by Chloe Walsh
Finding a bravery I only seemed to have when he was with me, I pulled myself up on my elbows and whispered, "I want you to finish what you started."
The blue in his eyes darkened, and the smile he was wearing turned almost feral, as he grabbed my thighs and dragged my body closer to his. "I always finish what I start." Resting his weight on one elbow, he hovered above my body, with his lips so close to mine that I could feel his breath. "But we're not going there." He pressed a drugging kiss to my lips before burying his face in my neck. "Not yet." Nuzzling my neck, he pressed a trail of hot, wet kisses up my neck, his tongue sweeping out to taste me, to claim me with leisurely swipes that I felt in every nerve ending in my body. Nestling between my legs, he didn’t make any further move, he just continued to kiss me with hot swiping flicks of his tongue, destroying me with his weight alone.
"Really?" I practically cried as my fingers dug into the hard ridges of his waist. "You're sure?"
Groaning, Johnny nodded. "I'm sure." His hand moved from my hair to my hip, shifting our bodies into the perfect alignment, and the move caused a moan to tear from my throat. He responded to my small gasp of surprised pleasure with a low growl of approval of his own. "But I can do other things for you." He brushed his lips against mine almost lovingly before pulling back to gauge my reaction. "If you want me to?"
My pulse skyrocketed and I blew out a ragged breath, nodding up at him.
His eyes blazed with heat as he lowered his lips to mine. "I promise I'll make you feel good," he whispered between kisses. "Just tell me if you don't want it, or if I'm moving too fast and I'll stop, okay?"
"Don't stop," I strangled out, hands shooting out to clutch his shoulders. "Please."
Johnny chuckled softly. "I haven't started yet."
"I don't care," I breathed. "Don't ever stop."
Rearing back on his knees once more, Johnny stared down at me. Breathing hard and fast, I remained on my back, overloaded with adrenalin and lust, as I watched him watch me for the longest time. The anticipation of the unknown was making me feel faint and all I wanted to do was drag him back down on top of me, but I stopped myself, knowing that I had no clue of how to progress from here, just that I desperately wanted to.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, with a small shake of his head. "Jesus." Trailing a finger over my cheek, he leaned down and kissed me. His hand trailed down my neck, moving lower and lower until his thumb brushed over my nipple. "I love you," he whispered, and then he was cupping my breast in his hand, gently stroking his thumb over the fabric of my dress as my nipple hardened to the point of being painful. "Is this okay?" he asked against my lips as he continued to touch me.
"Johnny – " Shivering violently, I arched into his touch, kissing him almost frantically. "So much okay."
His hand moved lower, fingers grazing over my hipbone, before his hand settled on the front of my knickers. "What about this?" Stroking his nose against mine, he slipped his hand inside my underwear and cupped me there. "Is this okay?"
My body jerked beneath him, hips bucking, and I nodded like a mad person. "Don't stop."
Exhaling a ragged breath, he slipped his tongue into my mouth at the same time he slid one finger inside me.
Careful not to moan too loudly and alert his Mam as to what we were getting up to in his bedroom, I let my legs fall open, welcoming his touch, as I plastered my lips to his, clinging to his broad shoulders for all I was worth as I shuddered beneath him.
"I want you," he growled into my mouth, as he worked his finger inside me, moving slowly, in and out, deep and drugging. "More than I've ever wanted anyone in my entire life." Kissing me hard, he pulled out only to push a second finger inside me. "Fuck, you're so wet, baby." Trembling, I clung to him, bucking my hips excitedly. "So fucking tight… shite, is this okay?"
"It's okay, Johnny, it's okay," I practically screamed as I dragged his lips back to mine, bucking my body in encouragement. "Just stop asking stupid questions and keep going!"
Chuckling against my lips, Johnny crooked his fingers, doing something inside of my body that was entirely unfamiliar but oh so welcome. I felt a tightening sensation in my core as a blast of white-hot heat crept up my body. It was a feeling that I wanted to chase down, some basic, primal instinct inside of me demanding I do so.
