“Hm-mm. We could elope.”
She raised her brows. “That seems to suggest we have something to be ashamed of.”
He studied her, wondering where her thoughts were leading. “I could have my name legally changed,” he said. “But if we apply for a license, our names will be in the paper."
“And you don’t want to cause me any embarrassment,” she replied.
No, he didn’t. And she’d already made her feelings perfectly clear about letting anyone else know. He shrugged.
“I was wrapped up in my own personal drama when I threatened you.” Her palm flattened against his chest. “I couldn’t cope with it all right then. If others had known before I’d come to terms with it myself, I couldn’t have handled it.”
Dan drew his hand from behind his head and held her by both upper arms. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying—” she tucked her hair behind one ear “—we need to tell the truth.”
Dan’s heart felt like his stomach did when he took an elevator. Lorraine’s eyes didn’t waver from his. “Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Yes.”
“What about all the people who will be hurt?”
“Who?” she asked. “Who will be hurt?”
“Well, the kids—”
“The kids know that you’re their father. They call you Dad anyway. Children are more accepting than adults.”
“You don’t think they’d feel as betrayed as you did?”
“No, I don’t. They didn’t even exist when you made that decision. Thad might require a little more explanation, but I’m sure he’ll understand when he hears the whole story.”
“The whole story?”
“He doesn’t have to know that you thought he was Tom’s. That, or what name you go by, has no effect on his life now.”
“My father... your parents...”
”Gil is the one person who should know. And everyone else will just have to accept it. Are you worrying now about what they’ll think of you?"
Maybe he was.
“I think I was the one with the most at stake, and I still love you,” she said. “Tom and Cedra accepted it and love you. Why would anyone else be different? And if they are, do they matter? You have a sound standing in this community, and that will go a long way.”
He loosened his hold on her arms and brushed his palms over her shoulders. “And you?” he asked. “Will you be okay with everyone knowing?"
She turned her cheek against his fingers. “I don’t think others will pick apart all the legalities like we were forced to do. I’m proud to be your wife, Dan, and in my heart I am your wife. A wedding will simply make it legal.”
“Would a wedding make you happy?”
“You make me happy.”
He cupped her head and raised his to kiss her. The kiss was a solemn affirmation, sealing their plans and their commitment. There would be an initial discomfort involved with revealing the truth, but they would weather it together, and in the long run there would be no more hiding.
Dan hadn’t anticipated the relief he experienced now. His grin ended their kiss.
She placed one finger against his lower lip. “So it really excites you for me to call you Dan, huh?” She slid her body against his.
“It was the only thing missing between us all this time,” he said softly.
“Dan...” Her eyes widened. “Dan!”
Epilogue
“Are you sure these guys are really ever gonna come out of here?” Cedra rubbed her enormous belly and collapsed into a lawn chair a safe distance from where Dan stood, grilling hamburgers. Aromatic smoke billowed around his head and drifted on the Indian summer breeze.
“I’m positive,” Lorrie reassured her, handed her a glass of lemonade and secured all the plates and cups on the picnic table. The boys had set up the badminton set and were arguing over who went first. “No one has ever been perpetually pregnant.”
Cedra took a sip and watched Autumn playing with her dolls on a blanket nearby. “These babies are already fighting and jostling each other.”
“This, my dear sister-in-law, before they’re born, is the easy part. Relax and enjoy it.”
“Enjoy it? I haven’t seen anything below my navel for four months. I’m retaining enough water in this heat to fill your swimming pool, and—— ” she lowered her voice and leaned forward “my sex life is definitely in a slump.”
“Ah,” Lorrie said, sympathetically. “This, too, shall pass.”
“And I’ll have my own body back?”
“Assuredly.”
“I guess I have to believe you.” Cedra leaned back. “You’ve been through it and you and Dan still have the hots for each other.”
Lorrie laughed and settled into a chair beside her. Her gaze wavered to Autumn, now completely recovered, and noted how she slid the clothes on her dolls and snapped the fasteners without a problem. Never a day went by that Lorrie didn’t say a prayer of thanks for Autumn’s life.
And a prayer of thanks for Dan.
Her husband used his hat to fan the fire, raised his head and caught her watching him. An involuntary smile made him raise his brows and grin. “What are you two talking about?”
“How hot it is for this time of year,” she called back.
Beside her, Cedra chuckled.
Lorrie hadn’t thought she and Dan could be any closer, but saying their vows before their family and friends had held more meaning than either of them expected. This time around, they knew what marriage was all about; they understood sickness and health, richer and poorer, and cleaving one to the other.
After an initial explanation, the children had been as accepting as Lorrie had hoped. Thad had voiced a few questions, but from his own experience with Gil, he understood.
Lorrie’s family had been shocked at the news, but because of their deep love for their daughter and for Dan, they’d done their best to be supportive. The community was still a bit puzzled, yet they were beginning to accept Dan’s new name. Even if their Midwestern neighbors hadn’t been as understanding as they seemed, Lorrie knew she and Dan would still be better off for having told the truth.
They had no secrets from each other or from anyone else. They didn’t have to live with the risk of accidentally using the wrong name or being discovered. Peace of mind was well worth any minor embarrassment. And through it all, their love had survived and grown.
