by Bold, Diana
He crumpled the letter in his hand, shaken by a wave of emotion. She still didn’t know. She didn’t think he wanted her, didn’t know that he would give her the world if he could. He should have told her last night, instead of asking to give her another child. She didn’t even trust him to do what he needed to do with the one they had.
LATER THAT EVENING, Luke arrived at Morgan’s house. He wanted to check on his grieving brother, and he also wanted some impartial advice over the situation with Gabriel. Morgan had always been the most level-headed of the three of them. Perhaps he could see the entire thing in a way that Luke had not considered.
Once the butler had let him in, Luke spent some time cuddling his adorable niece and nephew, which reminded him that baby Hope was still with Fiona at Brookhaven. He buried his face in Hannah’s sweet-smelling hair, fresh anguish washing over him. So many things needed his attention and he had once again dropped a ball, a very important one. How could he have forgotten that his brother still couldn’t even bear to look at his own baby? How could he have thought that asking Morgan to help him with his own problems was a good idea when his brother’s life was in shambles? What a selfish bastard he was.
Swallowing thickly, he released Hannah and tussled her hair. “I’m going to go find your daddy,” he told her softly.
“Daddy is sad,” his nephew said.
“My mommy isn’t coming home,” Hannah parroted, obviously still not quite sure what that meant.
“I know,” Luke said, reaching down to hug her again. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
She just blinked at him, her huge blue eyes shiny with tears. With a sigh, he released her and went in search of his brother.
As he’d suspected, Morgan was in his studio in the attic, half-finished canvases all around him. Most were slashed angrily, as though Morgan had destroyed them in a fit of rage. Morgan stood at the window, staring out into the night.
When Luke entered, Morgan glanced over his shoulder. Their gazes met briefly, then Morgan turned back to the window without comment.
Luke walked forward, examining the paintings, his heart sinking as he realized they were all of Anne. Though on second thought, he realized it might be a step up from painting the fire that had killed their father.
“How are you doing?” Luke finally asked cautiously.
“Did you know that I hadn’t slept in the same bed with my wife for six months before she died?” Morgan asked, his tone surprisingly casual.
Luke took a step back in surprise. “No,” he murmured. “I did not know that.”
Morgan shook his head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t been myself for nearly a year. I’m consumed with thoughts of our childhood, of Prometheus, of Winters... And I let that get in the way of my marriage, of my children. Christ, I still haven’t even looked at Hope. I don’t know how to move forward, and now the one person who could have helped me is gone.”
Luke stepped toward him and squeezed his shoulder. “You still have me. You still have Adrian. We will always be here for you. If our childhood taught you anything, you should know that.”
“You’re right.” With a hollow laugh, Morgan finally turned to face him. “I do know that. I just needed some time to deal with this on my own.”
“I understand,” Luke said. “I’m just sorry that I wasn’t here when you needed me.”
Morgan sighed. “I’m better today. I truly am. I worked all the rage and grief out with my painting.” He gestured ruefully to the destruction around them. He’d painted when they were young, but Winters and Roger had mocked him for it until he’d stopped.
Luke nodded. “I’m glad you have a release.”
Morgan suddenly frowned. “You know what would make me feel better?”
“What?” Luke asked suspiciously.
“You could tell me what’s going on with you. Why you look even worse than I do.”
Luke shook his head, stunned that his little brother had read him so easily. “Absolutely not. I’m not putting any more on you.”
Morgan strode over to two tipped over chairs and righted them. Taking one of them, he gestured to the other.
With a sigh, Luke sat down. It took him nearly an hour to explain what had happened with Serenity and Gabriel, but with each passing moment, Morgan seemed more himself, so he supposed it was worth it to bare his own private torment. When he was done, Morgan leaned back in his chair and shook his head.
“He’s your son, Luke. You can’t just give him up as though he’s a prize that Adrian won and you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Vanessa and Adrian love that boy, and it will hurt them to give him up. But he’s only been with them for a month. They love him enough to let him go, and they will be happy to be his aunt and uncle.”
