“Are you alright, Frank?”
“No. Not at all. It will be a long time before I am ever alright again. But I’ll get through this. I have to get back to Beginnings. Everyone is looking for me. If you have any questions, just reach out.”
“I’ll try to handle it without bothering you too much,” Michael said. “And Frank, I am honored that you have asked me.”
Frank gave a nod, turned and walked out.
Robbie Slagel.
Michael didn’t have the pleasure or privilege to get to know him. He had some time before the service, and Michael would use that time to get to know Robbie as best as he could, from everyone and anyone he could.
CHAPTER FOUR
Keep it together. Keep it together.
Words Jimmy repeated over in his mind all the way to the Social Hall.
Keep it together.
Someone had to.
His insides shook out of control and hadn’t stopped since he left Andrea with Ellen. She was inconsolable. Ellen was strong, but Jimmy could see it in her eyes, she just wanted to break.
Keep it together. Keep it together.
Who was he kidding?
He came from a strong family, they would present themselves no less than strong, hiding their emotions behind the Slagel wall of steel.
Jimmy reached for the Social Hall door and paused, lowering his head, and thinking of Robbie. More than anything he needed Frank and Hal.
They were the epitome of brothers, for as long as he could recall, they were no less.
Even as kids.
His mind went back in time.
The mishap … they had gone to the store for one of their many stepmothers. A mishap because of Hal and his oddly holier than thou attitude.
Robbie … Robbie stealing that toy, and they all got in trouble. Frank got them out of it though, by volunteering to work for free.
They returned home, each with their bags, the shopping list complete. Frank held Robbie’s hand. He always held Robbie’s hand.
They were scared to death to walk in the house and face Ruth.
Did she know? Were they as brothers in trouble again?
Frank stopped and faced his brothers before going in. “O.K., just don’t say anything, maybe she’ll forget.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Frank, sure. She’s not going to be here. Bet me.”
“I’ll bet you. And no one say anything about me having to work at the store.” Frank reached for the handle and stopped again. “Hal, wipe that chocolate off your face so she doesn’t have something else to yell about.”
Hal shoved the rest of his chocolate bar in his mouth and wiped the back of his hands across his lips. He spoke with a full mouth. “I’m ready.”
Slowly and very quietly, Frank opened the door to the house, peeking in first. “Hello?” He called in a whisper, then stepped in. The house was quiet. “Maybe she’s sleeping. Let’s put these away. Hurry.” Frank ran to the steps looking up, making sure they had an ‘all clear’ and he waved for his brothers to hurry.
“Frank,” Jimmy called him.
“What?” Frank, carrying his bag walked toward the kitchen, stopping in the dining room. Jimmy, Hal and Robbie stood around the dining room table. “Put your bags away.”
“Frank.” Jimmy set down his bag and handed Frank a piece of paper. “She’s gone. She left Dad. What are we gonna do?”
Frank read the note. After he was finished, very seriously he looked at his three younger brothers. “Simple.” Frank crumbled the note. “We don’t tell him.”
They didn’t tell their father, in fact they pulled it off for weeks. How, he would never know.
All for one, one for all.
Now one of them was gone and they needed each other more than ever.
Jimmy had been away from them a while, missing, never knowing his family was alive. He was glad at least he saw them all before Robbie died.
It was funny when they forgot about him, and sometimes it hurt. That wasn’t all on them. Jimmy, like them, was used to not being around his family. But Jimmy was determined that he would no longer be the forgotten brother.
He couldn’t be.
He lingered by the door, afraid of how he would feel when he stepped inside and he saw his brothers. It’d been hours since Robbie had passed, and none of them had spoken a single word to each other. The only communication was via text. They all went their separate ways, each carrying their own load of heartache. Not one of them facing each other. Now it was time.
Both hands flush against the door Jimmy pushed it open and stepped inside. Hal stood with such a loud outward breath of relief, it spoke volumes to Jimmy that he was glad his brother walked in.