They weren’t unrealistic enough to think that there wouldn’t be rocky times ahead with elderly parents and, before they knew it, a house full of teenagers. But they were confident they could handle the future together.
Having Tom near had given Dan an additional sense of peace. Lorrie gave her attention back to Cedra. “It was great of you guys to come help with the Festival again this year.”
“I only wish I could have helped pick,” Cedra said. “Everybody’s treating me like I’m something special, making me stay in the house or in the air-conditioned gift shop.”
“You are special, Cedra. And you’re doing an exceptional thing, carrying these new lives. You are a Beckett and we adore you.”
Her sister-in-law smiled, a smile of contentment and well-being. “I never felt special until Buzz. And then you guys. A couple of years ago, I couldn’t have imagined my life the way it is now, I mean with a family and a husband and a baby. Two babies. It’s pretty mind-blowing.” Lorrie knew how Dan made her feel. If Tom came anywhere near being the husband his brother was, it was no wonder Cedra glowed. “Dan—and Gil—are both so glad that you and Buzz decided to stay nearby.”
Tom had started his own cycle shop in Omaha and they made regular visits to Beckett Orchards. The entire family had rejoiced over their announcement of Cedra’s pregnancy, and then again when her ultrasound showed twin boys.
“These Becketts don’t mess around when they make babies,” Lorrie said with a wink.
Cedra laughed and fanned herself with a plastic plate.
“Where are Buzz and Gil?�
�� Lorrie asked.
“Buzz has a little surprise for Dan,” Cedra said mysteriously. She’d no sooner answered when Tom’s beat-up truck rolled up the drive with Gil driving. The old man got out and walked toward them.
Gil’s reaction had been the one Dan had worried about the most. He’d asked her to sit with them while he told his father, and she’d been grateful. Gil’s expression had been thunderstruck, and because she knew Dan so well, she knew he was experiencing a pang of regret.
Gil had asked surprisingly few questions, and once those were answered to his satisfaction he’d said, “This explains so much. I thought I was losing my mind.”
“What do you mean, Dad?”
“Those damned birthday cakes, for one thing.” He turned to Lorrie and she smiled.
Then he studied Dan’s face. “You told me you loved it here and that you weren’t sorry I made you stay and work the farm. You really meant that.”
“I did.”
“The Tom I knew wouldn’t have meant it. Wouldn’t have done it. Sometimes I thought...”
“Thought what, Dad?”
“I thought I’d broken Tom’s spirit.”
Dan laid his hand on his father’s arm. “Tom’s too strong for that.”
“But I did drive him away.”
Dan didn’t deny it.
“And I wasn’t fair.”
Still Dan said nothing.
“That was wrong, I know.”
“Dad, nobody’s to blame for any of this. Lorraine and I made a promise to each other. No more regrets, no more sorries.”
Gil turned a watery gaze on Lorrie.
“You have to promise, too,” Dan went on. “We don’t look back with regret for what we did or didn’t do. It got us where we are right now, and where we are is pretty stinkin’ good.”
“Thank you for telling me, son,” Gil had said, his voice choked with emotion. “Thanks, Danny.”
Dan hadn’t been able to speak.
As old and as set in his ways as Gil was, he’d done a fair job of making amends to both of his sons over the past months.
Now Lorrie watched Gil approaching and asked Cedra, “What’s he doing?”
“He just drove back from the tractor barn. That’s where Buzz hid his truck earlier.”
“Well, where is Tom?”
Just then, a low purring engine rumbled across the countryside, and along with everyone else, Lorrie looked toward the sound. Tom rode an enormous Harley up the driveway. Sunlight caught the chrome and mirrors and reflected off the glossy black paint. He rolled to a stop and killed the engine. The sound echoed in the distance.
Thad, Bram and Jori ran to their uncle with appreciative shouts. Dan turned from the smoking grill and approached, thumbing his black hat brim back and grinning. “Hey, you finally did it.”
Tom, wearing a Husker ball cap backward, matched his grin. “Yup.”
Dan walked around the Harley with admiration. “Nice job, Buzz.”
“Thanks, Dan.” Tom reached to the ignition and pulled out the key. He took a few steps and dangled it in front of his brother. “It’s yours.”
The surprise on Dan’s face was genuine. He frowned first, a look of confusion, and then a blank realization claimed his features. “What?”
“It’s for you.”
A second passed. None of the children spoke. They looked from their uncle to their father. Gil wore a knowing grin. Finally, Dan’s hand came out and he took the keys. “What will I do with a bike?”
“Do whatever you want with it,” Tom replied. “It’s yours."
Lorrie didn’t know if she understood the significance of the brothers’ exchange. Years ago the bike had been Dan’s. He’d given it to his brother, a young man with wanderlust in his veins, and watched him leave. Now, years later, his brother was back and he intended to stay. The bike had served its purpose, eventually bringing Tom back to the family.
“This is so cool!” Thad exclaimed. “Will you take me for a ride, Dad?”
