by Candice Dow
He shifted in his chair. “And I thought the nice quiet girl was exactly what I needed. Not to mention, Jennifer was biracial and she understood my insecurities.”
I nodded anxiously. He put one finger up as if he was getting to the rest of the story. “Well, all that glitters ain’t gold. And what you see ain’t always what you get. By the time I realized that I loved my ex-girl—”
“The drama queen, right?”
He smiled and nodded, but didn’t really fully acknowledge my sarcasm. “By that time, I was married to the devil and Nicole was a little baby. It all happened too soon.”
“Huh?”
He laughed. “You ever heard of the statement, a wolf in sheep’s clothing?” he hissed. “That was my wife.”
“Why did it take you so long to figure that out?”
“It wasn’t that long.” He paused as if he contemplated telling the rest. “Jennifer got pregnant almost immediately.” He sighed. “And I was raised to do the right thing.” He looked at me as if I had the answer. He huffed. “What is the right thing?”
“It depends.”
“When you’re in your early twenties, you don’t have a clue.”
Anxious to get the full story, I scooted closer. “Why do you say your ex-wife was so sneaky? What did she do?”
“I don’t like to tell the story, because I try to forget it.”
I smiled. “You can tell me. You look like you want to talk about it.”
He huffed. “Almost two years into the marriage, I found out that she set me up. She intentionally got pregnant. She knew that I would marry her if she had my baby.”
That’s the oldest sob story in men’s history. They should know by now how not to get women pregnant. Why is it that we trapped them when we get pregnant? If we’re the ones walking around with a big belly for nine months and eighty percent of the parental responsibility falls on us, who the hell is trapped again?
He laughed. “See, that’s why I don’t tell the story.”
“Go ahead. I’m just messin’ with you. So, how did she trap you?”
“She stuck my condom packets with needles.”
“Devin, don’t play.”
“I swear I’m not lying.”
“How do you know?”
“She admitted it.”
My mouth stretched open. “Are you serious? I don’t believe you.”
“My divorce papers state fraud as the reason. If you want to take a look at them, be my guest.”
See, hookers like that make it bad for good women.
“I love my baby to death and I don’t regret her being here. I just wish I hadn’t married Jennifer. You know?”
He swallowed the last of his drink. The situation was obviously still a sore spot. The waiter sat a refill in front of him.
“So where’s Clark?”
He smirked. “Happily married.”
“Do you think things would have worked for the two of you if it wasn’t for Jennifer?”
He drew in a deep breath. “I dunno. I think about it all the time.”
As I was in the midst of backtracking and righting my own wrong, I sympathized with him. “Do you think you’ll ever let it go?”
“I like to believe that I have.”
“Are you in a relationship now?”
“Nah, I’m a busy man.”
I smiled. “You know that’s an excuse, right?”
With an affirmative nod, he proclaimed, “That’s the truth.”
“How long have you been away from your wife?”
He squinted. “Five years. We’ve been divorced for four.”
“Have you had a serious relationship since your divorce?”
“Ah . . .” He thought momentarily. “I’ve had relationships, but nothing major.” He chuckled. “I’m married to my job and my daughter.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Seriously. I don’t have time.”
“Are you waiting for Clark to get a divorce too?”
“Taylor, no. What kind of man do you think I am?”
I told him that he was human, just like me. Then, I was comfortable enough to give him the brief synopsis of my nineyear regret and how I’d stolen him from his girlfriend. However, I left out the part that she was a live-in girlfriend that still lived with him.
“Wow, that’s amazing. So does he live here?”
I nodded. It was hard for anyone to digest that I had a boyfriend that lived in another state with his ex-girlfriend. You had to be a part of the relationship to really understand.
“He was right in this area all along and you guys never crossed paths.”
“Nope.”
He chuckled. “Taylor, you know you were just taking inventory.”
I squinted. “What?”
“Men have been doing it forever. Every year you take inventory of the people you dated and why you didn’t like them or why it didn’t work. Then, you start convincing yourself that they were really someone you could be with.”
“Yeah, I agree. I’ve taken inventory before. But my relationship now is different.”
“Why?”
I huffed. “Because I always knew it was a mistake.”
“So why did it take nine years for you to pursue it.”
I shrugged my shoulders. He chuckled. “As each year passed and you managed your inventory, he looked more and more like a king.”
“Whatever.”
He softly tapped down my hand that sat propped up defensively blocking his accusation. Then, he smiled. “Let me stop hatin’. Where’s his old girlfriend.”
“History.”
“So, you took him from her in three weeks? That must be real love.”
“Yeah, I think you only get one real love.”
He tilted his head and smiled as if his love story played internally. “You think?”
“Yeah.”
“So, I should go take Clark from her man?” He laughed. “That’s ludicrous.”
“Well it doesn’t work out for everyone.”
He nodded and raised his glass for a toast. “I’m glad it worked out for you.”
Still a tad insecure about the whole thing, I nodded. “Thank you.”
