by Jessica Ashe
He’d remember it, and so would I. The top floor of the building was a large open space which had probably once been a large attic, but now had a small archway and a modest amount of chairs for guests. Technically, we could have just sat down at a table, said a few words and signed the paperwork, but Ellie had insisted we at least make it look vaguely like a real wedding. Neither Sophia nor I had put up much of a fight. That still surprised me.
I blocked out the noise—I mean singing—and focused on Sophia as she appeared at the top of the stairs and walked towards me. Regardless of my feelings for marriage, I couldn’t help but be moved at the sight of her walking slowly in that dress with Ellie and Dani picking up the rear.
It’s not real, I reminded myself. It’s a legal requirement, and it means nothing.
So why was I nervous? Grooms were supposed to be nervous on their wedding days, but that was because they were in love. And stupid. The two usually went hand in hand.
“Please join hands,” the registrar said. I took Sophia’s hands in mine. It had been many years since the act of holding hands had ever been a thing to set my heart racing, but that’s what was happening now. “George, we’ll start with you. Please repeat after me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sophia
It was all over in three minutes. A bit like the night I lost my virginity, except not as painful and my friends hadn’t been watching that night. I hoped not, anyway.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “We’re married?”
“Not quite,” the registrar explained. “You still need to sign a paper to make it all legal.”
He ushered us over to a table in the corner where the paperwork lay out ready for us to sign. This bit scared me more than the ceremony. Ellie and Dani putting on a fuss had been so over-the-top for the occasion, that I’d found the entire thing more comical than serious. Until I’d reached the altar, at least.
The second George took his hands in mine, my heart started fluttering wildly and inconsistently, and I suddenly felt rather nauseous. I told myself it wasn’t real again and again, but when I’d had to repeat the vows to George, they’d sounded real enough.
But then it had all ended. Now there was just the simple matter of committing fraud as the first step towards getting a visa to live in England. None of this seemed to bother Ellie and Dani, who happily signed the document as witnesses to this whole affair.
“Okay, congratulations,” the registrar said. “You are now husband and wife.”
“Photo time,” Ellie screamed loudly. “Get together you two. Sophia, kiss him on the cheek.”
I pressed my lips up to George’s cheek, but made sure not to actually make a kissing motion. If there was no noise it wasn’t a real kiss.
“George, do the same to Sophia.”
George placed his lips on mine, but there was definitely a noise this time.
“Come on,” Dani pleaded. “You’re not cousins. Look like you care.”
George squeezed up close to me and placed his hand on my thigh. It would have been an innocent enough gesture between husband and wife, but I felt like he shouldn’t be touching me that way in public. Contact from George sent a heat coursing through my body, and made me want to be somewhere private. No doubt I’d be bright red in this photo.
Our lips touched and we held the pose for five seconds while Ellie and Dani took photos. This time it was definitely a kiss.
Ten minutes ago, I’d been a single lady—now I was officially married to a man who would soon be recognized as a prince. That made me a woman about to be confirmed as a princess. It was a lot to take in for an American girl from a small town in California.
George and I walked down the stairs hand-in-hand, and headed straight to a small park across the street. I stuck to the path because my heels would be instantly lost in the grass, and I’d end up on my ass in no time at all. Going commando, that could be a big problem.
“I need to go make a quick call,” George said. “See you soon, wifey.” He smiled awkwardly and kissed me on the cheek, before disappearing around the corner.
“I can’t believe someone’s made an honest woman out of you,” Ellie joked.
“I don’t know if ‘honest’ is the best word to use, given the circumstances.”
“Good point. But I’m still jealous.”
“There’s nothing to be jealous about,” I insisted. “We’ll be divorced in six months.”
“I hope you’re at least going to enjoy your wedding night,” Dani said. “You can’t let a man like that go to waste. I don’t know about the whole fraudulent visa thing, but I know that not screwing George would be criminal.”
“She’s right,” Ellie added. “Besides, isn’t it a legal requirement to consummate the marriage?”
“I very much doubt it. Look, I didn’t mind you making a big deal of the wedding, but now we need to get back to normality. I’m still a student with coursework to complete.”
“Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that,” Dani said. “You’re going to be a public figure. There’s no way you can just go back to living a normal life now. There will be parties, fundraisers, art galleries to open, and all that other bullshit.”
“You make being a princess sound difficult,” Ellie said.
“It is,” Dani replied. “I wouldn’t do it. I enjoy my freedom too much. I want to be able to shag who I want, when I want. I definitely don’t want the press recording my every move. Mind you, for George I would be tempted.”
“That’s why George doesn’t want to become a prince,” I pointed out. “He enjoys his freedom.” Which for him, meant screwing as many women as possible. For some reason, I couldn’t get all that excited about helping him achieve that particular goal.
“You’ll still have freedom,” Ellie said. “It’s not like it was in the olden days. Royals are just celebrities, really. Sure, it’s a bitch to have no privacy, but you’re also rich and famous. That has to be good.”
