Lucas felt his own throat swell with emotion, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Jenna swipe at her cheeks. He wondered if she was remembering her own wedding day.
Geoff cleared his throat and continued. “Emily is God’s gift—a gift beyond belief to me—and I thank each of you for coming today to witness our vows and to share our joy as we commit our lives to each other. On this day—this sacred day—we want to first of all honor the memory of Manny and of Cynthia. Our loved ones are safe in God’s care now, and we’d like to think they both approve of the choices we’ve made.”
A low murmur of approval rose from the wedding guests, and Lucas held his breath as Geoff handed the mike to Ma.
But when she spoke, her voice was strong and clear. “It has been a rough year—two years—” She looked up at Geoff with a sad smile.
It struck Lucas that he didn’t know much about Geoff’s first wife. For some reason he’d always assumed she’d been gone for some years, but apparently her death had occurred within the past couple of years. That explained why his mom and Geoff understood each other so well.
He felt himself warm a little more toward this man his mother was marrying.
Facing the wedding guests, Ma hesitated, collecting herself, Lucas knew.
Then she looked up, smiling, eyes shining. The Ma he remembered from before the fire.
“Geoff and I found each other,” she said, “at a time when our worlds had been shaken, when our faith had been tested. I will never doubt that God gave us to each other when He knew we desperately needed each other. Because that’s the kind of God we know. We wanted this day—this Valentine’s Day—to be a celebration of the hope God has given us, of the healing we’ve experienced at His hands. Painful, sometimes—like a surgeon’s wounds—but ultimately for our good.”
She paused and looked up at Geoff. He gave an encouraging nod, and she continued. “What God has done for us, He wants to do for each of you. Whether your problems are large or small, whether your pain is deep or … fading, God knows the burden you carry, and He knows your needs better than you do.
“Now, before my kids accuse me of preaching a sermon”—she looked from Lucas to each of his sisters and winked—“I’d better sit down.”
“Oh, no you don’t!” Geoff laughed and pulled her close. “You can’t sit down before we seal the deal.”
The minister pronounced them man and wife, and Geoff kissed Ma soundly. The laughter floating through the chapel was musical.
Lucas glanced at Jenna, expecting to share a smile, and was stunned to realize she was weeping.
It worried him that she’d been crying during the wedding.
39
The hotel restaurant was packed, and even though they had a table in the back of the dining room, Lucas had to shout over the hubbub to talk to his sisters.
But it was joyous noise. It seemed everybody in the restaurant was in a celebratory mood, and their party of fourteen—all of his family, Geoff’s elderly father and several other relatives, plus the minister and his wife—were no exception.
At the head of the table Geoff beamed and Ma absolutely glowed. It was impossible not to be happy for them.
They lingered over dessert and coffee, laughing while Baba told stories about Victoria, Gina, and Lucas. Luc squeezed Jenna’s hand under the table. Though she joined in the conversation and smiled in all the right places, he could tell there was something on her mind. He was eager to talk to her alone. It worried him that she’d been crying during the wedding. It had seemed like far more than the usual weepy female tears he’d seen at weddings before.
When they’d finished dinner, they sent Geoff and Ma on their way—back to Geoff’s house, Lucas suspected. Ma and Geoff’s house, he corrected. That would be hard to get used to.
After Geoff’s relatives had said their good-byes, Luc and Jenna stood in the lobby of the hotel with his sisters and Abi and Baba talking. They were all staying the night here in the hotel, but Jenna had to work tomorrow, so she was driving back to the Falls and he’d decided to head back to Tulsa to save a little money.
She touched his arm. “I probably should go,” she said, stepping away from the noisy knot of Vermontezes.
He held up a hand. “Hang on … Let me say good-bye and I’ll walk you to your car.”
“It’s okay, Luc. You stay and spend time with your family.”
“No. I need to get on the road, too.”
They said their good-byes and walked into the brisk night air. A few random snowflakes peppered the sky, and their breaths mingled in puffs of white.
“I’m glad I got to come,” Jenna said, wrapping her scarf tighter about her neck.
“Are you cold?” Without waiting for an answer, he opened his suit coat and drew her inside the folds, keeping his arm around her. “I’m glad you got to come, too.”
They fell in step beside each other and walked in silence for a few minutes. Her hair smelled like one of the flowers in Pop’s garden—the name escaped him just now, but he inhaled her scent, soaking in simply being with her again. It seemed much longer than a week ago that he’d left the Falls.
She fit beneath his arm as if she were made to go there. He even seemed to walk with less of a limp with her beside him.
She must have noticed, too, because she leaned her head back and looked up at him. “I just realized you’re not using your cane.”
“Who needs a cane when I’ve got you for a crutch?”
She smiled at that.
“No,” he said, “I’ve been doing pretty well without it during the training. I start to get a little gimpy toward the end of the day, but not too bad.”
“That’s great, Luc. Really great. So, you like it there?”
“I do. Sparky is already an old pro. He makes the other dogs look like … like cats.”