Obviously the Grey Goose had taken over as he began to sing softly. “What if we were wrong about each other? What if you were really made for me? What if we were supposed to be together? Would that not mean anything? What if that was supposed to be my house that you go home to every day? How can you be sure that things are better if you can’t be sure that your heart is still with me?”
My heart reached out to him. Questions and regret filled his eyes. I’d been there. Nine years of blaming myself. He still loved whoever this Clark woman was. His emotions were all too familiar to me. When someone hurts you, you can get over it. But when you hurt someone that you love, you end up six years later, drowning in sorrow and singing Baby Face.
Hoping to lighten the mood, I joked. “You know, Devin, my best friend always says that light liquor makes you emotional. So, maybe you should try something dark.”
“And what do you suggest I try?”
“I’ve actually been drinking Crown Royal lately. It’s smooth and keeps your emotions in order,” I said, laughing.
“You’re trippin’. I’m not emotional, but I’ll give Crown Royal a try and see how it makes me feel.”
“I hope it helps you get over your ex-girl,” I teased.
“I’m definitely over it, but I guess I’m still looking for that high. You know?”
“Yeah, I know, but do you think it happens when you’re over thirty?”
“I dunno. But if it doesn’t, I’m comfortable being a single man.”
I wasn’t convinced. His eyes told a different story, one of a man holding on to the past, with lost hope for the future, and burying himself in meaningless tasks. I nodded. He continued to attempt to convince me. “I spent the majority of my young years tied down. So, I’m really okay with being alone.”
I raise
d one eyebrow and asked, “Really?”
He laughed. “Yes, Dr. Phil.”
“I’m just curious, because I’ve been there.” I shook my head. “For nine years.”
“So I have a few years left to wallow in my misery.”
I shook my head. “No. You just need to forgive yourself.”
35
DEVIN
Taylor and I left the restaurant, heading for the MCI Center. It had been such a long time since I’d had good conversation with a woman that I found attractive. She was what every man was looking for. She possessed the right balance between beauty and brains. She tipped a nine on both scales. Her humor was an added bonus. It’s just my luck that I meet someone who stimulates both sides of the brain and she’s taken. Whoever the dude is who landed her is a lucky man.
We trotted over to the arena, and I subconsciously reached for her hand. She offered it freely. Her peaceful smile made me smile. Who would ever think that Taylor Jabowski was a beautiful black woman with so much personality? Based on the details of her situation, it seemed like four weeks ago I could have still stuck my foot in the door.
When we got into the game, we walked down to our floor seats. Taylor kidded. “We ballin’ y’all.”
“Yeah, we ballin’.”
Once the game began, it slipped my mind that I was here with a chick. She was standing up, making calls, getting emotional. We slapped high fives. I couldn’t stop thinking, Taylor Jabowski.
I got two 32-oz. cups of beer from the concession stand. Instead of whining about it being too much or how she hates beer, she wiggled in her chair and cheered “Hey!”
She raised her cup and we toasted. She said, “To forgiveness.”
That hit home because I’d been in the process of purging my negative feelings toward Jennifer. I nodded. “To forgiveness.”
She gulped her drink. It was the sexiest thing I’d seen in a long time. I studied her. When she pulled the cup down, she looked at me. “Whatchu doing?”
I smiled. “Watching you.”
She smirked. Then, she started singing, “If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, c’mon baby let me know.”
She giggled. I just looked at her without cracking a smile. My intense stare forced her to pause. Our gaze connected. She turned her head to end the attraction.
We focused on the game and she didn’t try me again. She stood up and cheered. I pretty much sat in my seat and admired her from behind, beside, and between. During commercial breaks, the music played and she danced. Hanging out with her was money well spent. Suddenly, I looked up and our faces were on the big screen. I pointed. She covered her face. Our one second of stardom felt like an eternity. So that I didn’t look like a sucker, I reached over and moved her hands from her face and kissed her. Her head rested helplessly in my hands, as we continued to kiss. When the feeling resonated with her, she pulled back and glared at me.
“I’m sorry, Taylor. The camera made me do it.”
She smirked. “Yeah, right.”
“Don’t be mad at me.”
“I know not to hang out in a public place with you anymore.”
“Does that mean we can still hang out?”
She folded her arms. “I’ll keep you posted.”
When the game was over, I didn’t want to part. She was apprehensive as well. We both said, “Okay.”
“All right then.”
“All right.”
“I had a great time.”
“We have to do this again.”
I wanted to invite her over to my empty place, but I decided against it. This was the best date I’d been on since I’ve been single. After walking Taylor to her car, I skipped back to mine. Though she was taken, I was hopeful. Good women aren’t extinct. Maybe Jennifer was right, nothing good would come as long as I harbored bitterness toward her.
