by S. L. Scott
“Some.” He shrugs.
“Want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s a lot and very fast. Is the wedding upsetting you?”
He sits on the ottoman next to me. His gaze stays out in the distance through the glass. “What does it mean? Derrick said it means he becomes your hubsand.”
“Hus-band, buddy. Yes. It means we become partners.” Taking his hand in mine, I hold it. “We’ll always be partners too. Just like always.”
“So I’ll be your husband too?”
“No,” I reply, amused. “You’ll always be my son. Look at me, Ace.” When he does, I lean down a little more to make sure he understands what I’m saying. “You’ll always be the best thing in my life.”
His head leans on my arm. “What happens when we go home? Derrick said he’s going to Denver.” Looking back up at me, he asks, “Does he not want to be with us?”
“It’s not like that at all, Ace. He does want to be with us. That’s why we’re becoming a family so we can be together. His job means sometimes he has to travel. I wish we could go back to LA together, but he’ll be back in three weeks.”
Popping up, he points outside. “Helicopter.”
“So awesome.” I never see the helicopter because I’m too busy taking in my son. “You know, Ace, I’m the luckiest mommy in the whole wide world because I get to be your mommy.”
He turns and hugs me. “Derrick said he was lucky that he gets to be my daddy.” I exhale slowly, the sweet sentiment hitting me hard on that one. “Is Derrick my daddy?”
“He is, now and forevermore.”
A tissue is dragged out of the box on the desk and Rochelle wipes her eyes. I’d forgotten she was there. Wiggling Ace by the waist back and forth, I say, “Why don’t you go brush your teeth and go potty. We need to leave in a few minutes.”
When he runs off, Rochelle sniffles. “That was beautiful and heartwarming. Ace is fortunate to have such an amazing mom.”
“Thank you and thank you for being so good to me and Ace.”
She stands and shakes off the emotions, but I could use a friend since I don’t have my mom here and she didn’t answer her phone earlier. “Am I making a mistake? Woman to woman. Mother to mother. Be honest with me.”
“I think he made a mistake the first time he let you go. He’s smart enough not to do it again, but let me ask you. We don’t know each other well, but I get a vibe from people.”
“And what vibe did you get from me?”
“You’re a survivor, Jamie. I have a feeling you didn’t just let him go, let him leave and then stop feeling anything for him. I see how you look at him. I see how much you care. I see the love you both share. I don’t need the details, but I do know there’s more to this story. The good part is, your story’s just begun and it’s starting with the happily ever after. So if you’re asking if you should marry him, my answer will never change. Hell, yes. Derrick’s a great guy. He just needed the right woman to remind him of that. You bring out the best in him. I have a feeling he does the same for you.”
“He does. He’s good for my soul.”
“Then don’t question what you already know the answer to. Just listen to your inner voice, the one that’s telling you he’s the one.” I swear we’re interrupted more by knocks on the door than anything else. Rochelle adds, “Let’s buy that soon-to-be husband of yours a ring.”
* * *
The flowers are beautiful. I’m handed a bouquet of perfect roses with the lightest touch of pink. The card read “To match your cheeks” and was given to me when I arrived at the private wedding garden. Derrick had more sweet surprises up his sleeve. When I peeked outside to see how the ceremony spot looked, my mom was standing there with his mom.
The moms come rushing to me and I start crying on the spot. The planner shoves tissues in my direction and the moms dab very carefully at my face. I thought it would be seeing Ace that caused the emotional tearjerker waterfall. He was just so cute and handsome, but it’s seeing them here, together, and crying from happiness that does the trick.
So now, five minutes before I’m supposed to get married, I find myself standing in the bathroom salvaging my makeup. Usually when I’m happiest, flashbacks of terror come back to ruin it, but right now, as I look at myself in the mirror, I only see the good, remembering the best times I ever had were with the man I’m about to marry . . .
I sit up in the back of his truck and turn the flashlight back on so I can study a little more before I have to be home. “This math test is going to kill me.”
“You’ll ace it.”
“You always say that.”
“I’m always right.”
I poke his side and laugh when he squirms. “So basically it’s good luck when you tell me I’ll ace it?”
Sitting up, he tugs the collar of my shirt down and kisses the exposed bare skin. “Yes, ace equals good luck.”
I turn and sneak in a quick kiss. “Got it. Ace will always be good luck.”
. . . The tears come fast this time as the memory brings me full circle. Derrick won’t remember that conversation, so insignificant at the time, but one that I always carried with me. My mom comes in with my makeup bag and says, “Let me help you.”
“We’re late,” I say.
“They’ll wait.”
While she touches up my makeup, she says, “He told me he wants us to stay at his house while he’s gone. What do you think, dear daughter?”
“I think we should.” We speak in hushed, conspiratorial tones. “I don’t want Derrick going near the neighborhood.”
“What about you?”
“You and Ace can wait at the house. I’ll go back and pack our bags and hurry back. Just the basics. Enough to get us by for a few days and work out a plan.”
“We’ll figure it before we land. Diane wants to throw a party when Derrick returns.”
Smiling, I reply, “That would be lovely.”
She stands back and inspects my face. “Beautiful as always.”
