by Gerri Hill
Making love? With Jordan?
She very nearly drove off the road.
* * *
Annie pulled into the carport and parked next to Jordan’s SUV. She cut the engine and sat there for a few seconds, trying to get herself under control. Futile, perhaps, but she took several deep breaths. As Jordan had said, it didn’t have to happen tonight.
The house was quiet when she went inside, and she glanced through the large windows in the living room. She found Jordan exactly where she thought she’d be—out on the deck. She wasn’t sitting though. She was leaning against the railing, a wineglass within arm’s reach. It was still more than an hour until sunset, but clouds to the west would obscure it this evening. She took one more deep breath, then went outside. She knew Jordan would have heard her drive up, so she wasn’t surprised when Jordan didn’t even turn around.
“Hey.”
Jordan turned then, and Annie saw that she wasn’t the only one fighting nerves. “Hey,” Jordan replied.
Annie went and stood beside her, mimicking her position on the railing like she often did.
“Dinner?”
Jordan shook her head. “I didn’t get anything. I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for.”
“I’m not really hungry right now.”
Jordan smiled. “That’s a first.”
Annie laughed, feeling some of the tension leave her. “I’m a little nervous,” she admitted.
Jordan turned, facing her. She reached out a hand, letting her fingers slowly caress Annie’s cheek. Annie met her gaze, seeing her brown eyes darken just a bit.
“We’re going to take this slow, Annie. Give you time to…absorb what’s happening.”
Annie stared at her. “You think I don’t know what’s happening?”
“In case you decide it’s not what you want.” Jordan’s thumb raked across her lower lip. “I don’t want you to think you’ve jumped into something that you can’t back out of.”
Annie could feel her heart pounding in her chest from Jordan’s gentle touch. It sounded loud in her ears, and she wondered if Jordan could hear it too. She swallowed with difficulty, finally wetting her lips where Jordan’s fingers had touched.
“What if…what if you decide it’s not what you want?” she asked. “I mean, I’m pregnant. That’s probably a huge turnoff. And the fact that Matt—”
“Stop,” Jordan said, putting a finger against her lips. “You’re beautiful, Annie. I’m very attracted to you. The fact that you’re pregnant with Matt’s baby has no bearing on that.” Jordan leaned closer, lightly brushing her lips against hers. “I find you beautiful inside and out. And if possible, being pregnant makes you even lovelier.”
The sincerity of her words nearly melted Annie’s heart. She moved nearer, into Jordan’s arms. They stood close together, holding each other. She let her eyes slip closed as her arms circled Jordan’s waist. There was nothing sexual about it, not this time. It was all about comfort, security, peacefulness. The stress she’d been feeling earlier vanished, and she rested against Jordan, letting Jordan’s strength seep into her.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Jordan pulled back a little. “How about we drive into Fulton, go to that Italian place you like.”
“Oh? You think I can eat now?”
Jordan smiled. “I don’t want to face you in the morning if you go to bed without eating.”
Annie playfully slapped her arm. “I am not that bad.”
“You get cranky.”
Annie took a step back. “Something with Alfredo sauce sounds good.”
“Yes, it does. My treat.”
She studied her for a moment. “You must be tired. You’ve had a long day. If you’d rather not go out, I could—”
“I’m fine,” Jordan said. “I took your advice.”
“A nap?”
“Yeah. A nap.”
“Okay.”
Annie touched her arm, waiting until Jordan’s eyes met hers. She leaned closer, kissing Jordan lightly on the mouth. It was enough to send her pulse racing again.
“Just so you know,” she said, “I get butterflies in my stomach when we kiss.”
Jordan’s eyes softened. “So do I,” she whispered.
Chapter Thirty-Two
In hindsight, going out to dinner was probably a mistake. Accidental touches that weren’t really accidental, lingering glances, forced small talk…the words not matching the looks in their eyes. By the time dinner was served, Annie was ready to ask for a to-go box and beg Jordan to take her back home. And not just back home. Home…to bed. But she resisted the urge and tried to enjoy the meal. She knew Jordan was fighting her own urges. So much for her gallant speech of taking things slowly.
