“It’s my decision,” Dina asserted. “And I’m not giving it while both of you are acting like children instead of grown men. I wish to first speak with each of you, in private.”
Kyl put away his gun. “Here we are, two of the most powerful men in the galaxy, and both of us stand chastised and humbled by this slip of a girl.”
Rayn lowered his gun and slipped it into his holster. “I was thinking much the same thing myself. But ‘slip of a girl’? The goddess of lightning in mortal form is more like it.”
“You know, dens, under different circumstances I might have called you friend.”
“Not likely in all of eternity. I always thought myself to be a tolerant man, but even if you hadn’t done to Dina what you did, I would still harbor a repulsion for you and your kind.”
“Would you now. Well then, keep this in mind while you’re being repulsed. Don’t try to influence the girl in the way of the dens. If you do, I’ll know it, and promise or no promise . . .”
“Enough, I said! Both of you! Rayn, please . . .”
The two men glowered at each other, and the atmosphere in the airy chamber suddenly felt thick and close, as if a spark would ignite the very air. Rayn broke eye contact first, giving Dina a sidelong look.
“As you wish. You will know where to find me,” he said softly. She could only stare at him as he strode toward the bay without a backward glance.
Dina squeezed her eyes shut, drew in a long deep breath, and gave a silent prayer of thanks that the two men hadn’t come to blows. Finally, with a sigh, her eyes fluttered open, and she faced Kyl, but she couldn’t look him in the eye.
“That wasn’t easy, I know. Gods know, he can be arrogant, and . . .”
“Dina, look at me.”
She forced herself to meet his gaze. The steely slitted eyes of a moment ago were gone, replaced by eyes that glowed a soft gray-blue.
“Listen. I know what your decision is. I’ve known it from day one, though I tried to deny it. You’re his woman and always will be.”
Am I? She wanted to believe Kyl’s words, but the tightness in her chest and throat told her otherwise. “Kyl, it’s not that simple. What you say was true, not so long ago, but Rayn . . . he’s changed. I could see it in his eyes. And you heard him. The pain he carries eats at his soul. After what I did, I don’t blame him. But he may not be able to forgive me. The way he looked just now . . . he’s more like the dens I grew up hating than the man I knew on Exodus. I don’t know if I know him anymore.”
“He came across the galaxy for you.”
“You heard him. He came for vengeance.”
“No. He came to right a wrong. Just as I try to do. I’ll survive. It’s what I do. But he needs you. That beast of his will very much eat him alive unless he has you. And whether you know it or not, there’s a need in you I can’t fill. You and he are like in kind.”
She tried to catch his eye, her confusion whirling again to the surface, but Kyl was staring up at the skylight. She had the strange feeling she’d missed something in all the conversation, something only Kyl and Rayn understood. She shook her head. How could that be? She must be wrong, for, after all, she knew both of them very well, but they had never met until today.
He tossed the rupter onto one of the chairs, as if in surrender. “Go to him now. Search your true feelings. You’ll see I’m right.”
“Before I go, I need to know one thing. It’s the one thing I’ve wondered about every day since that last day on Ror—the day I ran away because I thought I meant nothing more to you than a . . .”
“. . . Roven’s mistress. I remember.”
“Did I mean more to you than that?”
He appeared caught off guard, for his lips parted, but his ready tongue faltered. “Aye, Hellfire,” was all that came out.
She waited for more, but no more words came. He faced away and headed for the door to the bay.
“I’ll be back,” he called, not turning.
“Kyl . . .”
He paused, but continued to face the door. “Don’t worry. Your man is safe from me.”
The door closed behind him, and she shuddered. Kyl had made it all sound so easy, so certain, but she knew it was all a lie. Rayn clearly had his “beast” to overcome. And she herself had more than enough demons of her own to battle. Could she forgive herself? Could she heal herself enough to help Rayn to heal?
In the end, perhaps none of it would matter. Kyl’s date with destiny was imminent, and she had the strange feeling that whatever happened, she and Rayn would be a part of that destiny, for better or worse.
Chapter Seventeen
Revelations
KYL TOOK THE cruiser and followed the riverbed to his favorite maze tapper. He ordered a pint and sat in the darkest corner he could find, his back to the wall and his face to the door. Dhagaz was on his way to Triplicity, but he didn’t care. He’d just made the hardest decision of his life, and nothing else now seemed important. He’d taken her on a whim, but it had been with careful deliberation that he had let her go.
Not that he’d planned on letting her go. When he’d arrived in Terminus, Sandy had given him the news of the two B’haratan “ambassadors.” One was a thief and one-time resident of Terminus, the other an outlaw from Exodus who had gone by the alias of Rayn DeStar. These tidbits had come directly from the Glacian ambassador who had arrived with the B’haratans on the Sun God. The Glacian ambassador had spent the entire evening dining and drinking, and information had flowed as liberally as the wine. One of the minor officials dining with the ambassador had been hired by Sandy to pass along what he heard. It didn’t take much for Kyl to conclude that the outlaw dens was Dina’s bond-mate.
He’d rushed back to Triplicity as soon as he had heard the news. To do what, he hadn’t known. Fight for Dina? Kill the dens? He nearly had. But letting both of them go had been the right thing.
