“I don’t wanna talk about it, Mama,” she whispered. The fragile hold she had on her emotions took every bit of her concentrated effort to maintain.
“But you need too. Does it have to do with Ty?” her mom asked, ignoring everything she’d just said.
“Mom…” Kenzie started and dropped all the mail in her hands back down on the counter.
“No, ma’am, start talking. We aren’t doing this again. You keep everything all bottled up. Get to talking before whatever it is blows up,” she said, going around the counter to the back where her barstool sat in front of her register.
“Mom…” Honestly, she’d rather tell her mother that she’d been arrested than talk to her about Ty.
“So you had sex with him last night, and it’s the first time you’ve slept with anyone since Jason. Is that it?” her mother asked point blank. All she could do was blink. She didn’t talk sex with her mother. Besides that awkward facts-of-life discussion, they’d never been like that.
“I’m not comfortable…” she started.
“Kenzie, you’re a grown woman. It’s perfectly normal to do what you did last night. There shouldn’t be any guilt. Sex is a natural behavior between two people.”
“Mom…” Kenzie started again, but stopped herself, dropping her head on top of the stack of mail in defeat. “You’re right. When it happened, it felt right.” After a few seconds pause, Kenzie stiffened her spine and rose, looking at her mother straight in the eye. “I like him, Mom. I do. I like him a lot, but then when I woke up this morning, I just felt wrong. He’s him for God’s sake. He can have any woman he wants and I clearly have a history of picking guys very badly. I guess I felt cheap because there’s zero chance of any kind of future between us,” she explained more for herself than for her mother’s benefit.
“McKenzie, I know you better than anyone. You didn’t feel cheap, because, honey, you’re not a rash person. You made a decision to do what you did. You just got scared. Did you two have a fight?” she asked. Kenzie needed time to process that little bomb of insight. Oh God, her mother was right. She did get scared and that caused her to drop her head on top of the stack of mail again.
“No, Mom, I did much worse than that. I left him sleeping. He didn’t know I bailed,” she said into the counter.
“You left him sleeping? Did you leave a note?’ her mom asked, sounding appalled, which technically did make everything worse.
“Mom, he’s Ty Bateman. He’s not interested in me,” she tried to reason, lifting her head.
“Honey, a man who’s a carnivore doesn’t spend the whole afternoon in a health food store if he’s not interested. I don’t care who he is,” her mother said, maybe a little condescendingly.
“Mom, you’re making it worse!” Kenzie crossed her arms over her chest to help hold herself together. Had she been short-sighted? Could she have hurt his feelings by leaving like she had? Oh God, that was too much to consider. He’d been so nice to her.
“Baby, it’s time to move on with your life. I’ll give you that Jason did a real number on you, but he’s in prison, he can’t hurt you anymore, and I know in my heart those charges against you are gonna be dropped. You need to start living again, baby. You need to see what we all see. You’re beautiful, smart, caring—”
Kenzie stopped her in midsentence with a raised hand. Self-loathing had burrowed in too deep to hear all that again right now.
“I pick really bad men.”
“You picked one bad man. I don’t think Ty’s bad, and I’m not sure you picked him as much as he picked you. I could tell that first day in the store he was worth the time. It’s why I pushed you to go over there.”
“Mom, that’s the thing! He’s not bad, but no matter what happens, this is nothing more than a fling. So maybe he didn’t plan to push me out this morning with an ‘I’ll call you sometime,’ but it’s gonna happen at some point. He’s here for a few weeks to rejuvenate and then he’s gone,” she said defensively.
“You don’t know that. Have you had this conversation with him?”
When had her mother become the voice of reason? Kenzie contemplated her mom’s question and, after a second’s pause, realized she’d only been focused on herself. Over and over she’d talked about her desire to be commitment-free. She truly didn’t know what was on Ty’s mind.
“No, I haven’t, but, Mama, he doesn’t know anything about me. So even if he wanted more, he wouldn’t once he knew the truth. If word got out that he was dating someone up on federal charges… Mama, do you really think someone like Ty Bateman would overlook charges as big as possession, conspiracy, and aiding and abetting a known criminal?”
“Shh, Kenzie. All that’s gonna be dismissed, baby. Have faith in your lawyer. And if it’s such a big problem, then tell him about it. Let him make up his own mind. You owe it to yourself to see what this might be. I haven’t ever seen you so excited to spend time with anyone as you are when you’re getting ready to see that young man.” Her mom pushed off the stool and came to stand right in front of her again. “Baby, you need to listen to me. Follow your heart along with your head this time. And if for no other reason, do this for me. I’ve been worried. You’re going through the motions, pretending everything’s okay, acting happy all the time and I know that’s not the case.”
“I’m gonna mess this up, Mama,” Kenzie said. She leaned forward, laying her forehead on her mother’s shoulder. “I’m not very smart.”
Her mom’s arms wrapped around her and Kenzie felt more than heard her mom’s small chuckle. “That’s one thing you are, honey. This is all our fault. We didn’t really prepare you for the real world. You learned that the hard way, but you’re stronger for it now,” her mom said, patting her back as the front door busted opened, the bells rattling like crazy.
