Don't Let Go

by Michelle Lynn

  “It’s yours, Brady…all yours,” I answer, and place my hand on the back of his head while he continues to trail kisses up my neck.

  “Don’t forget it, baby. When you see all those frat guys tonight, don’t forget who you belong to.” I see the insecurity in his eyes. He’s suddenly afraid that I’m going to change my mind about him. How could he ever think that?

  “Hey,” I say, turning around. I place my hands on either side of his face and bring it down to me. “I’m yours…always. You never have to question that.” I get up on my tiptoes and kiss him. “Okay?”

  “Okay, it’s just…we are going to a place that holds good and bad memories for you. Maybe you will think I’m not enough,” he admits and my heart breaks.

  “For once, it’s you who doesn’t get it,” I laugh.

  “What?” he asks with no trace of humor.

  “You are it for me. Game over. I’m yours…and you’re mine.” I wrap my arms around his neck and rest his forehead against mine.

  “Well, those guys wouldn’t have gotten you disowned by your family,” he sadly says, revealing where this sudden insecurity comes from.

  “Brady, it’s not your fault my dad disowned me. I don’t care about the money or the car. All that matters to me is you. If I can only have one in my life, I prefer it to be you. It’s my dad’s problem, Brady, not ours.” I give him a chaste kiss.

  “But your degree, Sadie. I wish I had the money to pay for your last semester. I feel guilty because I get mine for free.”

  “It will all work out. If I have to take a semester off, it will only give me more time to spend with you,” I joke, holding him firmly against my body.

  “Sadie…” he sighs.

  “No, Brady, let’s just enjoy tonight. I will have enough heavy conversation with my mom tomorrow. Take me to your gig,” I say and Brady chuckles at the wording I use. “Then take me back to your place and make love to me all night,” I request.

  “With pleasure, babe,” he says and holds out his arm for me to take. I grab my purse and position my arm through his, letting him escort me out of the room.

  Cars align the street and co-eds mingle in the front yard. The shadows of people fill the windows of the house and a sudden pain fills my stomach. Brady entwines his fingers with mine, looking down at me. “You sure?” he questions and I nod my head in agreement. “Let’s get this over with,” he says and guides us up the walkway.

  The stares are automatic but for the first time, I realize it’s mostly girls, admiring my boyfriend. I remind myself this isn’t Drayton. Just because we are at frat party doesn’t mean it will be the same. This is just a college party, nothing more. What happened at Drayton was because of the people, not because it was a fraternity.

  Walking through the doorway, I’m taken aback by how crowded the room is. Wall to wall college students fill every inch of the house. Brady squeezes my hand harder, leading me to the makeshift stage. From the way he knows his way around, I assume he has been here before. The rest of the guys are already setting up and Jessa sits on the stage, observing them.

  “Hey, guys,” she says, sitting up straighter. With one more squeeze of my hand, Brady bends down and kisses me before hopping up on the stage. I walk over to Jessa and ask, “Hey, how long have you guys been here?”

  “Not long. Don’t take this wrong, but how on earth did you hang out with all these people,” she comments and glares across the room.

  “I didn’t know any better,” I joke and knock her shoulder with mine.

  “Now that you do, let’s keep it that way,” she laughs, knocking me back.

  I look up when I hear a familiar deep voice. It’s Grant talking to the guys and I’m surprised to see Brady speaking back politely. After he finishes telling them some stuff, Grant makes his way to me and I notice Brady’s eyes follow.

  “Hey, Sadie,” he says, looking at me, then Jessa, and back to me.

  “Hi, Grant. This is my roommate, Jessa,” I inform him, motioning back and forth. “Jessa, this is Grant.”

  “Hi, nice to meet you,” Grant says, putting his hand out.

  “You too.” She shakes his hand back and I see her eyes peruse his body before a smirk appears. Huh, I wonder if Rob noticed that.

  “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks and I bite my lip, glancing over to Brady, who is watching us while setting up a microphone.

  “Sure,” I agree, but not moving away since there’s no way Brady won’t follow.

  “I’ll leave you guys to it,” Jessa says and stands up to help the guys.

