“Can't sleep. Too much on my mind.”
“I brought you some stuff.” He shifted back to the bag and unzipped it.
“The letter?” She croaked, her voice hopeful.
“Yes, the letter. But other stuff too.”
“I want the letter. Now, please.” She held her hand out and waited.
Calvin warred with himself. “What if it's a bad letter, Zoe? Do you need extra stress?”
She shook her head and smiled confidently. “It's not.”
“How do you know, Zoe?” He handed the letter to her and sat in the chair beside her.
“He told me in my dream, Calvin. I don't feel like, after everything, he'd leave me something mean again. I just don't.” She unfolded the papers slowly and smoothed them in her lap.
“If you say so. I'll read it after you do.”
She nodded, her brow furrowing as she read.
Dear Zoe,
I'm sitting here on this couch and I know without a doubt, I won't see sunrise tomorrow. It's a humbling thought, and one I am not quite ready to face. But I guess I ain't got a choice in the matter, huh? I've always heard you’ll know when it's the end and I'll be damned if I don't. I feel my maker calling my name. I feel your momma calling for me. Zoe, I need to apologize. Again. For everything I did to you. When your momma died, a part of me died. The part that could love anything, but especially you. You look so much like her and it hurt more than sticking my hand into a fire, to look into your baby browns because I'd see her staring right back at me. I was a bad father and I know it. But you turned out all right, and I can't take any credit for it. You turned into a hell of a girl and I'm proud you’re my daughter. The boy you're married to is a good man, I like him. Not many men would have swallowed their pride and let someone they hate sleep on their couch. He loves you, it is so obvious, baby girl. I know that look in his eyes. He'd lay down on coals for you to walk across. He'd do anything it took to make you happy. Anything. Hold on to him and don't let go, you hear me? Regardless of if the baby's his, I believe he'll stay. My old ticker just tells me so. Anyhow, I'm rambling. I just don't know how to say everything I want to say in these few pages of paper. I love you. More than the sun rising, more than the ducks calling on the water. More than the air I breathe and the ever crashing waves on the shore. I'm damn proud you're my girl, and I wish – God I wish I had more time. But even if I don't have time, I have something else. You see, I told you a lie when I said I had nothing. I wanted to test your boy's mettle. And he passed. I didn't lose everything in Vegas, baby girl. Not by a long shot. My lawyer is gonna transfer everything to you. Truth of it all is, I hit it pretty big a couple times and I have about thirty thousand waiting for you. I know it's only money, but it can pay for my burial and set you and your little family up. Put something aside for the baby's college. Cause she's going. I wish I'd rode your ass and made you keep going. But it's another regret I'll carry on with me. Make your old man proud and do something amazing with your life, you hear me? I don't care what it is, just do something special. I know you will, you can't help but do it. Hell, you're your momma's girl, you ain't gonna be nothing less than amazing. I wish I could see all you'll do, but it's just not in the cards. My maker threw down a full house, Kings and Aces, and I only had a couple of dirty deuces. I'm tired, Zoe. So very, very tired. I'm ready to lay it all down. I know I didn't say it enough... but I love you, kid.
Dad.
Zoe placed the papers back in her lap and took a slow breath before letting it out. A tear trickled from the inner corner of her eye and down her cheek to splash on the pages. She brushed it off quickly, frowning as she smeared the ink a bit.
“What did it say?” Calvin asked softly, his hand stroking her own.
“Read it.” She croaked, unable to say more.
Calvin took the sheets of paper from her and sat back in the chair, his brow furrowing as he read. His eyes grew wide and Zoe knew he'd read the part about the money.
“Do you think this is a joke, Zoe?”
She shook her head. “No, I don't think he'd lie. Not when he knew he was going to...” Her throat closed and she squeezed her eyes shut as pain ricocheted through her chest. “die...” she whispered.
“You need to calm down, babe. Just relax okay?” Calvin stroked her hair back from her face, his thumbs dragging across her cheekbones to wipe away the tears she cried. “I hate to see you cry.”
