by Liz Long
“You’re willing to die for people you don’t know? These—these freaks?” he shouted back.
“I am one of those freaks. I belong here!”
He screamed his frustration at me, chucked another large ball of fire at me. Instead of stopping it, I absorbed it into the flames that surrounded me. I gathered up every bit of fire in my body, every thought of frustration and anger I could muster. My skin began to blister and I raised my arms to my chest, bringing every bit of fire off my body into my palms and took aim. A blue ball of fire escaped my hands and went straight for Felix’s heart.
It hit him dead in the chest, consumed him completely. As he fell backwards, his hands scrabbled at his heart and his eyes looked at me in fury and astonishment as he screamed in pain. A heartbeat later, he hit the ground, unmoving, coated in flames.
Relief flooded through me, but I didn’t dare let the flames in my hands die yet. I wouldn’t put my weapon away until I knew I didn’t need it again.
“I have to know he’s dead,” I said to no one in particular.
I walked gingerly across the blackened field to where Felix stayed motionless. His body already reeked, rancid and burned, from ten feet away, but still I got closer. Most of his shirt had burned away to reveal a nearly concave torso. His small body resembled Marty’s: charred and blackened, his face in pain while his hands reached for his chest. The whites of his eyes stood out amongst the black and flaking skin. I backed away from the sight, knowing I’d have nightmares for months. I’d killed Dr. Felix J. Hardy.
Well, at least his burn scars wouldn’t piss him off anymore.
Chapter 41
The flames took their slow time melting from my body. I’d never felt so odd: both terrible from the pain and powerful from the newfound strength.
My head drummed harder, my entire body shook, and for a horrifying second, I thought I might puke in front of everyone. Dying was one thing, but I did not any under any circumstances want them to see me yak. I clamped my mouth shut and tried to stomach the pain. I wanted to scream in agony; stars popped in and out of my sight. When the last reddish orange spot disappeared from my hands, I steadied my breathing and looked around. The crowd stared back at me in astonishment.
“So…thanks for all your help,” I said awkwardly.
Half of them laughed weakly, while others simply looked from Felix’s body to me. Sheffield eased forward and addressed the group.
“Thank you everyone. If you don’t mind, let’s all go to bed or stay up and drink or do something other than stand here. We’ll…have a meeting later.” He sounded weak, but no one dared ignore his command. Most of the group scattered.
Sheffield motioned to Gabriel’s uncle who now stood nearby. “Rick, go get a few of the workers and clean this up, all right? We’ll say goodbye to our own in the morning. Can’t have any customers wander over and see this tomorrow.”
Rick nodded, walked away to get help from workers. I would gladly keep my ignorance to never know what they did with the bodies. Nikolas now held Keegan up, to my relief; he looked like a truck ran him over, but he was alive.
As I made my way over to them, I stumbled and a hand caught my arm. I looked up to see Gabriel, who already looked remarkably better despite the blood on him. We looked at one another wordlessly for a moment.
“Thank you,” I finally told him. “For everything tonight.”
He shrugged and I could barely muster up any annoyance. “I didn’t really do anything, you know. I only strengthened your feelings. The emotions, the power in your gift…you’ve always had it,” he said.
“All the same, you helped me. I guess I owe you my life twice over now.”
“I wasn’t exactly honest with you about things. I don’t apologize for much, but for hurting you, I am so sorry,” he replied.
I looked down at the ground. He hadn’t removed his hand from my arm yet. I didn’t need to look over to know my friends stared at us.
“Gabriel…” I started.
“I don’t care about what everyone thinks. I know you don’t trust me right now but I’m going to do my best to win it back. I’m in lo—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted. “Do not finish that sentence. I’m more tired than I’ve ever been in my life, I just killed a couple of guys, and I need to sort out my thoughts before I can even begin to figure out my feelings.”
“I get that, but I’m cashing in my life-saving favor. We need to talk. I want you and I know you want me, even if you don’t know what to do about it yet.”
I sighed and pulled away, motioned for him to walk over with me to our friends. I looked up to see Keegan with a pained look on his face. I gave him what little smile I could muster. Gabriel had the good sense to wander away and Nikolas also stepped away to talk to the others.
“Are you ok?” I asked Keegan.
“I’ll live. I’ll have the Healer patch me up. Are you all right?”
“We won, didn’t we?”
“You don’t have to be tough with me, Lucy. It’s been a hard night on everyone, but I imagine you took the brunt of it for us. I know the pain can be bad, but you went further than any of us.”
I leaned in, put my forehead on his chest and he put his arm around me. I felt his lips brush my hair and I squeezed my eyes shut, tried to temporarily block out sounds and thoughts.
“Perhaps it’s my own fault for not putting myself out there a little more with you,” he whispered in my ear, “but I didn’t want to scare you away. I want to be with you. I wonder if we can talk soon about us being a little more…officially together?”
