by E. C. Land
I’d cried for him when he’d told me the little bit of what he’d endured while in Justin’s care. I now knew I could talk to him about what happened throughout the past two years because he was able to open up and do the same with me.
Does this mean I don’t have my freak out moments every day? Nope, I do. I have the nightmares to go with them as well. If not for Lex being there for me, letting me know I’m safe from the evil of the world, I don’t know what I’d do. Probably move as far as I can away from this area. If I did that though I’d miss my family and most of all I’d miss being around Lex.
Shaking my head, I sit up and cross my legs as I turn to face Lex. “You know what I mean. I want to get out of the house, go for a ride, I don’t care. Just want away from the property for a bit,” I murmur.
Grinning, Lex leans forward and for the first time places a kiss against my mouth.
Holy smokes, Lex kissed me.
You’d think with what all I’ve been through I’d be freaking out right about now and I guess I am but not in the way that I want to run away from Lex. No, instead it’s the opposite.
See, another thing I’d been doing is having group sessions with all the ol’ ladies from the club along with Bethany and Alexis. It was Cleo’s idea. I’d met her before Lex carried me out of the clubhouse. She’d come in the room I’d been resting in, introduced herself, and said they would be by the house Thursday for a talk with me.
I didn’t know what to expect until Cleo explained. Each one of the women shared their stories with me. I knew then that if these amazing, tough women could overcome what they’ve been through so could I. Long as I did it with the support of those around me. Which is exactly what Lex and even Anabelle have been doing, granted she doesn’t know the full story, she knows I was raped. Lex had asked me not to tell her. As her big brother he wanted to shield her from what’s going on. I don’t blame him for being her protector. If I had a big brother, that is what I’d want him to do for me as well. Too bad I’m an only child. Having my best friend live with me has been awesome. Means I’m not completely in the limelight.
“I’ve got an idea; I’m going to go speak with the guys really quick. While I’m gone, change into a pair of jeans, boots, and I’d suggest a hoodie. It’s cool outside. With what we are gonna do, you’ll need it.” He says, hopping off the bed and stretching.
“Should I be nervous?” I ask as I also climb off the bed.
“Nope, just going to see if they want to join in on the fun,” he chuckles.
“O-o-okay,” I shrug and move toward his walk-in closet to where my clothes now reside on one side of it. Not just a few articles. Nope. My entire wardrobe is inside it. Evidently, my mom and dad have agreed to let me move in with Lex as they’ve decided to put my childhood home up for sale and until it’s sold have gone on vacation for the time being.
Maybe I should be hurt or even sad they are selling the house but, in all honesty, I’m not.
Doing as Lex said I strip out of the clothes I’d been wearing and slip on a pair of jeans. Picking a hoodie, I snag it off the hanger and throw it on over the ‘A Demon’s Among Us’ t-shirt I’d stolen from Lex. I knew he was in a band, who didn’t, but other than on the internet, I’ve never seen him play live. Because they practice at the music shop, they all own together, I haven’t even heard them practice.
By the time I have my boots on, Lex comes back in the room, smiling. “You ready, baby?”
“I guess so,” I shrug, nervous about what he has planned.
“Alright, Chaz isn’t coming with us because Bethany isn’t feeling too hot today plus, she’s due any day now. Tanner and Hunter are coming along, Alexis all but pushed Tanner toward the door. Said she wanted a nap without him hovering over her,” Lex chuckles as he walks across the room.
“Well, she is pregnant, too. I’m sure she is exhausted,” I murmur, my eyes following Lex. My mouth waters at the sight of him as he strips off the shirt he was wearing and drops his sweatpants. “Umm, what are you doing?”
“I’m changing, baby. What does it look like I’m doing? Can’t go out in my sweats,” he grins.
“I-I know that, Lex, I’m talking about you stripping in front of me,” I stammer.
“Did I not just kiss you?”
“You did.”
“Then, baby, that means you’re starting to grow more comfortable around me. You’re in my bed and every night you wrap yourself as tight as you can around me. You wear my shirts and I fuckin’ love that shit. I’m taking shit with you slow as fuck, but you gotta know all of me,” he states pulling out a pair of jeans from his dresser and slips them on.
“I do know you.”
“You don’t, Mackenzie. For the past month, I’ve been focused on making sure your mind is at ease. You were healing both mentally and physically. Does that mean I’m going to push myself on you now? Fuck no. When it comes time for me to sink deep inside your body, baby, that’s going to be for you to make the first move. I will; however, start making sure to kiss that mouth as much as I can. Because I gotta tell you, those lips are softer than I’ve dreamed of.”
Holy smokes.
Speechless, I merely stare at Lex as he finishes getting ready. My mind ponders over everything he’d just said. From the fact he’s dreamed of my lips to the fact he’s going to wait for me to make the first move when it comes to us having sex.
“Would it make me a slut for loving the idea of you being inside me?” The question falls from my lips before I can stop myself.
Lex who was bent over pulling on a boot glances up at me, his eyes studying my face. “Mackenzie, nothing about you is slutty. And the fact you love the idea of me being deep in your pussy makes me not want to leave this room.”