Luke swallowed. “But what about Gabriel? Won’t he hate me for taking him away from the only home he’s ever known?”
“Don’t you think he wonders about his real family? Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth? He’ll want to know you. Trust me.” His voice gentled. “Don’t you think he wants to know Serenity?”
“Christ,” Luke muttered. “You’re right. That’s why she left. Because I didn’t even give her the option to know her own child. Because I said we couldn’t take him away from Adrian and Vanessa. I was so worried about hurting my brother that I hurt the woman I love instead.”
Morgan sighed. “You need to talk to Adrian. You need to tell him the truth. I think you’ll be happily surprised by his reaction. Vanessa, too.” He stood and gave his brother a half smile. “Let’s go have dinner with the kids.”
Chapter Twenty-one
When Luke arrived at Adrian and Vanessa’s house for dinner later that evening, Morgan and the children came with him for moral support. Adrian and Vanessa were thrilled to see Morgan, and for nearly an hour, they all caught up on everything that had been happening the last few weeks.
Luke enjoyed this time spent with his entire family very much, but his gaze constantly tracked Gabriel, and he was very aware of the lack of Serenity by his side. If only she were here, he felt that his life truly would be complete.
At last, when the children were playing raucously on the other side of the large room, Luke took a deep breath and turned toward where Adrian and Vanessa sat on the sofa side by side. “I have something I need to speak to you about,” he said hesitantly.
Vanessa and Adrian shared a look, and Vanessa gave him a sad smile. “Before you say whatever you’re going to say, there is something I need to tell you, all right?”
He nodded numbly, thrown off balance by his sister-in-law’s request.
She glanced over at Gabriel, eyes shining with pride and love. “Adrian told me that you suspected that Gabriel is your child. We know you’ve been trying to prove that, and I suspect that you’ve come here tonight because you have.” She turned her gaze back to Luke. “It makes so much sense. He looks exactly like you, Luke. I am surprised we didn’t realize it before.”
“You’re not upset?” he asked cautiously, tentative hope blooming within him.
“Of course not,” she said softly, blinking away a sheen of tears. “I love him, Luke. I love him with all my heart. Which is why I want what is best for him, and I think it is best for him to be with his true parents. He wonders about you, you know. He’s asked me what I think happened to him, why he was left at that place. He said he wishes he knew his mother and father. And though we have absolutely loved having him as our child, we will love him just as much as our nephew. I am so happy for you, and for Serenity as well.”
Luke took a deep breath and turned his gaze to his brother. “What about you, Adrian? What do you think?”
Adrian smiled. “We discussed this nearly all night. We cried, I admit. But in the end, we both decided that this was the right thing to do.”
Luke bowed his head, absolutely overwhelmed by their generosity of spirit. “Thank you,” he breathed. “I can never thank you enough for rescuing Gabriel, for giving him a hom
e and love.”
“It has been our absolute pleasure,” Vanessa murmured, blinking away tears.
Morgan squeezed his shoulder. “See, I told you they might surprise you.”
“You’ve been taking care of us all your life, Luke,” Adrian said, his voice a bit choked. “You always put everybody’s needs in front of your own. You hold us all together, even though I know sometimes that tears you apart. But I still can’t believe you were considering letting us keep your child, just so you wouldn’t hurt us.”
Luke swallowed thickly. “I was also worried about Gabriel. I didn’t want to rip him away from your happy home.”
“He will be just as happy in your home,” Vanessa assured him. “Serenity is wonderful, Luke. I know she’ll be a great mother. And we don’t doubt your ability to be a wonderful father either. You’ve been doing it for the twins ever since your father died.”