“I knew he’d come,” her mother said so quietly that she had to really think about those words to understand their meaning. Once they processed, Kenzie jerked her head up, flipping around to see Ty coming toward them. His normal casual gait and smile were gone. He looked angry and his eyes focused just on her.
“Hello, Ty,” her mom said, stepping away. Kenzie cut panicked eyes to her mother, shocked to see her already headed toward the back of the store. Out of all the times in her life she needed her mom to stay right there with her, she’d just left? Really?
“Mrs. Stanton,” he said in greeting and came within about a foot of Kenzie. He looked so intense she wasn’t sure she could hold his gaze. In all honesty, she truly hadn’t believed she’d ever see Ty again and hadn’t prepared at all for this moment. “Can we talk?”
“Honey, the workroom’s free,” her mother called out from over in the far corner, as far away from them as she could get and yet still be inside the store.
The only problem, the parental rule books were very clear: her mother was supposed to be on her side. Did she not just see how mad Ty was? Frustrated with this whole thing, Kenzie took off for the back door. If she was going to have this conversation, it wasn’t going to be surrounded by a stinky drain where anyone could hear. Never looking back, she headed toward the barn. The only place she could think to give them some privacy.
More than just the wind had her taking long, fast strides, but he was right on her tail. His hard tone asked, “Are we going to the forest?”
“The barn,” she said, equally as clipped as she turned behind the house. Her father’s old shop came into view. It held all his mechanical equipment as well as everything she used in making her furniture. She opened the door and didn’t hold it for Ty. Instead, she moved as far across the room as she could get, putting the biggest table between them before she turned to face off.
She’d never had to reconcile the hardened business man she’d read so much about and the kind gentleman who focused on pursuing her while getting every door she ever walked through. Her palms grew sweaty, and she reached down, running her hands along her jean-clad thighs as her uncertainty intensified.
~~~
“I figured we did…” He watched her flush as words didn’t come easily, and she began moving her hands, motioning wildly for whatever the hell she couldn’t say. “You know what I’m trying to say. And now it’s over.”
“And why would it be over?” he asked, realizing for the first time that she’d strategically put the stupid worktable between them. He watched as she opened her mouth then closed it, only to open it again. Nothing came out. Ty started around the table to get closer to her, and she moved away from him, circling the other way. That had his brow furrowing. This woman drove him insane. The hot and cold she kept putting out was like whiplash, and after last night, he was done trying to figure her out. Whatever kept her away needed to be dealt with or put aside. He was tired of this game. “We both know last night was more than just a stray fuck.”
He watched her balk at his choice of words, confirming what he already knew; Kenzie didn’t just sleep with any guy who came along. Last night mattered.
“I’m not in a place to make it anything more than just sex.”
“Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure you don’t just do random sex. I’m betting it’s been me and that fucked up ex in your bed; no one else,” he tossed out, hating the fact she could try to belittle what they’d shared last night.
“That doesn’t change the facts. It’s not a good time for me. It needs to be what it was and nothing more,” she said, and Ty moved toward her again. When she did exactly the same as before, he changed his course, and dammit, if she didn’t too. His blood began to boil as he stopped dead in his tracks, placing both palms on the table, staring down at the wood, forcing himself to calm down and think.
Okay, so this secret she held was bigger than he’d thought or at least bigger to her than he’d considered. No amount of making her comfortable seemed to ease her into talking and he had to start a dialog in order to know what the fuck was going on.
“Why isn’t this a good time for you, Kenzie?” he asked carefully, lifting his head to stare her in the eyes.
All she did was stare back at him with worry and begin to shake her head no, so he tried again, taking a slow step toward her, but she rounded away from him. “I’m a mess. You don’t want in this. I promise.”
“No, you’re not. I’ve seen messes. I live with them every day. You aren’t a mess. Whatever problem you have, just tell me. I guarantee I can help,” he said, still moving toward her.
“We’ve only known each other a week. Why in the world would you want to help me?” she asked, her scared gaze still focused on him, her feet keeping pace with him around the table. “God, Ty, normal guys would love the out I just gave you.”
“I have meaningless sex all the time, Kenzie. I don’t need an out because I always do what I want, but last night was different. It mattered to me, and I think it did to you too. I want to see what this is between us,” he tried to explain, forcing his voice to calm. Damn, it was hard to do. He really wanted to rage and demand she stop playing games with his heart.
“We said no commitments!”
Ty stopped moving when he watched her stomp her foot in frustration.
“Have I asked for one?” He waited for her to answer. When she didn’t, he continued, “You liked last night. I know you did. And it freaked you out and you took off. I think it’s not the sex that bothers you, but you haven’t ever felt what you did last night, and it scared you.”
“It didn’t scare me,” she said defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. That eased some of his anger. Her beautiful, indignant pose guaranteed he’d hit the nail on the head with his assumption.