“Jimmy,” Hal gasped, stepped to him and embraced him full body and strength.
“Hey big brother,” Jimmy said.
Hal stepped back keeping both hands tight to Jimmy’s arms, looking at him in the eyes, “How are you?” He asked.
“I’m doing. You?”
“I’m doing.”
Elliot stepped into the fold reaching out his hand to Jimmy, placing it on his shoulder. “I am very sorry. So sorry about Robbie.”
Jimmy nodded.” Yeah, me too.”
How extended his hand in an outward point to the table. “I have drinks. We need them. I was getting concerned. You sent that message quite a while ago.”
“I know. Andrea is not good. She isn’t. Finally I convinced her to go over to Ellen’s house.”
“I have to go see her.” Hal poured a drink. He handed it to Jimmy.
As Jimmy took the glass, his eyes shifted to the stage area. He stared for a moment. Brought the drink to his lips and sat. “Elliot? Do you know if Robbie ever finished that?”
“Last I knew he was finishing up the vocals.” Elliot said. “Although, I haven’t heard the tracks.”
Jimmy exhaled in relief. “Thank God. Will you be able to get them?”
Elliot nodded. “Yes. I’ll also see what footage Danny has of him over the studio.”
“Wait. Wait.” Hal held up his hand. “Was our brother working on something? An album?”
“Yes,” Elliot said. “A bunch of original songs he wrote. Some covers. He never let us hear the lyrics so I’m not quite sure what they are about. The music is killer.”
“Robbie would send me bits and pieces. He never even told me the titles. There were no vocals. I was hoping he laid them down.” Jimmy said. “I know I was driving blind when I laid down that track.”
“You … laid down a track?” Hal asked.
“Yes.” Jimmy replied.
“That’s really nice of him to include you.” Hal looked at Elliott. “When Jimmy was in school, he played the triangle.”
“You don’t say,” Elliott said. “Well, Jimmy is very talented.”
“I know. An album … wow,” Hal shook his head. “I had no idea.”
“He wanted it to be a secret,” Elliot said. “A birthday present for Frank.” His head lowered...
“Well,” Hal exhaled as he said the word. “If it was for our big brother, I can bet there is at least one Journey song.”
Elliot looked up from the tops of his eyes. The corner of his mouth raised in a smile. “Yeah, there is.”
“My God,” Hal said. “What a great gift our brother will get.”
“We will all get. Speaking of our brother…” Jimmy said. “Have you talked to him?”
“No.” Hal replied. “You?”
“Only through text. He said he was doing something. And he would meet us here.”
“I’m here,” Frank’s voice entered the Social Hall.
“Frank.” Hal rushed to him. “I’m glad you’re here.” He hugged him.
“Me, too. Sorry it took so long,” Frank grabbed hold of Jimmy. “Are we drinking? I need to drink.”
“We are.” Hal grabbed the bottle.
“I’m going to leave,” Elliott said. “This is family time.”
“Elliott, you are fam
ily,” Hal told him.
Elliott winked. “I’m not a brother. You three need this. I want to check on Ellen and Andrea, then head back to Bowman and keep things in order there.”
“Can you not?” Frank asked. “I mean, can you stay. George has a handle on things there. Danny has it covered here. We can use you here.”
“Of course,” Elliott gave a sad smile. He squeezed Hal’s arm, looked back at the stage, sighed and then walked out.
Hal handed Frank the drink. “Let’s sit.”
Jimmy and Frank both sat down.
“This is nice,” Jimmy said. “Has any talked to Dad.”
“Last I heard,” Hal ran his finger over the rim of his glass. “He was kicking people out of the room. Ellen included.”
“Maybe we should check on him?” Jimmy asked.
Frank shook his head. “I have Roy there looking in on him. We will when it’s time. Did you send Dad a text about coming here?”
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, when he didn’t answer my call. But I didn’t get a reply.” Jimmy said. “I hope he knew who was calling.” He snickered sadly.