That cracked her up. “That’s pretty funny coming from a guy who’s supposedly more of a cat person.” Her smile faded. “Speaking of cats, did your mom mention that I might be getting one?”
“You’re getting a cat?” Why would Ma have known that?
“I wondered about that.” An enigmatic smile played at the corners of her mouth. “So your mom didn’t tell you about … my new housing situation?”
He shook his head. What was going on? And what did any of this have to do with Jen getting a cat?
“I’m not sure how you’ll feel about this,” she said, “but your mom offered to let me stay at your house while you’re in Tulsa—just while I look for a place.”
“She did?” He tried too late to conceal his shock.
“Are you upset?”
“I’m just … surprised.” To put it mildly. Why hadn’t Ma said anything? “Have you moved in yet?”
“No. I’ll probably start moving out of Bryn’s next week—her lease goes till the end of the month. I am taking care of your cat this weekend, though.”
“Ah, so that’s the cat you’re talking about?”
She nodded.
“How is Lucky? Hasn’t chased you up on any countertops yet, has he?”
That earned him a slug. But then she bit her lip, her gaze turning serious. “I hope you’re not mad. If you ever come home for a weekend, I promise I’ll vacate the premises. Just say the word.”
He shook his head. “I won’t be coming home until the training ends. Ma knew that.”
“Yes, that’s what she said. But I’m serious. … If you want to come home, I can get out of there on a moment’s notice. I’m putting most of my stuff in storage. I’m looking at it as if I were staying in a quaint bed and breakfast for a few days.” She looked up at him, apprehension on her face. “You’re upset.”
“No, I’m really not. I’m just … a little surprised Ma didn’t say anything. And honestly—I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself.”
She blew out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “It might have been a tad awkward for you to ask me to move into your house.”
“True.
” If she only knew how much he was beginning to want to ask her just that.
The parking lot came into view and he missed her already. “Do you have time to go for coffee?”
She looked at her watch and made a face. “It’s getting late. … You’re the one who has a long trip back. How about if we drive through for coffee?”
“Deal. Come on, we’ll take my truck. I know where there’s a Starbucks not too far from here.”
They climbed in his pickup, and while they waited for the windshield to defog, he called Victoria to tell them not to wait on him. With the heater blasting, it was cozy in the cab of the truck. He was glad she’d had the idea to drive through, and sorry she wouldn’t be here to keep him company on the drive back to Tulsa.
When they were settled in the parking lot with warm coffee cups in hand, he dared to ask the question he’d been wondering about since the wedding. “Were those just the usual girlie-girl wedding tears today, or were you crying about something else?”
She stared at the cup nestled between her palms and absently flicked the plastic lid with a pearly thumbnail. “I was just … really moved by Emily and Geoff’s words. By your whole family. There’s something about the way you all … see God.” She looked up at him from beneath hooded eyes. “It seems so effortless. For all of you. You seem to take it for granted—not just that God exists, but that He cares about you. That He wants the best for you. I could understand if it wasn’t for what your family has been through … what happened to you”—she nodded toward his legs—“and losing your pop.”
The way she said “your pop” touched him deeply. Hope surged within him and he breathed a silent prayer that God would give him adequate words to share that hope. “Jen, don’t think that we haven’t had moments when we doubted … or at least wondered what on earth God was doing. I sure have. And I know Ma struggled for a while. My sisters, too. We all asked why. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. And honestly, I haven’t gotten the answer to that question yet.”
She seemed to grab on to his words, as if something vital hung in the balance.
“I’ve gotten past the need to know. There’s just this … feeling inside. Peaceful, I guess is the best way to explain it. I know God has everything under control and whatever happens, as long as I know that, I’m okay.”
“I wish I felt that way. I really do. Your mom talked about healing being like—”
“A surgeon’s wounds.” He nodded. “Man, could I relate to that. Sometimes it hurts to heal.” He reached for her hand. “The point is, Jen, healing does happen. I hated every minute of all the surgeries I’ve had on these legs.” The pain in even the memories surprised him. “But if not for them, I probably wouldn’t be walking today. My surgeons did what they did to help me get better. God’s the same.”
“I wish I could believe like you,” she said again.
“I want that for you, too, Jen. To believe how much God loves you. To have a faith that understands what true love is. It’s all I want for you, because it’s all that really matters.”
She opened her mouth as if to say something, paused like a diver uncertain of the water’s depth, then dove in. “Do you believe God answers prayers?”
Wow. Where had that come from? He thought for a moment, forming his thoughts carefully. “I heard a pastor say once that God always answers, but the answer isn’t always yes.”
“I’ve been praying—like you asked me to.”
“You have?” She’d said it like she was confessing a sin, and he took a quick sip of coffee, hiding a smile behind his cup.
She nodded. “Maybe it’s not right, but I’ve been doing an experiment. You said once that we should always ask God when we need something or when we’re trying to make a decision.”
He didn’t remember the conversation, but apparently he’d given good advice.