“You’re forgetting that this is temporary. It’ll be over before you know it.”
“All the more reason to enjoy those six months of fame. Speaking of which, when are you going to come out as a married couple? You won’t be able to keep this secret for long. Someone’s going to tip off the press.”
“I think that’s what George is discussing now with his friend. I guess this means I’m going to have to tell my mom soon.”
“You haven’t told your Mom?” Ellie screeched. “My God, she’s going to go mad.”
“Yep, probably. We haven’t spoken that much lately. She was furious at me for walking out on the wedding. The last one. There was lots of screaming and yelling, and we never really made up. We weren’t that close to begin with.”
“That sucks,” Dani said.
Dani and her mom were like sisters. Just a few days after I’d met Dani, I’d overheard her having a really explicit conversation about a couple of guys she’d slept with in the last month. I turned red just listening to the details, but I practically keeled over in shock when she said “bye, Mom” at the end.
Mom and I were nowhere near that close, and I didn’t have any siblings. After the incident with Stan, I didn’t have many friends either—not ones I could count on anyway. Ellie and Dani more than made up for it though. Better to have two great friends than ten average ones.
“Are you both heading back to school now?” I asked the girls.
“It’s university, not school,” Ellie corrected. “You make us sound like sixteen year olds.”
“I still don’t understand the difference, but whatever.”
“I guess we should head back,” Ellie said. “I’m getting hungry. Turns out being maid of honor is enough to work up an appetite.”
“George suggested we all get lunch together if you fancy it?”
“We could go to the pub on the corner?” Dani suggested. “They do a great roast.”
“The cocktail selection sucks though,” Ellie pointed out.
“True.”
Ellie and Dani looked at each other and shook their heads. “You really haven’t adapted to the British way of life yet, have you?” Ellie asked. “Pubs open at eleven in the morning for a reason.”
“Alright,” I said, holding up my hands. “But let’s go somewhere nice. George is paying.”
“Oh, well why didn’t you say so,” Dani replied. “I know just the place.”
“I thought you might. I’ll go hurry George up.”
George had disappeared from sight, but he couldn’t have gone far. I hobbled over as quickly as I could in my high heels, and saw him standing on the corner of the park with his back to me.
I slowed to a walk and called out his name, but he didn’t hear me. He sounded like he was finishing up his conversation anyway.
“Let me know what she says,” George said to the person on the other end of the phone. “Good news, or bad news, I want to know.”
I stood back to let him end the call. It was a bit early to be a nagging wife demanding all his time and attention.
He muttered something else incomprehensible into the phone, and then a few more words that I did catch.
“Okay, speak to you soon, Tabitha. Love you. Bye.”
Chapter Sixteen
George
The news of our marriage had leaked out before we’d even left the pub after lunch. Ellie and Dani had jumped in a taxi to get back to university, but Sophia and I fled home where—despite me offering—we did not get to consummate the marriage.
Sophia attempted to go to class once, but the media chaos stopped her even getting close to the lecture hall. After that, the university doubled down on security, but Sophia decided to take some time off from her studies. She’d catch up easily enough.
The media eventually moved on from the shock of my existence, and started debating what the hell was going to happen to the order of succession. The consensus was that the current royal family were fucked. My claim was valid, and I could easily prove it with a DNA test.
Right now, there was a Queen on the throne likely quite concerned about the need to move house soon, and a Prince and Princess watching their future disappear down the drain. They had every reason to hate me, and yet for some reason we got an invitation to dinner at Clarence House.
I would have declined, but Sophia got hold of the invitation and insisted we attend. At least it was another excuse to see her in a formal dress again. That was worth a night spent talking to the royals I was about to usurp.
* * *
If I were ever King, the first thing I’d do is cut down on the eleven layers of security it took to enter a building. It seemed fucking rude in my book to invite someone to your house and then treat them like criminals on the way in.
Not to mention, one of the guards had the nerve to put his hands on Sophia. I hadn’t even done that yet. Not recently, anyway.
If the ride from the airport had taken one minute longer, I wouldn’t have been responsible for my actions. The dark blue silk clung to her body enough that I could picture her completely naked. The dress was nearly entirely backless, revealing a part of her I hadn’t seen yet, but as usual, it was the legs that had me captivated.
Had I always been a leg man? I certainly was where Sophia was concerned. Perhaps standing all day for work was a good way to keep the legs toned. It certainly hadn’t done her any harm.
The dinner turned out to be a rather intimate affair, but that was just fine with me. Just Prince Stuart and his younger sister, Princess Mary. Plus about twenty servants.
“I’m afraid Mother couldn’t make it,’ Stuart said, referring to the Queen. “Well, that’s not quite true. She could, but she thought it would be inappropriate to meet at this stage.”
“No problem,” I replied. As much as I liked to play it cool, meeting the Prince and Princess had set off a few butterflies in my stomach. Meeting the Queen would have been something else entirely.
