by Liz Long
“Sorry to intrude,” he said, “but I told Jim I’d help him get the tiger cages back to the animal area since we’re running behind.”
Keegan ran a hand through his dark hair and stepped away from me. “It’s cool, man, I know we’ve got work to do.” He looked at me apologetically. “I need to check on Bobby and find Nikolas. We’re going to get beers afterwards. Can I catch up with you tomorrow?”
“Sure. I’ll need to see Sheffield after the show anyways.”
Keegan nodded and kissed me on the cheek, where a warm tingle stayed. He grinned at me before turning to disappear between tents.
“Well, that was adorable,” Gabriel drawled.
“Shut it,” I snapped. “You know as well as I do you don’t need to be in there for another five minutes.”
“Someone’s testy.”
I scowled at him. “Tonight’s been extremely bad and you’re not helping. You just ruined the one good thing to happen to me today. Maybe even since I arrived.”
“What, Keegan giving you his American hero speech? It wasn’t that impressive.”
“You were there the whole time? I really appreciate you taking an interest in me, but your stalking ends now.”
“I don’t stalk; I really did happen to walk up when he was trying to be your knight in shining armor. I didn’t want to ruin your little moment.” He walked closer to me, his face bathed in yellow and red lights that oozed from the tent entrance.
“I won’t let you ruin anything. You have no control over what happens to me.”
“Yes, well, now at least I know how not to kiss a girl. That was sweet and all, but bo-ring.” He faked a yawn.
“So help me, Gabriel, I will set you on fire. I do not feel like being messed with right now. I’m sure you and everyone else are well aware of tonight’s happenings, what with the accidental lightshow and all.”
“You need to chill with the uptight. I’m teasing you, Lucy, calm down.”
“You’re beginning to owe me with all the teasing you’re giving me.”
“I didn’t want to bring this up, but I think if anyone owes anyone, it’s you. I saved your life the other night, if you don’t remember.”
“I haven’t forgotten. But this isn’t a life-saving kind of favor. You owe me for all the grief you’ve given me the last couple of days.”
“And what would I owe you?” He asked, his voice low and sexy as he approached me.
“I—wait, what? Why are you getting all cozy with me? Don’t be all charming or whatever you do to the ladies.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake. What sort of favor?” He stopped in his tracks, took a cigarette out of his back pocket and lit it.
“You could help me figure this mess out. Who’s doing this and why. I’m supposed to talk with Sheffield after the end of the show; maybe I can get some details from him and then try to put something together.”
“So you think if Sheffield can’t solve the mystery, then you can play Nancy Drew and discover the culprit yourself? Good luck with that. I don’t think I want to be a part of it.” He shifted his feet and more yellow light spilled onto his blonde hair.
“Why not? You already notice more things than most by that lurking thing you do.”
“I do not lurk—” he started in an annoyed tone, but I cut him off.
“So you could probably go undetected and hear a few things from around the lot. See what people are saying and then go from there.”
“I already said—”
“It’s not like you don’t do it already. You’d only be telling me what you heard. You could even…” I trailed off as a new thought occurred to me.
Gabriel gave me a wary look. “What?”
“Why haven’t you used your gift to try and see who the murderer is? You’d be able to feel all their rage and contempt.”
“Clearly you didn’t listen. I’m not going to feed in on anyone’s emotions. I can’t allow myself to do that. The person’s rage would be the worst thing I could feel after bottling it up for so long; I’d probably lose it myself by accident. Hatred and anger aren’t great feelings for Empaths in general, but for me, there’s no way it could end well. I’d be awful, saying and doing things. I’d get so hyped up on it that I would take the emotions completely. Anger is an incredible adrenaline rush.”
“Oh c’mon! Maybe you could, ya know, try a little.”
“It doesn’t work that way, dummy. You don’t just peek into the person’s emotions and get a taste. It’s all or nothing. And whether you believe it or not, I want absolutely nothing to do with a person of that much violence.”
He took a long drag from his cigarette while I tried to think of another viable option. I couldn’t come up with anything.
“Yeah, got nothing,” I said. “But you can still skulk around, let me know what you find out. I think you owe me that much.”
“I’m not entirely sure why, but I suppose I have nothing better to do. But we’ll have to meet after you talk to Sheffield,” he said, dropping his cigarette to the ground.
“I’d rather go to bed,” I replied crossly.
“We could do that together,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. I made a face and he laughed.
“No thanks.”
“Okay, but we can’t formulate our plan until tomorrow and who knows what’ll happen by then.” He shrugged and turned towards the tent entrance.
I hesitated and wondered if that was true. Then I caught myself having a crazy moment.
“You will not lure me in,” I muttered.
He paused mid-stride and cocked his head ever so slightly back to me. “What was that?”
“I said you won’t lure me in. I don’t really want to spend all my free time arguing with you.”
“You’re the one who asked for my help. I’m looking for some entertainment. There’s not much else going on in this shithole of a tour. Besides, you get annoyed, but maybe you secretly like it,” he responded, back still turned to me.
“You know you’re an asshole, right?” I called after him.