Now, as they pulled into the driveway after a nearly silent ride home, she wondered how the night would end. It had been a silent drive, but that didn’t mean they weren’t communicating. Her hand had crossed the console several times to touch Jordan. She simply couldn’t help it. And once, Jordan had linked their fingers, resting their hands on her thigh. Yeah, so much for taking things slow.
“I’m…I’m going to shower,” she said as soon as they got inside. She needed something to distract her.
“Okay,” Jordan said.
Jordan headed to the kitchen, and Annie suspected she was getting a glass of wine. Would she go out to the deck to relax? To think? To give Annie some space?
Annie didn’t want space.
She took her time in the shower, trying to decide what to do. She knew it was up to her. Jordan would never push the issue, would never initiate things. No, that would be left up to Annie. When she was ready for this—mentally and physically—she would have to be the one to go to Jordan.
As she toweled off, she stared at herself in the mirror. Naked like this, it was obvious she was pregnant. Four months along now, she could no longer hide it. She touched her belly, running her hand gently across it. A baby. She was going to have a baby. So much change was coming. Did she really want to add to that change by…by becoming lovers with Jordan?
Lovers.
She closed her eyes, imagining just that. She was twenty-nine years old and had had only two lovers. And really, could she even count Matt? Their one time together had been brief, to say the least. But, of course, she was pregnant. She had to count Matt. But neither Matt nor Derrick brought her pleasure. Six years with Derrick, she could count on one hand the number of times she was able to reach an orgasm with him. At first, it never occurred to her to fake it. But it was impossible to explain to Derrick, impossible to make him understand. He simply couldn’t fathom why she wasn’t able to…to get there as easily as he did. After a while, it became easier to fake an orgasm than to go through all the drama of not reaching one. Toward the end of their marriage, it had gotten to the point where she could not tolerate his touch any longer. And that was something she refused to fake.
Was it her or was it Derrick? Was it her or was it…men?
She met her gaze in the mirror. Was she ready to become lovers with a woman? With Jordan? It wasn’t frightened eyes that looked back at her. And she was old enough to know she had to be honest with herself. Yes, she was a little fearful about taking that step. Like Jordan had said, they couldn’t go back. Once they slept together, they couldn’t undo it. But something inside her, something in her soul, told her that it would be different with Jordan. She could tell that just from the few kisses they’d shared. It would be very different with Jordan.
She didn’t see the point in delaying the inevitable any longer.
She slipped an extra-large Fat Larry T-shirt over her naked body, not bothering to put panties on. Then, with one last look in the mirror, she turned out the light and went in search of Jordan.
She heard movement in Jordan’s bathroom and assumed she had finished her own shower. Should she give her some time? She took a deep breath, feeling nervous all over again. What if Jordan wasn’t ready? What if Jordan really did want to take
things slow?
The overhead light was off in Jordan’s bedroom, but the lamp beside the bed was on. So she leaned against the doorframe to wait, remembering the looks they’d shared over dinner, remembering the tension in the car on the way back home. An electric, sexual tension that had been impossible to break. No, for all of Jordan’s brave words about taking this slow, she was as ready as Annie was.
When the bathroom door opened, Annie looked up. Jordan stopped in her tracks, obviously surprised at her presence. Jordan was dressed similarly in a baggy T-shirt, her legs bare. Annie’s gaze traveled up her body, stopping when she met her eyes. They were smoldering. No, Jordan didn’t want to wait any longer either.
“Before you ask,” she said, “yes, I’m sure.”
Jordan walked over to her slowly, her eyes never breaking contact. She stopped in front of her and Annie could feel the heat between them. Jordan didn’t say anything as she reached a hand out, touching Annie’s face with a gentle caress. Then Jordan leaned closer, her lips barely more than a whisper as they touched her own.
