by Jen Pretty
I furrowed my brow at him. "I used to swing a sword. Joshua ruined my hand so now I use a knife. I'm not sure if I will be able to use a sword ever again, but I'm a trained boxer, I don't mind fighting without weapons if you are up for it." I grinned thinking I could probably slow him enough to hit him and hitting something was a great plan for the evening.
He looked at me speculatively like he knew what I was thinking but then a slow smile crossed his face and his pointy teeth flashed in the light. "Sounds like fun. Let's go," he said with a sneaky grin.
I was starting to second guess my plan. Roman seemed a little too keen. He had something up his sleeve, but I needed an outlet for all the frustration I was feeling. Emotions were overwhelming me, and I'd only been away from Armond for four days. As we walked along the halls of the castle heading for this courtyard Roman had mentioned, I wondered how long it would take to train these people to use their magic and if I would even make it that long without self-destructing. This was ridiculous. I needed to stop thinking about it. I needed to hit some things or maybe some vampires.
Roman led me out a door to a proper courtyard. There were ten foot walls on two sides and the three-story stone building on the other two sides.
Crushed stone dust crunched under our boots, but it was otherwise silent in the vast private space. When we arrived at the center, Roman stopped and set down the pair of long swords he brought with him. Just in case I changed my mind, he had said as he grabbed them on our way out the door.
"So, let's lay some ground rules," he said as I tied my hair up in a tight bun so it wouldn't get in the way.
I smiled at him. "Are you worried I might hurt you?" I asked and snickered a bit.
He snorted, "Hardly, I've been fighting since your ancient ancestors walked the earth but I find it best to have rules, so no one walks away with her feelings hurt." He laughed.
"SOMEONE will be hurt" I scowled at him.
"Bring it."
"Square up."
"Alright fine, no rules. Free for all – fight night," he said taking his shirt off. Damn.
I was distracted for a moment, and he used super speed to run up, grab me, and spin me around. He pulled my arms behind me and swept my legs out from under me and suddenly I was on the ground, face in the dirt and he was sitting on me holding both my arms in place behind my back.
"Fuck." I gasped as I tried to catch my breath.
"How about one rule?" he asked. "No magic."
I pretended to think about it for a moment and then pulled the earth magic into me and slammed time to a stop. It only made him sluggish, but it was enough of an edge. I broke free of his hold and rolled quickly onto my back before pulling my knees up and using both feet to donkey kick him hard in the stomach launching him a few feet away and jumping to my feet. I let go of my magic, and he coughed and sputtered before getting his bearings and zooming back towards me.
This time he didn't hold back, he just barreled into me, and we landed in a pile, him still on top of me and he was no lightweight. I started punching him in the ribs and kept going till he cried out. I might have cracked one of his ribs but it didn't slow him down, he grabbed my hands and pinned them down above my head.
"Shit, you are such a scrapper. Who taught you to fight like that?"
"Life. My life for the last few months taught me to fight like hell. Before that, it was just boxing,” I panted, “Armond taught me to fight with a sword and then with a knife when I could no longer swing a sword."
We were both breathing hard, and he pressed into me, but it only made me feel calm.
"Why do I feel like this when you touch me?" I asked. It was the second time his touch had grounded me and made me feel ok. We weren't family; it didn't make sense.
"There used to be a special bond between some Fae and some vampires. They called them destined, and they could bond as Fae do. It's not as strong a bond at first. It has to grow but it does grow, and eventually, the destined will be inseparable as Henry's parents were."
I paused for a moment. "Get off me." He looked confused for a moment and didn't move. "I said get off!" and I struggled to get out of his hold. "You are lying. There is no way you just happened to be chosen for this mission and just happened to be destined to be bonded with me. It's a lie. Get off!" I shouted fighting full strength now. Then suddenly he was gone.