Dan and Tom exchanged looks. Tom loped over to his pickup and returned with two shiny new helmets. Dan looked to Lorrie. “Lorraine—?”
“I’ll watch the burgers.”
He tossed Bram his hat and the Harley roared down the drive.
Tom bent low and kissed Cedra. “I think he liked it.”
Gil picked up the metal spatula and winked at Lorrie. “I think he liked it."
Lorrie gazed at the bike, appearing and disappearing between patches of glorious red sumac along the highway, and smiled to herself. “I think he liked it.”
The burgers were done and the meal half-eaten when they returned. Dan, smelling of country air and hickory smoke, wrapped his arms around Lorrie from behind. “You’re next, babe.”
She leaned back into his strong embrace. “I don’t know...”
He kissed her ear. “You don’t have to.”
If he’d coaxed her, it would have been easier to turn him down. But in letting her make up her own mind, he’d made it more of a challenge. She turned in his embrace. “All right. Call me crazy.”
He grinned. “I’ll call you sexy like I always have.” His smile still did wild things to her heart. He was the same man she’d always loved, but his recently regained identity had given him a new and appealing confidence. She followed him and took the helmet he handed her.
“I know a deserted little spot down by the brook in the east orchard...” he said with a suggestive lift of one brow. “And you can call me ready, willing and able." She laughed and straddled the bike, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him. “All I ever want to call you is... mine.”
The End
A note from Cheryl
A Husband By Any Other Name is a book dear to my heart. Keeping point of views straight was a challenge. If I’ve done it seamlessly, you may not notice that Daniel thinks of himself as Dan, but others call him Tom. Tom thinks of himself as Dan—only because he’s been told he’s Dan—and others call him Dan, but then when Cedra shows up she calls him Buzz. In his own point of view he still thinks of himself as Tom. There were moments when I got confused myself.
I live a short drive from the orchards in Nebraska City, and it’s one of our family’s favorite fall trips. We visited the Applejack Festival with our children, and now we take our grandchildren. Some of the orchards have been in existence for generations, and they run from small family operations to huge commercial festivities. Beckett Orchards is a figment of my own imagination.
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Read more books by Cheryl St.John:
Heaven Can Wait
Raised within the confines of a strict religious community, Lydia Beker longs for a simple touch, dreams of seeing more of the world. When handsome farmer, Jakob Neubauer and his family visit the bakery where she works, she is fascinated, but Outsiders are forbidden to her. Jakob is attracted to Lydia, as well, and she makes the difficult decision to leave everything she knows behind to marry him. He offers love and passion, but will she ever fit into his world?
~ * ~
Read an excerpt:
Lydia stood barefoot in front of the washstand, wearing her long white cotton underslip. She studied her reflection in the mirror. God hadn't taken away her feelings for Jakob. He'd given her a friend.
She thought of Jakob somewhere outdoors, perhaps in the barn, drawing comfort from the warmth and familiarity of the horses, instead of coming to her. A primitive instinct told her that his edginess was due to her failure to overcome this physical obstacle. She was failing him.
She'd been incompetent in every area of their marriage so far. She couldn't cook or sew or dance. She hadn't even known what his dog was, for heaven's sake! What had she done right? She remembered the length of his body against hers, the rasp of his hair-roughened skin�
�so different from hers—and a languid warmth pooled in her abdomen. He wanted her. She knew it intuitively.
Absently Lydia drew the brush through her hair and divided the length into sections. She met her own troubled gaze. This must be the thing she could do to please him. It was her wifely duty.
Jakob entered the room. He didn't ignore her partial state of undress. After carefully avoiding her for days, he studied her. His gaze lifted and met hers in the mirror. He gave her a crooked smile.
She dropped the thick plait against her breast and watched him back up against the wall and remove his boots. He straightened and unbuttoned his shirt.
He dropped the shirt. "Why do you do that?"
She stopped wrapping the tie around the end of her braid. "Do what?"
"Weave your hair in that rope to sleep."
"I have always worn it this way. My mother and grandmother wear theirs this way. My sisters, too."
"Family tradition, hmm?" As was his habit, he carried the lantern from the top of his chiffonier and placed it on the washstand. He stood so near, she smelled woodsmoke in his hair. His anger seemed to have disappeared. He reached for the front of her slip, and she froze, fingertips gripping the wash-stand. He lifted the braid into his palm.
In the mirror she watched breathlessly as he held the plait of hair, measuring its length, stroking it with his thumb. With his other hand, he unraveled the piece of fabric she hadn't tied. He ran long fingers through her hair, a section at a time, higher and higher. Stepping behind her back, he loosened the hair at her nape, his fingers massaging her scalp, working out tension. When her hair had been freed, he speared his fingers to her scalp, spreading the dark tresses over her shoulders like a silken cape.
"I've wanted to see you like this." His black-velvet whisper sent her heart skittering in her breast like a wild bird. Their eyes met in the reflection—hers self-conscious, vulnerable, his somber, resolute. Strong hands continued stroking, contouring her shape through her hair, caressing her back, kneading her shoulders and neck. Languid contentment oozed through every cell of her being. She'd been deprived of human touch her entire life, and now she reveled in the honest pleasure.
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