When she pulled back, Jordan didn’t try to hide the desire in her eyes. Annie’s breath caught. Had anyone ever looked at her like that before? Like they wanted to devour her? That thought made her heart beat double-time. Yes, she wanted Jordan to devour her.
While Jordan stood mutely by, Annie took a step closer, so close that their bare legs were touching, so close that she could feel Jordan’s breath on her face. Her eyes slipped closed as her mouth found Jordan’s.
There was no holding back for either of them. Not any longer. Jordan’s arms pulled her closer the same moment that hers slipped around Jordan’s hips. She fitted herself against Jordan’s body, pressing hard against her and moaning when she felt Jordan’s thigh slip between hers. She pulled away from the kiss, needing to breathe, then went back again, unable to stay away. Jordan’s tongue drew hers inside Jordan’s mouth, causing her knees to threaten to buckle. She grasped Jordan’s hips, steadying herself as their kiss came to an end.
The kiss came to an end, but Jordan didn’t release her hold on Annie. Annie could hear Jordan’s thundering heartbeat against her ear as she tried to catch her breath. Then soft lips were moving across her face, down to her neck, nibbling gently against her skin. Those lips moved to her ear, and she moaned again when a wet tongue bathed it.
Annie could barely decipher Jordan’s whispered words in her heated state. “Make love.” Yes. “Bed.” Yes.
She stood still as Jordan reached for her shirt, silently asking if she could remove it. Annie met her gaze, nodding ever so slightly. It was with agonizing slowness that Jordan lifted the bottom, pulling it slowly up and over her head.
“Jesus, Annie,” Jordan said, her voice husky with desire. “You’re so beautiful.”
Annie felt beautiful at that moment as Jordan’s gaze swept across her body, landing finally on her breasts. Annie could hear Jordan’s uneven breathing, matching her own quick breaths. She was surprised to see Jordan’s hand tremble as she reached out to touch her.
Warm hands slid up her body, stopping under her breasts. Again, Jordan seemed to be asking permission. Annie covered Jordan’s hands with her own, then slid them higher, over her breasts, unable to prevent a moan from escaping when Jordan touched her there for the first time. Her eyes slammed shut when Jordan rubbed both nipples with her thumbs, turning them rock-hard. She felt a jolt to her very core and thought crazily that she might be about to have an orgasm, just from that little stimulation.
Fearing she might actually fall down, she held on tightly to Jordan as her mouth was again claimed in a fiery kiss. It was all almost too much…an overload on her senses. Jordan must have suspected as much for she ended the kiss and moved toward the bed.
Jordan unceremoniously tossed the covers back, then just as quickly shed her own T-shirt, leaving her as naked as Annie was. She drew Annie down on the bed and Annie reached for her immediately, pulling Jordan to her. No longer having to fear that her legs would fail her, she opened to Jordan, their legs scissoring between each other’s. As Jordan’s thigh pressed against her center, she knew without a doubt that she’d never—ever—been more aroused. She could feel her own wetness, and she jerked hard against Jordan when Jordan’s mouth settled over her breast, her tongue gentle washing her rigid nipple.
“I think I’m going to pass out,” she murmured as her head rolled from side to side on the pillow.
Jordan’s lips nibbled at her neck, then moved to her mouth, kissing her slowly, with purpose.
“Should we slow down?” Jordan whispered against her mouth.
“Or hurry up,” she countered.
She matched Jordan’s smile against her lips, then moaned with satisfaction as those lips returned to her breast.
Jordan nudged her legs apart, and Annie gave her room, sighing with pleasure as Jordan settled against her. Annie didn’t know what she expected their lovemaking to be like. She’d been afraid to even speculate on it for very long, for the thought of being with Jordan—like this—caused her insides to become all jumbled up. But for what she did imagine, she didn’t expect it to be so…so slow, so measured. She hadn’t anticipated Jordan being so thorough as her lips moved across her skin, leaving little untouched by them.
As Jordan’s hips began to roll against her, Annie opened wider, straining to touch her. She felt Jordan’s wetness against her thigh and she so wanted to touch her, to feel that wetness with her fingers.