  “Everything work out? Vince told me you found him and Brady together,” he divulges.

  “Um…yeah. Brady filled me in. Thank you. Whether you want to recognize it or not, you are a good friend to Brady. He might not say it but I know he appreciates it,” I tell him.

  “I’m glad you know the truth,” he states, looking down at his shoes. “You went to Drayton, right?” he asks and I wonder why the change of topic.

  “Yes, why?” I answer.

  “Well…I guess some of the guys met a couple guys from our frat in Drayton at a party during Thanksgiving. Anyway, there are two guys here and I wanted to give you a heads up.”

  “Oh,” I mumble. Why does Grant think I need a heads up? What does he know?

  “Sadie, I don’t know if it even matters,” he says, as if reading my mind. “I just thought there must be a reason you transferred senior year and thought you deserved to know. I just told Brady before coming over to you.” He looks toward Brady and my eyes follow. He is setting up the drums with Trey and not even looking our way, showing me he trusts me with Grant now.

  “What did he say?” I ask.

  “He wanted to cancel the show and leave, but the guys convinced him to stay. Now I guess you have me as your bodyguard for the night, at least until the show is over.” He smirks up at me. “I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to tell me. But you are right. Brady is a friend, no matter what has happened between us. You’re his girlfriend so I will help him out.” For the first time, it dawns on me how close they must have been to put all of their issues aside for tonight. I vaguely wonder if it was Grant who Brady called when we were at Niagara Falls.

  “Thank you, but I don’t need protection. I think Brady is just feeling a little overprotective right now.” I glance up at him on stage. He still makes my heart skip a beat and my breathing erratic. Tonight his hair is gelled into a faux Mohawk and the black bands wrap around his wrist. The jeans hang low with his Converse and his black hoodie.

  “Please, just let me stand by you while Brady’s performing?” he asks and I nod, agreeing.

  Grant goes off to get us some drinks before The Invisibles start to play. Jessa bounces back to me, asking a million questions about who Grant is, how I know him, and any information about him. I look at her questioningly and she laughs at me, stating she’s just curious and to stop reading into it. Brady jumps off the stage and walks toward me.

  “You okay, baby?” he whispers in my ear. “We can leave right now,” he says.

  “No…I probably don’t even know them. I’m surprised though you are allowing Grant to be my bodyguard,” I remark, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “He’s the only one I would trust you with…besides me,” he admits, pulling me closer.

  “You didn’t feel that way a few weeks ago,” I remind him.

  “It was a grudge I needed to let go. He came and warned us ahead of time. He has always had my back, I’ve just been a jackass these past few years,” he informs me.

  “Well, go finish your show so you can be my bodyguard,” I say, kissing his chin.

  “Stay close to Grant and if you need me just give me a signal, okay?” The worried look on his face makes me uneasy.

  “It will be fine, just go,” I tell him, giving him a nudge toward the stage.

  “Hold up, one good luck kiss.” He brings my face to his before thrusting his tongue possessively into my
mouth, making my whole body heat up. “Love you.”

  “Love you,” I whisper to him before he jumps on stage.

  Grant is at my side as soon as Brady pulls the microphone off the stand. Jessa stands on the other side of me.

  “Okay, everyone ready?” Brady’s voice fills the room and it quiets down a bit. “We are going to start this off fast and aggressive, any problems with that?” he questions and everyone screams. Does he know what a great stage presence he has? “Alright then…I’m going to get a little sappy first. When I first saw my girl, this song came into my head and I haven’t been able to shake it. Sorry, babe, I haven’t told you this but here it goes…I want to see a lot of jumping and singing along, got that?”

  Trey starts beating the sticks together and I know the song from the drum beat. When the guitar and bass fill in, I’m astonished by the song choice. Brady’s voice comes over the microphone and he finds me in the audience, giving me a wink before he starts singing, “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick. I’m oddly flattered and surprised that, out of all of the songs in the world, this song came into his head when he first saw me.

