by Lynn Hagen
Mason felt torn, but he had no choice but to leave Jordan in Wildfire while he figured out how to get out of the mess he was in.
Jordan wished he hadn’t told Cory they’d hang out. He’d had so much fun with Mason that he didn’t want the evening to end. Jordan had even gone to the drugstore earlier and bought supplies—just in case things got hot and heavy between them again.
So much for taking things slow. Jordan once again prayed he wasn’t making a big mistake by going full-speed ahead.
Now he stood at the curb outside his apartment building. Mason leaned against his Jeep and pulled Jordan between the apex of his legs. His hands slid up Jordan’s sides as they gazed into each other’s eyes. “I had a nice time this evening.”
He was amazed at how deep his feelings for Mason had grown. That also scared Jordan. He wasn’t supposed to fall for the guy, but it had happened whether he wanted it to or not.
Mason nodded. “It was a nice night, Jordan. I had fun being with you.” He shook his head. “More than just fun.”
All evening Jordan had felt as though Mason wanted to ask him something. But the question never came and Jordan didn’t push the matter.
Mason cupped Jordan’s nape and pulled him in for a kiss. Jordan loved kissing him, loved how he smelled, how he could feel the thundering beat of Mason’s heart under his hands.
Jordan was left panting when Mason pulled away. “I could hang with Cory tomorrow.”
Mason’s thumbs caressed Jordan’s sides, sending spirals of lust through his body. “Did you make a promise?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can’t go back on your word.”
“He’d understand.”
Mason shook his head. “Even if he did, your word is your bond. You make a promise, you keep it.”
Jordan leaned in closer and pressed his lips to the shell of Mason’s ear. “I bought condoms and lube.”
Mason’s grip on Jordan’s sides tightened. His breathing grew shallow, then his hold relaxed. “You’re a walking temptation.”
“How much am I tempting you?” Jordan teased.
“Not tonight.” Mason drew him in for another kiss.
From the bulge pressing into Jordan’s stomach, he knew Mason was rock-hard. Jordan ground into it, gasping and moaning with desperation. He was also becoming very frustrated. They could finally take their relationship to the next level tonight, but Mason was holding Jordan to a promise he’d made.
Jordan leaned back, licking his lips as he stared into Mason’s eyes. “Take me to the lake. I’ll still have plenty of time afterward to spend with Cory.”
Mason looked at the apartment building before his gaze slid back to Jordan. “Okay.”
The moon hung like a fingernail in the sky. The sound of crickets lit up the night as they walked down the path that led to the lake. Jordan had a small brown paper bag curled in his hand, and Mason knew the condoms and lube were inside.
The entire walk Mason cursed himself for being such a fool. It would’ve been better if he’d left without knowing the feel of Jordan’s body, without making what he had to do even harder.
Come morning, Mason would be gone, and the guilt and regret were already eating him alive.
“Just so you know, I’m not keen on coming to a place where you spent time with another man.”
Jordan laughed. “Max? You shouldn’t be jealous of him. We’re just friends. And besides, I had my underwear on the entire time.”
Mason had a blanket tucked under his arm. When they reached the small dock, he spread the blanket out over the soft grass next to it.
Jordan dropped the bag next to the blanket and started undressing. “Tonight would be the perfect time to swim.”
Within seconds Jordan was naked and jumping off the dock into the glistening, moon-lit water. Mason chuckled as he surfaced and swam. He undressed and joined Jordan, splashing around, picking Jordan up and tossing him, listening to the man’s squeals of delight as Mason’s heart broke.
Leaving Jordan would be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. His head told him it had to be done, but his heart didn’t agree.
They spent the next half hour swimming and playing. Mason couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so carefree. It was as if they were suspended in time, in their own private world, as if all his problems had simply melted away. Mason didn’t want this night to end.
He groaned when Jordan swam to shore, the water sparkling over his tanned physique as he climbed out. Jordan stood there wiping the water from his hair with his hand, the moonlight glittering off the droplets cascading down his body.
Jordan chuckled as Mason came out of the water. “You look like the Hulk emerging from the depths, ready to conquer the world.”