“So I told God I needed a place to stay until I can find an apartment. That same day your mom came in to the store and offered to let me stay at your house. I didn’t even ask. She just offered.”
“That’s cool, Jen!”
“And then I prayed that you’d have a really good week in Tulsa, and you did.” She looked like a little girl who’d just found a quarter from the tooth fairy under her pillow.
Now he was humbled. God was up to something. Oh, Father, thank You. Thank You for answering those prayers.
He decided to tell her something he hadn’t intended to, but the time seemed right. So right.
He angled himself in the seat, the better to see her beautiful face. “You know, God’s been answering my prayers, too. I wasn’t too crazy about the way He was going about it at first.”
She tilted her head, waiting, curiosity on her face.
“When I first found out about Tulsa, I thought that was God’s way of saying it was over for us.”
She frowned. “Us?”
He nodded. “I thought maybe that was God’s way of solving my Jenna problem.”
“Oh, so now I’m a problem?”
“You know what I mean.” He looked down at her with a half smile. “I thought if you were hours away, you’d be easier to forget.”
“And how’s that working out for you?” She shot him an ornery grin.
“Turns out you’re pretty memorable.”
“Ah-ha!” she crowed. “I knew it!”
“Don’t be so smug.” He drained his coffee cup. “But seriously, Jen, I have to wonder if this isn’t exactly what’s best for us right now.”
“Never getting to see each other?” She frowned.
He nodded. “We can e-mail and text and talk on the phone. This way we get to know each other without all that kissing getting in the way.”
“Oh, yeah, that icky kissing.” Her comical face made him laugh.
He ran a finger down the slope of her nose and proved his own point, overwhelmed by the desire he always fought when he was with her. “And on that note, Ms. Morgan, I’d better take you back to your car. We both have a long road ahead of us.”
He drove her back to the campus parking lot, pulling up beside her car. “I’ll make sure your car starts. But first, I just have one question for you.” He took her hand in his, grinning.
“What’s that?”
“Will you be my valentine?”
She laughed. “I’d be honored.”
He turned serious and held her gaze, caressing her hand with his thumb. It was a good thing they were headed in opposite directions.
She looked away, then caught his eye again. “What? What is it?”
“I think you know what,” he whispered. “I really, really want to kiss you right now.”
“Well, now.” With a self-satisfied smile, her eyes never leaving his, she pulled her hand from his and opened the passenger door. “That would mess up God’s reason for sending you away, wouldn’t it?”
He chuckled all the way back to Tulsa.
Jenna had been in a fog ever since she’d left Springfield Saturday night.
40
Monday, February 16
Oh, Jen, I’m going to miss you so much.”
“Me, too.” Jenna hugged Bryn tight, but she laughed through her tears. “Somehow I think you’d trade me in a heartbeat for the roommate you’re getting in exchange.” She winked at Garrett, who stood with a moving box on his shoulder awaiting her instructions. “That can go in the trunk.”
“Got it.” He gave a mock salute, hefted another box under his other arm, and headed out the door.
“Thanks, Garrett,” she called after him. “He’s a keeper, B.”
Bryn beamed. “You don’t have to tell me that.”
Jenna looked around the apartment that had been her home for almost three months.
“Is that everything?” Bryn followed her gaze around the room. “Man, it’s starting to look really empty in here.”
“You’re probably happy to have the space back.”
“Only because it’s that much less stuff we have to move out Thursday. Garr
ett doesn’t have much room at his place—I mean our place—and Dad will croak when he sees the mountain of boxes I’m taking out there.”
“How is your dad? I haven’t heard for a while.”
“Better, I think. He seems a little stronger every day, but this winter’s been hard on him. I’ll be glad when it warms up and he can get outside some.”
Jenna would be glad when it warmed up, too, because that would mean it was almost time for Luc to come home.
“Tell your dad I’m thinking of him, B. And thanks again for everything. I can never thank you enough for taking me in and—”
“Forget it, Jen. You’d do the same for me in a heartbeat.”
“Well, I hope you never need the kind of help you gave me, but if you do …” She swallowed back tears and reached to hug Bryn again.
Jenna had been in a fog ever since she’d left Springfield Saturday night. Her brain was on overload between the move, the new developments in her relationship with Lucas, and most of all, the new development in her relationship with God.
She still choked up every time she remembered that simple moment in the car on the way home from Springfield. In some mysterious way she didn’t quite grasp yet, she had met God face-to-face.
There’d been no drama, nothing outward that anyone could see. But inside she felt pure and clean and right. The closest thing she could compare the experience to was the way she’d felt the day she’d chosen to forgive Bryn. Except now she understood the source of her peace. Forever after she would look back on the instant she’d believed and know that in that moment she had been changed—profoundly and forever—and she would never go back.
She’d shared a little with Bryn and been rewarded as if she’d done something Pulitzer-worthy. But she felt the need to hold things close to her heart for a while as she tried to understand and sort out everything that had happened inside her.
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