  The crowd goes crazy. Drunk people thrash their bodies around, enjoying the band. Grant holds me by my arm to keep me steady and I grab Jessa in response. Everyone sings along including Jessa, who I jokingly question her with my eyes but she playfully slaps my shoulder. Brady’s eyes find mine periodically throughout and I blow him a kiss up to the stage. I glance at Grant. He doesn’t seem to be having fun at all so I take his hand and then put his other hand in Jessa’s, making us all dance together. His eyes divert to Jessa, appearing embarrassed. It only lasts a second before they are both dancing around. The three of us are in our own world, and even Grant sings along to the songs as The Invisibles continue playing their own after the Cheap Trick tribute. As the night goes on, I suddenly start to feel like the third wheel between Jessa and Grant. Brady smirks over at me with raised eyebrows, obviously noticing it too. My eyes find Rob, who seems more interested in flirting with some girls standing in front of the stage. I watch him for a while and he never even glances Jessa’s way. I start to think my first instinct about Rob was accurate.

  “Okay everyone, we are going to take a break,” Brady announces. “Continue partying and drinking. The more you drink, the better we sound,” he jokes. I wonder if it bothers him being around alcohol like this because of his dad.

  “Hey baby, are you enjoying yourself?” He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me into his sweaty body.

  “I am,” I confirm, kissing him.

  “You want anything?” he asks, taking a gulp of his water bottle.

  “No, I’m good now,” I answer. Jessa and Grant have moved over to the side of the stage and are talking to each other. Dex and Trey sit on the stage with their feet dangling while swarms of girls circle around them. I don’t see Rob anywhere, but Jessa doesn’t appear to be looking very hard for him.

  “What’s up with that?” Brady motions his head in Jessa and Grant’s direction.

  “I don’t know,” I respond and smile curiously up to him. “I have to admit, I felt like I was imposing after a while.”

  “I noticed,” he agrees while his eyes search the crowd.

  We stand together, him holding me from behind, slowly kissing my shoulder and neck like always. He is whispering things he will be doing to me later while my body heats in anticipation. “Sadie Miller, is that you?” a voice calls over and when my eyes meet his, my stomach drops. Before the guy can even approach, Brady is on one side of me and Grant is on the other.

  “Hi, Jeff,” I say. It’s Jeff Soren, the last guy I slept with at Drayton.

  “I thought I heard you transferred here,” he remarks, glancing first at Brady and then at Grant. He leans in as though he wants to give me a hug, but Brady steps up to him.

  “Jeff, this is my boyfriend, Brady.” I signal my finger at him. “And this is my friend, Grant.” I signal to him and he steps up next to Brady. I’m practically hidden behind their two large bodies.

  “Uh…hey guys,” Jeff says nervously, waving his hand at them.

  “Hi,” Brady says, straight-faced.

  “Hi Jeff, this is my fraternity house,” Grant informs him.

  “Sorry,” I say and step through the two of them. “Grant told me there were some people here from Drayton. I’m surprised it’s you.” I let Brady and Grant stand beside me.

  “Yeah, it’s just me and Jacobs.” He stands there, appearing uneasy while my two pseudo-bodyguards keep watch.

  “Oh… Miles is here too?” I question, not really knowing what else to say. This situation is entirely too uncomfortable for all of us.

  “I should probably go find him. We miss you at Drayton, Sadie. The girls said they never hear from you. Do you like it here?” he asks sheepishly. Even though he slept with me when I was drunk out of my mind and right after a crying fit over Theo, Jeff Soren has always been a nice guy.

  I look at Brady and a smile lifts my lips automatically, “I do, thank you, Jeff.” He smiles in return.

  “I’m glad, Sadie.” He stands there for a minute and I step forward, hugging him before Brady can say anything. “You look really happy. You deserve it,” he whispers in my ear before I step back and Brady puts his arm around my waist possessively.

  “Bye, Jeff.” I give him a small wave, watching him as he’s swallowed up by the crowd.

  When we turn around, Brady gives me a brief kiss and a wink, noticeably calmer than earlier. Dex and Trey are up on stage getting their instruments ready, while Rob and Jessa are making out in the corner. I look at Grant out of the corner of my eye and notice his tense stance watching them, but when I put my hand on his arm, he smiles my way, trying to appear unfazed.