Mason flexed his muscles, showing off a bit. “The only thing I want to conquer is you.”
“That was so corny.” Jordan grinned as he dropped to the blanket and tucked his arms behind his head, a peaceful smile on his face. “I needed that swim.”
For a brief moment, all Mason could do was stare at Jordan’s perfection. He committed this moment to memory—committed how erotic Jordan looked lying there, wet, the moonlight on him, and the sounds of nature all around them.
Mason stretched out beside Jordan, turned on his side, and pulled his lover close. He slid his hand over Jordan’s bare chest, mapping out his rigid lines as he stared into Jordan’s light brown eyes.
Jordan’s smile widened. “You gonna kiss me?”
Mason curled their fingers together. The words I love you were on the tip of his tongue, but he bit them back. He’d already left one mess behind in Baltimore. Mason didn’t need to leave another in Wildfire.
But it might already be too late. From the adoring way Jordan looked at him, a mess seemed inevitable.
“Ask me nicely,” Mason teased.
“For a kiss?”
“Yep.”
Jordan licked a path over Mason’s nipple, then sucked the pebbled flesh into his mouth, biting down gently. Mason hissed as he dropped to his back. Jordan turned onto his side, lapping and sucking as his hand snaked down to Mason’s hard cock.
“Was that asking nicely?” Jordan stroked Mason’s erection a few times, gazing at Mason with need in his eyes.
Mason pushed Jordan onto his back. He hovered over his lover, gliding his lips over Jordan’s neck. Their cocks brushed together as Mason used his knees to spread Jordan’s legs.
“Hang on.” Jordan reached into the brown paper bag and extracted a small bottle of lube. He handed it to Mason, and Mason’s heart squeezed when Jordan blushed. He looked so innocent, so trusting as he lay there waiting for Mason to take him.
What the hell am I doing? How can I make love to him when I know I have to leave him? I’m a rotten bastard who deserves to fry in hell.
“Mason?” Jordan caressed Mason’s jaw, and the war waging inside him vanished.
“I’m right here, hon.” He lubed his hand before tossing the bottle aside. Jordan spread his legs, and Mason slid his fingers down the crease of Jordan’s ass. He circled Jordan’s hole as his lover groaned and tried to impale himself.
Mason kissed Jordan’s chest right over his heart as he sank two digits deep, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as the tight heat clamped around his fingers.
Jordan hissed as his hands curled around Mason’s biceps, his nails digging into Mason’s flesh. His features were pinched as he panted.
“Sorry.” But Mason didn’t stop. He scissored his fingers, stretching Jordan as he kissed around his lover’s neck, then took his mouth in a passion-filled kiss.
Jordan writhed as he fucked Mason’s fingers. Mason added a third, and Jordan arched his back, moaning.
Damn if Jordan wasn’t the most gorgeous man Mason had ever seen. But he shut his thoughts down when they drifted toward a possible life with Jordan, to finding the happiness Mason had always dreamed of, had always craved.
That wouldn’t be their fate. Not when Mason kn
ew the agency would come after him. Not when he had to protect Jordan at all costs.
Even if that cost was Mason’s heart.
Chapter Seven
Every touch felt as if lightning were heating his blood. Jordan was going insane with need as Mason kissed along his jaw and his neck, and sucked at his Adam’s apple. If Mason didn’t bury himself inside Jordan soon, things would be over before they even started. He reached for the brown bag as Mason sucked at one of Jordan’s nipples.
Mason didn’t tease Jordan about being so impatient. His lover looked as though he was on the very edge himself. He grabbed the condom from Jordan and sheathed his own cock before looking into Jordan’s eyes and saying, “You’re pure temptation, sweetheart.”
Jordan hooked his hands behind his knees and pulled his legs to his chest. “I need you inside me.”
Mason hesitated. He stared down at Jordan with uncertainty in his eyes. Was he having second thoughts? But then his heated gaze slid Jordan and became riveted on the most intimate part of Jordan’s body. He scooted closer, the head of his cock kissing Jordan’s pulsing hole.
