by Shaine Lake
“Cya,” he said with a beam on his face.
My heart was beating in a wild and crazy manner. “Bye.” It was the only word I had managed to utter.
I went on to get off the bus. As I was walking to my school, I couldn’t contain the excitement I felt at knowing the guy of my dreams. It seemed so unreal, just like a dream. I pinched the fleshy part of my palm to confirm that it did happen. After pondering for a while on whether to tell Mandy about my encounter, I decided to keep mum about it until I knew Anton better. I could give Mandy a pleasant surprise when I was ready to introduce him to her.
After assembly, my classmates and I marched to our classroom as per our usual morning routine. What was unusual was that the corner girl was nowhere in sight.
***
For the next few days, Anton had been coming up to sit with me whenever we saw each other on the bus. At first, I was worried that he might avoid me on purpose since not many people wanted to be associated with someone like me. Well, he had vanquished my doubts. Maybe he empathized with my plight of being a loner. Based on my demeanour, it was kind of obvious that I had few friends. Even though we only chatted a bit while on the bus, his presence had a calming effect on me. I was unsure if he was the reason for the non-appearance of the ghost, but the fact remained that she didn’t show up again after I had befriended him.
So I was in a considerably good mood since then … until I heard the rumour that had been circulating around the school on a Monday morning.
It caused unrest among the students, and many were discussing about it during the breaks between lessons.
“It’s unfair to us! I enrolled into school because of the EFA program. Otherwise, who wants to study in this stinking old school?” complained Kelly who was sitting on her table and facing Mandy.
I remained seated at my table, listening to their conversation from a distance away. Since that incident, I no longer hung around with Mandy’s group of friends. They might not say it, but I could sense that they were suspecting me to be the culprit who destroyed their artworks. I liked to be alone anyway, so it was fine by me. I was surprised that the girls were flustered by the possibility of Lawson Girls’ High opting out of the Education For All program. It was initiated by the Accastle government in the year 1990, in a bid to promote meritocracy in our society. Thanks to the program, I could get into Lawson, an aided school, based on my grades only and paid the school fees at subsidized rate.
Alice, who was sitting beside Kelly, pointed out, “Maybe the facilities will improve after independence? Donations from those super-rich parents will make huge differences.”
Kelly argued, “But it’s the matter of principles. I’ve the expectations of paying this fixed amount of money for the school fees. All of a sudden, I’m told that I need to pay much more. Irresponsible of them to do this! Should have told us beforehand that they’d this kind of plan in mind. Then I can make an informed decision on which school to get into.”
Mandy appeared to be in a downcast mood. Throughout the break, she was just listening to Kelly and Alice going back and fro about whether it was beneficial for them if the school cut away the support of the government. Why did she feel upset about it? I was the one most adversely affected by that change. How were my parents going to afford the exorbitant school fees? And the school would surely organize lots of fund-raising events when the government no longer funded it. It wasn’t easy to transfer to another reputable school. I was totally screwed.
Squeezing my eyelids shut, I kneaded my temple in frustration. When I opened my eyes, I saw an additional entity standing beside Kelly.
With her side facing me, the corner girl was staring at Mandy. There was a gaping laceration running down the entire length of the ghost’s forearm. The edges of the wound were slathered with blackened blood. The skin there was peeling off to reveal the raw, bleeding flesh underneath, and I could distinctively hear the sickening sounds of the fragile membrane being plied off by gravity.
What had happened to her? What did she want with Mandy? I didn’t want my friend to make a connection with a ghost. It wasn’t pleasant at all, no matter what the girl’s intentions were.
I tried to shout, “Mandy?” It sounded more like a squawk.
Mandy spun around to regard me with a questioning look before excusing herself from the group. Then she walked to my table. “Yeah?”
That apparition hadn’t moved one bit. I ignored her and whispered to Mandy, “You seem out of sorts today.”
She sighed before replying in a hushed tone, “Yeah. I’m deciding between staying put in this school and transferring to Oxland High. If the school fees are going to be the same, might as well go to Oxland.”
“Won’t you miss Kelly and the other girls?”
“That’s the problem. I like you guys.” Then Mandy stared at her feet while mumbling, “I’d put in so much efforts in making new friends here”—she looked up at me—“but I also miss those in my elementary school. Most of them had enrolled in Oxland.”
“Why did you choose this school then?” I doubted that it was because of the lower school fees.
“For the subsidized fees.”
I was shocked by her reply.
She continued in a listless voice, “My dad is just a senior director in a technology company. My mum is a housewife. It’s not easy to maintain our current lifestyle. So I thought I could lessen their burdens by studying in Lawson instead.”
I never knew that a family like Mandy’s needed to be thrifty also.
Wanting to cheer Mandy up, I shelved aside my own worries and said, “I got to know Anton already.”
***
“Morning,” Anton greeted in a hoarse voice when he was near my seat.
“Hi.” I watched him settling down beside me. “Are you alright?” I queried in a hardly audible voice. Actually, he seemed to be off the weather for the past few days.
“A sore throat. Didn’t help that yesterday, I had wasted two hours tutoring my cousin while enduring the pain.” He grimaced in agony.
