menu tonight too?” He turned off the stove and led me away from the kitchen. “Maybe we could eat later?”

  I followed him up the steps. “I can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

  My words caused him to break out into a fit of laughter. He opened the bedroom door. “You sound like we’re seventeen.”

  “I certainly feel like it right now.” I froze in the bedroom. I wanted to connect with him again, but my body was so awkward.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle.” He ripped his shirt off and tossed it to the floor.

  “Now you sound like an older boyfriend trying to seduce me.” I laughed at his words. As embarrassed as I felt, I was still comfortable around him.

  He approached me and ran his fingertips over my arms. “Well, I am older than you.” He winked.

  “But not by much.” I bit the bullet. “Okay, let’s do it.”

  “Oh, I’m glad I convinced you.” He leaned into me, half laughing, half kissing me, but my stomach got in the way.

  “See, how can we make love like this?” I giggled.

  “I’m sure I can think of a couple of ways.” He led me to the bed and spun me around, placing me down on my hands and knees.

  “How romantic. This is just how I pictured it.” I rolled over onto my back, inching up onto the bed.

  Val placed a knee on the bed and boosted himself over me. It was wonderful that he was so much taller than me, and with a slight arch of our hips, the baby didn’t even get in the way. His hand slid up my side and pulled my shirt over my breasts.

  “Be careful. I’m leaking.”

  “Oh, you shouldn’t have told me that.” He winked and gently caressed me. “I’ll be careful.”

  I eyed him, giving him a dirty look.

  “I swear, I’ll be careful.” He laughed, pulling my shirt over my head. I didn’t remember ever having so much fun with him in bed.

  “You better be, or you’ll be changing the sheets,” I scolded him playfully.

  “If that’s my punishment, I don’t mind then.” He tucked his hair behind his ears, trying to keep it out of my face, and kissed me on the lips. His hot tongue slid into my mouth, and I instantly felt connected to him. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer to me.

  His hands quickly flew down my side, tugging on my pants, which, thanks to the elastic waistband, slipped down easily.

  The baby began to stir. I placed my hand on my belly. “You better be quiet. She’s starting to move, and there’s no way you’re fucking me if she’s awake.”

  He mounted me again. “Is this how it’s going to be for the rest of our lives?”

  “I’m sure this is only the tip of the iceberg.” I laughed. I was so in love with him.

  He rubbed his cock against my pussy. “You’re drenched. I’ve never felt you so wet.”

  “Maybe my water broke?” I shifted sideways to check if the bed was wet.

  His lips inched down my body over my belly. “Let me taste and I’ll let you know.”

  I grabbed him. “Oh Val, don’t even go there.” The baby started to stir again. “Stop, you’re waking her up,” I playfully chided him.

  He kissed my stomach. “Hello, little one. Daddy is home, and he needs you to go back to sleep so he can fuck Mommy.”

  “Val!” I screamed. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

  “Like she knows what fuck means.” His eyes danced. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He laughed, shifting himself onto me and sliding his cock between my lips. “You’re beautiful, Eve, and I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I missed you too. Make love to me, Val.”

  “Are you sure?” He pressed his throbbing cock a bit farther, penetrating my pussy with his head.

  “Yes.” I bit my lip and moaned. Thoughts of him entering me sent waves of pleasure through my body.

  He tenderly inched his way inside, as if he was afraid to go too fast. I didn’t realize how horny I would be. I wanted to feel him all the way inside, and I wanted it now. “Val, just fuck me.”

  He began to grind against me, slow and shallow, but it wasn’t enough to quench my craving for him. “Val, fuck me! Come on, like we used to.” My nipples were hard and erect, and I could feel my pussy dripping with desire.

  He began to pump a little faster. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

  I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him toward my face. “Fuck me, harder!” I growled. I clenched onto his shoulders. His cock felt enormous inside of me. I was going to come any minute. My hands grasped his back, and I felt the ridges of the scars I’d created on him months ago in the shower. It was pleasing to the touch, knowing I’d scarred him for life.

  He placed a hand under my back and arched me up to thrust deeper into me. It was the position I needed to send me over the edge.

  “Oh, Val…” He kept pumping into me. “Val, stop,” I said between breaths, my body shaking in delight. He groaned but kept pumping slowly. “Please, I don’t think I can come again.”

  “Oh…shhh…Eve. I’m almost there,” he growled into my mouth.

  He hadn’t spoken to me like that in months, and my body was turned on by his spark of dominance. “Mmm…say it again.”

  He perked one eyebrow up, questioning me.

  “Say it, Val.”

  His voice grew deeper. “Shut up.”

  “Say it like you mean it. Let me feel the bite of your words,” I challenged.

  “Shut the fuck up, Eve!” he roared, falling into me, breathless and indulged.

  “Next time, slap me when you say it. Now, get off of me. I have to pee.” I shoved him, rolling him onto his back.

  I returned from the bathroom moments later to find Val lounging in bed, cigarette in hand.

  We sat there in silence enjoying the afterglow. Pregnant sex wasn’t so bad after all. It was downright enjoyable.

  “Do you have my collar?” I asked.

  He turned his head slowly toward me. “Your collar? Are you serious?”

  “Yes. And the ropes, do you have them here? Or are they in New York?”

  His eyes searched mine. “You’re serious, aren’t you? No, I don’t. Everything’s at the apartment. Besides I couldn’t do that to you. You’re pregnant.”

  “But I want to play. Can we?”

  “Hmm…I don’t know. I’d rather wait.” He kissed me.

  We remained silent, each lost in our own train of thought. My mind raced. I wanted to get back to New York, not only for my collar but also for the baby. “Val? I know you’re here for another two weeks, but is there any chance you can
move the release to New York after you finish rehab? I want my own doctor. I don’t want to give birth in L.A.”

  “Do you think she’s going to come early?”

  “I know she’s going to be early.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. But of course we can fly to New York whenever you want.”

  I rolled next to him. “I’m tired. Do you mind if I go to sleep?”

  “No, not at all. Can I hold you for a bit?”

  “I’d love that. I’ve missed you sleeping next to me.” I rolled onto my side. Val wrapped his leg over me and spooned me. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day.

  Chapter 56

  I watched perfection exit our bedroom. He’d been sober for almost two months and looked better than ever with his tousled hair and five o’clock shadow. He’d put on weight and was healthy and radiant again.

  “What are you doing up so early?” Val muttered as he poured himself cup of coffee and dangled an unlit cigarette out of his mouth.

  “Between the acid reflux and my back, I’ve been up all night. I couldn’t get comfortable.” I shrugged. There was nothing I could do except wait it out.

  He leaned across the counter opposite from me. “Only eighteen more days to go.”

  “Don’t remind me. I don’t think I can deal with this if she decides to go into overtime.” I eyed him. “Are you ready for tonight?” The label had switched the release party to New York City, so we were able to be home in case I gave birth early.

  “No need to be ready. I’m always prepared.” He winked. “Do you think you’ll be up to attending?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll be right back. I have to pee.” I stood up and rubbed my belly. It felt as if I would explode at any minute. It ached when I walked, and it ached when I lay down. It ached all the time.

  “Have you dropped?” Val walked into the bathroom.

  “Must you always follow me in?” I laughed at his quirk.