  The Invisibles start to play again, and the guys and girls pick up where they left off. After the show, the guys pack up the equipment and then go enjoy the party. Grant leaves us, giving one last look in Jessa’s direction. She seems to be enthralled in Rob’s world again. Once Grant turns around, I see Jessa open her eyes, peering over to Grant while Rob’s tongue invades her mouth. I knew she felt something with Grant but wonder if she will admit it to herself. Brady tells him to hold up for a second and the two of them shake hands as Brady says something to him. I can’t explain their friendship, but I’m glad it is starting to head in the right direction.

  Brady tells the band we are leaving and we make our way out the door. His arm is around my waist as he leads me down the sidewalk and that’s when I hear my name again.

  “Sadie…Sadie Miller?” A drunk voice questions and we turn around. “Man, are you a welcome sight. These girls are all a bunch of teases.” He walks toward us and Brady steps in front of me.

  “Whoa, Miles, let’s go.” Jeff runs down the sidewalk, trying to stop him but Miles continues my way.

  “Listen to Jeff, Miles. Go back inside.” I put my hand on Brady’s arm to back up a little and he surprises me by doing it.

  “Come on Sadie, just like old times,” he continues to slur his words and Brady is tensing next to me. I feel it coming.

  “Jacobs, stop talking. I’m really sorry,” Jeff apologizes while looking at Brady, who I’m sure at this point is ready to pounce on Miles.

  “Just get him the hell out of here,” Brady’s low voice speaks with his fists clenched at his sides.

  “Get the fuck off, Soren. You always had a soft spot for Sadie. Even when she was fat, you loved her.” Miles turns toward Jeff and he looks at him in disgust.

  “I suggest you listen to your buddy and leave,” Brady coolly directs Miles, stepping right in front of me.

  “Who the hell are you?” Miles slurs.

  “Her boyfriend.” People have started making their way outside. Grant comes up next to Brady, along with Dex, Trey, and Rob.

  “Man, Sadie, you really had to dig into the bottom of the barrel to find a guy who wouldn’t use you for the good fuck you are.” The minute his words fall out of his mo
uth, I see the fist already rising.

  Brady lands a punch across Miles’ cheek. “Don’t you ever talk to her like that again. Actually, don’t ever fucking talk to her at all.” Brady steps forward as Miles steps back.

  “Fight, Fight,” shouts ring around me and suddenly I’m in the middle of a circle of people chanting and yelling.

  “Listen, man. Believe me, I know she’s good but come on. I was just going to have her for a little while and you can have her back in twenty minutes,” Miles’ cocky voice slurs and Brady hits him again. I notice Dex and Trey are holding Miles from behind now.

  “I really hope Daddy has good medical coverage because he’s going to have one hell of a bill after I’m done with you,” Brady yells and throws another fist into his gut. “Let him go, guys,” he says to Dex and Trey. “I want him to realize what a little piss rich kid he is when he can’t land a punch.” They let Miles go and he lamely tries to punch Brady, who sidesteps away from it.

  Jeff seems to have stepped away after Miles’ comment to him, and the rest of the guys have made their way to me, watching Brady and Miles.

  “Man Sadie, you get your brother killed and you go right out and find someone new that likes to fight. Are you going to get him killed, too?” The whole crowd silences with this revelation and Brady starts throwing punch after punch, screaming at him.

  I watch Brady beat the shit out of Miles and I’m back in the hotel room, watching Theo fight Craig. Jessa wraps her arms around me while sobs explode out of me. Guys like Craig and Miles don’t take embarrassment well. Miles will find Brady and kill him, just like Craig did to Theo.

  “Stop it, someone stop it!” I scream, rocking back and forth on the ground. “Brady!” I yell. Jessa whispers in my ear, telling me it will be okay, but everything in me tells me it won’t. Brady ignores my screams, continuing to punish Miles. I don’t know how it ended, if someone pulled Brady off or if he left on his own, but his arms have replaced Jessa’s and he positions one arm under my shoulders and his other arm under my knees, picking me up.