"I'm sorry." I heard him say as I ran back into the castle and through to the front door that led to the city. I didn't know my way around, but I just followed some music and found a bar or club or whatever they wanted to call the dark, dirty hole in the wall that offered alcohol and dancing.
The very idea of bonding to someone else while Armond was out there somewhere, made me feel dirty. Like I could just replace him. Armond saved my life and made me fight to survive. He taught me how to live again.
So, I drank. A lot. Then I pushed my way onto the dance floor and started dancing. The music was loud in the small space, and all the other bodies were hot and sweaty. I let my mind take a vacation, and I just allowed the music to pull me where it wanted me to go. There were hands on me, and I didn't care. I didn't have to think here; I could just let go of everything.
Eventually, I got tired. The bruises from fighting Roman started aching and I decided I wasn't drunk enough. I managed to swing onto a stool in the now crowded bar just as a man vacated it. When I saw who was behind the bar, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Grant!" I yelled, "What are you doing here? Wait, is this the same club I was in before?"
He flashed me a crooked smile. "You wild woman! No, I'm just covering for a buddy tonight. I don't usually work here."
"Well good cause if this were the same club I'd say I'm too drunk. Since it isn't, how about you pour me a drink?"
He just shook his head and made me a yummy blue fruity drink, and I thanked him kindly. I didn't have any of their money, but the first bartender who had served me here had assured me that the King was covering my expenses and also any man in the club would be happy to buy me a drink anyway.
I downed my drink and then spun around to hit the dance floor again but ran smack into a broad chest.
I looked up into steel grey eyes that crinkled at the corners and immediately flung my arms around Victor’s torso and buried my face in his chest.
"How did you find me?" I mumbled with my face still pressed against his chest as tears began to fall from my eyes.
"Margo and Luke were both worried about you. Margot asked me to come, and I don't know how to say no to that woman." He smiled then he scooped me up and took me out the door before setting me back on my feet. "Let's walk around this nice city for a while. Maybe burn off a bit of the alcohol in your system?"
"Victor, I'm maybe having a hard time here. I should probably go home. I'm going to disappoint everyone." I complained. Victor was one of the few people I felt ok to be vulnerable around. I didn't have to hide from him because he had seen me at my worst more than a few times already.
He put his arm around my shoulder, and we walked close together through the narrow streets of the town.
"Margot said you would be successful with these people. I'm not sure how you can disappoint anyone if you are going to be successful, but I suppose you could still disappoint yourself if you keep going towards rock bottom. Why are you drinking and where is your vampire?"
"He's not my vampire!" I exclaimed, and Victor raised his hands and gave me a look that suggested I might have just shot the messenger. Oops "I'm sorry! Ugh. It's just, I guess I kind of like him and my brain doesn't know how to handle that information, and I guess I was relying on Armond to keep me together and without him here I'm a bit lost. I don't know what I'm doing." I told him honestly, but I was too worked up and had stopped time again. I took a deep breath and let go of my magic, but my body couldn't handle the added punishment of using my magic while intoxicated, and I threw up on the ground. Ugh. When I finished, I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and wiped my eyes and mouth.
Afte
r another moment Victor went on, "You don't have to solve all the problems at once. You should focus on one thing at a time," he said throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me along at a slow walk down the street towards the King’s castle.
"The elders said to focus on the treaty and that Armond is fine for now, but he's important to me. He is the only one I'm bonded to here, but even if that weren't the case, I'd still want to help him. He raised hell to get me back from Joshua and all I'm doing is sitting here."
Victor took his arm off my shoulder and started rooting through his pocket for something before handing me a stick of gum. I took it and started chewing. "Luke told me about Armond. I'm sorry."
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself, but I was too drunk and tripped on a rock. A pair of steely arms stopped my fall before I hit the ground.
"Why do you have to save me all the time?" I asked Roman who had appeared from the shadows just in time to catch my drunk ass.
Roman chuckled. "I'm sorry. Why don't you introduce me to your fairy friend," he said looking pointedly at Victor.