Did I mean more to you than that? she’d asked. He’d thought about lying to her—telling her that no, she had meant no more to him than tap to a rat. It would have made her decision to stay with DeStar that much easier. It would have been a kind lie, and she never would have learned otherwise. But she deserved to know the truth. He’d wanted her to know the truth—not to salvage his reputation, not to assuage the guilt he carried for what he’d done to her, but because what they had shared had been important.
The dens knew his secret. He was sure of it. All the veiled talk about parasites and beasts hadn’t simply been to describe DeStar’s own burden, but to let Kyl know that the secret of the Roven was secret no more. He supposed the dens would tell Dina, and for that Kyl was sorry, for he was sure she’d take it badly. Her knowledge of what he was would no doubt destroy the validation he had tried to give her.
And now Dhagaz was coming.
He called Sandy on his wrist comm. “Sandy, how close is Dhagaz?”
“About an hour from Triplicity. Vaizya’s ten minutes behind him, and I’m about five behind Vaiz. What happened with the dens?”
“He and Dina will live happily ever after.”
There was silence on the comm before Sandy answered. “I’m sorry about Dina, Alec, but I’m glad for her sake you didn’t kill the dens.”
“He knows about the Roven, Sandy. The truth.”
“Will it be a problem?”
“I don’t think so. But we’ll see. Kylariz out.”
One hour. One hour to set right the last wrong with Dina before Dhagaz arrived.
DINA STOOD ALONE in the solarium, feeling the tension that still saturated the air. She wasn’t ready to face Rayn yet. She had to clear her mind. She closeted herself in the room she’d slept in the night before, sat on the floor, and practiced her relaxation techniques. She breathed deeply, freeing her mind from all her questions. Then, calmly, she tackled one at a time.
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br /> Rayn. Had he really changed? Outwardly, he looked vastly different from the man on Exodus she’d remembered so vividly in her mind’s eye. Gone was the tanned skin, the mahogany highlights in the hair, and the light airy clothing, all of which had been courtesy of the powerful Exodan sun. In their place was the pallid skin, the hair of pitch, and the dark clothing. He was certainly more sinister in appearance, but what about the man inside? Was he the same, or changed as well? He had alluded to being eaten from within, to being only a shell of a man. Had the desire for revenge truly drained him of his compassion? His eyes had looked different, too. Was it just an illusion, a contrast to the pale spacer skin, or had the golden fire she’d seen on Exodus been extinguished by pain and a lust for blood?
She had to know before she made any decision. Not comfortable with her mind probing his, or even touching it, she went to find him. But it was more than just knowing how much he’d changed. She had, too. She needed to know if he could live with the knowledge of what she’d been to Kyl—his mistress, a Roven’s mistress.
She had no trouble finding him. Though their minds weren’t in direct contact, she felt his presence easily, and tracking him was as effortless as if he’d dropped colored pebbles for her to follow. The bond? she wondered, or another trick of the dens? She followed the narrow maze road that paralleled the dry river bed, then turned away from the river. Rayn was lodged in a small room several streets over.
He didn’t seem surprised to see her. “You’re full of questions, little girl, aren’t you?”
She hated being called “little girl,” but he’d always called her that. The familiar endearment seemed at odds with the tension between them now. “Shall I speak, or do you already know what I’m going to ask?”
“I have a fair idea, but go ahead. I know it annoys you to have me read you so easily.”
He was right. It did annoy her, but she did her best to remain calm and focused.
“You know I’ve been his lover.” She blurted out the words before her throat could tighten at the thought of what she had to say. They were the hardest words she’d ever spoken, and suddenly her irritation with Rayn was swamped by her feelings of self-recrimination.
She wondered if he would try to touch her mind, but his thoughts were as closed as his tongue was silent, forcing her to hear the sentence echo over and over in her head. And like a sentence it was—a judgment of punishment that would imprison her from this moment on.
He turned away from her, raking his hair back from his forehead. He finally replied with a sigh, and the mere sound of his voice eased her. “Yes, that much would be obvious to a blind man. More difficult is understanding how you could do it, knowing what he is.”
“What he is? A raider, you mean? No worse than the outlaw status you bore, surely?”
“A raider?” He laughed, a sour sound, and the control he seemed to have regained slipped away again. “I care not that he’s a raider, other than it gave him cause and opportunity to abduct you in the first place. No, the fact that he’s a Roven. You told me you knew exactly what he is.” He faced her. “You do know, don’t you?”
She was confused, but she didn’t know why. It was as if she and Rayn were speaking two different languages. “It’s the code he lives under, he and his men.”
He laughed again, the acerbic undertones making Dina wince.
“Is that the rot he told you?” He stopped, and his face suddenly fell into lines that drained all laughter, bitter or otherwise, from his countenance. “Gods . . . then you have no idea? That he’s . . .” He turned away again, and his hair got another raking.
“Rayn, what are you talking about? I thought it was my imagination, but it wasn’t. There was something in your exchange with Kyl that only the two of you understood. Tell me!”