“Yes, but a helpful one, apparently. Oh, and Lucy? You really were spectacular out there tonight, even if it was by accident.” He loped away while I glared at the back of his head.
Chapter 15
Sometime after the show ended, I headed over to Sheffield’s camper. The knot in my stomach had grown larger in the waiting period. I knocked on the door and heard a grunt. I paused, unsure if that had been a greeting or “go away.”
“Well, are you coming in or what, Lucy?” I heard him bark after a moment. I pushed open the door and walked in.
“Sheffield, I—,” I began. He put a hand up to stop me.
“Before you say anything, I need to make myself a drink. Sit down. Relax. It’s not a damn Inquisition.”
I took a seat in front of him while he brought a large container of what appeared to be whiskey out from a bottom drawer of his desk. He poured himself quite a large helping into a glass, put the container back in its hiding spot, then took a large swallow before he finally sat back and took his top hat off.
“Where do I even start with you?” he asked.
I didn’t know if this was rhetorical, so I remained silent. My cheeks already burned. I looked down at my hands; tap, tap, tapping incessantly on my knees, unable to stop fidgeting. They had a mind of their own.
“Are you doing okay after what happened the other week at the bar?” he asked.
Surprised by this topic, I shrugged. “I’m not letting it interfere with my work.”
“That’s not really what I asked. Brooklyn told me what happened. It sounds very traumatizing. I owe it to your family to make sure you’re safe.”
“Sheffield, I’m fine. I owe Gabriel more than I’d like, but he did save my life. I can’t allow it to affect my job, though. Nothing happened and I’m safe now. I can’t dwell on it.”
“Why not?”
“Are you playing therapist tonight?” I snapped, immediately regretting it. I looked
down at my lap, to my fingers that still moved on their own accord. I forced the heat back from my skin and swallowed the sick feeling that came with reliving that night’s events.
There was a long pause and I felt him trying to read me again.
“Okay, then. How about you tell me your thoughts on tonight?” he suggested. He propped his feet up on his desk, as casual as the day we met.
“Well…let me go ahead and apologize. I should’ve let one of the performers take control. I know that it wasn’t my place to jump in like that. I got worried that the whole place would catch fire. I’m not saying Antonio isn’t talented, but I saw the flames grow from his panic. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else getting hurt.”
I paused to see if Sheffield wanted to comment. He remained silent, so I pushed forward.
“But I also stand by my decision. I knew I could stop it, even if it attracted a little attention. I hate that it was so…unbelievable to the audience but I knew it would work. If we had to do it all over, I would make the same choice. Or maybe go inside the house instead. I realized that mistake too late.”
Sheffield took another sip of his whiskey. I sat there, fingers drumming in the tension. I waited for his response and he pulled a cigarette from its box and lit it. He inhaled deeply, exhaled, and finally spoke.
“You’re much more talented than I realized. I want to put you to better use.”
“I’m sorry? Does that mean we can move past tonight?”
“Kid, you did what had to be done. You stepped up to do what you thought was right and it’s for that reason I know you’re supposed to be here. I want to take what we saw tonight and move forward. I haven’t had much time to think on where that might lead, but I’m sure we can figure something out. What do you think?” He sucked in more nicotine and breathed out a cloud.
“Well…that would be great, I guess.”
“You guess?” He quirked an eyebrow at me.
“I mean, I just got here, so I don’t want anyone else to get upset with me…” I trailed off. I thought of Nikolas and the envy I heard in his voice on my first night.
“After tonight, I don’t think anyone could blame me. I know everyone’s already talking about your little light show,” he commented.
Inwardly, I groaned. Attention was the absolute last thing I needed right now. He noticed my discomfort.
“You have a problem being the center of attention?” he asked.
“When it’s for something great, it’s fine. When it’s for something that will lead people to talk even more about me, then yeah, I’m a little uncomfortable.”
“Talk about you even more?” He put out his cigarette and sat up in his chair.
“No offense, Sheffield, but don’t act like you don’t already know. There’s no way you couldn’t.”
He gave a crooked smile. “Okay, got me there. Why do you care what they say if you didn’t do it?”
“It will make life harder here for me. All these things add up against me: I’m brand new, I’m apparently a suspect for murder and possible arson, and now I’m gonna move up in the show? You have to admit it looks a little odd, even for a circus freak.”
“You worry too much about what everyone else thinks.”
“For good reason! I can’t do my job if no one will let me help them, or help me with my own act, for that matter.”
“What I say goes. People know I make the right choices for everyone here. They respect my decisions.”
“You aren’t out there at every moment; you don’t hear what people talk about or think of me.” I slumped back in my chair. I hated myself a little for how whiny I sounded.
“If you don’t want to be here, then you have the freedom to leave at any time. But I won’t let you simply hide and hope for the best. I want you to perform and if you aren’t willing to do that, then you aren’t fulfilling your contract to your job or me. This is what you wanted to do with your life; you don’t get to do it only during the dreamy, upbeat moments. You want to hide or run away from the talk? Fine, but you won’t do it here. You get over it or you don’t. It’s that simple.”
