“Oh, what, so I can’t just call to catch up? I have to have a reason?” Crystal was on a roll. “You know, sometimes I call my friends just to catch up, just because, to see what they’re doing. And we’re supposed to be friends, now, right? That’s what you said.”
Joshua knew there was no point in arguing. Either end the conversation or apologize for something you didn’t do wrong. Or both. It was the kind of no-win situation Joshua often found himself in when he lived with her, and he was sick of it.
“Hey, Crystal, sorry about that,” Joshua started, an edge to his voice. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I’ve been doing great, thanks for asking. Got an apartment downtown and got a dog, his name is Aussie. I’m still at Imitech and still working on the new pacemaker project, since you were wondering. So, it was great to catch up with you, good luck on your majors, and I’ll see you around.”
Smug from the slap in the face he’d just delivered, Joshua was about to click his phone off—too bad I don’t have the old-fashioned kind I can slam—when he heard something.
“Wait—Josh. Please. I do need a little favor. Please. Josh?”
Nailed it. Now what does she want?
“I’m here,” he said quietly. His body was tense, torn between the satisfaction of cutting her off and the instinct to help her anyway. She was a good person, if an irresponsible, annoying, self-centered person. And Crystal was the closest thing he had to family.
And that means you put up with a lot of shit.
“Well, you know Thor?” Crystal said hopefully, referring to the ancient red Volvo wagon she’d named after the god of thunder after it lost its muffler. “Thor’s not doing so good. She’s got some problems when I try to go—I press down the gas and she lurches forward a little, but doesn’t move fast—like the pedal’s not connecting. It freaks me out when I’m trying to accelerate into traffic and Thor doesn’t go like she should.”
“You mean you’re still driving it—her—like that? Are you crazy?”
“Um, it’s not like I have a lot of options, Josh. And I can’t afford a mechanic right now, I just paid for books for next term, you know? So I was wondering …”
Her pause left Joshua ample room to volunteer.
He did not.
“Could you come over and take a look at Thor? Please? I’m sure it’s not something really complicated; it’s got to be simple, right? Just a hose that came loose? Could you come and check it out?”
Crystal might be needy, but she had been solid when the foundations of his life slid out from under him; when his family moved away; when his brothers got in trouble. And Joshua hated to admit that his ex was still the person who knew him the longest and best.
“I’m coming over.”
***
“Have one.” Crystal set a beer on the roof of the car, but Joshua didn’t look up. One cheap beer was not a decent payment for a mechanic who made house calls.
“When did you say was the last time you changed the oil on this car?” Joshua asked again.
“Three or four months ago, I think,” Crystal hedged. “Or five. I don’t really remember without the little stickers.”
“And you don’t have a sticker because Jiffy Josh doesn’t give them out.” Joshua didn’t miss working on Crystal’s car, especially since she didn’t take good care of it. Even though his Porsche’s exterior looked as if it had been tumbled in a barrel of nails, he was meticulous with its engine.
Joshua wiped his hands on a rag and took a swig of beer. “So here’s the good news: I fixed the problem with your accelerator, and it really wasn’t anything major, but I’ll spare you the details.” Crystal would tune them out anyway.
“The bad news is that you’ve let your car get pretty mucky—its oil, transmission fluid, and air filter are all just gross. I’d fix them but I know you’d just let it go again, so I’m tempted to send you to a shop that will charge you real money so you’d appreciate what it takes to keep up your car.”
“Josh! No! That’s so unfair. Especially since you can just do a few little things and presto—good as new,” Crystal whined. “Please? Please help Thor.”
Joshua knew it was an argument he wouldn’t win, which is why he’d already changed most of the fluids with those left over in the garage from the last time he’d worked on Crystal’s car. He admitted as much, tightened the caps and wiped up the last of the grease from his project.
“I’m beat. You should be good to go.” It was past nine and Joshua was ready to head home, a stack of bills still waiting for his attention. He grabbed the beer and took a long drink.