36
TAYLOR
I’d finally figured out what people meant by someone taking their breath away. I sat in my car holding mine. Devin Patterson had kidnapped it. As I even imagined how I wanted to be a great stepmom to his beautiful little girl, I knew I’d lost my mind. This man has baggage. He’s bitter. That’s too much for me to handle. I looked at the clock. 11:22 P.M. Would it be inconsiderate to call Scooter now?
Instead, I called Courtney. “Girl, why do I love ‘I Love My People’?”
She cracked up. “I told you he was fine.”
“Fine is a damn understatement. I don’t remember him looking like that.”
She laughed. “Whatever. You better start paying better attention to your surroundings.”
“How about it?”
“I would do him.”
“Would I?”
“Are you?”
“Nah, he has too many things going on. He’s back and forth to New York. He’s in love with his girlfriend before his wife. He’s mad at his wife. You know the fine ones all have issues.”
“I can’t say you’re lying.”
I chuckled. “Plus, I got a man.”
“Taylor, don’t play with me. When he moves out, then you’ll have a man. For now, don’t tell me that bullshit.”
“You’ll be the first person I call when he moves out.”
When I got to work the next day, I floated on a cloud. I wasn’t sure who I was thinking about. I was just happy. Katherine came into my office. She smirked. “Hey, boo.”
She waited for me to tell her that Devin was an asshole as were most of my dates. I frowned. She covered her face. “Oh no. What did he do? Did he say something stupid?”
I said. “Girl.”
“C’mon Taylor. What happened?”
“We had a ball.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, actually we had a great time.”
My work phone rang. “Taylor Jabowski.”
“I missed you last night.”
I put him on hold and told Katherine I’d give her the details later. I picked up. “I missed you, too.”
“How was dinner?”
My eyes shifted back and forth. “Uh, it was good.”
“I hoped to hear from you when you got in.”
“I’m sorry. It got late. We actually went to the Wizards game. Courtney’s job gave her tickets.”
Taylor, what the hell are you thinking? That was definitely a fumble. I shrugged my shoulders. He chuckled. “I’m jealous.”
“Don’t be. Of course it was no fun without you.”
He laughed. “You’re a trip. I can’t wait to see you.”
“You just left me two days ago.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ah, nothing.”
He laughed. “I’m off on Friday. I may drive down there post-call on Thursday.”
“Is that too much?”
He chuckled. “Baby, I feel like I live in Iraq. Ain’t nothing too much. Talking to you is like peace in the Middle East.”
I laughed. “Scooter, you’re crazy.”
“I’m dead serious. Your voice keeps me focused.”
I sighed. Why did I feel guilty? He was living in hell for me and I was out footloose and fancy free with some stranger with issues.
“It’ll be worth it in the end,” I told him.
“I know. It’s just getting there.”
After listening to Devin’s sob story last night, I offered him a bit of advice. “It may seem hard now, but nothing is worse than marrying the wrong person.”
“Why do you think I’m going through with this? This definitely ain’t the easy route.” He chuckled. “I’ve tried to stop plenty of my boys from making the same mistake that I was about to make.”
“Aren’t you glad I caught you before you fell?”
He chuckled. “Damn straight.”
Katherine showed up at my door with a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. I smiled and mouthed, “For me?”
She nodded. I blushed. For some reason, I knew they weren’t from Scooter. She walked over to my desk; I gestured for her to take t
he card out. She smirked. I put my index finger over my mouth. She giggled and slapped my hand down. She mouthed, “I’m not stupid.”
Devin jumped off of the little card before any of the other words. Scooter called my name. I turned my attention away from my admirer. “Yeah, baby.”
“I’m getting paged. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Devin’s message said: Thanks for a wonderful night on the town. Your man is very lucky. I hope he knows it.
Katherine snatched the card. She put her hand on her hip. “Taylor, I am disappointed in you. You told his fine ass that you have a man. Have you lost your mind?”
“No. I do have a man.”
“Taylor Jabowski. You have officially fell off.”
I nodded. How was she using my lingo on me? I laughed. “Katherine, you’re a mess.”
I sent Devin an e-mail telling him I enjoyed myself as well and thanking him for the wonderful flowers. He responded very briefly. He was obviously not trying to push the envelope with someone who claimed someone else.
I decided to sit the flowers on the receptionist’s desk. I didn’t need a constant reminder of Devin staring me in my face.
37
DEVIN
I waited to hear from Taylor for two months after she sent that bullshit thank you message. As I sat in her building, I contemplated going up to her office. I tapped my pen on the conference table. Her pretty smile kept popping up on the projector. Why wasn’t the old lady in this meeting?
We were finished meeting by twelve, so I asked one of the union guys if he knew Taylor Jabowski. He kidded. “Of course. Everyone knows Taylor.”
“She’s a friend of mine. Could you show me where she sits?”
“Sure.” He looked at his watch. “I hope she isn’t out to lunch.”
We walked into her office spaces. He pointed. “Her office is right there.”
“Thank you so much.”
I nervously stood in her doorway. I’d never been flat-out rejected that way. I sent my signature flowers, and still she disappeared. She cackled on the phone.
