Raven cocks a brow. “Alone time, hmm?”
“Yeah. You’re off. Frank is gone. We haven’t really had time to ourselves and I think it’s high time we change that. I’ll go see Ashley, and I’ll be back here at eight tonight.” I take a step closer to her and lean down to press my lips to hers, wanting a sweet memory to take with me on my short trip.
As I break our kiss, Raven speaks. “See ya later, handsome,”
Chapter Twenty-Three
The hardest thing about depression is that it is addictive. It begins to feel uncomfortable not to be depressed. You feel guilty for feeling happy.
~ Pete Wentz
Hawk
I borrowed Bull’s truck and headed a couple miles down the road to Blackjack and Ashley’s house. During my drive over, I remembered how much I love driving through the snow. While some people get anxious at the mere thought of it, I’m the exact opposite. To me, driving through snow is like someone who owns a Jeep driving on a sandy beach. It’s relaxing and fun as hell.
I pull up outside their house and walk to their front door. I don’t bother knocking because Blackjack has always had an open-door policy, meaning that if someone in the club needs to speak to him or his family, come right on in. Because of this, I think everyone agreed with Fist when he named Blackjack the interim VP. I have a feelin’ though he’ll stay VP. Kade has made it apparent he doesn’t want the title, and now that he’s in Vegas there isn’t a chance he’d be VP and living at another charter.
I don’t think a vote is gonna come anytime soon, although if there’s anything I’ve learned being a Reaper, it’s this— expect the unexpected. We might all think the vote won’t happen for at least a year when the reality is it could happen tomorrow. Regardless, we’ll make the right choice. Unlike other clubs, both charters will put in the vote for who the National VP will be. Kade was Fist’s first choice, but since he declined we’ll have to put it to a vote. In the entirety of Reapers history, the previous Prez has named the future Prez and VP. Never has someone denied a position, so Kade doing so was out of the norm.
I walk through their small hallway and continue on into the house. “Yoo-hoo, anyone home?”
I hear the distinctive sounds of bare feet hitting the floors and giggles accompanying them. Like a pair of wolves running through the mountains, Noelle and Sydney come flying by. I look directly at Noelle and ask, “Where’s your mom, kiddo?”
Noelle points to the left. “Making cookies for us tonight! We’re watching that new cartoon movie!” Noelle goes on to tell me about how an alien comes from the sky looking like a dog and lands in the North Pole. It sounds like a Lilo & Stitch rip-off to me.
After Noelle is done talking to me about the cartoon, I walk further and see the tile which leads into the kitchen. Ashley has her long blonde locks tied up in a messy bun, tossing what looks to be flour in a mixing bowl. “Hey Ash,” I start off saying, not wanting to startle her. With the ruckus the girls are making, I doubt she can hear anything over them.
“Oh, hey Hawk! How are you?”
“I’m good. Did I catch you at a good time?”
She nods. “Sure. Especially if you don’t mind waiting twenty minutes or so for another batch of cookies to come out of the oven. Sydney and Noelle wanted to make cookies for the club and their sleepover . . . but as you can tell, they left me to do the hard work.”
“As children always do. I’m sure they’ll come back to take those cookies off your hands, though.”
“Oh, no doubt. So, what’s going on? It’s not like you to just stop by unannounced unless you’re with the brothers . . .” Ashley pauses and looks around, “and I don’t see anyone with you.”
“Nope. I’m the only one who came over. I came because Kat asked me to speak to you privately.” At my words, Ashley makes a confused face.
“That doesn’t make sense. I spoke to Kat a couple days ago.”
“There are certain things you don’t send through a text message,” I muse, pausing for a moment before I continue. “Everyone is worried about your Dad, Ash . . . but I think Kat is coming from a different place entirely. We all know Kat went through some heavy shit and if anyone here has had experience with depression, it’s her. She wanted me to speak with you privately to see if you could get your Dad some help. Like, maybe take him to therapy to talk about his loss.”