Feeling awful at the sight of his pain-ridden face, I sprang into action by fishing out my water bottle—good thing that it was blue, my favourite colour, instead of the girlish pink—and offering it to him. “I haven’t drink from this yet … and it had been thoroughly washed.”
He smiled and declined with a shake of his head. “I’ve my own. What I need is no further agitation to my throat.”
“Oh.” I was quite disappointed that he rejected my offer. “It must be tough teaching your cousin.”
“Will not be”—he cleared his throat—“if he bothers to listen. It’s a waste of time talking to someone who’s not listening.”
“You seem to value time a lot.”
He blinked his eyes once and then cocked his head to one side. “Shouldn’t we? All of us are living on borrowed time. Who knows when the lease is up …”
Did something happen to Anton before? His philosophical mindset got to come from somewhere. However, I dared not probe into his private life.
“It’s meaningful.” Those heartfelt words were the only ones I could say aloud at that moment.
“Just my thoughts. I’m glad that you appreciate—” His throat seemed to feel irritable again.
I wanted to scold myself for not bringing along the mint sweets that day. They could help a lot in soothing his ailments. At the same time, I was listing out his possible reactions to my suggestion of introducing Mandy to him. Would he find it a waste of his time?
I braced myself, ready to find out the answer.
Chapter 13 Selflessness?
After analysing the map that was computer-printed on an A4 paper, Mandy rolled it up and told me to follow her. We trekked across the school compound of St. Andrew Institution, past the canteen and down several bright, airy corridors to get to a secluded spot on the fifth floor of a building. It was a clearing with several wooden benches, paired with long tables, dotted around the place. All were unoccupied, except for one
. We were looking for that lone boy there.
I had figured that the best time for Mandy to meet up with Anton was the short break before her gymnastics lessons started. Anton didn’t mind since he would be doing his school work during that timing, thus not interfering with his tight schedule. In addition, I did found out the reason for his tardiness for his gymnastics practices: he made it a point to finish up his school work of the day before moving on to anything else. It helped that his regular hangout place was very quiet, so it would be conducive for them to chat with each other.
Mandy was, of course, excited to talk to him. Watching him from afar and not unable to know him better—those only intensified her pinning for him. I hoped that with the introduction, she could find her happiness, especially after putting behind those worries about the possible rise in school fees.
The students in Lawson’s top classes had petitioned to demand the school fees to remain unchanged after the school was granted independence. The principal yielded to the pressure and announced that the current students would not be affected by the change in status. Thereafter, I was in a more relaxed mood to plan the meeting-up session.
After noticing that we were walking towards him, Anton took a glance at his watch before looking up and smiling warmly.
The moment we reached the table that had notes, books and A4 notepads scattered over it, Mandy extended her hand to Anton. “Hey, I’m Mandy.” Her poise and voice exuded pure confidence.
“Hi.” He took her hand to give a firm handshake. His face had that usual nonchalant expression, and he appeared to have recovered from the sore throat.
I just realized that I had never touched his hand before … much less shake it.
With athletic grace, she went on to settle down on the bench opposite him and prop her elbows on the table. “I saw you practising for quite a number of events. Are you competing in all during the upcoming interschool competitions?”
A smug smile manifested on his visage. “Yes, of course.”
“That’s cool,” Mandy cooed. “Which one are you most confident in getting a gold?”
“Parallel bars,” he answered without hesitation.
As the two were talking about gymnastics—the sports that both of them had great interest in, it dawned upon me that I was an outsider. I wasn’t needed there. My job was done. My presence only hindered the development of their relationship. I had no reason to talk to Anton anymore.
Stinging sensations were crawling into my eyes.
It was time for me to make myself scarce. “Uh, I need to go home now to settle some matters.” I tried so hard to stop my voice from breaking into sobs.
When they looked at me, finally becoming aware that I was still around, I murmured, “So … Bye!”
Mandy waved her hand while saying goodbye to me. Anton bade farewell with an unreadable expression on his face. He must be eager to see me off. I turned away to strut out—well, sort of—of there.
While heading out to the bus stop right outside St. Andrew’s premises, tears pooled around my eyes. My nose was getting stuffy. I bowed down my head, not letting anyone witness my sorry state. I had always assumed that I would be okay with Mandy dating Anton since I had no chance anyway, and she was my friend. Yet it hurt so much when I saw them together. I was just a link—I meant nothing to them, especially Anton. Recalling those memories of the times I had spent with Anton and knowing that those belonged solely to the past already, I couldn’t hold back those tears any longer.
Good thing that my composure only broke down when I reached the bus stop where there was no one else in sight. What would others say if they caught me crying over a boy? Not to mention that I cried over a boy whom I should never dream of being together with in the first place.
I leaned against a lamppost and stared out at the rows of residential buildings on the opposite side of the road, feeling useless and aimless. Then someone stroked my hair gently, as if to console me. It felt comforting to have somebody around for me.
Feeling the delicate fingers running through my hair with tenderness, I didn’t want it to stop. The light brushing slowly became deliberate combing.
“Natalie!”