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Crystal effused, and threw her arms around his neck. It startled him to his core—the muscles in his chest and arms reflexively wrapped around her, remembering their intimacy and a relationship that stretched, off and on, over more than a decade.
“Mmm, you smell like sweat,” she said, and left her face buried close to his neck. From her, a patchouli-wearing, hemp-soap-using razor-avoiding hippie, it was a compliment. She moved her body to fit closer into the curve of his hips. He held her carefully, as if she might burn him, still clutching the beer in one hand.
After a moment, she pulled her head back, leaving her arms around Joshua’s neck. Her face was inches from his and he could smell curry spice on her breath.
This breakup was mutual, right?
She looked up at him, searching.
“I’ve missed you, you know. And not just for the car thing. That was great—really—I needed your help. But I’ve missed you here, being with you.” Crystal’s voice lowered. “It’s like we’ve always been together, even when we’re not.”
Crystal pressed herself closer, her breasts heavy against him. Joshua’s lids felt heavy and his chest stirred, pulling him closer to her. There was an easy comfort in their connection. He couldn’t help but remember being with her, tangled up on their rock-hard futon in crazy tie-dyed sheets. Him looking every inch the clean-shaven Young Republican, and Crystal the performance artist who designed her own tattoos.
It was sensual. It was … voluptuous. Like eating too-ripe fruit when the juice runs down your chin.
“I think the Universe is trying to say something,” Crystal went on. “You know, that we should be together.” He tensed, and she felt it. “Not like that. We don’t have to get back together. You don’t have to move back in. But it’s late, and I missed you. Maybe we could be together tonight?”
The question hung in the damp, musty air of the garage. Joshua knew what she was offering, and he was tempted. It had been a long time—longer than it had been for Crystal’s car—since they were together. For the last two months he lived here, Joshua slept on the couch, at least on nights when Crystal hadn’t already offered it to an itinerant friend.
Crystal slid her hands under his T-shirt and her teeth grazed his collarbone. He felt his body respond, betraying him. His hand grasped her shoulder, halfway between caressing and pushing her away.
“Crystal,” Josh started gently—too gently, as she brought her lips closer to his—“this is not a good idea. We’re not dating, and I should really get home.” She took a step back, pouting, hurt. “Thanks for the beer though.”
“So we’re not dating, and that’s your reason, huh?” Crystal pounced. “What does that mean, that you’re dating someone else now?”
Exasperated, Joshua blew out his breath, lifting the hair on his forehead. He put his empty beer bottle down too hard and the loud clank echoed in the garage.
“No, I mean it doesn’t matter if I’m dating, that’s not why I’m not going to sleep with you,” Joshua articulated, pivoting his body to put more space between them. “I’m going home because it’s over, we’re over, and I’m done with this little favor and all future favors for you and Thor, OK? We broke up, I moved out, and now both of us should move on.”
Crystal reeled as if she’d been slapped. Never in their relationship had Joshua been so direct, so forceful. Her eyes narrowed with suspici
on.
“So you are dating someone. Isn’t that it? That’s why you don’t want me, because you’ve moved on to greener pastures? Is that it, you’re screwing her?”
Joshua hated that Crystal could twist a simple comment into something so ugly. “No, that’s not it. I’m not having sex with her.”
“So there is a her,” Crystal’s tone was bitter. “What’s her name? So you’re dating and you just haven’t gotten around to sealing the deal, is that it? Or she won’t put out?”
Joshua felt defeated. He had to get out of there. “There’s a girl. I like her. I’m not sleeping with her or any of the sordid things you’re going to say. I’m just spending time with her. That’s what they call dating, Crys. And I don’t know if we’ll do any of the things you imagine we’re doing already, but I can tell you one thing—I’m a hell of a lot more likely to do them with her than with you.”
Joshua stormed out of the garage. He slammed his car door and revved the engine, shifting and tearing away from the curb as if pursued by demons.
And he was—pursued by the memories of their relationship, the good and the bad, the memories he couldn’t shake, the permanence he feared letting go.