I bit back a sigh. Did all life-endangering situations bring about the need to talk about commitment and togetherness?
“We can discuss it later. I’m sorry, but I’m much too tired to think about anything else right now.”
“Understandable. You let me know when. As for right now, what do you want to do?”
“Right now, I want to go to bed and sleep off this fire hangover. I’ll get to the rest later.”
“All right. Let’s get everyone to head back and we’ll get you to bed.”
We broke apart and made our way to where everyone stood. They talked to one another about the fight, different gifts they’d seen or fought, and the fight between Felix and me. I looked at Sheffield, motioned my head to go back to the grounds and he nodded.
Nikolas offered his arm to Sheffield, who took it and leaned as we walked through the grounds. Brooklyn and Bianca smoked cigarettes as they walked arm in arm, their heads leaned in together as they whispered. Delia walked with Finley, who nodded as she murmured how to best care for his injuries. I became uncomfortably aware of Keegan and Gabriel on either side of me; neither spoke or touched me, but both of them kept their eyes on me. I focused on our surroundings instead.
The battle’s damage retained mostly to the field. A few tents here and there were ripped or had burn marks, but we’d gotten lucky not to lose our way of life. We would have a circus show tomorrow and days after. Brooklyn had been smart to not have me throw fire at the Airspinner, for she would’ve made sure flames caught all the way to the Big Top. Bird feathers in the dirt caught my eye and reminded me of our winged companion; sadness overwhelmed me. Too many had been killed or injured. Gifted had too much to worry about to fight amongst our own.
“Can you believe it? I carried a passenger! I’ve never done that before, but I wanted to help somehow and get Sheffield outta there,” Bianca said. Brooklyn planted a proud kiss on Bianca’s cheek.
“Looks like our emotions are not so bad after all in a fight,” Delia replied. “You did a great job. Felix looked so surprised.”
“Thanks. I have no idea if I could ever do it again because I’ve never felt so desperate,” Bianca admitted. “I don’t really know how I did it.”
“You just have to practice,” I told her. “We all do. All of you were amazing and I can’t thank you enough. You put your lives out there.”
“Of course we will help,” Deli
a said. “This is what a team does, what protecting a family is about; we would never let you fight the monsters alone.”
We reached Sheffield’s office camper. The outdoor light attached to the door shone brightly, cast a yellow light on our group. Shadows danced as we came forward. When we reached the small wooden steps, Sheffield and Nikolas paused to catch their breath. The rest of us hung back.
“I think I can make it from here,” Sheffield said. “Lucy, would you mind coming in for a minute?”
He let go of Nikolas, carefully walked up the three steps and through the door. I followed him into his office camper, waited until he seated himself behind the big wooden desk. He moved slow but already looked far better than he had in the field. I stood there and folded my arms across my chest.
“Are you going to be all right?” I asked him.
“Oh, I’ll definitely live. He did have me worried for a few minutes though,” he admitted. Unsurprisingly, he reached in his desk for his whiskey bottle.
“What was it like?” I asked. “When you touched Felix and all that power went through you?”
“I’ve never been struck by lightning, but I imagine it felt rather like electrocution. I knew immediately my plan was shot to hell; my body froze up and I could feel myself seizing. Next thing I knew, Bianca stood over me at the other end of the grounds. I knew we needed to get back to the fight. I’ll be all right, though I don’t think this is something the Healer can fix right away.”
I shuffled my feet, unsure what to say next. Finally, I said the first thing that came to mind.
“You ignored my plan,” I told him accusingly.
He shrugged. “I know. For the record, and don’t get too smug about this, you were right. I shouldn’t have run in there like that because I did almost die. But if it had worked, we’d be having an entirely different conversation.”
I wished I wanted to gloat, but I didn’t feel satisfied. The battle was over, but what happened next? I took a seat by Sheffield’s desk as he poured himself a drink.
“I’m impressed with you, kid. You became a leader, took us into battle and won,” Sheffield said. He passed a glass of whiskey over to me. I took it without objection but it still burned after a sip. I hid my wince at the bite.
“For how long?” I asked. “Even you’ve said that Felix is one of many. They’ll keep coming for you, for me, especially now that your gift is known and mine is proven to be so powerful. Felix could have handed out more of his vaccines, told others we’re a threat to their existence. We don’t know all the facts.”
“That’s true,” he admitted. “But I think tonight, we accept a victory, no matter how small it might seem.”
He raised a glass to me; I halfheartedly mimicked his motion. Despite our success, I felt bitter, empty inside. I already worried for the next fight. Sheffield read me correctly.
“You were fantastic out there tonight and will continue to be. Lenny would be proud,” he said.
“I hate that it got as far as it did. And I don’t just mean tonight, but the last several years.”
“I know and hopefully we’ll see the signs if it ever starts to happen again. But I’ll be there and from the looks of it, so will you.”
“I don’t want any part of a war between our kind. There are too few of us as it is to go around fighting.” I stared at the amber liquid in my glass.