I got startled by the upbeat and energetic male voice and let out a gasp. My whole body tensed up as I snapped around to see who it was.
The person disturbing my peace was Jareth, who was standing right beside me and scrutinizing my face. “Did you cr—”
I cut off his question, “Just a cold.” Then I looked away. The fierce, cold wind of spring helped to enforce my cooked-up story.
Shouldn’t he be in the gymnasium? The last things I wanted at that moment: to be seen with swollen eyes and reddened nose, and talked to any living soul. I wished for him to take a hike and stop bothering me.
Too bad … instead of getting my hint, he started to take off his school windbreaker. “Here, take my—”
I glared at him in horror. It was then I took note of the bandage wrapped around his left biceps. No way was I going to accept his offer. What if he had gotten sick because he had no gear to protect him from the cold? I would be blamed for it.
“No.” I took two steps away from the guy, avoided any further eye contact with him and proceeded to flag down a bus that was reaching the bus stop.
“It’s okay,” he tried to assure me.
“Thanks. I don’t need it. Bye!” I quickly boarded the bus. Relief rushed over me when I heard the sound of the door closing.
However, that relief was immediately displaced by panic as the bus shifted to the right lane. The bus I had always taken stayed in lane to turn left at the next junction. Standing in the middle of the aisle, I scanned my surroundings with fanatic craze, trying to get my bearings. My mind was in frenzy. Which bus had I gotten onto? Where was it going to?
I thought of getting off at the next bus stop but changed my mind when I saw Jareth’s eyes fixating on the bus I was in. He should just drop the act of being Mr. Friendly or Congeniality when in front of me. Nothing I said, good or bad, would have any effect on his good reputation. Why did he pretend to be nice to outliers like me when he actually despised us? I had enough of that kind of people.
Maybe I should alight at five stops later instead.
The problem was that the bus went onto the highway after the fourth bus stop. It was unnerving for me to sit through the seemingly never-ending journey that was transporting me to a faraway land. Where was the bus taking me to? There was an urge in me to just request the bus driver to let me get off, which was hardly practical. What could I do in the middle of a highway that had nothing else in sight, except barriers, stretches of asphalt, vehicles, road signs, notices, and gigantic bridges spanning over or going under the highway I was on?
All the while, the fidgety and edgy me was standing at the exit door and never stopping to look out for a bus stop ahead. I nearly went hysterical when the bus was inching towards the bus stop in sight. After getting out of the bus, I realized I wasn’t out of troubles yet.
The only thing I knew about the place was its name: Queen’s Street. Wouldn’t even know that if not for a road sign that indicated so. Mandy and Kelly had mentioned that they loved to shop around that area. It looked like a hip and trendy shopping district due to a mix of impressive, enormous shopping complexes with modern architecture and rows of quaint, European styled shop-houses that had the old-school charm. Everything there was so unfamiliar—almost alien. When by myself, I only travelled to and fro school. Thus everywhere else was like scary, unchartered waters to me.
I thought of going to the opposite side of the road to take a bus back to St. Andrew’s Institution. From there, I could easily get home. However, all the roads there were one-way type. Where did they lead to? Which one was the route back? It was scary to take the same bus to go further down the road to find the point where the to-and-fro lanes were side by side to each other. Where could I find the bus that would send me back to the world I was accustomed to?
There were
many people sashaying around the place though I was afraid to ask them for directions. They looked so posh and stylish, to the point of being intimidating. Also, I didn’t want to be laughed at for getting lost. My phone had run out of power, so the option of using the maps to get my bearings was thrown out of the window.
I was standing at the bus stop in daze. Would I be stuck there until I collapsed from hunger and exhaustion? That would be disgraceful. I was alone. Nobody would help me without judging me. I deserved no help either.
I began to have the feeling that I was detached from the real world. Invisible forces cupped over my ears to subject my ear drums to the constant bellowing of the trapped air swirling in the ear canals. All other sounds around me were muted. Living things and inanimate objects—both bled into a mess of pulsating fogs of different colours. Only one individual, standing at few metres away, retained her defined shape.
The corner girl stood out as the only being that I could see clearly. Her side was facing me. Her hair and clothes didn’t flutter one bit in the strong winds, defying what physics had dictated.
She was like the only light amid the surrounding hell, beckoning to me. The only one who could guide me back to my solace … I stumbled towards her. The air around me was getting colder. I craved for her warmth in order to dispel the coldness.
When the distance between us was an arm’s length only, I continued to walk forward while reaching out for her hand, which was hanging limply by her side.
“Stop!”
A grip on my upper arm jerked me backwards. The next moment, a motorcycle sped past … right before me. The sting from being slapped on the face by the rush of air generated by the fast-moving two-wheeler—it felt so painful.
Chapter 14 Nuisance?
I was still somewhat in a state of shock when I boarded the bus, with Jareth behind me. I didn’t understand why I had accepted his offer of help. Maybe I was slightly touched upon hearing his explanation that he took the next bus to find me after noticing that something was wrong with my drastic reactions on the bus. I got lucky that he spotted me through the window of the bus and got out of the vehicle in time to halt my advance towards serious injuries or death.