My breath hitches and my body tingles. Before I can find the words, he continues.
“However, we’re going to. We’re going to go have some fun. Then this evening I’m ordering us Mexican for dinner. We’ll eat while watching a movie. Afterwards, I plan to stretch out next to you on the bed and I’m going to make out with you like I’ve always wanted to.”
Well, okay then. That sounds good to me considering my body has always belonged to him. It always has. I used to dream of my first time being with him and that was taken from me, as well as Lex, now that I know it’s always been me for him.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath like Cleo told me to do whenever my mind started going down that road. “Move forward always. Never look back. It’s only then that they still control you.” Her words ring in my head.
“Ready to go have some fun?” Lex asks, pulling me back out of my head.
Smiling, I nod my head, “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Good,” he murmurs, holding his hand out for me to take.
Taking his hand, I allow Lex to pull me from the room.
Chapter Nine
Lex
Today for the first time in a long fuckin’ time I have laughed as much as I have in, I honestly don’t remember.
Tanner, Hunter, and I took Mackenzie out on the trails behind the house on the four-wheelers. I laughed with my Starlight as she’d clung to me when I whipped into a mudhole. I also laughed when she’d start laughing when I sped down a straightaway. Tanner and I ended up in a race at one point. It was fuckin’ great. Best of all, Mackenzie seemed to have a blast.
Earlier today when I’d pressed my lips to hers, I’d wanted more. Then when she asked if it made her a slut for wanting me inside her, I’d nearly taken her right then and there. The need to show the opposite is strong but I won’t take anything that far. Not without her making the first move. I will; however, make sure to kiss her as much as possible.
When we’d gotten back from our afternoon of fun, I’d let Mackenzie go take her shower first. I wanted to check on Anabelle anyway. She’d been quieter than normal, and I wasn’t liking it too much; however, I was giving her, her space.
Moving to her door, I knock before opening the door. Finding her room empty, I
turn to head back to my room only to stop when I hear the faint sounds coming from my music room. I move to the door and crack it open, only to stop in surprise at the sound of my sister’s beautiful voice.
Shit, how did I not know she was able to sing?
Pushing the door open further, I lean against the doorframe, cross my arms over my chest and listen to her.
Words of an angel sing
Nothing can come between
My heart is his and no one else’s
Speaking from the heavens above
No one is around to hear him but me
Words of an angel to my ear
He is the miracle that keeps me here
My heart belongs to him and no one else
He’s my angel from above
There is no one else I want near me
No one can take the pain away
Only the words of the angel in my dreams
For now, and until time ends
My heart belongs to him and no one else
Never again will I feel nothing but the pain
When he is not here
Words of an angel sing in my ear
Only in my dreams will I be complete
All because my heart bleeds for him alone
I’m beyond words as my sister continues to sing such a heartfelt, yet painful song. Instead of using a keyboard Anabelle’s holding one of the guitars I have in here, her fingers flying across the cords.
Fuck.
Where did she learn to play like this?
Stepping further into the room, Anabelle must have felt me enter the room because she opens her eyes and lifts her head up to meet my gaze.
“Umm, hey,” she murmurs.
“Who taught you to play like that?” I ask.
“I did,” she whispers, her head lowering so that she doesn’t meet my eyes.
“You did?” I ask, not sure if I want to believe her.
“Well, umm, I did, but only after umm, my boyfriend started teaching me.” Her breath hitches as she speaks.
“Boyfriend?” I didn’t even know my sister had a boyfriend. What else hasn’t she told me?
“Derick. He, umm, died six months ago when someone shot him,” she states, her eyes lifting to my own. Tears filling hers as she lightly strums the cords once again.
“Fuck, Anabelle, why didn’t you tell me this?” I ask, moving across the room and kneeling in front of her.
“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I loved him but you would have flipped because he was older than me.”
“How much older?”
“Nineteen.”
“Anabelle, I wouldn’t have been pissed about that, sure if he was twenty-one then fuck yeah, I would be. But nineteen, that was only two years older than you. That’s nothing compared to the age gap between me and Mackenzie,” I mutter.
“Maybe so, but you would have been pissed over the fact I’d had sex and ended up pregnant.” I’m shocked out of my mind at this bit of info. Glancing down at my sister’s stomach I couldn’t tell if she was pregnant or not.
“You’re pregnant?”
“I am,” she nods in confirmation.
“What the fuck, Anabelle? Does anyone know?” I demand, keeping my voice as calm as possible.
“No, I haven’t had the nerve to tell anyone. I wanted to keep a piece of Derick just for myself, at least for a bit, before sharing the news. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Lex, but for once I had something that was for me, then that was taken away. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after the funeral and I didn’t know how to say anything, so I kept it to myself because I had a piece of Derick still with me. I loved him so . . . so much and he’s gone. The pain is too fresh and yet I have a miracle within me.” Lifting the guitar from my sister’s hands, I put it on the floor and pull her into my arms.
“Shh, it’s okay, Anabelle. It’s okay,” I murmur as I hold my sister to me as she cries. Her cries become sobs of pain as she releases all of her pent-up emotions.
