by Gerri Hill
Jordan nodded. “I did too. But at least they know now. They can stop speculating.”
“God, can you believe how many times she mentioned Derrick’s name?”
Jordan poured herself a glass of wine, then looked at Annie with raised eyebrows. Annie nodded at her unasked question. After Jordan poured an apple cider for her, they took their glasses out to the deck, as had become the norm for them.
It was a warm evening and Jordan put the ceiling fan on as well as the oscillating fan she kept in the corner. Annie’s shorts were tight and she unbuttoned them, letting out a relieved sigh.
“When are you going shopping?”
“I’ve got to go to Corpus for my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. I’ll go by the mall then.” She turned her head, looking at Jordan. “I can’t believe I’m about to buy maternity clothes. Having kids was never really in my plans,” she admitted. “Even when I was married, I had no desire to have kids. I thought it was just because of Derrick and…you know, I wanted out of the marriage.”
“I know this wasn’t in your plans. I know you want to finish college and get on with your life,” Jordan said. “But I’m really glad you didn’t get an abortion. And I’m not just saying that because it’s Matt’s baby.”
Annie reached over and took her hand, squeezing tightly. “I never considered an abortion. I do vote pro-choice, though. I think it should be each woman’s own decision.”
“I agree,” Jordan said. “And if you’d decided to do it, I wouldn’t have judged you. But I’m glad you didn’t.”
Annie smiled and released her hand. No, she hadn’t ever considered an abortion, despite her mother’s mention of it. Talk about hypocrisy. Her mother was always first in line when her church organized pro-life rallies. She wondered if her father knew that her mother had suggested it.
“So, do you think they’re pleased with your living arrangements?” Jordan asked. “I mean, your father seemed to like it here.”
Annie laughed. “Pleased? My mother is afraid I’m going to catch some disease from you,” she teased. “When you took Dad down to see the new pier, she hinted that if I wanted to move back in with them, I could.”
“Really? And?”
“I told her it was far too relaxing and stress-free here for me to even consider moving back with them.”
“Good. Because I like you being here,” Jordan said. “I’ve always lived alone. I wasn’t really sure what to expect.”
“I didn’t either,” Annie admitted. “I mean, we didn’t really know each other all that well when I moved in.” She again reached over and took Jordan’s hand. She no longer tried to analyze why she had this compelling need to touch her as much as she did. “You’ve become a good friend, Jordan. I could only imagine the mental state I’d be in if it weren’t for you.”
Jordan surprised her by linking their fingers together. “Thank you. Having you here has made me realize how very few friends I really have,” she said. “Work friends, mostly. Superficial. I guess I never took the time to nurture friendships. I was more interested in my career.”
“You must have made friends in college.”
“Sure. And there’s a few that I keep up with. But it’s only the occasional email or a rare phone call, that’s about it. They’ve drifted away, like I have.”
Annie felt sorry for her. What a lonely existence it must have been for her to spend so much time working and so little time playing. She’d venture to guess that this summer—despite Matt’s death—had been one of the most sociable ones for Jordan in years. Not only was she interacting with them at the store, she was interacting with customers and with other shop owners. Jordan had seemed to really enjoy herself at the festival the other week, and next Sunday she was hosting the office party out here. The weeks had been full and busy and they were flying by. August would be here in no time. And August meant changes were ahead. Annie would go back to school late in the month and Jordan…well, Jordan would disappear out of her life and go back to Chicago. That thought made her very sad.
She glanced over at Jordan, realizing that they were still holding hands. She should pull away, but she didn’t. It felt nice to…to connect with Jordan like this. She let her thumb rub lightly against Jordan’s soft skin and Jordan tightened her fingers a bit.
Sadness gripped her again. What would she do when Jordan left? She didn’t worry about a place to live. Both Jordan and her parents had made it clear that she could continue to live out here. But Jordan had become her rock. Jordan was strong, she was steady and mature. She was confident and sure of herself and Annie felt secure just being in her presence.
“What are you thinking about?” Jordan asked, her voice soft and quiet in the darkness.
“You,” Annie said honestly.
Jordan said nothing. But now it was her thumb moving against Annie’s skin as their hands remained linked. Annie closed her eyes, letting Jordan’s gentle touch lull her into an even deeper sense of peacefulness.
Chapter Twenty-Three
When the office door burst open, Annie looked up sharply from the order she was placing. She silently groaned as Derrick stood there. She knew by the look on his face that he’d heard the news.
“What the hell, Annie?”
She closed the laptop without finishing the order, knowing Derrick would not be satisfied by a quick explanation.
“You ever heard of knocking?” she asked. “And you shouldn’t even be back here in the first place.”
“Quit stalling,” he said. “Tell me it’s not true.”
“Are you referring to my pregnancy? Or who the father is?”
His jaw dropped open. “Jesus, you really are pregnant?”
“It’s not any of your concern, Derrick. Or your business,” she said bluntly.
He closed the door, then turned to her. She was surprised by the anger in his eyes. “You going to tell me how this happened?”
“Like I said, it’s not any of your business.”