Bucking my hips, I moved against his hand, hunting down that feeling. His lips came down on mine, muffling my cries, as he moved his fingers faster inside of me, taking me further, pushing my body to the point of no return.
Helpless to sensation, I clutched his broad shoulders and clung to him, trusting him with everything I had inside of me. When his tongue entered my mouth, sweeping over mine with the same rhythm as his fingers, I couldn’t hold on, or else, I just couldn't hold back. Whatever it was, it felt like I was crashing over a cliff. I couldn’t explain it but my body went lax and I jolted violently beneath him as what I could only describe as ripples of ecstasy shot through my body.
"Jesus," I cried out, tearing my lips from his as my entire body jerked violently. "What's happening – oh my god!"
"Shh," he coaxed, kissing my neck. "Just ride it out." He suckled on my neck. "Enjoy it."
"Uh." Clenching my eyes shut, I allowed myself to absorb what I was feeling. "Okay…"
"You like that, Shan?" he whispered in my ear, pumping his fingers in and out, prolonging the seizure induced pleasure wrecking me. "Coming on my fingers?" He kissed me again, harder this time. "Because I fucking love it."
Oh my god…
When I finally stopped shaking, Johnny slid his fingers out of me, and I thought he was going to roll off me, but he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed my hips and settled between my legs once again, rocking his hips against me, causing another blast of tingling shockwaves to erupt inside of me. I could feel his erection pressing against me; so hard it was terrifying. The friction from his jeans as he ground his body against mine was too much. Crying out, I slipped my hands into the waistband of his jeans and pulled him closer, wanting with everything I had to just fall into this boy and never come back out again.
Johnny grabbed my hands and dragged them above my head, holding both of my hands down on the pillow above my head with one of his. His free hand moved to my hip as he continued to grind against me, lips fused together, his tongue massaging mine with almost wild, uncontrolled, lust-filled thrusts. Gasping against his lips, I hooked my legs around his waist, moving with him instinctively with every thrust of his hips.
Bang, bang, bang…
"Johnny!" Mrs. Kavanagh's voice came from the other side of the door as another loud knock sounded. "I thought I told you to keep this door open."
My eyes sprang open in horror and I froze. "Oh my god."
"Jesus Christ," Johnny groaned, breaking the kiss with a panting breath. Roughly clearing his throat, he called out, "We're watching the bleeding film, Ma!"
"Well, now I'm up here, you can open the door and let me see you," his mother called back.
"Give me a minute!" Rolling off me, Johnny flopped onto his stomach and muttered a string of curses into the duvet before climbing off the bed. "I'm sorry about her," he grumbled as he watched me scramble off the bed and readjust my clothes.
"It's fine," I choked out, feeling mortified as I pushed down my dress and straightened my ponytail. "Don't worry about it."
"Hey – you okay?" he asked, watching me with concern. "Shan?"
"I'm just…" I looked around his room and shrugged helplessly. "I don't know how to act now." Clasping my hands together, I gestured to his bed and sighed. "I'm…embarrassed."
Johnny smirked and closed the space between us. "Was it okay?" he asked, voice low and husky, as he smoothed a hand over my hair and tipped my chin up. "What I did…did you like it?"
I nodded, cheeks reddening. "Yeah."
"Then don't be shy with me," he whispered, stroking my chin with his thumb. "And don't be embarrassed, either. I love you, okay?"
"I love you, too," I whispered, buryi
ng my face in his chest.
"The door, Jonathon!" Mrs. Kavanagh barked, knocking repeatedly on the other side of the door. "Now!"
"All right," Johnny roared back. "Jesus Christ, I'm coming, Ma!"
"That's what I'm afraid of," his mother shot back. "Now open up."
41
Slamming Doors
Johnny
Yeah, I was in trouble. The girl sitting in the passenger seat of my car was proof of that.
Shannon's phone was blowing up – had been for the past twenty minutes. I knew I was going to get the blame for keeping her out tonight, I knew I was going to get threatened, I knew a million other disastrous things would be waiting for me once I pulled onto her street, but I couldn't find it in me to worry. Screw worrying, I was fucking delighted with myself.