“Will you walk me down the aisle?”
Her sweet smile has always comforted me and continues to do so. “Of course. Let’s go. I think you’re ready.” I am ready, but hearing my mom’s confidence is all I really needed. She didn’t question our decision. She just smiled and accepted and supported.
My man awaits. My future sealed. Our future sealed.
Stepping into the room that leads outside, I kiss my mom on the cheek and take her hand. “Here Comes My Girl” by Tom Petty starts playing and I laugh. “I’m ready.”
Ace steps forward and grabs my hand and starts tugging. With a huge smile, he says, “Come on, Mommy, race you to Derrick.”
I take his hand and slow him down. “I think we should do this together.” With the two people I love more than anything in this world leading me to the man I love bigger than the universe, the three of us start walking.
37
Derrick
Dipping my head down, I pretend I have something in my eyes. Guess it’s not pretending, but tears are tough for me. You don’t cry where I came from. Fame has made me soft. Nah, I think it’s just made me grateful. The guys are laughing, though, and I may be wrong but when I look at my best man, Kaz seems a little choked up himself. “You sad I beat you to the altar?” I make a lame joke.
He gets it, but being Kaz, he sees through the act and pats me on the back. “It’s only fair. This has been a long time coming.”
It’s been eight years since I saw the girl that would become my wife.
Three of the best and worst years of my life spent together. She was the only saving grace I had. The only reason I fought to stay alive.
Five years since I looked backed. Even in that time, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I can try to not blame my eighteen-year-old self, but I knew I was wrong and living in regret for years makes this moment so much sweeter.
The music starts—some cheesy, but traditional wedding mar
ch and everyone stands. The wooden doors to the garden open and there is the reason I’m standing here today. I will be the man she deserves. My angel floats to me in white, her dark hair flowing around her shoulders. Ace holding one hand and her mom holding the other. Her support. I hope I can bear the burdens she carries from now on. She blinks and then tilts her head down, her emotions getting the best of her. Tears escape the barrier of my lids and damn my male ego as they slip down my cheeks.
Her eyes go wide when she sees Leah standing near the altar, her friend and a confidante that I thanked for taking care of Jaymes and Ace in my absence when I called.
When her mom gifts me Jaymes’s hand, I kiss both of them on the cheek before turning fully to Jaymes, my beauty. And then vows are exchanged.
“. . . The one who will stand by your side, the one who will stay this time. I vow to be the man your son will look up to, not in height, but in character.”
Ace is standing beside his mother because he wanted to be a part of this union, just where he belongs. I fist-bump him before turning back to the woman who has brought tears to my eyes. “I stand before you, my sweet Jaymes, and promise you my love in this life and beyond because you are the only woman my soul knows how to love, to breathe, to protect, and to cherish. I vow my life, trust, honesty, and love to you evermore.” I slide a diamond-encrusted platinum band onto her delicate finger. I love when I take her breath away. Leaning down, I whisper, “We’ll get you any diamond you want, but I thought I’d start with the band today.”
“It’s perfect. More than I could ever wish for.”
My muse for music, for life, for laughter, for love speaks of hardship and sacrifice—two things she knows more about than she should.
She hasn’t had weeks to think these up. They are in and from her heart. Fucking lucky man. “ . . . You are not just the man I love with my entire being, you are the only man worthy of being a father to my son. There is no one else I’d rather him model himself after than the person you have become, the person I always knew you to be. So with this ring, I thee wed for this lifetime and every life after.”
A sleek black and silver band is pressed onto my finger and I smile, admiring the way it looks and feels. I don’t wear any rings now, but I’m never fucking taking this one off. I couldn’t have picked a more me ring than the one she chose.
I’m kind of proud of myself for holding it together as well as I have. I’ve avoided looking at my mom though. She’ll make me cry. In a lot of ways, today is her day as much as mine. When I’m told to kiss my wife, I don’t waste the opportunity. In front of friends and family and friends who are family, I kiss my wife like we’re the only ones in the world. I kiss her until she’s breathless, and then I kiss her again so she remembers it when we’re apart.
But to my surprise, she doesn’t hold back. She doesn’t even worry that we’re in front of the band, the moms, her friend, or even Ace. She gives me a kiss like I’m the last man alive and her life depends on it. Damn my wife’s hot.
She drags that bottom lip under her teeth and then cocks an eyebrow. “Promise me you’ll always kiss me like that.”
“I always keep my promises.”
“That you do.” And we kiss again just because we can.
* * *
A small ballroom has been set with a long table full of flowers. China settings and crystal glasses fill it nicely. We only have time for a luncheon today. The tour can’t wait. Twenty thousand tickets sold out in Denver in fifteen minutes. I have a feeling they’d be happy for me, but not to the point of letting me bail a night or two to celebrate my nuptials.
I watch Jaymes. The smile is there for others, but I can see the sadness underneath. She can barely eat and isn’t really drinking. I know what she’s thinking, what she feels deep down inside. I feel it too. “I don’t want to leave you,” I whisper while everyone at the table celebrates around us.
Our hands clasp between us and she angles her body toward me, our knees touching. “You’ve made me weak.”