“The hell it’s not,” he said loudly. “I wanted to have a kid with you, but no, that never worked out, did it? And now I find out that you were sleeping with Matt Sims. He was my friend. And you were fucking him.”
Annie stood up. “Get out of my office.” She pointed at the door. “Now.”
“You’re nothing but a goddamn slut, Annie.” He laughed, but it was hardly jovial. “And now you’re living with his gay sister. What the hell is wrong with you?”
For the first time in all the years that she’d known Derrick, she was actually afraid of him. There was a look in his eyes that she’d never seen before. She didn’t know if he was in any mood to be reasoned with.
“You and I,” she said, pointing between them, “are divorced. You and I are nothing to each other. Nothing,” she said. “We’re not friends. Nothing. You have no right to come in here and speak to me like this.”
He slammed his fist down on the desk. “You’re pregnant with Matt Sims’s baby!”
“Yes, I am.”
“It should be mine.”
She held her hands up. “Why? Why should it be yours?”
“Because I still love you, Annie. I do.”
She shook her head. “Oh, Derrick, you don’t love me. We were high school kids. We had no business getting married in the first place,” she said.
She was thankful some of the anger left his face. He ran his hands through his dark hair, then plunged them in his pockets.
“How long were you and Matt…sleeping together?”
She realized Derrick was more hurt than angry. Should she tell him the truth? Should she tell him it was only the one night? She didn’t feel the need to lie to him.
“We weren’t dating, Derrick. It was only a one-night thing,” she said.
He met her gaze. “One night?”
“Yes.”
“One night? One night and you get pregnant? Hell, I tried for six years to get you pregnant. Matt gets it done in one night.”
“Derrick, don’t
read more into this than it is. I got pregnant. It’s something I have to deal with. It has nothing to do with you.”
He stared at her for the longest time before speaking. “Tell me, Annie, did you ever want kids with me?”
She didn’t want to hurt him any more than he already was. So for that question, she did lie. “Yes. At the beginning, yes.”
“Yet you never got pregnant.” His tone was slightly accusing, and if he point-blank asked her if she had ever gotten off the pill, she wasn’t sure if she’d tell him the truth or not.
“It was probably for the best, seeing as how our marriage didn’t last,” she said.
“The best for who?”
“The best for me, Derrick.”
“Yeah. I guess.” He shrugged. “What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to finish school like I’d planned.”
He nodded, then he looked pointedly at her belly. “You’re not showing yet.”
She smiled. “I’m hiding it. I haven’t told everyone yet.”
He again ran a hand through his hair. “Look, you and me. That kid’s going to need a father. Maybe we could—”
“No.”
“Hear me out, Annie. I think—”
“No, Derrick. And I know this is my mother putting these thoughts in your head,” she said. “I’m okay alone. I’m going to be fine. Matt’s parents are very supportive. They’ll be there for me. Jordan’s been great. She’s—”
“A lesbian,” he said. “What the hell are you doing living with a lesbian?”
“Jordan and I are friends, Derrick. She’s been good for me. I owe her so much. Don’t pass judgment,” she said.
“You don’t think people will talk? Will speculate about what kind of a relationship you have with her?”
“Oh, come on. Who? The people at my mother’s church?”
“For starters,” he said.
“I don’t really care what they think. It’s none of their business. I don’t belong to that church.”
“And you’re going to raise this kid alone?”
“Like I said, I have support. Something my own parents haven’t given me.”
“Oh, hell, Annie. You mother is still in shock over the whole thing. She says she cries every day over it.”
Annie rolled her eyes. “I would imagine that’s a bit of an exaggeration. She’s embarrassed more than anything.”
“And do you like doing that to her?”
Annie laughed. “Oh, Derrick, really? Did she coach you on what to say?”
Derrick shook his head. “She said that you’d changed. I guess it’s true.”
“I haven’t changed.” She paused. “Well, maybe I have. The whole time living at home with them I was never able to…to spread my wings,” she said. “I went from living with them in high school to living with you. Then I went back to living with them. It was a mistake, but I couldn’t afford a place of my own.”
“Your mistake was leaving me.”
“No, Derrick. That was the best decision I could have made. For me and for you. I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t making you happy. You know that.”
“We never even tried counseling.”
“And there’s a reason we didn’t. I’m sorry, Derrick. It was never your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was always me,” she said.
“And there’s no chance for us…ever?”
“No. You need to quit thinking there is. You need to find you somebody and get on with your life.”
He shrugged. “How come we never talked like this before?”
“You weren’t receptive to it,” she said. She walked around the desk and faced him. “Don’t waste any more years, Derrick. You’ll make someone a good husband.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry I called you a slut.”
She smiled. “It’s okay. I know I’m not one. It’s only the truth that hurts.”
“You’ll let me know if you need anything? I mean, you know, maybe the kid will need someone to teach him how to play baseball or something.”
“We’ll see.” She reached for the door and held it open for him, stepping aside so he could pass.
“Take care of yourself, Annie. Like I said, let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you. I will.”