“I understand. There are some who will always find their lives unsatisfactory and believe in hierarchies or power schemes. Not all of us are good or want to use their gifts for justice like you do. There are many gray areas that you don’t understand yet. Some of us, myself included, do not always use our gifts for right and wrong, black or white.”
“There are gonna be changes, aren’t there?”
“With what?”
“Within the show, our group, the gifted world…with me and my own ideas of what the world used to be to me.”
“Yes, that seems evident. It’s useless to fight it, but if you want out, you can always leave. I would never ask you to stay unwillingly. You’ll never fight a battle that you don’t want.”
“You’re wrong,” I told him over my glass. “Would I be any safer if I left? I think I would be even less so; at least here I have friends to watch my back.”
He nodded and finished off his whiskey. “This is true. They will never let you fight alone. Neither would I.”
“I can’t believe they let me lead them. They protected me, saved my life tonight. Most of them barely even know me.”
“They know you are capable of great things. You wouldn’t leave them, wouldn’t allow Felix to hurt them anymore. You didn’t kill Felix so that you could live. You killed him so we all could. They believe in you and won’t forget anytime soon.”
I stared at my glass of liquor, swirled the contents around as I kept my focus on it. “If only my dad had believed in me enough to tell me what was going on, we may never have had this problem.”
Sheffield sighed, took a long pause before he spoke. “Lucy, it was never that your father didn’t believe in you, your gift. He knew you had the skills, the talent to go far and he feared it for you. He worried about your safety because others will come for you. He didn’t want you to hurt anyone, kill anyone like Felix, because he thought you to be too innocent. You’re his little girl; he would never wish anything like that on you.”
I scowled. “He should’ve warned me so I could be better prepared. If I’d known what might come after me, I could learn more, protect others and myself. His secrets might kill me.”
“They won’t. You’re here, surrounded by those who can help you grow. And while I won’t tell you everything tonight, you’ll know everything there is to know about Lenny. He was a good friend and person, but he was a damn fine father. He only wanted the best possible life for you.”
An excited yelp outside startled us both. I hopped out of my chair and threw the door open to find my friends still outside. They seemed as stunned as I was to find Delia standing next to her identical twin. Sheffield walked up behind me and gave a satisfied nod.
“We were waiting for you,” one Delia explained. “Finley talked about shifting and—”
“I’m gifted again!” the other Delia exclaimed. He shimmered back into Finley. “I thought…oh man, thank you baby Jesus! I have never been so happy in my life!”
Finley ran the few steps over to Nikolas, clapped a hand on his shoulder and matched his appearance. He shifted back into himself, clearly delighted he was no longer simply human. Fin surprised all of us again when he walked up to Delia and kissed her. I caught Brooklyn’s eye and she winked at me; she’d probably overheard Finley’s thoughts about Delia on more than one occasion. Finley pulled back and grinned at Delia’s dazed look.
“Sorry. Caught up in the moment and always wanted to do that,” he told her. She nodded absentmindedly and I caught the interested look she gave him when he turned away.
“So Felix’s crazy science experiment for humanity works like your gift?” I asked Sheffield. “It only takes it away temporarily?”
“Seems so. We are gifted for life,” Sheffield said. “There is no cure for who we are.”
I nodded at him, gave a weary smile. “Thanks for everything tonight. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Nor I without you,” he replied.
“You gave me a new life. Where else was I gonna go?” I stepped away from him, down next to my friends.
“Speaking of which, only a couple more days left here. It’s almost time for the next city,” Sheffield told us. He spoke directly to me. “Think you’ll be ready?”
“With this group? Absolutely.”
Delia turned away from Finley and slung an arm across my shoulders. She glanced at Keegan and Gabriel and gave me a knowing look. “C’mon, Lucy. Let’s get you home.”
“I am home.” I winked at her and she grinned. She looped her arm through mine and gave a reassuring squeeze on my wrist.
The group began the
walk back to our campers. Information about my father would come, just as my abilities within the Donovan Circus would. I would spend the rest of the night catching Delia up as we consumed our weight in chocolate. Then I planned to sleep from now until we arrived in the next city and hope for the best. Whatever or whoever came next for us would have to wait until tomorrow.
End
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A huge thank to you to my family and friends. To my husband, who supports every crazy idea I have. To my mother, who has always been my biggest cheerleader. Thank you for everything you do.
Morgan and Emily, this book wouldn’t be what it is without you. Thank you for the reading, the edits, and the enthusiasm you gave me in every text or email.
To my best friend and cover artist, Erica Dickson—you know me so well you made the cover I wanted without even knowing it! Thanks for always being able to do that.
And finally, to Courtney Cole, fabulous author and my phenomenal new friend. Without her, I’d still be having a meltdown over what to do next. You’re my Obi-Wan and you didn’t let me give up when it felt incredibly scary or frustrating. Thank you.