“Brother.” Hal reached out to him. “I know we forget you and that is our fault.”
“Mine, too,” Jimmy said.
“We won’t let it happen again.” Hal told him. “I was gone a while too. I was in your shoes. I had no idea my family was alive.”
“Me either,” Jimmy said. “Especially since there was no note.”
“Ah, there was. Didn’t we have this conversation?”
“No.” Jimmy shook his head. “I didn’t see a note.”
Hal smiled. “Robbie did.”
“You arrived in the main land when?” Joe questioned.
“Let’s see,” Hal thought. “It had to be August. We devised a central meeting place and a time we would all meet. I didn’t figure for some to return. I knew I would. So we split up with each group going separate ways.”
Joe tossed his hands up. “Hal, I’m a little miffed. I spent my life beating it into your head about the contingency plan... Why in God’s name didn’t you follow it? If you would have you would have seen we went to Ashtonville.”
“Yeah,” Robbie added, “and I made sure dad left word there where we went.”
“I did.” Hal was insistent. “I remembered the contingency plan, but when I got to Gaithersburg, I figured since there was no note, no one but me survived.”
“What the hell are you . . .?”
At that moment Robbie stood up and walked out.
“Robert.”
“Getting the brownies, Dad.” Robbie hurried into the kitchen. There was some clanking as he took the brownies from the oven. “All right. When I went with Miguel for a final weapons run around late July, we stopped at Gaithersburg to check on the note. I figured it had been months and Hal was sick so I uh.... I took the note for a souvenir. I have it, Hal, if you want to see it.”
Hal’s mouth dropped open. “I wandered the country thinking my family was dead and you took the note? Dad! He wasn’t supposed to take the note! Robbie, you asshole.”
“Hey.” Robbie pointed at him. “I resent that.”
“Dad.”
“I know.” Joe held up his hand. “What’s done is done.”
Jimmy’s eyes widened. “What’s done is done?”
“Robbie is the baby,” Hal said sadly. “He did no wrong in Dad’s eyes. Frank’s either for that matter. My God, what I wouldn’t give to have Robbie look up to me the way he looked up to Frank.”
“I got news for you, Hal,” Frank said. “He did. He just liked to hide it from you to irk you.” He lifted his glass and downed the drink. “Look, I was in Bowman because I think Robbie deserves more than us just saying a few words and sticking him in the fucking ground. Every death from here on in, deserves more. We got so stuck in the mindset that death is common place we forgot that it isn’t anymore.”
“What do you want to do?” Jimmy asked.
“I heard about some guy in Bowman who used to be a funeral director.”
“Harv Stevens,” Hal said. “Did you speak to him?”
“Yeah,” Frank nodded. “He’s gonna go to the old funeral home, see what he needs, Danny Hoi will help get the stuff. I want to do an old fashioned viewing and mass. I spoke to Father Mike, too.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Hal said. “I agree. We need this.”
“Remember when Sergeant Pletcher died?” Jimmy asked. “We were all grown men, I was married, Frank you were married …. But we were all still her boys. You know? And we could have gone to the funeral in a dress blues, but we decided to be brothers, all of us and show up like that. We went and got suits. As sad as we were, we had a great time the four of us, talking about her and how we felt. Old memories. We should go get suits.” Jimmy looked at the silent expressions of Frank and Hal. “Or not, sorry.”
“No. No.” Hal grabbed his arm. “I think that is an awesome idea. I’m up for a brother road trip, find suits. I’m sure there’s a department store out there remaining. Ben from Fabrics can alter. Frank?”
Frank tipped an eyebrow and refreshed his glass. “Nothing else I’d like more than to be with you two right now. Let’s go tomorrow to get those suits.” He raised his glass.
Both Hal and Jimmy clinked.
Silence.
Jimmy gripped his glass with both hands as if it were the heaviest thing in the world. “What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do without Robbie?”
“Nothing will be the same,” Hal said. “Ever.”
