by Bold, Diana
She wanted to tell him that she’d give him anything, everything, if only he’d keep touching her with such tenderness, but she knew they were playing with fire. She scooted a bit farther away, putting some space between them. Hugging her knees to her chest, she gazed at him, knowing her heart was in her eyes.
“That was my first kiss,” she admitted. “It was everything I ever imagined it could be. Thank you for that, Luke. Thank you for being such a... gentleman.”
A bashful smile tilted his beautiful full lips, the lips that had just been on hers. “I am glad you gave me that honor, Serenity. I’ll do everything in my power to ensure that you don’t regret it.”
She couldn’t imagine any situation where she’d ever be anything but completely grateful for this day.
NEARLY TWO WEEKS LATER, Serenity was back on the wall, watching Luke work. She pressed her fingertips to her lips, her face heating with embarrassment and pleasure. They’d kissed several more times since the afternoon in the treehouse, and last night, they’d sat upon the sofa for nearly an hour, gazing into each other’s eyes and sharing mind-numbing passion. It had been very hard to part and go to their respective rooms alone. The fact that he had not pressed her for more had left her both relieved and disappointed. She did not think she could tell him no, but she was afraid of what going further might mean.
Luke turned and caught her staring, and his blue eyes sparkled with a teasing light. He pressed his fingers to his lips and blew her a saucy kiss, and she realized too late that she still had hers to her mouth.
Blushing, she dropped her hand and looked away but couldn’t control the small smile that tilted her lips.
Incorrigible man.
Her pleasant thoughts were derailed by the sight of the town constable dismounting his horse where the front drive had once been. He stood for a moment, gazing at what Luke had already had his men accomplish, then noticed Luke in the scaffolding and started toward him.
Serenity shrunk back against the stone, a bad feeling taking root in the pit of her stomach. Something had happened.
As though to confirm it, both men turned toward her. They were still more than fifty meters away, but she could see the grim set of their faces.
She shook her head, trembling, as Luke climbed down from the scaffolding and both men headed in her direction.
“Miss Pratt,” the constable said when he stopped before her. “We’ve had news of your father.”
She bit her lip and then took a deep breath, readying herself for what was to come.
“I’m afraid he’s passed away, Miss,” the constable continued, a pitying expression on his somber face.
Luke reached up and took her hand, staring deep into her eyes. “He’s not coming back, angel. I’m so sorry.”
A wave of denial crashed over her, and she jerked her hand back, shaking her head again. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t believe it.”
“He was found in the next county,” the constable informed her morosely. “He’d been at a pub and when he was leaving, he somehow fell down a steep hillside. We’re not sure exactly what did him in, but he laid there for quite some time before a farmer found him.”
A hysterical laugh bubbled up inside her, and she forced it down. Drink. Drink had killed him, and they all knew that.
“Thank you,” she said, numb and still disbelieving, even though she’d thought she’d prepared herself well for this inevitable outcome. “I appreciate you coming out here to tell me.”
The constable nodded, looking uncomfortable.
“Yes, thank you,” Lucien told him, sounding every inch the earl. “I’ll be in touch to make all the arrangements. If you’ll excuse us.” As he turned to escort the man back toward his horse, the truth of what had happened crashed over Serenity, and the need to flee overwhelmed her. Luke would comfort her, she knew that, but right now all she wanted was to get away. To run so far and fast that no one would ever find her until the storm of grief inside her had abated.
Always fleet of foot, she dropped off the wall and took off into the woods.
Behind her, she heard Luke calling her name, but the tears had already started, blinding her, and she didn’t stop. She veered left off the path, deeper into the trees.
Her father was dead, and now she was all alone in the world.
LUKE FOLLOWED SERENITY through the forest, his heart pounding in his chest as he lost her time and again. She was surprisingly fast and knew these woods better than he did. Perhaps he should just let her go, grieve for her father the way she obviously wanted to, but she’d become very dear to him, and he couldn’t bear to let her go through this alone.
He wanted to protect her, to hold her in his arms and assure her that everything would be all right. He’d take care of her, make sure she never wanted for anything, if only she’d let him. Unfortunately, she’d proved remarkably stubborn on that front, wanting so desperately to remain self-sufficient. After a lifetime of fending off women who wanted him for his money and title, Serenity was so refreshing. Perhaps that was why she’d captured his heart and mind the way no one else ever had.
At last, he entered a small clearing and found her, collapsed against a tree, tears streaming helplessly down her lovely face. Her chest heaved with exhaustion, but she made no sound, and her silent grief struck him to the core.
Approaching quietly, he slid down beside her and pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair as she buried her face against his chest. He didn’t know how long they sat there, hours at least, but at last the storm within her subsided, and she lay quietly against him.
He pressed his lips hesitantly to her temple, not knowing what to say. Even though his own father had been gone for nearly a decade, the loss affected him to this day. He wasn’t hypocrite enough to tell her that she’d be all right.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “I’m sorry I ran off like that. You didn’t have to follow me... but I’m glad you did.”
“I didn’t want you to be alone.” The words seemed utterly inadequate.