As soon as the back door to the store closed, she let out a relieved breath. She knew she’d have to have this talk with him, and truthfully, it had gone better than she’d anticipated. She went back to the desk and opened up the laptop again. Her session with the retailer had timed out, losing her order. She logged in again, feeling a lightness in her mood, something she rarely felt after a visit with Derrick. She only hoped Derrick would relay their conversation to her mother. Maybe then she’d give up on the hope of them getting back together. Because that was never going to happen.
But thoughts of her mother dampened her good mood a bit. How long was she going to punish her over this? How long would it take before she embraced her? Would she ever?
* * *
Jordan came in the front door carrying a large bag from Pepe’s. She’d run across the street for lunch and noticed that Brandon was still talking to the same young woman as when she’d left. Well, she was cute. She couldn’t blame him. But there were other customers in the store, and Molly was working the cash register. So she walked over to him with a questioning look on her face.
“Hey, boss. Glad you’re here. Two things. First, I want you to meet Kensi.”
Jordan smiled politely. “Hello, Kensi.” She turned to Brandon. “What’s going on?”
He grinned. “Well, I’m working, of course.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Really. I met Kensi at the festival.” He pointed to a handful of prints she held. “Local artist. What do you think about carrying some of her stuff?”
“Yeah?”
“I mean, I didn’t promise her anything. I’m just looking at them. But she’s really talented.”
Jordan looked over at Kensi, who had been standing by silently. “Let me take a look.” She put the food bag down and took a couple of prints from her. They were the originals, all done in watercolors. Different birds, of which Jordan could only identify the heron and the whooping crane. They appeared to be very good to her untrained eye.
“These are good,” she said. “I’m assuming you’ll make copies of these and sell them as numbered prints? Maybe signed copies?”
“Yeah. Like limited editions,” Brandon said. “What do you think, boss?”
“What all do you have? Just watercolors?” she asked Kensi.
“I have some in pencil too. Oil and acrylic. Watercolor is my favorite medium though.”
Jordan nodded. “Okay, sure. Why not. We’ll give it a try.”
“Great!” Brandon turned to Kensi. “See? I told you she was super cool.”
Super cool? God, had she ever been called “super cool” before? Jordan smiled as she picked up her lunch bag. “What else?” she asked, still smiling. “You said you had two things.”
“Oh, yeah. Derrick Dockery was here.” He motioned to the back. “In the office. Molly said he was yelling.”
“Yelling?” Jordan narrowed her eyes. “At Annie?”
“Yeah. I told her to listen at the door, but she was scared to.”
Jordan felt her jaw clench. “Is he still here?”
“No, he left. But Annie hasn’t come out.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Jordan hurried to the back. She’d promised Annie that she would be here when Derrick confronted her. She only hoped he hadn’t been too much of an ass. The office door was closed, and she knocked twice before opening it. Annie was not sitting behind the desk. Instead, she was on the sofa, looking a little somber.
“You okay? I heard you had a visitor,” she said.
Annie sighed. “Yeah.”
“Molly heard yelling.”
“Oh, just a little.”
Jordan set their lunch on the desk, then she sat down beside
Annie on the sofa. “Want to talk?”
Annie sighed again. “It’s not really Derrick that’s got me blue,” she said. “Although he did call me a slut.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. She draped an arm around Annie’s shoulder, and Annie leaned against her.
“That hurt. I pretended it didn’t, but it did.”
“Need me to go beat him up for you?”
Annie smiled. “That would be a sight.” Annie turned her head to look at her. “It’s all good with him though. I think he finally realizes that we’re not ever getting back together.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“My mother. She’s the one who told him. And some of the things he said, well, they obviously came from her mouth.” She leaned closer to Jordan. “It’s just so depressing, Jordan. I know she’s embarrassed about me being pregnant, but it’s not like I’m sixteen or anything.”
“I know.”
“And she’s not in the least bit excited about being a grandmother. How can she shun me like this? I keep thinking that she’s going to come around, you know?”
“She will.”
“I don’t think so. I didn’t tell you this, but last week when I had my doctor’s appointment, I asked her to go along. I told her I needed to go shopping for maternity clothes and I wanted her help.” Annie shook her head. “She said she was too busy.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” Jordan said. “I would have gone with you.”
“I know you would have. I made Suzanne go with me. We had fun. But still…my mother was too busy for me.” Annie buried her face against Jordan. “It’s breaking my heart.”
Jordan wrapped both arms around her and held her tight. She heard sniffling and knew Annie was crying. That sound tugged at her heart, and she pulled Annie even closer, feeling a profound need to protect her.
“The only thing you can do, Annie, is keep trying. We can have them out to dinner again.”
“Oh, yeah, the last time was so much fun,” she mumbled.
Jordan smiled and kissed Annie’s head. “Maybe we should have my parents over at the same time. They know each other.”
Annie pulled away. “Your parents are normal,” she said. “I would be embarrassed for them to see my parents like this. Because honestly, I never thought they would have this reaction.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I knew they would be upset, but I thought it would pass. I thought eventually they would be excited. I mean, I’m almost thirty. It’s not like I have a whole lot of years left to have kids.” Annie slammed her hand against Jordan’s thigh. “And all those years with Derrick, she practically begged me to give her a grandchild. Now she acts like this?”