My uneventful Saturday had somehow morphed into Saturday night with my girlfriend on her back, and my fingers inside her. Jesus Christ, the sounds she made when she came around me would haunt me.
I didn't want to give her back, but I also didn't want to make her suffer the third degree from my mother. I went too far tonight. I knew it, but I couldn't regret it, because she was just…mind-blowing. Honest to god, I was in so far with her that I knew I would drown. They might as well lock me up now, because I was done for.
Shannon's knees were bopping restlessly as she stared out the windscreen of the car, watching the other cars whizz past us. I wanted to put her at ease, but I had no way of doing that. It wasn't like I was going to be invited inside for tea and biscuits when I walked her to the door. More like threats and handcuffs.
"I hope Joey's home," Shannon said, dragging me from my thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Joey," she repeated, cracking her knuckles. "I really hope he's at home."
Reaching over, I took one of her hands in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She was trembling and it was making me feel murderous. "He'll be there," I told her, praying like hell that I was right. For reasons I would never fully understand, Shannon was close to Joey. In her mindset, he was as good as a god. I didn't ask too much about it because I was scared of the answers. Some of the things she had told me about her childhood terrified me. I didn't want to hear about what they had endured because I didn't trust my reactions. It was the worst feeling in the world, feeling helpless, and I didn't cope well with helplessness. Thinking about how that was exactly how Shannon had felt for most of her life made my chest constrict.
The minute I pulled up outside the house of fucking horrors and cut the engine, the sound of screaming filled my ears. Jesus, what was wrong with their neighbors? I could hear the carnage from the garden wall.
"Uh…" Swallowing deeply, Shannon tucked her hair behind her ears and moved to unfasten her seatbelt. "Thanks for a great evening." She gave me a bright smile and reached for the carrier bag she had placed in my car earlier. "I had the best time, Johnny."
"Whoa, stop – " I reached over and closed the car door she had opened. "Don't do that."
"Don't do what?"
"Pretend we're both deaf and can't hear what's going on inside that house."
Shannon sagged in her seat. "I don't know what to say." She pressed a hand to her forehead. "It's nothing out of the usual for us." Sighing heavily, she added, "It's probably because of me." She glanced over at the house and then down at her lap. "Because I went out."
Yeah, fuck that.
Unfastening my seatbelt, I climbed out of the car and walked around to her side. "What are you doing?" Shannon asked, looking all panicked, as she scrambled out of the car with her bag fisted tightly in her small hand. "Johnny?"
"I'm walking you to your door," I told her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. "And I'm making sure you're okay."
"I'm okay," she hurried to say.
"And I want to make sure you stay that way," I told her as I took her hand in mine. "So, let's go."
Shannon was a bundle of nerves as we walked to her house. By the time we reached the front door, she was visibly shaking. "Thanks for staying," she said in a small voice before pushing the door inwards.
"Anytime," I replied gruffly, but my response was swallowed up by the loud shouting that greeted us.
"Where the hell were you?" Darren demanded, stalking from the kitchen towards us. His eyes shifted from Shannon to me and his feet faltered.
Leaning against the doorframe, I folded my arms across my chest and stared back at him.
Yeah, I'm here, fucker.
"I went to Claire's," Shannon explained, stepping inside and dropping her carrier bag on the floor. "Why are you all shouting?"
"Shannon!" Her mother strangled out, rushing from the kitchen. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" Shannon replied, tone harder than I was used to hearing. "I went for a walk to my friend's house. There's no law against it, Mam."
Pride roared to life inside of me.
Go on, baby. Don't let them push you around.
"And where does he fit into this walk?" her mother demanded, slurring her words a little. "And those clothes?"
I arched a brow and studied her closer. Bleary eyed, swaying from side to side, and slurring her words. Christ, she was hammered. I squinted my eyes, taking her measure. Or is she high?
"Are you drunk?" Shannon asked, voicing my thoughts aloud.
"No," her mother strangled out. "I'm after my tablets."