He shook his head firmly. “I can’t. Gods . . . I thought you knew. I thought . . . he had told you himself. You sounded so sure when you said you knew what he was. I should have known better. I should have touched your mind to make sure.”
She couldn’t see his eyes, but his voice was halting, so different from the confident voice she’d known on Exodus. She was aware of her heart pounding in her chest and knew it was fear. If whatever Rayn was trying to tell her rattled him, it would certainly shake her to her core. “Rayn, you’re scaring me. I have to know what you’re talking about. I have a right to know.”
He turned toward her and stared at the ceiling, still not able to meet her eyes.
She couldn’t stand it. Her heart felt ready to explode. “Rayn, if you don’t stop playing games with me, if you don’t tell me whatever it is you think you know, there’s no chance for us.”
He slowly lowered his eyes and met her gaze, and the pain in his eyes cut at her like a weapon. “The Roven . . . are aliens.”
It was the last thing she had expected him to say. She tried to digest the four words. An alien? What did Rayn mean? That Kyl wasn’t from Glacia or any other world she had heard of? She’d suspected as much herself. Or did he mean another race? Did he, like Rayn, have abilities developed far beyond her own? Or was he not at all as he appeared to be? She’d heard of alien beings who could disguise themselves by projecting desired images to the minds of others. Perhaps even the dens had that ability. She’d also heard of shifters, who could morph at will.
“Just what do you mean? That Kyl’s from a world far across the galaxy and just happens to look like a tall Glacian with blond hair and gray eyes, or—”
He shook his head and cut her off. “No. The man who was born Alecto Kylariz, or whatever his real name was, was indeed a Glacian. That man is long dead. His body is now inhabited by a Roven, a highly intelligent creature which, for all intents, is immortal. They’re creatures of energy, with no organic body. Dina, they’re parasites. And, like all parasites, they can survive only by inhabiting a host body.”
She took a step backward until her back hit the wall. “That can’t be true! He’s human, I know he is.”
“The body is, but that’s all. All the rest—the voice, the thoughts, the memories, the intelligence, the soul—is all that of the alien creature.”
“I can’t believe it. Where did you get this information?”
Rayn paced back and forth across the small room, but kept his distance from her. “It wasn’t easy, believe me. The Roven guard their secret fiercely, perpetuating a variety of myths instead. The myths really aren’t necessary, but they seem to amuse the creatures. The myth of a raider is a common one, as many Roven enjoy the freedom of space. But there are many who are planetbound and pass themselves off as traveling performers, traveling tradespeople, or the like. Some prefer the company of their own kind, some prefer the company of mortals, but all of them seem to like to travel, and all of them seem to prefer mortals as lovers. Perhaps there’s something in the temporal life-force of mortals that excites them. Or perhaps the creatures just get bored with those they have known since time immemorial.”
“Stop it!” She raised shaking hands to her head. “And don’t call him a creature!”
He took a step toward her. “That’s what he is to me.”
“And to many the term would apply to you as well.”
“Yourself included?”
“Once.” She paused. “No more. But Rayn, he seems so human. He hides his emotions, but they’re very strong and very human. I know they are.”
“Emotion isn’t limited to humanoid species. And you have to remember that the Roven’s normal state is to inhabit a body. They apparently can’t survive for long in their pure energy state. So expressing themselves through a human body is as natural to them as to you and me. But the difference is that we’re stuck with our bodies. Your friend inhabits a strong body now that’s still in its prime, but if that body is injured, trapped, or grows old, it’ll leave that body and find a new host, young and healthy.”
She was thankful for the wall at her back. Without its support she feared she’d be on the floor. “You sound like you’re defending him.”
“I’m not defending him. I want him dead. But you wanted an explanation, and I’m telling it to you the way it was told to me.”
She stared at him. “So what you’re telling me is that they’re in effect immortal, almost like Gods.”
Rayn laughed. “Well, a God is the last thing I’d call your friend, but he probably thinks of himself as such. Apparently the only way to destroy a Roven is to drive it from its host and prevent it from taking a new host.”
“He told stories about Gods.”
“Probably telling stories of his own kind, passed down through the centuries—embellished, of course, to hide the truth.”
Suddenly she was curious about something. “Rayn, could you probe him?”
He hesitated, then answered softly. “Not deeply. His mental powers are far beyond mine.”
She wondered what it had cost Rayn to admit that, then stupidly realized how small a sting that was compared to what she had cost him with her infidelity. She didn’t know what more to say.
He continued, saving her the embarrassment of silence. “Their minds are more powerful than those of even the strongest dens. Part of their self-defense mechanism seems to be to give off a kind of energy that’s extremely painful to humans.”
She nodded, grateful they could agree on something. “I tried over and over to probe him, but I couldn’t, either. It was painful, as you said.”
“And you didn’t think that was strange?”
There he was, turning everything back on her, but she supposed she deserved it, and more. Still, she tried to explain. “I thought it was a kind of burn, that his emotions were too powerful. Remember that I don’t have the experience of the dens in these matters, Mr. All-knowing.” She paused again. “What do you think would happen if I confronted him with the truth?”
“I don’t know. Most likely he’d deny everything.”
“You were telling him that you knew what he was, weren’t you?”
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