She gave a shuddering sigh. “I am alone now. My father was all I had.”
“No,” he said fiercely. “You have me, angel. Remember? You’ll always have me.”
“Will I?” she whispered, sounding doubtful. “You’ve been so good to me, Luke. I could never have even imagined having a friend like you. But I can’t stay here now that my father is truly gone. Already the gossips will be talking, realizing that he hasn’t been here in quite some time.”
“Who cares what they think?” he asked, furious on her behalf. He’d ruin anyone who said a single negative word about the lady in his arms. She did that to him. Made him want to slay dragons on her behalf.
“You have no idea,” she said, sudden anger filling her voice as she pulled away and stared up at him with tragic, tear-filled eyes. “You’re a bloody earl! You can bend the rules all you want, and no one will ever say a word against you. It’s not like that for me. I must find a job, a way to take care of myself. Even a hint of scandal will ruin me forever.”
He ran a hand through his hair, knowing he was going about this the wrong way. Her pride would never allow her to take his charity, and he wasn’t yet ready to consider his other options. Part of him wanted to throw caution to the wind, bind her to him with words and deeds, spend the rest of his life with her. But that seemed foolhardy, given that he’d only known her a handful of weeks. This certainly wasn’t the time to be discussing such things, anyway.
“What if I were to get you a companion?” he asked, a plan forming in his mind as he desperately tried to come up with a way for her to stay. “I’ll send for someone from my London house. I have a distant cousin who could come. Gemma Cross. She would give our situation the respectability you need.”
She shook her head, disbelief in her tear-filled eyes. “Why would you do that for me? It makes no sense. And I don’t think I should let you. I have nothing to offer you, no way to pay you for your kindness. My father left me with noth
ing except a mountain of debts.”
“I’m not asking for payment,” he muttered in frustration. “Wouldn’t you do this for me, if you could? Simply because we are friends? Because you care for me?”
A frown twisted her lips, but he knew he’d finally said the right thing. “You know I would.”
“Then please, just let me help you. At least for a while, until you can come up with another plan. Just give yourself a little time, angel. That’s all I’m asking.”
She suddenly nodded, relief flooding her features. “All right,” she said softly. “But only until I can decide what to do.”
Chapter Six
June 1888
Within days of her Serenity’s father’s death, a young woman named Gemma Cross arrived at the cottage. Although only a few years older than Serenity, her new chaperone had a serious, defeated air that made her seem much older. Luke had said Miss Cross was a distant cousin of his—a poor relation, Serenity gathered.
Miss Cross had been acting as a companion to Luke’s mother, the Dowager Countess of Winters, and from the moment she stepped through the front door of the humble cottage Serenity called home, she knew the other woman was here under protest.
Miss Cross raised her thin nose at her shabby surroundings, her dark eyes sharp and calculating. “Where is my room?” she asked after the introductions had been made, her tone making it clear that she didn’t expect much.
Serenity swallowed, feeling guilty that Miss Cross had been forced to leave her no-doubt palatial accommodations in London, where she’d probably been privy to parties and entertainments of all sorts, to come to this quiet little hamlet in Kent with no one but Serenity and Luke for company. “Right this way, Miss Cross,” she murmured, leading her upstairs. There were three bedrooms, and Gemma would be occupying the smallest one, though Serenity had done her best to make it welcoming.
“Thank you,” Miss Cross said stiffly, looking around at the bright red homemade quilt and fresh daisies on the nightstand. “May I have some time to freshen up from my journey?”
“Of course,” Serenity said with a nod, realizing she’d been dismissed.
Miss Cross did not come down from her room until much later that afternoon. She sat in a faded chair near the fireplace with a book, making no effort to be friendly. Serenity tried talking to her, but Miss Cross answered with monosyllables, and at last Serenity faded into silence.
For someone who had been alone nearly all her life, having someone like Miss Cross in her home made Serenity very uncomfortable. She started cooking dinner but was very aware of Miss Cross’ glowering presence in the other room.
She’d never been so glad when Luke entered the house and turned directly into the kitchen, looking tired and worn from another day at the building site. His eyes lit up when he saw Serenity, and he headed toward her, his intention to kiss her clear in his sparkling blue eyes.
Serenity frowned and gestured toward the sitting room. “Miss Cross has arrived,” she told him pointedly.
“Lucien? Is that you?” Miss Cross cried. She rushed into the kitchen, her homely, sharp-featured face glowing with pleasure.
Serenity frowned a bit at the abrupt change in Miss Cross’ demeanor, but Luke smiled and hugged his cousin, seeming to surprise her with his exuberance. “Gemma! I’m so glad you could come.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” Gemma said, flushed. “I didn’t think you even knew I existed.”
Luke grinned at her. “That’s ridiculous.”
Allowing them to catch up with each other, Serenity turned back to making dinner. Her guilt intensified at the adoration she’d seen on Miss Cross’ face. Her feelings for Luke obviously went far beyond those of a distant cousin. Serenity suspected the other woman harbored a secret love for the earl, which couldn’t help but complicate things. Gemma would undoubtedly resent Serenity even more when she realized that Luke cared for her.