"For fuck sake. This is Victor. He just popped in to let me know I'm being an idiot and guilt me into lowering my alcohol consumption."
Roman snickered and shook Victor’s hand.
"Now that you two party crashers have met, can I go pass out somewhere?" I asked trying to push away from Roman who was still holding me upright with one arm.
"Yes. I should get back to Margot. She will be going crazy waiting to hear that you are fine. Please try not to worry her. Maybe stick with Roman so Margot can sleep at night and I can sleep at night?" Victor gave me a pointed look.
I knew I was being a shit and had to get myself together. I knew that logically but my emotions were so messed up. "I'll try. That's the best I can do."
"Fair enough." Victor gave me a quick hug and poofed away.
"That's freaky," Roman said.
"No freakier than your dietary choices," I replied.
He laughed and did his tooth click noise thing. Weirdo. We carried on walking towards the castle. It was only another block or so away now, and I could see Daisy waddling down the street towards us quaking.
"Daisy has been taking food from everyone in the castle. At this rate, he won't be able to walk in another week," Roman said breaking the awkward silence between us. I knew I had to talk to him about whatever was going on between us, but I figured that might be more of a sober talk. So I just sighed and accepted his efforts to bring us back to a more neutral topic.
"He just needs more exercise," I said. “Maybe he can come for some runs with me. I was thinking of running in the mornings anyway as I need more exercise.”
"That's ridiculous. You are perfect." Roman muttered.
"My mind isn't, Roman. I'm losing control, but I don't want to talk about it while I'm still somewhat drunk so let's leave that alone, ok?"
"Alright. I'd like to run with you and Daisy tomorrow. Would that be ok?" he asked.
"Alright," I said. It was probably safer for the whole city if I had a babysitter anyway.
We met Daisy finally. His little tail was wagging, and he was quacking away. I bent over and picked him up; he was more substantial than when I met him four days ago. "You silly duck. Too many treats I think."
He quacked once loudly like he was offended.
"I'm sorry, but it's true." I laughed and snuggled my face into his feathery back.
We entered the King’s castle and headed back to our room. It was nearly dinner time now, but I wasn't hungry. Too much alcohol and vomiting in the street will do that to you.
"Roman, can I ask you a question?" I said, deciding I needed to ask if I wanted to know.
"Sure, ask me anything," he said sitting down across from me at the small table in our room with his plate of food from the fresh cart the butler delivered.
"Uh. What does blood taste like to you? I mean I know it tastes like pennies to me, but is that appetizing to vampires?" I plopped down on the small couch with Daisy facing Roman.
He smiled at me like I was clever. "It tastes like sunshine. It's warm and soft and feels like hot cocoa on a cold day. Nothing like pennies."
"That's weird. Does normal food taste good to you?"
"No. It's flat, and some food has no flavor at all. Steak is pretty good. But this?" he pointed to his rice type food on his plate, "tastes like nothing."
"That's sad, actually. That rice tastes like almonds. It's delicious." I said.
"I don't even know what almonds taste like to you, I've never been human. Eating is fun though. I like crunchy foods, and spicy foods have some flavor. It helps to divide the day when you eat three times though I will need to go drink blood tonight," he said taking another mouthful of his rice.
"You can't just grab someone," I said a bit horrified at the thought. Daisy was sitting on the table and had buried his head under his wing, snoring softly.
"No, the King has found a few volunteers, though I think he would have kicked me out if he wasn't worried about offending you. He wants your help."
"Ya. Well, I'm not staying here without you." I said as I squished my face down into Daisy's soft feathers. He could weigh a hundred pounds, and I'd still love his soft feathers.
"Is that so?" he asked with a pleased smile.
"Ugh. I mean I'm not staying here alone. I mean without someone I trust. I mean that I know anyway. God. Shut up."
"I knew I'd start to grow on you."