“There’s not one person in the world he’d want to talk to and you know why,” Ashley says as she stops mixing the ingredients to the cookies. I’d imagine it would be pretty difficult to go to a therapist and discuss things when almost everything you do is considered illegal or a criminal act.
“Trust me, I do. But I also see Kat has a point. He lost two of the most important people in his life on the same day and even more than that, the loss of his club alone was catastrophic. Losing Cracker and Saffron was hard on all of us, but your Dad . . . I don’t know if he’ll ever be the same if he doesn’t go and talk to somebody, Ash.”
She takes in a deep breath and bows her head over her kitchen island, looking defeated as all hell. “I understand where you’re both coming from, but you two aren’t the ones trying to have conversations with him right now. Blackjack, Zane, and I are all trying. Every day we try to get him to do something different. Even if its as small as taking a shower, or changing clothes, or even if we can get him to wash that damn robe of his. I’ll take anything as a victory right now, because I don’t know if I’ll ever get him back, Hawk. And I feel like a cunt for saying this, but I want my father back. I don’t think he’ll go to therapy because of the type of man he is, but I need to accept that these losses have changed him. Who the hell knows. He might actually go.”
“You’re exactly right. He may go, but the one important thing to remember is that you won’t know until you try.”
“Yep, you’re right. I’ll give it a go and see what I can do.”
“Awesome, now text your cousin and tell her that. I don’t think Kat likes to admit when she’s worryin’, but somethin’ tells me she hasn’t stopped since the moment she heard what happened.”
Ashley nods once. “Yeah, well, if she has been, I’m glad I’m not alone.”
I walk around the island to a woman I’ve known for years and view as a sister myself, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight. “You’re never alone, and remember we all want your Dad to get better. None of us are givin’ up on him. Okay?”
Ashley takes in a deep breath, and as she releases the air she held in her chest she speaks. “Thank you, Hawk. I really needed to hear that.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The best things happen unexpectedly
~ Unknown
Hawk
I ended up gettin' stopped at Ashley’s doors by two of the most intimidating people I’ve ever met in my entire life. These two crossed their arms and gave me the meanest sneers on the planet as they looked up at me, demanding my presence to eat some cookies with them. Sydney and Noelle are pretty hard to say no to. Hell, if I ever have kids and one of them turns out to be a girl, I’ll be royally fucked. But really I’m a sucker with any children. I don’t ever discipline them, say no, or really do anything considered adult-like.
It's how I ended up realizing it was five minutes past eight and I’m late for my date with Raven. We don’t get alone time very often so I’m not going to fuck up the opportunity that presented itself.
“Girls, I’m sorry but I gotta go. Raven is waiting for me,” I tell Sydney and Noelle, but Ashley giggles from the chaise on the other end of the couch. I started watching the Stitch rip-off too. Honestly, it’s nothing like that so I was wrong for judging the movie before I watched it. We’re only halfway through and part of me wants to stay ‘cause these kids are too damn adorable when they beg with their eyes, but I’ll be having another woman beggin’ for somethin’ else tonight and that’s too sweet to pass up.
“Ugh, really?” Sydney whines.
“I don’t want you to go!” Noelle further comments.
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Ashley rises from her chaise and smirks. “Now ladies, Hawk has obligations and needs to get going. He stayed here with us for far past what he came here to. We need to tell him how grateful we are he spent some time with us out of his very hectic schedule.”
Sydney nods whereas Noelle huffs, but I’m sure that’s from her age.
“Thank you again, ladies. I had a great time, and before I leave to go back to Vegas, I’m gonna say we have a party and watch cartoons all day!”
“Yeah!” both of the girls yell, grinning like I’m Santa on Christmas morning. Fuck, kids really do get the best of me.
“Great. Do I need to walk you out or do you know the way?” Ashley asks, probably already knowing the answer.