He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I only hope I can get Serenity back. I’ve never given her the security I should have. I know she thinks it’s because of her background, that I never asked her to marry me because she was the gamekeeper’s daughter, but none of that ever mattered to me. I’ve hesitated only because I was afraid. Afraid that if I gave my whole heart to her, I’d lose her.” He shared a sad smile with Morgan. “Now I realize what a fool I was for not cherishing every moment I have with her.”
Morgan nodded. “I don’t regret having loved Anne. Even if I’d known I’d only have her for a little while, I’d still have married her. The joy she gave me was worth this pain.”
Luke swept the little group with his gaze, overwhelmed by love and gratitude. “No matter what happens, we’ll always have each other, right? Together we can do anything.”
“Together we can do anything,” Morgan and Adrian echoed.
AFTER DINNER, ALL THREE brothers went up to the nursery, where the children had been served their dinner and were now playing with Gabriel’s toys. After giving him another pep talk, the twins took Hannah and William back downstairs in order to give him and Gabriel some time alone.
“Hello, Gabriel,” Luke said, sinking down on the floor near the boy, who was playing with a wooden train.
Gabriel looked up, his blue eyes serious. “Hello, Uncle Luke.”
Luke swallowed. “I need to tell you something very important,” he said, praying that the boy took the news well. “It’s about your real parents.”
“You know who my real parents are?” Gabriel asked, undeniable excitement in his eyes.
Nodding, Luke reached out and pulled the boy in his lap, even though he was a little big for such treatment. He hugged him tightly and pressed his lips to the boy’s temple. “A long time ago, I fell in love with a beautiful girl. Her name was Serenity. Do you remember Serenity? She has been visiting with Vanessa lately.”
Gabriel nodded jerkily, obviously a little taken aback by Luke’s sudden show of affection. Luke regretted mightily that he hadn’t taken more time to get to know him from the first, but he’d been so overwhelmed by everything else that he hadn’t had the time. “She’s a nice lady.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Luke said, squeezing the boy tighter. “In any event, although we loved each other very much, my mother did not want me to marry someone who was not an aristocrat. Do you know what an aristocrat is?”
“Yes,” Gabriel answered. “Someone rich like you.”
“Something like that.” Luke chuckled, then sobered. “My mother told Serenity I didn’t love her anymore, and then she sent her away. I never knew that she was going to have a baby, and I never saw her again until the day after your Aunt Anne died.”
Gabriel’s eyes widened as he obviously realized where the conversation was going.
“When Serenity had her baby, my mother and my stepbrother Roger took the baby away and told Serenity that he died. She has been very sad all these years, thinking that her baby did not survive.”
“Am I that baby?” Gabriel asked, his voice trembling. “Are you my father?”
“Yes,” Luke breathed. “I am. And when I found out that Roger had taken my child to Lady Hawley’s, I began dressing up as Prometheus and going out to speak to the people who ran that place. I would not rest until I found out what happened to you. So, imagine my surprise when I found out that you had been right under my nose all along.”
Gabriel’s large blue eyes filled with tears, and he suddenly hugged Luke back, pressing his little face against Luke’s neck. “I am so glad,” he whispered. “I love Vanessa and Adrian, but I have wanted so much to know where I really came from.”
The boy’s easy acceptance of his change in circumstances healed something deep inside of Luke. He held his son tight, feeling so blessed. “I’m so sorry that we weren’t there for you, son. We would have been if we had known. And now I want to make it up to you. You can still see Vanessa and Adrian whenever you want, but will you come home with me? Will you give me a chance to be the father I always wanted to be?”
Gabriel pulled back and nodded solemnly. “You and me and my mother... We can be a family?”
“Yes,” Luke breathed, hoping Serenity would give him the chance to make this first promise true. “Let’s go get your mother and tell her the good news.”
MORGAN KNOCKED ON BROOKHAVEN’S door, his heart thundering in his chest. He’d put this off for far too long, yet he still didn’t feel ready.
All too soon, the door opened, and a lovely redhead stood staring at him, her face puckering in surprise and then displeasure. “Morgan Strathmore, I presume?”