"Like a gross foot fungus," I said and snickered. I was still just drunk enough to find myself funny.
"Can I ask you something?" he said sobering.
I paused for a second. It was probably only fair since I asked him a question. Plus I was a bit of a psycho to him earlier. "I guess," I said cautiously.
"Don't be so suspicious." He smiled that crooked grin at me. It was an adorable smile, not a light up the room smile, more of a private smile that made you feel like he was smiling just for you.
"Alright, fine, out with it."
"Were you and Armond together. Like in a relationship?" he asked looking down at his food and playing with his fork.
I watched him for a minute. I knew he was interested in me; he had made that clear from the moment he saw me for the first time. Maybe I was still a bit drunk because I decided to answer him. "Not really. We kissed once, but neither of us felt that way about each other. I think we just wanted to be sure. Our friendship grew pretty fast once we bonded. Before that, we didn't much like each other. Now I miss him, and I honestly don't know how to get along without him." I finished speaking, and the room was quiet for a long minute.
"I want to help you." He said quietly. "I'm a good person, Lex. I swear I'd never hurt you."
"My mind knows that, but my heart and my soul are still a bit broken," I sighed. "I haven't figured out how to be whole on my own yet. Is that even possible for Fae? Or am I destined to have to rely on someone else to keep me from falling apart my whole life? It's only been a few days, and I'm already trying to destroy myself." I looked up at Roman who was watching me with his red eyes. "Can you help me stand on my own feet, Roman?"
He just sat there watching me before finally speaking. "If that's what you want, I've got your back." He paused before continuing, "I want you to know, and please don't run away again, but I want you and I would bond with you right now if you wanted that. If you're going to try living without a bonded, it is possible for powerful Fae to live away from their family. They have to use their magic to keep themselves grounded. Your teacher, Master Evan, lived without a bonded for decades before he became a teacher and started bonding to young Fae to help them learn.
"How do you know so much about Fae?" I asked.
He smiled again and shifted his eyes up to the ceiling. "Henry has told me a lot of things. He wanted to prepare me for this journey, so he had me study all week while you and Armond were vacationing."
"Keener."
He laughed at that, "If I had known I'd meet you,
I'd have worked twice as hard."
I just smiled and shifted Daisy off my lap. "I think I'm going to go to bed. Enough serious talk for one night."
Daisy woke up and waddled after me.
"I'll only be gone about 20 minutes," Roman said. I forgot he was going out for a drink. Gross.
"Alright," I said, crawling under the covers with Daisy right behind me so he could get a nice warm spot cuddled up under the blankets too.
I heard the door open and close, and then I was asleep.
chapter SEVEN
"Would you like to try sparring again today?" Roman asked way too loudly from right beside me on the couch where I sat just as the sun peeked over the horizon out the window.
"Shut up Roman," I whispered harshly. I had rolled out of bed with gum stuck in my hair and wearing dirty clothes from my bender the night before. I was trying not to wonder what was on the front of my shirt.
Roman cleared his throat, and when I glanced up at him, he smiled again "But it's a great day. The guards said the courtyard would be free most of the morning and I still haven't had a good fight."
I just sighed and drank some more of my bitter coffee. I pondered the brewing method. Perhaps if it were brewed in a coffee maker, it would taste better, but there was no electricity here, so that was out.
"You just about ready to go running? I found some lighter shoes for you." Roman was close to death, and he didn't even know it. I vaguely remembered something about running to help get some weight off Daisy the pig-duck. I wasn't sure how far I would make it, but I knew I was only half hungover. The other half of my problem was being alone. Even though my rational mind knew that, I was still finding it hard to pull myself up.
"I don't know. Maybe I'll sit here on the couch and drink my shit coffee, and you can go do the running and the fighting." I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. I knew I could let time go and it would be dinner time which was almost bedtime and then I'd be sleeping. Maybe I would see Luke.
"No," Roman said.