Why did I have to say that? Joshua’s thoughts cleared and his heart rate settled on the drive home. She made me an offer I refused. I don’t need to be mean about it. I don’t need to rub it in. It’s true, she was baiting me about Melina, but she’s probably more curious than anything.
She’s probably jealous. Or lonely. Whatever her problem, I’ll probably patch it up eventually. Stay friends. Crystal never stays mad for long.
Joshua pulled into his parking garage and headed up to his apartment to take Aussie on a short, weary third walk. They moved through the city streets, Joshua’s mind replaying what he’d said about Melina. There was something there, something between them that made Joshua want more.
He pulled his mobile out of his pocket. It was after ten, probably too late to call Melina.
If she really likes you, she won’t be mad. Do it anyway.
THIRTEEN
“So, I had an idea,” Joshua said, not bothering to announce himself or apologize for calling late.
Melina tucked the phone under her chin while perched in front of her mirror, plucking a few invisible blonde hairs from her arched brows. “Joshua? Isn’t it kind of late?”
“It’s never too late for a good idea.”
“You know what I mean. Late at night.”
“You were up. What’s the problem? I was inspired.”
Joshua’s upbeat mood was contagious, so Melina played along. “OK, Picasso. What was the source of your inspiration?”
“That thingy in the sky. You know what I mean, right? Big and yellow and bright? I haven’t seen it for so many months I’ve forgotten what it’s called.”
“The sun?” Melina asked. “Too bad it isn’t warming us up.”
“Just because it’s still cold outside doesn’t mean it’s not a good start,” Joshua said. “The last place I lived before Washington was Phoenix, and I miss it when we’re racking up gray days by the dozen. Anyway, the forecast inspired me to go to the beach. With you.”
“You have got to be kidding,” Melina snorted. “I’ll wear jeans for your other crazy date ideas, but it’s not even April yet. And I’m not taking a swim in Puget Sound—it’s frigid.”
“Don’t worry—I won’t make you,” Joshua said, undeterred. “I was just thinking that since it isn’t pouring, we should go to the beach with Aussie. My dog. He likes to fetch, and he doesn’t care how cold the water is.”
“Wait a sec, back up. Who is this? Your dog? You never told me about him.” Melina suddenly felt left out. How could I have missed something that simple? What else don’t I know about Joshua?
“You never asked,” Joshua answered, not accusing. “I wasn’t sure whether you were a pet person, so I figured we’d talk about it if it was important to you. It’s important to me. Now, I mean. I just got Aussie a few months ago.”
Melina considered her response. On one hand, she always envisioned having a dog eventually. Maybe a honey-colored cocker spaniel, with its coat groomed to a shine. Something small enough to handle, and totally obedient.
Another image flashed in her mind, torn from the pages of a magazine—a glossy golden retriever lounging on the porch of a classic Craftsman-style home.
A dog wouldn’t be so bad. I could learn to like a dog. As long as it isn’t too big or hairy. As long as it keeps its tongue to itself.
***
Melina slowed her car to a purr, following a narrow road shaded by dense trees that Joshua said would lead to the beach. It was Saturday morning and the weather forecast, for once, was accurate. Rain had not yet returned to shoo Seattleites back indoors.
She pulled her coupe up to the tiny beach lot where only a handful of cars were parked. No sign of a glossy new Porsche, though there was a gray, pockmarked Carrera, easily forty years old. Melina would have missed that clunker entirely except for its telltale slope-backed body style.
“Melina! Hey!” Beyond piles of driftwood, Joshua stood at the water’s edge and launched a stick in the air. A massive, hairy, soaking wet dog bounded after it.
That monster must be Aussie. Melina’s heart sank as she picked her way over logs to join Joshua on the pebbly shoreline.
Cheerfully oblivious to Melina’s darkening mood, Aussie ran up to sniff his new friend. His wet nose connected with her rear; she brushed him away. He took a step back and shook his coat with all his might. Water exploded in all directions.
“Ugh! Dog! I really didn’t want a second shower this morning,” Melina complained.