He nodded stiffly. “I’ve come for my daughter... Hope.”
“It’s about time,” she said, her voice heavy with censure. “I’m Fiona Bohannan. Please, come in.” So, this was the headmistress that Adrian had told him so much about. Strange, he’d had a very different image in his head. He’d expected her to be older. Not so... redheaded.
Entering the house, he found to his relief that it had a homey, happy feel to it. The wide foyer had gleaming wood and smelled fresh and clean.
“Right this way,” Mrs. Bohannan said, leading him up a sturdy staircase to the second floor. At the end of the hall, she stopped before a closed door and turned to him.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this? Hope is doing fine here with me.”
He flushed, guilt and anger overwhelming him. “I know that I’ve been...” He shook his head, not sure what he was even going to say. Was there a word even bad enough for a man who’d abandoned his own daughter when she needed him the most?
She frowned, her manner suddenly gentling. “Why don’t you come meet her?”
Pushing open the door, she led him to a crib in the corner, where a tiny baby slept peacefully. Morgan stared down at her, his chest seizing with pain and love. “She looks just like Anne,” he whispered. “God, she’s so beautiful.”
“She’s a good baby,” Mrs. Bohannan said fiercely, proving that Luke had been right to take Hope here. “She hardly ever cries. We’ve hired a wet nurse, and we take turns holding her when she’s awake. I was just on my way up here when you knocked.”
He cleared his throat, blinking away the sting of tears, and met her sharp gaze. “Thank you for all you’ve done. I hope you know... I didn’t leave her here because I didn’t love her. If anything... I love her too much. And my grief... it’s been a monstrous thing. All consuming. I didn’t want her to see me like that.”
“You must have loved her mother very much,” she said, his words seeming to banish some of her anger.
“I do... did, I mean,” he answered truthfully.
“Do is just fine,” she said softly. “Anne was lucky to have you, and little Hope here is too.”
He bowed his head, feeling he didn’t deserve her forgiveness. “Can I hold her?”
“Of course,” she answered, scooping the little girl up and depositing her in his arms.
The tears he’d been struggling to contain suddenly escaped him, along with a choked sob as he c
radled his daughter to his chest and she blinked up at him for the very first time.
“Hope,” he whispered, thinking Anne had done so well with naming her because, for the first time since she’d died, a little spark of it flared within him.
Chapter Twenty-two
The cottage on the Hawksmere estate was just as it had always been, though it had been repaired and painted, and she could tell that someone from the main house must come and take care of it frequently. She’d stopped at the mansion when she’d arrived, to tell them she was taking up residence there, and had been met with no resistance. The mansion Luke had built was everything she’d expected it to be, and she’d stood in the grand entryway, feeling very much a servant and remembering all her silly girlhood dreams of one day being his countess. Then she’d squared her shoulders, knowing she’d managed to secure a life that was much more than someone of her station could have ever expected, and retreated to the cottage.
Several days later, Serenity took the teapot off the stove with a sigh and poured herself a cup, glancing out the window as she heard a coach coming up the drive. She froze, suddenly thrust back to the last time she’d seen that coach, the day her life had been torn irrevocably apart. The tea splashed over the rim of the cup, burning her fingers and yanking her back to the present.
She bit her lip and cleaned up the spilled tea. She’d known he would come for her, but the days she’d spent apart from him had helped clarify things. She would be strong. She would tell him in no uncertain terms she was done with this. She couldn’t be his mistress, wouldn’t come back to London with him. Nothing he could say would sway her.
A few moments later, a loud knock sounded on the door. Swallowing and straightening her shoulders, she went to answer it, deciding that she wouldn’t even invite him in. She would say what she had to say with him standing on the stoop.
Despite her determination to not give into him, she couldn’t help but gaze hungrily at him once she’d opened the door. They just stood there, staring at each other for a long moment.