“It's a good one, I guess. He did one good thing before he died. He made sure I would be taken care of.”
Calvin clenched his jaw, preventing the angry words from slipping out of his mouth. If only he had done it before...
Zoe shifted slightly in the bed and closed her eyes. “I am tired, so tired, Calvin.”
“You need to rest. Don't worry about anything, okay? I'll take care of it.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her soft mouth.
“I know you will. Until you have to go. It seems like that's what you're always doing... Going somewhere. But it's not for much longer...” Her breath came steady and slow and Calvin dimmed the lights. As she slumbered, he pulled the chair out into a bed and lay down on the hard leather cushions.
With the dim light he re-read the letter, shaking his head again. At least you redeemed yourself, Ed. Wherever you are, peace be with you...
Chapter Four
The next morning, Calvin slipped out of the chair and paused at the door for a moment. His wife slept with one hand pillowing her cheek, her body turned just slightly on the mattress, relieving pressure on her back. With a smile he opened the door and slipped into the hallway. A nurse smiled as he walked past the nurses' station.
“Good morning!”
“Good morning,” he replied, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He continued down the hall to the elevator and as the doors slid open, he stepped inside. He leaned against the cool metal of the wall and stretched his neck slowly, grimacing at the popping noises coming from his spine. That bed is not comfy! As he rolled his shoulders and took another slow breath, the doors slid open and he walked out into another hallway. The scent of food made his stomach rumble and he followed the signs to the cafeteria.
A soda and two sausage biscuits later, he felt more like himself. Polishing off the soda he tossed the bottle into a nearby trashcan and hustled back to the elevator. Zoe is sure to be awake now...
Once back on the maternity floor, he made a beeline to her room and opened it carefully. His eyes widened as he saw a doctor and a nurse in the room. “Good morning,” he called, alerting them to his presence.
“There you are!” Zoe said, her soft face breaking into a smile. She held her hand out and Calvin stepped forward to take it.
“Hey beautiful, you were asleep and I wanted to grab some breakfast.”
“We have some good news!” She whispered, her dark eyes luminous and bright with her excitement.
“Oh?” Calvin glanced up at the doctor who smiled. “What's going on?”
“Well,” he started. “We've had no contractions for twelve hours. I think Zoe is doing great and the baby is doing fantastic as well. I am willing to release her to home, on some conditions, of course.”
Calvin grinned. “That's incredible!” He squeezed Zoe's hand.
The doctor nodded. “Yes, but there are conditions.”
“What are the conditions, doc?”
“She has to be on bed rest. Which means only getting up long enough to go to the bathroom and for, at most, ten minute showers. The rest of the time, I want her legs up and her resting. No stress, period. No sex of any kind.” He paused and wiggled his brows. “Of ANY kind, I mean.” He glanced at Calvin. “She can handle your business but that's about it.”
Zoe blushed hot and Calvin chuckled. “Noted.”
“And the next thing is, I want her to see a doctor once a week for an ultrasound.”
Zoe piped up. “Dr. Crist can do that.”
“All right, I'll send a letter with you for him explaining what I want done. If you start f
eeling contractions again, you get back up here immediately. Do not stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Come here. Got it?” He pointed his pen at Zoe with a hard stare.
“Got it!” She chirped.
“Good. If you have any fluid leaking, any spotting, anything. What do you do?”
Zoe smirked. “Do not stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200! Come straight here.”
“Good girl! I like you. Our goal is to keep this baby baking until at minimum twenty-eight weeks. Every day past that is just icing on the cake. Well, I think I'm going to get your paperwork written up and discharge you this evening. I want you to go straight home and rest. Got it?”
“Not even a Sonic stop?” Zoe pleaded, her big dark eyes wide and her full bottom lip jutting out.
“One Sonic stop, then straight home, missy.” He waggled his pen and chuckled.
“You got it!”