She didn’t voice her desire, she simply…did. Her gasp mingled with Jordan’s as her hand moved between them. It was like liquid fire as her fingers probed deeper, exploring a place that was foreign, yet familiar. She didn’t have time to reflect on that thought, however. Jordan shifted, giving her more room and her fingers slipped inside her as if she’d done this very thing a hundred times before.
“Jesus…Annie,” Jordan breathed, her hips rocking against her fingers.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Jordan’s hips slowed, finally stopping, but Annie’s fingers remained inside her. Their eyes met, and Annie was shocked by the fire she saw in Jordan’s.
“I’m going to go inside you too,” Jordan whispered.
Annie held on to Jordan’s gaze, only losing it when her eyes slammed closed. Jordan’s fingers brushed her clit, then moved inside her. Annie gasped for breath as her hips arched up, letting Jordan fill her.
“Sweet Jesus,” Annie murmured.
“You’re so wet.” Jordan’s fingers moved inside her. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“God, no,” Annie said as her hips began to move, matching the rhythm Jordan set.
She was aware of Jordan moving against her hand, aware of her fingers inside Jordan, aware of Jordan inside her. But that awareness faded into the background with each stroke of Jordan’s thumb against her clit. Her heartbeat became a roar in her ears and she struggled to breathe. Feelings completely alien to her assaulted her senses, leaving no room for contemplation.
For the first time in her life, she was completely overwhelmed by her orgasm. It hit with such dizzying speed that she had no time to prepare, no time to…to anticipate it. Her world exploded in an array of colors more beautiful than any painter could have contrived. A scream of pleasure burst from her mouth so quickly, she couldn’t even attempt to contain it.
Then Jordan thrust harder against her hand and Annie forced herself to focus on Jordan. It only took a few seconds, and she watched in amazement as Jordan’s expression changed, her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth drawing in quick breaths. Then she seemed to still, to hold her breath, then finally let it out with a loud moan, her pleasure evident on her face.
Annie relaxed finally, feeling Jordan nearly collapse on top of her. She withdrew her fingers from Jordan’s wetness, then moved her hands across Jordan’s back, pulling her even closer.
They lay together like that for a few minutes, long enough for their breathing to return somewhat to normal. Then Jordan moved
, rolling over to her side. Annie shifted too, turning so she could see Jordan’s eyes.
“That was…well, I want to say fabulous, but that doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel,” she said.
Jordan lifted her hand, her fingers tracing Annie’s nipple lightly. Annie stilled Jordan’s hand, instead, she reached out, touching Jordan’s breast for the first time. She was so soft, her skin smooth, her nipple rigid. Annie’s fingers rubbed against the nipple, and she watched as it hardened even more. She looked up, meeting Jordan’s gaze.
“You’re so soft,” she murmured. “It feels good to touch you.”
Jordan leaned closer, kissing her softly on the mouth. “You’re a very quick learner.”
Annie smiled. “I think I’m going to need lots of practice though.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jordan stared at the office laptop, trying to remember what she was doing. She shook her head, finally closing it. She’d been trying to get something accomplished for the last hour, yet she could not concentrate on anything. Her mind was still filled with Annie and their night—and morning—together.
When was the last time she’d had a lover who was so in sync with her? Ever? Debra had been the most frequent lover she’d had, and even though the sex had been great between them, they’d never been quite as in tune as she and Annie had been last night.
And to think that Annie had never been with a woman before. The night had simply been incredible. Jordan’s very long day had caught up with her and she’d collapsed finally, sleep claiming her instantly. But she’d woken up at four, still tangled together with Annie. She’d tried to move, to roll over. The lamp was still on and she was reaching for it, intending to turn it off. Annie’s eyes had opened, sleepy and sated, yet they were shimmering in desire. Jordan had been helpless to refuse. She’d rolled to her back, pulling Annie on top of her. Annie had surprised her yet again as she’d moved down her body, her mouth and lips missing little on their journey.