“I appreciate the offer, but I can figure out how to get to the front door.” I chuckle as I rise and head toward the front of the house. I place my hand on the knob, pull the door, and come face-to-face with three people in full tactical gear. From the looks of it, they’re all wearing black and ATF is plastered on the front center of their vests.
Instinctively, I want to grab my gun but know better. If I do, I’m essentially a dead man. “Now, Blake Nash, what are you doing up here? Last we knew, you were down in Las Vegas.” I wanna cringe hearing my name but the law always uses it. No way in hell will they ever call us by our road names. Instead, whenever they decide to pay a visit, they are extremely formal.
“I was until I decided to fly up and see how everyone was doin’,” I respond, looking the curvy brunette right in the eyes as I speak. She has these eyes that say a thousand words. It’s funny how I can tell from one look at her that she’s not the type to fuck around with. This here is the type of woman who will chew you up and spit you out like her life depends on it.
“How thoughtful of you. I’m Agent Amanda Williams with ATF, obviously. We’ve come here to speak with the Monroes, specifically Lloyd and Ashley. However, since you’re here I can’t allow you to leave.”
Jesus Christ. This woman doesn’t know just how bad her timing is.
“Are you even allowed to tell me I can’t leave?” I ask, waiting for an answer.
“According to my boss, I can do whatever I want. Although, I think you’ll want to stick around. You see, speaking with me won’t be a bad thing at all.”
“It won’t?” I say it more like a question because the one other time ATF was sniffin’ around, it wasn’t good. We were on lockdown, hidin’ everything we could in case they showed up out of nowhere. When they didn’t, we thought we did all that extra work for nothin’ but now I know it’s good we did.
“No, I’m not here for any of you or your brothers. However, we do have a common enemy. I’d really prefer to get inside with my team before we start discussing the nitty-gritty stuff,” she finishes on the end with a smile.
Normally, I’d have no problem lettin’ her in, but there are kids here. In my opinion, there are certain things kids don’t need to overhear or know about. “We have kids in the house, Agent Williams. Can we talk about this anywhere else?”
She chuckles softly. “We could discuss this in a federal office, although I highly doubt any of you want to be seen walking into one. We all know the repercussions of that.” Okay, so I was wrong. This is the type of woman who rips people apart.
“Goodness gracious, Hawk must’ve forgotten to shut the front door. It’s freezing in here!” I hear Ashley mutter as her footsteps grow closer. I turn so I can make sure she sees me before the ATF agents. Lord knows this girl will freak the fuck out if she sees their vests first thing.
“Ashley,” I start off in a calm tone.
“Did you forget something? Shit, Hawk. Shut the damn door. I don’t want either of the kids getting a cold, or worse, the flu.
Instead of allowing me to ease Ashley into what’s happening, Agent Williams shoves me aside and approaches Ashley. “Ashley Monroe . . . in the flesh. Man, how some of my colleagues would kill to see you right now. You’re a legend around our parts, sweetheart. I apologize for allowing a chill to run through your house. You see, Blake here was just on the way out when I got to your door. As I explained to him, I need to speak to you, your husband, and your father. Blake can stay, considering I won’t allow him to leave.”
“What? You can’t do that. You even said you only need to speak to me, Rob, and my Dad,” Ashley argues, furrowing her brows in frustration.
Agent Williams lets out a giggle, the type you hear a tough girl in the park do before she schools someone’s ass. “Allow me to rephrase. I’m not going to allow Blake here to fuck up my ongoing investigation. As I explained to him, I’m not here for any of you. We do have a common enemy and we’re here to discuss that. Now, where are your husband and father?”
“They’re at my father’s house,” Ashley says as she looks to me with a bit of uncertainty.
“Great, so call them up and get the two of them over here,” Agent Williams responds, walking into Ashley’s house with two of her team. What she doesn’t realize is getting Fist here won’t be the easiest task in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I understood myself only after I had destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was.
~ Sade Andria Zabala
Hawk
“Agent Williams, would you be opposed if I send a text to my girlfriend and tell her I’m going to be late? You can even read it before I send it through.” Ashley was able to call Blackjack as long as it was on speakerphone and give him a rundown of why it was so important that he get Fist up here.