I feel like the worst brother in the world for not being there for my little sister. I’ve tried to hide the shit I’ve been going through and what Mackenzie has endured, I didn’t think my sister had her own shit.
Now her world is changing in more ways than one. I’m about to be an uncle to a child I didn’t even know she was carrying, until now. And he or she will be here within months if my calculations are correct.
With her in my arms, I gently stand and carry her out of my music room. Instead of carrying her to her room, I take her to my room. As much as I wanted to spend the evening alone with Mackenzie, Anabelle needs me and her best friend more.
Chapter Ten
Mackenzie
Snuggling deeper into the warmth of the covers, I try to fall back to sleep. Only when my brain clicks on, I realize that warmth I’m feeling is coming from Lex’s body do I wake fully.
Lex is holding me.
This is the first time since we’ve slept in his bed together that he’s ever held me while I slept. Sure, I’ve curled into him but never has he held me like this in my sleep. Where my backside meets his front and . . . holy mother of . . . h-he, Lex is not a small guy. Hell, he’s not your average guy.
Which shouldn’t be surprising but damnit I’ve never felt anything like that. It should freak me the hell out. I’m betting if it were any other man it would too. However, this is Lex we’re talking about. He’s special in every way. Last night instead of the two of us making out in bed like he had said. Our plans changed because Anabelle broke some shocking news and he needed to take care of her. I didn’t think I could love him any more than I already did, but at that moment, I fell deeper.
I’d been surprised to find out my best friend was pregnant. Then again, if I hadn’t been so absorbed in my own shit, I would have noticed how Anabelle started wearing t-shirts and hoodies more often.
With the way our school year goes we both graduated in January after finishing all of our courses in the first semester. I didn’t want to walk across the stage and neither did she so it worked out great for us. Anabelle was able to conceal her exceedingly small bump until last night.
I knew about her and Derick, he adored Anabelle as if she were the only woman in the world for him. He wanted to marry her when she turned eighteen. His birthday was a couple days after he’d been killed. My best friend was devastated and still is from the way she was last night. No one can blame her either, Derick was it for her. She’d been head over heels for him from the day he asked her out our sophomore year in high school to the day he was killed.
I didn’t know she’d kept this information from her brother for so long. I’d honestly been surprised.
“Hmm, my Starlight,” Lex murmurs against my neck as he pulls my body further into his.
I smile to myself as I soak up all that is Lex in this moment. He’s more than just a man, he’s smart, sweet, and protective. At this thought I know I want more with him. No, I need more with him. He’s the one I’ve always wanted to be with, and I want to feel all of him.
Heart, body, and soul.
Just as I want to give him mine.
To combine us together and become one.
I want what my parents have with Lex.
Rolling in his arms, I cock one of my legs over his and lift a hand to palm the side of his face. I lift my gaze from his mouth to meet his darkened eyes. “I love you, Lex, make me yours,” I murmur softly.
“Baby,” he murmurs just as softly. The muscles in his arms tighten around my body, holding me firmly to him. “You already are mine, Mackenzie.”
“You know what I mean. I want you, Lex. All of you, please.” I don’t give him a chance to answer, instead lift my head in order to capture his lips in a kiss, I hope he feels as deep as I do.
It doesn’t take Lex more than a few seconds to understand this is exactly what I want. Loosening his hold around my waist, he lifts one of his hands to wring his fingers through my hair. Opening his mouth, he uses his tongue to coa
x mine open, which I do without hesitation, and enters my mouth with invitation. As Lex’s tongue dances with my own, he glides his free hand along my side, under my shirt.
My body begins to heat in places it’s never known anything but abuse.
Releasing my mouth, Lex kisses my jaw line to my neck before lifting his head long enough to stare down at me with a question. He must have seen what he was looking for because one minute he seems perplexed, the next, Lex’s mouth was back on mine as he plunders in and devours mine.
Taking complete control of the moment is what he’s doing, and I absolutely love it. His hand under my shirt moves at the same time he releases my hair. All of a sudden Lex rips his mouth from me and my shirt is jerked over my head, leaving me clad in only my panties.
At least I’d put on my sexiest pair when I’d gotten out of the shower yesterday when we’d gotten back to the house.
“Baby, fuck you’re gorgeous,” Lex utters, the expression on his face one I’ll never forget. Not with the way his midnight eyes soften with what I believe can be nothing more than the love he has for me shining through.
“Has anyone ever eaten that pussy of yours, Starlight?” he asks as he braces his body up on one arm and trails his other down the center of my chest to the vee between my legs where he cups me over my panties.
Oh my God.
“No,” I whisper softly as I shake my head. My breath hitches and my stomach feels as if there were butterflies fluttering around in it.
Lex’s nostrils flare at my admission. “Mackenzie, before we take this any further. I want you to know, if at any point you start to feel uncomfortable or want it to stop, you say so. I’m not going to push you to do anything you don’t want to do. Nor will I pressure you for something you’re not ready for, okay?”
God knows, can Lex get any more perfect for me?