My cheeks flushed with the lecture. Sheffield was right, no matter how much I wished he wasn’t. And the truth was, I wanted to perform. I wanted to show off my hard work and accomplish the challenges I presented myself, to live up to my dad’s reputation. I needed to suck it up, forget what anyone said or would gossip over.
I nodded, determined to earn my place and ignore the whispers. “You’re right.”
“Damn straight I am.” He swigged more whiskey. “Let me think on where to incorporate you in the show; stick to errands. They don’t want your help? Move on to the next person. People need assistance; they’ll eventually put aside the rumors. Do your job, forget the fuckin’ gossip, and show ‘em you belong here. Lenny earned his place in our world; now it’s your turn.”
I jumped up from my chair and headed to the door. “You’re right; I can do this.”
“Course you can,” he replied. He lit another smoke and put his feet back on his desk. “Lucy, before you go…”
My hand paused at the doorknob. I turned to face him. “Sir?”
“The Marty situation will pass. Keep your head high. I know Lenny raised you better than that.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you know that.”
“Do me a favor,” he said. He gave me a shrewd look over his whiskey glass. “Don’t go do anything stupid. Don’t provoke anyone and don’t go looking for trouble; I’ll handle Marty’s death.”
I gulped. “Yes sir.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you know my good friend, and subsequently your dad’s good friend, Knox is helping me. He’s a Tracker, which means he can locate and judge a gift that’s been recently used. He can help narrow down the suspects and even find people with certain gifts. I’m hoping it’ll speed us along.”
I sighed with relief. Surely Knox would find out who did it so Sheffield could handle the situation. “Thanks. That does make me feel better.”
He nodded at me; I turned the handle and bolted out of his camper. I practically ran back to my camper, my thoughts chaotic. Too many emotions ran through me—excited yet terrified for my own act; fear over the anger and mutiny I was sure to face from everyone; curious as to how I would go about clearing my name from murder; and finally, a solid determination to stand above it all.
I didn’t get here because of my father; Sheffield made that clear. And this was what I wanted. It just happened to be a little sooner than I expected. I figured it would be months, maybe even years, before I got my own act, but I knew that eventually I would want one. There had never been anything else when I imagined my future. I had wanted this before my parents dragged me away years ago; it was all I dreamt about during high school geometry classes. My parents’ deaths weren’t the best way to get here, but at least that was my bright side to the whole terrible situation.
Chapter 16
The next morning, Gabriel invited me to lunch. To avoid being overheard, we sat in the grass under a large tree that stood away from the picnic area.
“So did you find anything out?” I asked before he’d even gotten a bite into his sandwich.
“Can I at least eat first, dummy?” I looked up at him to protest his new term of affection and saw the smile tugging at the corners of his lips…that I now wanted to kiss. I shook it off and tried to pass off a sigh of annoyance instead.
“Fine, but hurry up.”
“Why, you afraid Wonder Boy is gonna see us together and get jealous?” He flashed me a grin.
“Why do I think you’d enjoy that?”
“Probably because I would; after he went after you last night, I’d love to see the look on his face if he saw us together now.”
I scowled at him as I chewed. “It was only a kiss. He didn’t go after me.”
“Sure he did. He wants to stake a claim on you before anyone else can try.”
“Did you read his emotions or some
thing?”
“I don’t have to. It’s obvious to everyone. I guarantee he wanted to make a move before Nikolas could.”
“Nikolas?” I scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
“How blind are you exactly?” He chuckled through his sandwich. “Nikolas is the best Firestarter here—well, he was anyway, before you showed up. He’s also an alpha, which means he has no qualms going after what he wants.”
“He and Keegan are best friends. If Keegan’s shown interest in me, and he has, Nikolas will back off. Besides, Nikolas doesn’t strike me as the relationship type.” I wolfed down my sandwich and started in on my chips.
“Doesn’t matter. He’d go after you because he wants you, to prove a point. You’re cute and all, but it’s mostly for his own ego. He might use and lose you, but you’d be hands off to Keegan after that fact. Why do you think he sat next to you at the bar that night instead of Keegan? He was trying to stake his place out next to you.”
Ignoring that Gabriel had branded me the dreaded “c” word on my appearance, I wrinkled my nose at him. I was not a fan of man information if Gabriel spoke the truth.
“He didn’t hit on me at the bar or ever for that matter.”
“He’ll try and sneak his way in somehow. The best part about being alpha is that Keegan is probably used to it; he’ll accept that his best friend wants the girl and back down.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I would have to return his advances and I’m not interested,” I argued. “Nikolas is nice and all, but he’s not really my type. I like brunettes anyhow and Keegan is way more my speed.”
“Well, I’m not sure what that says about you. And I am not dying my hair. You’ll have to like blondes eventually.” He threw me a wink.
“Ugh, dream on. Why are we even discussing this? Tell me what you know about our little…mission.” I dusted crumbs off my shirt and jeans.
“I don’t know how reliable this information is,” Gabriel warned me.
“At this point all of it is useful. Even the gossip—there’s always a grain of truth where it started.”