“Well I guess I can get you out of here since you understand all the rules of your mission. Let me get some paperwork started, we'll monitor you for a few more hours, and as long as everything is good, then we'll let you out of here.” He moved to the door and opened it.
“Wait. Will I be able to sit up long enough for my Dad's funeral?” Zoe asked softly.
“Your dad died? My condolences. Yes, you can sit up long enough for that, then straight home.” He paused for a moment and stared at her with a poignant, sad look before leaving the room.
Calvin sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Hey, are you okay?”
Zoe blinked rapidly and blew out a slow breath, her lips pursing with the exhalation. “Yeah. I get to go home.”
“That's a good thing. Oh! I have cookies from Grams. Do you want them?” He shifted and opened his bag.
“Does a bear poo in the woods, Calvin?”
“Well, usually.” He snickered, handing her the plastic bag of cookies.
She tore into them with relish, groaning as the flaky sugar cookie dissolved on her tongue. “So good.”
“Grams makes the best cookies I've ever had.”
“She sure does. I need her recipe. Not that I can bake for crap, but I would definitely like to try.” Zoe munched on the cookies and Calvin watched her quietly.
God, I hate lying to you...But it's just to keep you safe...I just hope you don't hate me later.
“Zoe, I need to call my sergeant again and keep him up on the situation. I'll be right back.”
“Okay!” She mumbled around a bite of cookie. “Hey, can you bring me something to drink?”
“Sure, babe.” He smiled as he walked out of the room. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialed as he moved down the hallway. He paused at the drink machine long enough to feed change into the slot and pick a bottle of apple juice. “Hi Sergeant.” Calvin shifted to lean against the wall while he explained the situation to his superior. “I wanted to talk to you about something. I want to start out-processing.” He paused to listen. “Yes sir, I can come to Fort Carson. I'll be there. Thank you, sir.”
With a grin he disconnected the call and hurried down the hall. Zoe sat in bed still munching on a cookie, watching TV and she smiled as he came into the room. “Hey.”
“I brought you juice.”
“Awesome, thanks.” She took the bottle from him and opened it to take a few quick drinks. “How did your call go?”
“Good. Apparently my unit is going to be processing back sooner than later and I'm wanted in Fort Carson instead of back in Afghanistan.”
“Wait...You don't have to go back?” Her eyes went wide.
“Nope. I am planning on heading back there and beginning out-processing. The rest of my unit will be back in a few weeks.”
“That's incredible, Calvin!” She put her arms up for a hug and Calvin leaned forward into her embrace.
“So I'll be stateside. At least a little closer to you.” He whispered into her neck, savoring the feel of her arms around him.
“I'm so happy.”
“Good, you deserve to be. You deserve it and so much more.” He kissed her cheek and pulled back. “You know, I still have a Christmas present for you.”
“A present? For me? Calvin, I don't need anything... I'm not really in the spirit anymore.”
“Well, I'll give it to you soon. It's very special.”
“Soon.” She nodded.
Calvin watched his wife's face as it ran the gamut of emotions from worry to sadness, hope and back again. She bit into another cookie and closed her eyes as she chewed.
“It's going to be okay, Zoe.”
“I know.” she sighed.
Later that evening, Calvin pulled into the driveway of the tiny house he'd always known as home. Zoe sat stiffly beside him, gripping her Route 44 drink in both hands, her nails leaving crescent shaped indents in the foam cup.
“Hey,” he started. “It's okay.”
“Yeah.” She smiled tightly. “It's fine. I want to go lay down.”
“Let's get in there.” He opened his door and came around to her side, offering her a hand as she climbed out.
Zoe gripped his hand tightly as they walked up to the door, the pressure of her fingers around his own growing with each step.
“Look at me.”
Her dark eyes met his in the dim glow of the porch light. “Yeah?”
“It's okay.”
“He died in there.”
“But he's not there anymore. You said yourself he's happy. It's okay to keep going, Zoe. He would want you to.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. “You're right.”