“You’re the strongest person I know.”
“I only had one to lose before. Now I have two and my heart hurts.”
“You’re not losing me. Three weeks. You can come to any show, any city. You can be with me.”
“I can’t,” she says and I hear the tremble in her voice. “I have work and school—”
“Don’t work anymore. Just go to school.”
“I have Ace and he has school.”
“You can fly out next weekend. To . . . ummm . . . to. Oh, fuck it. I have no idea. Tommy, where are we next weekend?”
We both look down the table at him and wait while he scrolls his phone. I cover her hand and thigh with my hand, hoping I can comfort her in some way. It’s not going to be easy to leave her, especially knowing that maniac is in the same city, but at least he’s locked away. For now.
Rochelle leans across the table and says, “Chicago.”
Tommy gripes and puts his phone away.
I ask Jaymes, “Want to go to Chicago?”
Ace tells her, “I want to go to Chicago,” but turns to Rochelle to ask, “What’s Chicago?”
Rochelle laughs. “It’s a city in Illinois, but you know, I’ve been wanting to take Neil and CJ to Disneyland. It’s been a while since we’ve gone. I was thinking you might want to join us and stay the weekend at our house.”
His expression is thoughtful when he turns to me, and asks, “What would you choose? Disneyland or Chicago?”
“Dude, Disney hands down.”
To Rochelle, he says, “Disney!”
Dex leans over and says, “Make sure she takes you on the Peter Pan ride. It’s my favorite.”
“Disney! Disney!”
“Ace. Shhhh. Keep it down, buddy.”
“How can I keep it down? I’ve always wanted to go to Disney.”
CJ starts in too. “Disney!”
Neil rolls his eyes. “Kids.”
The table erupts in laughter and my sweet bride is finally smiling again. “So Chicago?”
“Yes. Chicago.”
My flight’s at four, so while the cake is being served, I excuse my wife and myself with the lamest reason ever, but it’s now or never. “We forgot we haven’t packed. So we’re going to go do that. Pack. For our flights.”
Everyone is staring at me, including Jaymes, but she’s the best, so she says, “Stuff everywhere. Yes, we must go pack. We’ll see you guys in a little while.”
It’s when the moms burst out laughing that we turn and hightail out. Her dress is beaded and tight through the body and does this fluffing out thing at the bottom. She said mermaid. Again, I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I want it the fuck off her. “Can I rip these tiny buttons off in the back?”
“No!”
My back hits the elevator and my hands go up in surrender. “Okay.”
She takes a deep breath and says, “You don’t even want to know how much this dress cost, so there will be no ripping of buttons or anything else off it.”
Back in the suite and ten minutes later, the tips of my fingers are killing me and I’m a fucking guitarist. “What are these little torture devices and why’d you pick a dress with a hundred of them?”
“They’re pearl buttons and I fell in love with the dress. Don’t you love it?”
I see the telltale signs of a setup as soon as she asks the question. Her bottom lip even looks a little pouty. “You look gorgeous in that dress. I just wanted it off for comparison.”
“Really?”
“No, Jaymes. I want to fucking consummate our nuptials before I have to fly out of here and not see you for the next five days.”
“Your sarcasm is not warranted—”
“I know and it’s duly noted, but please, baby. I’m begging you. We have thirty minutes until I have to leave for the airport.”
“I kinda like you begging. And trust me, I want this as much as you do. That’s why I packed our suitcases earlier. I’m all yours for the nex
t twenty-eight minutes. I’ll leave two minutes for you to catch your car ride downstairs.”
“Unzip me please.”
My patience is gone. If she wasn’t so damn sexy standing there, shit, who am I kidding? “What do you mean unzip you? I just undid all those little fuckers to get you out of this dress and now you’re telling me there’s a zipper?”
“Well, you looked so determined and eager to figure them out that I didn’t want to ruin the illusion.”
“Show me the zipper.”
She lifts her arm and I find the metal bastard and pull it down with lightning speed. Smart enough not to mess with a horny husband, she steps out of the dress and stands there for me like she just walked off a Victoria’s Secret runway show. “Holy fuck. How’d I get so lucky?”
And there’s that pale pink blush I ordered the flowers to match. Gorgeous.
She taps my watch. “Twenty-five minutes. Time’s a ticking.”
Over my shoulder in a flash, she squeals in delight and whacks my ass. When I toss her on the bed, I have my breath stolen right from my lungs. Whoosh and it was gone from the very sight of her.
The laughter stops and she stretches her arms above her head. “What is it?”
My mouth opens, needing air. Her beauty astounds me, but it’s a life of memories from the past that I see before me. My mind flashing between her lying in bed wearing white lace on our wedding day and back to her in white cotton underwear the first time I stole them and her virginity.
“Derrick?”
Twenty-two minutes and I’d happily spend them looking at her. I start on my shirt, not rushing, just watching her. A soft smile slips into place and I recognize that one—she’s happy. She’s in love. She’s happy in love with me.
Twenty minutes. I lie down and bring her atop me. When she bends down, she kisses me.
Eighteen minutes. I take down one of her straps and then the other. “You look incredible, but we’re running out of time.”