During dinner, Miss Cross engaged Luke gregariously, making her taciturn arrival even more suspicious. Luke seemed a bit confused as well, though he was obviously eager to hear news of his family.
This stiff, formal meal filled with small talk made Serenity long for the time she and Luke had managed to spend together before her father’s death. Having Miss Cross here might save her reputation, but it certainly wouldn’t allow them to have any private time together. Serenity knew she should be glad for the chance to be able to stay at her home, but she would heartily miss the times she and Luke had spent laughing and talking late into the night. Not to mention the drugging kisses and increasingly bold caresses.
She caught Luke’s gaze, and immediately realized he felt the same. The look he sent her, filled with promise and affection, curled her toes, and her apprehension faded. She suddenly had no doubt that he would somehow find a way to keep the intimacy between them alive.
Miss Cross cleared her throat, sounding annoyed. The look they’d shared had obviously not gone unnoticed. “I intend to take my duties as chaperone very seriously,” she said, her dismay over what she’d realized about their relationship very clear. “I hope that nothing untoward had been going on between the two of you before I arrived.”
Serenity flushed and looked down at her plate, embarrassment and a touch of shame coursing through her. She didn’t regret the time she’d spent in Luke’s arms, but she knew that if anyone knew about it, she’d be branded a fallen woman.
“I invited you here so that not a hint of scandal would ever mar Miss Pratt’s reputation,” Luke said pointedly. “I care deeply for her, and I want to make sure she is protected from any gossip.”
Gemma flushed and nodded abruptly. “Of course, my lord,” she said stiffly, her earlier enthusiasm waning. Serenity pitied the woman, who had no doubt built some sort of fantasy that Luke had invited her here for another reason altogether.
The rest of the meal passed quietly, and then all three of them turned in for the night.
LUKE LAID UPON THE narrow bed in the cottage’s guestroom, wrestling with the idea of sending Gemma back to London. All the fun and intimacy he and Serenity had created here in the cottage had been ruined within one night by Gemma’s disapproving presence.
Of course, he couldn’t do that. Serenity’s reputation was very important to him. He would never forgive himself if she became ruined because he couldn’t keep his hands off her. She was a good girl. He had to either let her go or take her as his wife.
The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He couldn’t imagine binding his life with anyone other than her, but taking that step, taking responsibility for yet one more person, terrified him. Since she’d come into his life, he’d felt raw, open, exposed. He loved that she saw him so clearly, yet there were times when she saw too much.
He’d needed this time away from the burdens and responsibilities that came with his title. With Serenity, he’d been able to put all those things aside and simply be Luke, an ordinary man who enjoyed building things and deep conversations and kissing a beautiful girl.
If he married Serenity, he couldn’t be that man anymore. He’d have to be her husband, her provider, her protector. All the innocence and fun would no doubt disappear. He also knew how difficult it would be for her to gain acceptance in high society. She’d be mocked and looked down upon, and he couldn’t bear that for her. He wanted everyone to see her the way he saw her. Beautiful, smart, funny, compassionate. She was everything he’d never known he wanted in a woman.
The other choice, to keep her here in Kent, make an oasis of the home he was building and escape to it, to her, as often as he could, seemed much preferable. He could keep her safe and untouched by the ugliness of his world.
But how could he ask her to become his mistress? She would think he didn’t love or respect her, when the opposite was true. She would never see it as an attempt to protect her, to show her only the best of himself.
He sighed and tossed restlessly, knowing he could never do that. She deserved to be his countess, but perhaps he could drag ou
t this time they had together without the weight of his position ruining it for as long as possible. Perhaps he would wait a year or so before proposing. He’d only known her a few months. They were young, still. They had all the time in the world to put rules and boundaries on what they felt for each other.
For now, he just wanted to be free to be himself. Free to love her.
As though his thoughts had summoned her, his door swung silently open, and Serenity stepped inside, easing it carefully shut behind her. She gave him an impish smile and put her fingertip to her lips.
He grinned and sat up in bed, achingly aware that he was nude beneath the blankets.
Her gaze settled upon his bare chest, and heat stained her delicate cheeks. “I’m sorry for intruding,” she whispered. “I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. I feel like we didn’t get a chance to be ourselves with Miss Cross there.”
He held her gaze and patted the spot beside him. “Come here,” he murmured.
She did as he’d asked, her face flushing even redder, if such a thing were possible. She sat down beside him, the bed so narrow their shoulders touched. “I’m glad you came,” he whispered. “I felt the same way. I’ve grown so fond of our talks.”
She sighed and lifted her gaze to his. “I know it’s necessary for her to be here, but I felt as though she were judging me the whole time. And it’s obvious she is in love with you. She sees me as competition for your affections, so she hates me.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Gemma? I’ve known her since I was a child.”
She just stared at him. “A woman knows these things.”
He grinned and put his arm around her, pressing her head against his shoulder. “Well, you needn’t worry. I only have eyes for you.”