High, I mentally confirmed. High as a kite on valium or some other sedative by the looks of it.
"Where are your kids?" The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to filter them. Three pairs of eyes landed on my face, and being the absolute glutton for punishment that I was, I decided to go with it. "Tadhg, Ollie, and Sean."
"My children are in bed," Mrs. Lynch hissed, glaring daggers at me. "Which is exactly where Shannon should be."
"Shannon's not a child," I replied, forcing myself to speak and not roar at this woman like I so badly wanted to. I had a feeling she didn't work on the same frequency as the rest of us and shouting was the only way to get through to her, but I refrained. "She's going on seventeen. She is her own person, with her own friends, and her own mind, and you need to step back and stop trying to smother her in your fucked-up attempt to make up for not protecting her when she actually needed you to."
"Excuse me?" Mrs. Lynch choked out, clutching her chest.
"You heard me," I told her. "You were shouting and roaring so loud, we could hear you from the street. You have the gall to throw shit at her while you're off your face on tablets with three small children upstairs?" I shook my head. "You're a disgrace."
"Back the fuck off, Johnny!" Darren snarled. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"I know a lot more than you think," I sneered. "And you're all quick to judge me, when not one of you are in the position to throw stones."
"Johnny," Shannon croaked out, eyes wide. "It's okay."
"It's not okay, Shan," I said gruffly. "It needed to be said."
"Get off my property, or I'll have you done for trespassing." Shannon's mother warned before bursting into tears and running back into the kitchen. I felt a smidgen of guilt rush through me, but not enough to take back what I had said. The truth had a bitch of a sting to it sometimes.
"You heard her," Darren said coldly, glaring at me. "And don't come back around here, Johnny."
"Darren," Shannon strangled out. "Don't say that."
Another Lynch popped up then, but this one came from behind me. "Kav," Joey acknowledged in a friendly enough tone as he strolled up the overgrown path in a pair of mechanic overalls, face covered in grease, and a plastic lunchbox dangling from his hand. He slapped a hand on my shoulder as he passed by. "Causing more shit?"
"The usual amount," I replied evenly.
"I bet," he mused. "Alright, Shan." Ruffling her ponytail, he roughly shoved Darren out of his way. "You coming in or are you just going to stand there leaving the cold out?"
"It's the heat out," I muttered.
"Maybe in your house," he shot back, not missing a beat, before disappearing into the kitchen.
"He's not coming in here," I heard his mother scream from the kitchen. "Tell him to leave!"
"Christ, could you give it five minutes before you start the crying." A cupboard door slammed and Joey's voice filled my ears again. "I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I just got off work."
"Go home," Darren said before closing the door in my face.
The door swung back open seconds later and Shannon popped her head out. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, eyes laced with pain. "I love you –"
"Shannon, get in here!"
"Bye, Johnny."
And then the door slammed shut in my face again.
42
Crisis Averted. Everyone Breathe
Shannon
"Why did you do that?" I demanded, furious, as I glared at Mam and Darren. "He was just dropping me home."
"Look at the cut of you," Mam choked out. "Going out dressed like that."
"There's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing," I shot back defiantly.
Mam's face reddened. "You look like a –"
"Whore?" I offered. "Thanks, Dad."
Mam flinched and dropped her head in her hands.
I rolled my eyes, too furious to deal with her waterworks right now. "You were both horrible," I hissed, focusing on Darren. "You just shut the door in his face!"
"Can you blame me?" Darren growled. "You heard how he spoke to Mam."
"He was telling the truth," I spat, blinking back the traitorous tears that were pooling in my eyes. "And you know it!"
"And you wonder why this family has a bad reputation," Joey mused around bites of a ham sandwich. "Shan's right." He took a swig from his can of coke. "That was rude as fuck."
"Our family has a bad reputation because you can't keep yourself out of trouble, so don't you start giving me shit," Darren shot back angrily. "I know you were suspended from school again yesterday for fighting. Your principal called me, Joey. What was it this time? Some lad said something you didn't like so you go ahead and puck the head off him?"