“No,” Frank said. “It won’t. But our baby brother will never … never be gone. Not while the three of us are here to talk about him, remember him and love him. Physically he may be gone, but as long as we’re alive, his spirit is alive and I will do everything to make sure …” Frank choked up. “That spirit never dies.”
CHAPTER FIVE
In the midst of the sadness, Hector had a brief moment of selfishness and worried that the progress he and Henry had made recently was going to go by the wayside with the news of Robbie’s death. When Henry returned from finding out, he sat on the couch, elbows to his knees while he pressed his chin against his tightly folded hands.
He hadn’t moved for hours.
After placing Nick in the high chair in the dining area, Hector walked into the living room.
“Dinner, Henry,” Hector said.
“I’m good, thanks. You guys eat.”
“Look,” Hector sat down next to him. “I know this is hard. You have known Robbie since the onset. Maybe here isn’t the best place to be.”
“Where else should I be?” Henry asked.
“I got the group text and saw the notice on Hoibook,” Hector said. He was referring to a text from Jimmy, and its sentiments repeated on social media. An invitation to absorb what happened, to talk about it and Robbie. An invitation to join the Slagels and as a community be a family.
Henry shook his head.
“I made an extra pan of casserole,” Hector said. “Take it down to the Social Hall and share you grief. Be with Frank and Hal and ...”
“I can’t.” Henry looked at him. “How? Right now, Hector I am … I am consumed with guilt. Why was I so hard on him, why was I so mean to him? We were enemies, there’s no place for me there.”
“I totally disagree,” Hector said.
“What?” Henry looked at him with shock.
“You weren’t enemies. You were friends that fought all the time. You nitpicked, you bickered. That doesn’t make you enemies.”
“Do you know how many times I said I hated him?”
Hector nodded. “Yes, and Robbie said the same. You were probably the one person in Beginnings that didn’t get along with him.”
“Gee thanks.”
“You know, you guys were at each other’s throats, but I don’t think there would be a time that if you needed him, Robbie wouldn’t be there.”
“True.” Henry nodded.
“And you’d be
the same.”
“Well ….”
Hector smiled. “That reaction, that doesn’t make you a bad guy or an enemy. It makes your relationship unique. And you have a relationship with his brothers. They are probably wondering where you are. Take the casserole, Henry. Go to the Social Hall. Be with those who are feeling this loss. It’s where you need to be.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll stay here with Nick. Maybe take a walk over to Ellen’s and Andrea, see how they are.”
“You don’t think they’ll kick me out?” Henry asked,
“No, I don’t. I think ….” Hector said. “They’ll ask what took you so long.”
After a brief silent moment, Henry reached over, placed his hand on Hectors, squeezed it and stood. “I’ll go. Thank you.”
“Take the casserole.”
Henry nodded. He walked through the dining room, pausing to give Nick a kiss before grabbing the pan of food.
He was scared. Worried that he would be chastised or shunned because of his relationship with Robbie. However, Hector was right, Henry needed to be there. And despite how much he argued and fought with him, Robbie’s death was painful and Henry was heartbroken.
<><><><>
Hours.
Ellen had spent hours with the kids, then with Andrea. They went through a wide variety of emotions and moments. Crying and laughter.
Elliott’s presence helped.
Making dinner for the kids was a task that seemed overwhelming. The kids were all so sad, how could they not be? It was Robbie.
She hadn’t heard from Dean and figured he had found Frank. Those two, with their odd friendship were probably emotionally relying on each other.
She believed that until Richie showed up.
“I figured you’d want to go to the Social Hall,” Richie said. “I’ll stay with the kids. You go. It’s pretty cool there.”
Elliott offered to stay as well. Ellen had gotten the text from Jimmy. She wanted to go. It was strange how they all fractioned off after Robbie died, when they should have been together.
Andrea immediately went back home to powder her face and she and Ellen walked to town.
Aftermath_Beginnings Series Book 29 Page 4