Agent Williams opens her jaw and cackles like I’ve just told her the funniest story on planet Earth. “You are all supposed to be a group of badass bikers and all I’ve seen since I walked in here are pussy bitches.”
I’ll put up with a lot of shit, except what she just said. I’m not trying to go off on someone who works for the government, but I sure as fuck will if I feel a certain way. “I think there’s a huge misconception about our lifestyle these days. While some of us may treat our women with respect, others don’t and it gives us a bad reputation. I asked because I was being polite. Now I’m just going to text her and inform her club business is keepin’ me busy and I’ll see her when I get back to Fist’s house,” I grumble out, taking my phone from the back of my jeans, I shoot off a quick text to Raven, who will no doubt slaughter me alive regardless.
Ashley asked the girls to go to their room and watch a movie in there. Noelle didn’t care because her mom let her take popcorn and candy in, which I’m gathering is a huge no-no in this household. On the other hand, Sydney acted like a teenager even though she’s only twelve and rolled her eyes. She obviously knew there was some deep adult shit about to go down. If I could choose, I’d rather be in their room watchin’ cartoons, eatin’ some of that freshly made popcorn and candy.
“When do you think your husband and father will be here?” Agent Williams asks, sitting on the chaise, staring Ashley down. Hell, if she didn’t put Blackjack on speaker, I doubt she’d think Ashley even called him.
“Any minute now,” Ashley replies.
Since the kids went into their bedroom and Dex is buried deep in the world of videogaming, the entire house is pretty silent. So silent we hear the front door open and two sets of footsteps coming in. One of Agent Williams’s team members raises their gun and Ashley starts shittin’ herself. “You’d sure as hell better lower your weapon or we won’t help you with shit. You wanted my husband and father, well, I got them here. You never said anything about pointing loaded weapons at either of them.”
“There have been far too many times where I’ve been fucked over by individuals who said they were going to do what I asked. It’s just a precaution, honey. As soon as they show their faces, I’ll tell my man to lower his weapon. Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
“Anyone want to tell me what in the hell is going on here?” I haven’t heard Fist scream like this since before the club burned down. He’s
in his robe, which I figured would happen, but he must look like he’s playin’ the part of a grumpy old man in a movie to Agent Williams here.
“Hello, Fist.” Agent Williams rises, scanning her eyes over Fist’s body. “I didn’t realize you’d . . . already be ready for bed. Naturally, I assumed you would be up.”
Fist grumbles out a reply to her.
Blackjack is directly next to him and from the expression on his face, I think he wants to move. “Oh, fuck. I’m going to throw up.” Ashley hops off the couch and runs to the nearest door, slams it behind her, and we’re all subject to hearing her vomit her guts out.
“Did she take her phone?” One of Williams’s team asks, lookin’ on the couch where Ashley was sittin’.
“Dammit, she did! Someone go in there,” Williams orders, but Blackjack puts his hand on the agent’s chest, causing him to stop.
He looks at Agent Williams and her two men directly in their eyes. “The three of you will leave my wife the hell alone. She is not in there notifying members of our club about your arrival like you think. She’s pregnant and I’m sure as you all know, scents are a trigger to get nauseous and throw up.”
Agent Williams shifts her lips in the form of an ‘o’. “What caused her to vomit?” she asks as soon as she gets closer to Fist and immediately backs up. “Whoa. Okay. Now I know.” Agent Williams coughs a couple of times and decides to walk back to the couch where she was.
Blackjack pulls out a stool at the kitchen island for Fist and asks him to sit there while he checks on Ashley. Thankfully she’s not vomiting anymore and comes out of the bathroom but opts to sit on the windowsill in case she gets a bout of nausea again.
“So, what have you come here to discuss with us?” Ashley inquires, a little aggravated after emptying her stomach contents.
Chaos: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 26