“Don’t worry.” Joshua laughed it off. “Aussie will make you want a third.” He thrust a stick into her hands. “Here. You want him to be your friend forever? Throw that.”
Melina wasn’t sure she wanted the shaggy mutt to be her friend, but she obediently tossed the stick. As if struck by lightning, the dog arched and zoomed toward it, picking it up with a sense of purpose unmatched by most humans.
Aussie trotted back with the stick, head held high. He stopped two feet from Melina and whined.
“Take the stick. He wants you to throw it again.”
“I’m not touching it! It’s all slobbery.” Melina wrinkled her nose. Dog spit was not something she anticipated on their trip to the beach.
Aussie dropped the stick on coarse sand at her feet. His expressive eyes looked up mournfully, as if she’d wounded his pride. He cocked his head, then laid down, resting his snout on his front paws. Melina was still, watching. Then Aussie broke the spell by wiggling his eyebrows, one at time.
Melina’s sour expression softened. “No fair using puppy dog eyes on me,” she accused. She picked up the stick and hurled it twice as far this time, then wiped a gummy palm on her jeans.
“Sucker.” Joshua cracked a grin and Melina couldn’t help but smile back. Aussie was good.
Maybe this isn’t a designer dog, but he’s smart. He fits Joshua, unpretentious and clever. I’ll bet he even gets to sleep on the bed, gross as that is.
Aussie bounded back, water streaming off his legs. He dropped the stick in front of Melina, then reared around and tensed, prepared to spring forward the minute she made the next throw.
“I hope you’re going to help me with this,” Melina said after Aussie took off like a shot.
“I am! I’ve been here nearly half an hour trying to tire him out so he wouldn’t be so bouncy when you met him,” Joshua said. “He’s really enthusiastic about new people.”
Joshua steered them on a long stroll down the shoreline, taking turns throwing the stick to send Aussie down the beach or into the water.
Melina spotted few people and enjoyed the relative privacy such a short drive from the central city. Although the sun was bright, a chilly wind blew off the sound, biting through her jacket.
Joshua skipped several steps ahead to grab the stick and toss it as far as possib
le into the frigid water that Aussie met with total enthusiasm. Then he stopped short and turned, wrapping his arm around Melina’s shoulder as if he sensed her chill. The two were silent for a minute, watching the dog swim back, his breath whooshing out from behind the stick as he swam.
This is fun, Melina realized. It’s a nothing date—we’re not doing anything, like going out to eat or seeing a movie or even driving those silly race cars. She liked spending time with Joshua, not just for what they did together, but also for the simple fact that they were together.
Aussie bounced up to them, flopping the stick at Melina’s feet. It was her turn to throw.
“Good dog,” she told him. “Good fetch, Aussie.” She bent down to his eye level, patting him on his wet head.
Aussie looked right into her face and took advantage of the situation. Slurp! His long tongue reached Melina’s lips and managed to get most of her open mouth.
“Augh! Eww!” Melina recoiled, twisting away from Aussie’s wagging tongue. She ran her palms over her tongue, desperately wiping the dog spit out of her mouth. “Sick! That is so sick! I can’t believe your dog just licked me!” Melina’s face was red and her hair flew in several directions as she recovered from Aussie’s tongue-kiss attack.
Joshua exploded with laughter. “That’s what dogs do, Melina.” Seeing Melina’s grimace, he struggled for a serious expression. “He likes you. I guess he just couldn’t help but show it.”
Melina looked rumpled and grumpy and ridiculous. To Joshua, she’d never looked better.
***
As they turned back toward the parking lot, Melina tucked herself into the nook of Joshua’s arm. A niggling doubt, a loose end that had been pecking at the edges of her mind all morning finally surfaced.
“Joshua, where’s your car?”
“In the parking lot. You walked right by it.”
“No, I didn’t. You told me you drive a Porsche.”
“Yeah, I do, a Carrera. It’s the gray one—the one that looks like it’s been through a war, and lost.”
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