Right before Mason sank balls-deep, he locked gazes with Jordan. He swore he saw regret, and a touch of sadness, in Mason’s eyes before he gripped the back of Jordan’s legs and moved inside of him.
“Aw, fuck.” Jordan moved his head from side to side, sucking in a deep breath as Mason’s length stretched him wide. A slight breeze skidded over Jordan’s heated skin as he wrapped his legs around Mason’s waist.
Mason closed his eyes. His lips parted. His jaw clenched. He looked as though he was already fighting for control. He dropped forward, planting his hands on either side of Jordan’s head as his arms quivered.
“Don’t.” Jordan kissed along Mason’s jaw.
Mason asked without opening his eyes. “Don’t what?”
“Hold back. Give me everything you have.” Jordan wanted Mason to let loose on him, to move heaven and earth as they made love. Jordan had no idea why, but he felt as though Mason was saying goodbye. That was insane, but Jordan couldn’t shake the feeling.
With a vibrating growl, Mason reared back and shoved Jordan’s legs forward until Jordan was nearly bent in half. His lover had a wild, hungry look in his eyes as he thrust deep and fast.
This was exactly what Jordan wanted. He threw back his head and cried out, clawing at the blanket as Mason fucked him so hard that his bones shook.
“Yes!” Jordan shouted as Mason kept up his fast and hard pace, his cock pistoning into Jordan’s ass. He thrashed under Mason, jerking his hips upward, trying to match his lover’s pounding rhythm.
Mason’s gaze lowered from Jordan’s face to where they were connected, his blue eyes darkening.
The buildup came too fast. It was too much. Jordan snagged Mason’s neck and pulled him close. Their lips collided and their tongues tangled as Jordan carded his fingers through Mason’s hair, yanking at the short strands.
Then Mason slowed, his hips swiveling. He took the kiss even deeper. When he pulled back, his reverent gaze stole Jordan’s very breath.
You’ve already lost your heart to him. What will you do when this all falls apart? Because it will. You know it will.
Jordan shoved at Mason’s chest. “Let me up.”
Mason looked at him in confusion. When he pulled out, Jordan flipped to his hands and knees. This position was about as impersonal as sex could get. He couldn’t let himself fall any deeper in love than he already was. Jordan had to find a way to break away emotionally from Mason. He had to get his heart back. Jordan’s thoughts scattered when Mason slid back inside him.
Instead of Mason going slow, the sex became wild, crazy-good, just the way Jordan wanted it to be, needed it to be. He forced himself to think that this was nothing more than two people scratching an itch.
“Shit.” Mason gripped Jordan’s hips harder, his nails biting into Jordan’s skin. Jordan rocked on his hands and knees, shuddering as he grabbed his cock, trying to keep balanced as he jerked himself off.
“Right there, baby. Right there,” Mason said seconds before he drove his cock deep, stiffening as he grunted his release.
Jordan nearly cried in frustration when his climax wouldn’t come. He finally released his cock and slammed his fist into the ground, cursing.
Mason eased out of Jordan’s body. He tied off the condom and set it aside. “Let me help you.”
Jordan was panting, embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to come. “It doesn’t matter.” In his attempt to emotionally detach himself from Mason, he’d wound himself too tight, stopping the explosion of pleasure that should’ve taken him under.
“It matters to me.” Mason turned Jordan onto his back and settled between his legs. Jordan stared down at Mason, his heart thumping wildly as Mason took Jordan’s cock into his mouth.
Jordan’s spread his legs, closed his eyes, and just let go. He forgot his need to keep Mason at arm’s length, forgot about the feeling that Mason was saying goodbye, forgot about everything as he threw himself into the moment.
Mason worked Jordan’s cock with his mouth and hands until Jordan was crying out, jerking with his orgasm.
He collapsed against the blanket and stared up at the stars as Mason got up and dressed. Jordan wanted to say something, to tell Mason his inability to come while Mason was inside him had nothing to do with his lover’s skills.
But he said nothing. He felt Mason emotionally pulling away. But he’d already felt that before they’d made love.