I probably shouldn’t be here anyway, but Sophia and I agreed it would be best to keep the appointment. We wanted to look like a normal couple for the time being, and normal couples wouldn’t turn down trips to meet the royal family. Besides, if my plan went wrong, I might still need to play the part of a prince for a bit. That thought held less appeal with each passing minute.
We all sat down at a table that was far too large for just the four of us. A servant appeared over my shoulder to pour wine. Not exactly my drink of choice, but perhaps it was a little early for whiskey.
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Mary said.
“Same,” I replied briefly.
“I love your dress,” Sophia said enthusiastically. I was used to American accents, but tonight her accent stood out a mile in a place where even the servants spoke the Queen’s English. It just made me want her even more.
“Thank you,” Mary replied. “Yours is absolutely divine. Mother would never let me wear something so risqué.”
“To be honest, neither would mine,” Sophia admitted. “She’ll have a fit when she sees me on television later.”
Mary immediately warmed to Sophia, although she looked like she hadn’t spoken to a ‘normal’ person in years. When Mary found out Sophia was from California, she asked her if she’d “bumped into” any celebrities. I opened my mouth to point out that California was actually bigger than the UK; you didn’t just ‘bump into’ celebrities on a regular basis. I decided against it. I’d already displaced her in line for the throne; no need to make her look stupid as well.
“I’d love to meet Jennifer Lawrence,” Sophia admitted, after Mary had asked her what the Oscars were like. “I suppose I’ll be able to do that now.”
“I’ve met her,” I said, the words slipping out before my brain could stop them.
“When?” Sophia asked.
“Uh, nevermind. Story for another time perhaps.”
Butlers came out and served us the first course to save me any further questions on that topic.
“Start from the outside in,” I whispered to Sophia, who looked confused by all the cutlery choices.
“How do you know all this stuff?” she asked.
“Must be in the genes.”
Stuart must have overheard because he suddenly turned red and looked distinctly uncomfortable. He’d been calm all evening, but it wouldn’t have escaped his notice that I stood to push him down the pecking order.
“We should probably deal with the large elephant in the room,” Stuart said. “I want you to know that you won’t have any issues at our end if you want to stake your claim to the throne.”
“Thanks,” I replied. Stake my claim? This felt like an episode of Game of Thrones.
“Unfortunately mother is insisting on a blood test before anything is definite. After all, there’s no conclusive proof at the moment.”
“I believe it though,” Mary added quickly. “Uncle Michael always did have a reputation for… that sort of thing.”
“A blood test is fine with me.”
Frankly I wouldn’t completely believe it myself until I saw scientific proof. It just didn’t seem possible that I was related to these people. Mind you, I looked like part of the family compared to Sophia. She even ate like an American.
I smiled watching her cutting up her food into pieces before moving the fork to her right hand to eat.
“What are you laughing at?” she asked softly.
“No reason. I just think you’re adorable.”
“I am adorable, and don’t you forget it mister.”
“Impossible,” I replied. “Absolutely impossible.”
* * *
“We’ve prepared the largest guest room for the two of you,” Jeeves said, as he showed us to our room. That had to be his name. If it wasn’t, I’d make him change it when he worked for me.
“Thank you,” Sophia said before darting into the room. I’d seen women in a rush to get into the bedroom before, but the
y were usually dragging me through with them. “Oh thank God for that,” she yelled, as I closed the door.
“You didn’t enjoy dinner?”
“Yeah, dinner was fine. I just need to get out of these shoes. My feet are killing me.”
“Come here.” I took her hand and dragged her over to the armchair in the corner. “Sit,” I commanded.
She didn’t so much sit as fall, but she ended up in the armchair anyway. I grabbed another chair and sat down by her legs, so that she could rest her feet on my lap.
“If you think you’re going to get me into bed with a foot massage,” Sophia said, as I took hold of her feet, “you have another thing coming. I’m not some innocent young… oh shit, that feels good.”
She moaned sensually as I pressed my thumbs firmly into the arches of her foot and pushed up to the toes.
“Good job we have some privacy,” I said, as Sophia squirmed on the chair as if my fingers were a lot higher up her leg. “So, you’ve just met a prince and princess. How do you feel?”
Sophia lay back on the chair with her eyes closed, still purring gently as I rubbed her feet. “Not all that different actually. I am engaged to the heir to the throne after all. These people are insignificant by comparison.”
“These people? Oh God, I’ve created a monster.”
“A monster with sore feet. Now do the other one please.”
I took hold of Sophia’s other foot and squeezed the heel with my thumbs. Would it be completely wrong to kiss her feet? And then her calves? And then work up her thighs until I could taste the sweet goodness between her legs?
“You know, I’m getting rather uncomfortable in this dress as well,” Sophia said softly.
“You want to go to bed now?”
“No. I just want you to get me out of this dress.”
Chapter Seventeen