The front door came open and Grams stood illuminated in the doorway. “Hey, baby. Get yourself in here. I made some food. I figured you'd be hungry.”
“I had Sonic,” she whispered. “But I'm still hungry.”
“Then let's get you in bed and I'll get you a plate.” Grams took her by the hand and pulled her inside.
“Okay, but you don't have to wait on me, Grams.”
“Hush your pretty face. Get in bed and let's keep your baby in there as long as we can, okay?” Calvin followed behind them and watched from the doorway as Zoe sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off her shoes. She shifted on her side and lay on the pillow.
“We could get cable set up in here, probably, couldn't we, Grams? Maybe it would give her something to do.”
Grams nodded. “Sure could. I'll call the cable company tomorrow. But for now, you rest, missy.” She shuffled past Calvin and back into the kitchen.
“Babe, I'll be back. I'm going to go talk to Grams for a while, okay?”
Zoe nodded. “Sure. Can I have my Kindle?”
“Of course. Let me go get the bag.” He hurried through the house and back out to the car, snagging the black bag in one hand and running back inside. Once he was back in the small bedroom he unzipped it and handed her the e-reader. “Here you go.”
“Thanks. I'll just read.”
“Okay.” He pulled the door most of the way closed and walked back down the hallway to the kitchen where Grams puttered around warming up a plate of ham and macaroni and cheese.
“Hey, Calvin. Sit down here. You look like you have a load on your shoulders you need to lay down. What's up, honey?” She pointed at the yellowed chair with a smile.
“Yeah, I do, Grams.” He pulled the chair out and sat. Pops came in a few seconds later and sat down in a chair across from him.
“Hey, son, what's on your mind?”
“I don't have to go back to Afghanistan. My unit is being called back. I'll be heading to Fort Carson on the first. Then I'll start out-processing, and I'll be home in a couple of months.” He leaned back in the chair and ran a hand over his head.
“So what's the problem, son?” Pops reached for the refrigerator and opened it, finding a beer inside. “You want one?”
“No thanks, Pops. I just hate to leave her, period.”
“She can't travel.”
“No, I know that. And I know you guys will take good care of her, but I feel like
I should be the one taking care of you, not vice versa, you know?” Calvin groaned and rubbed his eyes.
“It's what family does, son. We take care of each other.”
“Yeah, I know, Grams. I just feel bad.”
“Well,” she smiled. “Don't feel bad. We'll work your tail end off when you get home. The house needs some fixing up. Plus I expect you to be raising the baby up in the church.”
Calvin chuckled. “I'll do anything you want, Grams. You know that.”
“I do, boy. You're a good one. You make us proud. Lay your burden down and enjoy your time home. I know it's easier said than done with everything that has happened, but we gotta find the good in each day. Today the good was Zoe coming home and the baby being all right for a little longer.”
“You're right, Grams. What does the funeral home say?”
Pops took a drink of his beer. “Funeral can happen any day now. Just need your say so.”
Calvin swallowed. “Not tomorrow, but the day after would be fine. It's a Saturday. Afternoon, sometime?”
“Yeah, that'd work. We'll make some calls in the morning.” Grams replied.
“Well, I have some other news.”
“Oh?” Pops asked, his brow raising.
“Yeah. In the letter Zoe's dad left, he left her some money, a nice bit.”
Pops nodded and took another drink. “That was good of him, I expect.”
“Yeah, I guess. I just wish he'd done it from the get go, not now.” Calvin grumbled.
“Ah, don't let hate get ahold of you, son.” Pops shook his head. “Because if he had taken on his responsibilities, you think you and Zoe would be together? Think about it. Fate happened at just the right time and you two needed each other. More than you know.”
Calvin blew out a breath. “You're probably right.”
“Take his money with a grateful heart and use it to make a life for you and her.”
“You're right.” He nodded.
“I know I am. I been around the block a few times.”
Grams whirled around with a spoon in hand. “Oh? Is that so?”
February Waltz (Rhythm of the Heart Book 3) Page 2