Still, he felt as if he should say something, but when a guy’s ego was bruised, sometimes the best course of actions was to give him his space.
That was exactly what Jordan planned to do. Besides, Jordan needed time to get his own head together. Things were happening too fast. Although he loved every moment he’d spent with Mason, he needed to make some decisions. Flip-flopping back and forth wasn’t fair to either of them.
When Mason dropped him off at his apartment, Jordan stood on the sidewalk, feeling as if his heart were breaking as he watched Mason’s taillights fade into the darkness.
Jordan drove to Mason’s house the following morning. They needed to talk. Jordan didn’t like things strained between them. Egos be damned, they were gonna get things settled.
You should leave things as they are. Isn’t this what you wanted? No strings attached—no one falling in love with you so you don’t destroy another life?
Jordan slowed at the thoughts whispering through his head. This would be the perfect opportunity to cut all ties with Mason. He could make the excuse that things just weren’t working out.
But that would be a lie.
And as much as Jordan wanted to leave, he was never one to run from his problems. Maybe it was high time he laid it all out for Mason and let Mason know why he was so hesitant.
When Jordan stepped into the backyard, he found it empty. He half hoped Mason would be standing out there while the dogs ran around. It was too early for Mason to have gone into work, unless an emergency had come up.
He wasn’t sure if he should just walk right in or knock. Normally, he wouldn’t have thought anything of waltzing right in, but after the emotional fiasco last night, he decided to knock.
Wally ran to the glass, his tail wagging so fast he should’ve taken off from the ground. His tongue hung out as he pranced in place.
Next Buster came, barking as he hopped up and placed his front paws on the glass of the door.
“Where’s Daddy?” Jordan asked in a playful tone.
Wally howled and ran in a circle before scratching at the glass. He wanted to get to Jordan.
“Why are you guys making such a racket?”
Jordan’s heart sped when he heard Mason’s deep voice. He appeared from around a corner and slowed when he saw Jordan. Time seemed suspended as they simply stared at one another.
Jordan shoved his hands into his front pockets as his shoulders sagged. He wasn’t sure if he was about to get the brush-off, so h
e braced himself.
Mason opened the sliding glass door, his brows furrowed. “Why’d you knock?”
Jordan shrugged as he stared at Mason’s feet. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me.”
The dogs rushed outside and jumped up on Jordan. Wally licked him until Jordan’s face was a slobbering mess. Jordan smiled as he knocked them both off him. The two raced around the yard as Mason stepped outside.
“We need to talk.” Now that he was about to spill his guts about Gary, Jordan wasn’t sure he could. But after a lot of soul-searching last night, he decided that he wanted to be with Mason, that he simply couldn’t imagine his life without his sheriff in it.
“I’m listening.” Mason waved for Jordan to take a seat in one of the lawn chairs. When he did, Mason joined him.
Jordan told Mason everything. By the time he was done speaking, tears stained his cheeks. He hadn’t told another living soul about what had happened or how, by the end, he had fallen out of love with Gary.
“So you think by loving me you’ll cause my death somehow?” Mason sat forward, touching Jordan’s arm.
“It sounds stupid, doesn’t it?” Jordan used the hem of his shirt to wipe his face.
Mason stood and pulled him to his feet. “After what you’ve been through, I can see why you’re afraid, but you do understand that his death wasn’t your fault, right?”
“How can it not be?”
“Did you put a gun to his head and make him get behind the wheel? Were you the one who rammed into his car?”
“No.”
“Blame the guy who actually killed him.” Mason pressed a kiss to Jordan’s lips. “And just so you know, you are not the guy to blame.”
The guilt was still there, and Jordan guessed it would take a while for him to get over it, but Mason’s acceptance made the burden a little less heavy. He slid his arms around Mason’s sides and said the words he’d been dying to say. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jordan.” Mason cupped his face. “But we need to talk about something else.”
He stood there and listened to Mason tell him about what he used to do, how the agency had pulled him back in, how things had gone horribly wrong in Baltimore, and how he probably was a wanted man now.