“Yeah, it did and it scared me too. I’m just not willing to throw it away because I don’t understand it,” he explained. All of the anger he’d experienced since finding out she’d left his house this morning began to fade as he stared at her. When he started to move toward her, she darted away again. “For God’s sake, stop moving, Kenzie. You’re running away from me all the damn time, and I just can’t figure out why.”
Surprisingly, she did stop, and he didn’t hesitate; he went straight for her. When he got within arm’s reach, he drew her closer. She extended a hand, placing it on his chest in a move designed to keep space between them, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. He pulled her forward and wrapped both arms around her, hugging her tight. He’d wanted this since he’d woken this morning. “I seriously hated waking up alone.”
Though her body remained stiff in his arms, she finally turned her head to rest her cheek on his chest. “I’m not good at all this. I did freak a little bit.”
“More like a lot,” he replied, running a hand down the length of her ponytail. He recognized this as a pivotal relationship moment, and it didn’t matter what she said, there was an unspoken commitment given last night. “Stop running from me. When you get nervous, come talk to me—no matter what I’m doing. Wake me up if you have to. We’ll figure it out. Got it?”
“Okay,” she said quietly into his jacket. They stood there silently for several long moments with him holding her tightly, but the fisted grip she held his jacket with spoke volumes.
Ty lifted his hand into her hair, tugging the ponytail holder free to let her hair hang loose. “You know, you’re gonna have to tell me what’s going on with you.”
“That’s what my mom said.” Kenzie sighed and finally looked up at him.
“Your mom’s a brilliant woman,” he teased, giving her a smile when he stepped back and fanned her hair out around her shoulders.
“She’d love to hear you say that,” she said and rolled her eyes before pulling away. He tracked her movements as she walked around the shop. She seemed lost in thought.
“This is your work space where you make the chairs?” he asked, trying to find some common ground that didn’t involve sex. When Kenzie stayed quiet, he leaned back against the worktable and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are we gonna be weird now?”
“It seems weird,” she said honestly. She stood across the room, staring openly at him. He figured that was a good sign.
“Then stop. It’s not strange to me at all. I stormed out of the house and drove about halfway here before I remembered the leftovers for lunch. Since I still have all the food at my house, I went back and got them for you. We could heat it up and share if you’re hungry,” he suggested, pushing away from the table and coming to stand about two feet from her, praying she took the bait. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to spend time with her. God, she had his head all fucked up. Not ten minutes ago he was breathing fire; now he just didn’t want to leave her side.
“You brought me food?” she asked, her face changing into something softer.
“I did. I’m a pretty nice guy sometimes. You should get to know me,” he said and went for the door. When he passed by her, he took her hand, pulling her along with him. “Let’s go get it. It’s lunch time.”
“We didn’t use a condom,” she said, walking beside him.
“Any chance you’re on the pill?” he asked, cutting his gaze toward her. It wasn’t like him to go without one. Actually he never had, but he was in way over his head last night. Not an excuse for his actions, merely a statement of fact. It hadn’t occurred to him until the drive over this morning that they’d ignored protection all night long.
“I am for other reasons. I still wanna use a condom.”
“I’m tested regularly. It’s part of my contracts now,” Ty added, just to reassure her. Kenzie intertwined their fingers about halfway to the Jeep.
“I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“Me too. I was dreaming about some really great good-morning sex. It took me a while to realize you weren’t still in the bathroom. Totally ruined my good vibe,” Ty said, chuckling a little
when he looked over to see her blushing.
She was absolutely precious and relief struck him hard. Thank goodness he’d been able to save this. He didn’t want to lose her.
“Ah, Kenzie. I’m in so much trouble with you.”
Chapter 16
The man had absolutely lost his mind, and in return, completely won her parents over—like that had ever even been in question. For approximately the last three hours, they sat side by side on her parents’ old sofa watching television with them. Ty seemed genuinely happy, even adding to the plot-twist discussion of many of her parents’ favorite TV shows. He filled each commercial break with story after story about one of the actors they were watching or something funny that happened on the set. Ty charmed them so completely that her mom decided to pull out a family favorite—the frozen Ms. Smith’s apple pie—and served up hot pie and ice cream at the late hour of nine o’clock at night…on a weekday.
Shockingly, Ty fit so well inside their home it was hard to reconcile him to be the man who had just appeared on a commercial counting down the days to the series premiere of Titan’s Fall. When the advertisement started and Poseidon rose from the sea, Kenzie turned her head back and forth between the screen and Ty, trying to find the common ground between the actor and the man.
“Well, I should probably go,” Ty said when the commercial for the ten o’clock news came on. He pushed forward, placing his empty plate on the coffee table before getting to his feet.
“You don’t have to leave,” her mother said as her father pushed the footrest under his old recliner. Neither of her parents really moved to get up, but their focus turned to Ty as he extended a hand to Kenzie and brought her to her feet.
“I’ve been here all day. I’ve worn out my welcome,” he said, keeping Kenzie’s hand as he pulled her along with him past the coffee table and through the living room.
Acting Happy (Texas Desires #2) Page 16
